HELP! 2 Yr Old Crying All Day at New Daycare :(

It usually takes 2-3 weeks for a child to adjust to a new childcare setting, it will eventually get better. This is normal.

Drop the child off in his classroom, tell him you love him and will be back then leave. It's really harder on you than him. If you stay comforting him and reinforcing to him that you feel bad the longer it will take for the adjustment.

The teacher really should have experience in helping the child adjust and make the transition. Let her do her job.

Find someone you can trust who can take care of him instead of the day care. Someone who will love him. If you can do this it'll make all the difference.
I still have parents that thank me for helping raise their child all these years later because they know the difference it's made.
I know it's not easy to find, but they're still out there.
This isn't the popular answer but oh well

First of all, don't be afraid of the huge disruption to the class. That is the teachers concern, don't take on that guilt as well as the Mama Guilt. The teachers SHOULD be sweet and work with you and him, because that is their job. This can't be the first kid to have a hard time adjusting.

Don't let him see you get down or feel guilty. No crying mom. Not until you are safetly in your car where he can't see you. Try to stay positive, I know it's hard, but everything in him is looking to you for clues on how he should be feeling and reacting.

Try to make drop offs short and sweet. Also, could your hubby drop him off? My almost 4 year old hardly even has time to kiss her daddy before she is off playing, but if I do drop off on a random day, she will cling and whine as I try to leave. She knows mom's a sucker ;)

A game I tried was "which way do I go?" pretending to not remember the way to the front door. She thought that was funny and would show me. Distraction is your best friend (but I don't believe in sneaking away without saying goodbye). Also, it sounds mean, but if they feed him breakfast right away, don't feed him (much) at home before you leave, when my daughter was hungry she wanted to go EAT.

I got this book from Amazon, it's just a little story but it helped.
Adam's Daycare by Julie Ovenell-Carter

Hang in there. It gets better.

Have you tried the book "The kissing Hand" by Audrey Penn? Its my new fave for when my childcare chidren transistion to school from my place.

The story goes...Chester Racoon is worried and anxious/scared about starting school...so Mama tells him a special secret...about the kissing hand. Basically...she kisses his hand before he goes in to school. He is told is he feels sad/scared, etc (whatever language you decide to give them for their age)..he can put the "kiss" to his cheek and feel Mama (or daddys) love anytime they want. So its all about that connection. So the kissing hand is always with them whenever they need it.

I think its a great little ritual to do as a transition to school (and in the story Chester gives one to Mama too!..very sweet!).

Worth trying if books are a big part of your days/bedtime, etc. Teachers could remind him of his Kissing hand..that he can use it anytime he needs it, etc (easier than a blankie, etc if they don't allow tag-a-longs /loveys during waking hours) You could even go so far as to draw a heart or something on their hand if they need the visual (the story does show a heart)....You could suggest the story to the teachers too...there is a TON of materials and lesson plans and crafts and things on the book...many preschools and kindergartens, etc do this story for the beginning of a school year.

Give it a shot! Books are great helpers for transitions!
Good Luck!

You have some really wonderful suggestions on here and Allison is right about the teachers. This is their job and any teacher worth their salt will take it in stride and be patient with your little one. If they aren't or start to fuss about it, start shopping for a new daycare.

Our youngest son had terrible separation anxiety and cried most of the day for the first couple of weeks he was in daycare. This made my anxiety skyrocket. I was on bedrest with my preganancy and that was the only reason he was there, so on top of everything I felt HUGE guilt. The really smart and wonderful teacher came up with the idea of the passbook. It was a little notebook about the size of a 5X7 photo that we used to give each other information (the teacher and I). I was able to let her know about his morning, his mood, how he slept, if he had eaten and so on. I would write down the info and leave it in his cubbie. When we picked him up, she had written in it about his day. How he ate, how he napped, what activities he really enjoyed, what new foods he tried, what milestones he met. It was so helpful because then we had things to talk with him about when we picked him up and it answered alot of out questions. I thought it was brilliant and it was a huge help. You might talk to the teacher about starting one with her.

Another thing we learned was that if I dropped him on he cried less because Daddy is the soft touch in our family. On the reverse if Daddy picked him up there was much less drama because he was so excited to see Daddy and if I picked him up he was a little disappointed (total Daddy's boy). So we adopted a schedule that made both drop off and pick up the most positive experience for everyone.

Hope this helps.

L.

Although my son (2yo) took to Daycare like a champ, my daughter (7yo) would have been a basket case. On her first day of 1st grade, she had a meltdown... The teacher put her in the "quiet chair" (not to be confused with punishment) and gave her the class rabbit to hold and pet to calm down. My daughter didn't want to leave her teacher because of how she handled her meltdowns. I actually learned a lot from her.

I agree with not taking on the worries about disruptions. At our daycare... after the majority of kids get there... What isn't a disruption? I also agree with the breakfast thing. We have created a new distraction for our son as soon as we get to daycare. They always have something there for them to eat right away or sometimes I bring something that he loves, but he doesn't get it until he's in his chair to eat at school. I ask him if he wants to eat... He never tells me no. So I get his food ready, kiss his forehead, and tell him that I'll see him later. He's good to go. When I was unable to do that one morning... I felt terrible, but he had a meltdown. He was done crying before I was out the front door though.

I say distraction works pretty well... With both of my kids.

I have seen many kids start daycare later, and they cry all day. Try not to feel too guilty, but that is easier said than done. Give me at least 2 weeks to adjust to the routine. Ask him what he got to do or learned each day. Ask him about his friends and teachers. Ask his teacher what he seemed to enjoy and focus on that, and how much he enjoyed it.

When you leave him, what are they doing? For awhile, my son had to be distracted, still does to some extent. At first it was hand washing - he loves that. Right now it is reading a book. He picks one out and takes it to the teacher and they read together.

Good luck, he will get used to it.

I'm sure you've gotten a ton of answers by now... keep doing what you are doing. He just needs to get used to the situation and to feel comfortable that you will return to get him. The teachers are used to things like this so don't worry too much about that. Just make the drop off quick and smother him w/ hugs and kisses when you pick him up. It will stop, I promise. My son didn't do daycare until he was 3 1/2 and the first week was great - no tears, etc...thought how great. His day care provider said - next week (the 2nd week) he will have issues and sure enough he did. THat whole 2nd week he cried and cried - but after that - all was well. I know that it's tough to see your little guy crying but he will be fine.

I love Nichol's suggestion of the kissing hand book! How precious!!! I started my daughter (she's now 6 1/2) in daycare the week she turned two. It is definitely a huge transition time. That kissing hand book would've been great for her! Another thing she liked was a little family photo of us. We laminated it and she could wear it around her neck, or put it in a pocket. That way, they have you with them during the day. Personally tho' I like that kissing hand idea. With or without these suggestions tho, it WILL get easier over time. I promise you that. If you are at peace with your center and feel great about his teachers, then just give him some time. Pretty soon, he will realize how much fun he can have there. And he will quickly learn that mommy really does come back to get him every single day. ;0) Just keep all your talk positive and excited. When you pick him up each day ask him what exciting things he got to do and make a super big fuss over any little art projects, etc. Tell him how lucky he is that he gets to be such a big boy and go to big boy school and do such fun stuff! How you sure wish you got to have that much fun everyday! You know......just try to build his little ego and make him feel super proud for the big boy he's becoming. This same time next month......it'll be smooth sailing and you'll look back on this post like, "man......that sure sucked! But, it was totally worth it!" =0) And you'll be giving transition advice to the next new daycare mommy. Good luck!!! HUGS!!!!!!!

I agree with Amy. Two weeks seems to be the magic time-- that's how long it took my daughter to really get used to it. One tip that helped us out was to ask the teacher to meet me at the door of the classroom & try to get my daughter to come in and play. That way, it wasn't ME leaving my daughter-- she was leaving me to go do something else. And don't worry about the teachers-- I would guess that 95% of the kids there went through the exact same thing.

Your son will soon realize that Mommy will be back to pick him up later and he's going to have new toys and friends to play with in the meantime. Circle a date 2 weeks from now, and look forward to it. He'll be fine. :-)

I had a child that started a daycare at age 2 as well and he would cry every day which meant I would leave in tears every day. It was horrible. I do know that within minutes after me leaving, he was fine.

To help him, I made a heart necklace out of construction picture and then cut a picture of our family out and glued it to the heart. I then went to a store and had it laminated and punched a hole in the top part and laced with yarn to make it into a necklace. That way, he could always look down and see his family when he needed to feel more close to us. After awhile, he no longer needed to wear the necklace.

Hope it helps. I know its hard leaving our little ones but like everyone said, it does take a little time to adjust and some kids just do take a little longer.

try letting him bring a picture of you inside a pillow or stuffed animal. And dont worry, he will get accustomed to this. Just make sure when you say good bye (and you are saying good bye? not just sneaking away?) to make sure you tell him you are coming back to pick him up "ill be back to get you after snack time..."

Give him some time to adjust. Just 'rip the bandaid off quickly' - say your goodbyes short and sweet in the morning and walk out. My son cried every morning and broke my heart - daily - for YEARS. But the day care had a window from outside where a parent could look in and the child wouldn't know he could be seen. You could look in and 10 min after I left he'd be playing with other kids and having a good time. In a few years I was confused because he would cry in the morning at drop off time, but when I came to pick him up he'd tell me he wants to stay longer and play! Sometimes they really just tug at your heart strings! You'll both be fine.

listen to the child theres got to be some reason they can only tell you in certain ways i took my daughters to a new day care once and my oldest at that time was about 4 and freaked kids have gut instinct to listen and find someone one else

In my past experience, unfortunately, is to let him handle it himself. The teachers are used to it, and it may take up to 2 weeks for him to get the hang of it. Its heartbreaking, I know....
It took us only a week (5 days- longest week of my life) but he did come around, and now he loves it.
Good Luck!!

I am a daycare provider and some kids adjust some don't. In 13 years I have only had 2 that never did adjust, but you may just have to give it time. Age 2 is not a good age to start daycare because at that age they understand the concept of being left. Most of my kids that came to my daycare came as infants and grew up with me and my family, and we are their second family. Give it a little more time, you may need to be a SAHM. It;s a very rewarding job. J.

Curb your anxiety about it...they pick up on it. Give it some time, he is young and this is new. When you drop off, make a quick exit.

Maybe work with the teachers on what activities they are doing...if you know what the activities are maybe you could get him excited about say "little mermaid coming to read a story, or painting a picture in art, etc."
One thing I often do is tell my son to share a story with one of the teaches when I drop him off. For example if we went on a bike trail and fed the ducks I over the weekend I would tell him to tell his teacher about it upon drop off at school on Monday, that usually gets him excited...but that all depends on how talkative he is. My little guy talks up a storm and he is almost 2.5...not just 2. Good luck and all the best!