Have Questions Regarding Separation and Child Support

If you have insurance through him, he cannot take you off his insurance without a qualifying event. Moving out is not a qualifying event. He cannot take you off his insurance in anticipation of a divorce either. You need to contact his employer and make sure they understand you're separated, but not divorced and that you understand your rights. There are very clear cut Federal regulations about insurance. If you're on his plan he CANNOT drop you in anticipation of a divorce or simply because he's mad.
Good luck!

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Unfortunately, you will have to get a lawyer. Shop around; ask your social worker if there are pro bono ones. He has to pay child support, and by Michigan Law, you are entitied to some alimony, but the lawyer and court system have to work it out. It can be as costly as $6000-10,000 on the prvate sector. My friend just got a divorce. However, her kids are no longer minors. It takes about 8 - 12 months to finalize. You may qualify for Medicaid and food stamps. If you do not work and had been a sahm then more alimony should come your way. Good Luck and God Bless.

I've stood where you are now standing, & it's not easy. Every situation varies, in my case ex-husband was self employed, I could never prove just what he made. The FOC, closed the case after the children turned 18, with ex oweing 35,000+ we had been divorced for 17yr. the 2 girls 1yr & 2yr old when we seperated. You can file w/the FOC, & file for divorce later. If you can't hire an attorney now, get all documents as for his income yourself. Document everything, keep a folder for expences regarding the children. Best of luck to you & your children.

I am sorry this is going so badly for you and your girls. Are you in the Jackson area? If so feeding your girls will not be a problem. There is a community phone # that is staffed with paralegals and sites on the internet that will help you with the questions and preparations as you go thru the process. Even if you remain separated there is a legal status that requires your husband to help with support.

Friend of the Court is a good resources for you.

How's it going at work? are you holding up ok? Do the girls have what they need for school? Are your parents supportive?

warmly, M.

Call The Friend of the Court.

When I did it, I got a divorce. I am not sure that they will make him pay anything if you are still married. I filed for divorce and received my first support payment within 40 days, and he had to pay back support for when I had filed but we were just separated. I hope that you can get support in this situation, but I am not thinking that you can, but I am just a person, not a lawyer. You can get a divorce without a lawyer, the friend of the court does all of the custody stuff, the judge will be good with you, the problem is if he plays dirty, then you need to know what to do to defend yourself, like get references, and have mental evaluations done, and etc, that would cost the money, but my lawyer was awful, and didn't recommend these things, even though i asked for them, and i still got custody. They will see through him. Good luck, talk to your pastor, they (the church) will usually be willing to help.

Hi J.,

You actually don't want your divorce to be final until after your 10th wedding anniversary. When you've been married for 10 years you are entitled to spusal support. Unfortunately, I'm not sure there is much you can do to get money out of him until after the divorce is final and a child support amount has been ordered. I would suggest you look in the phone book for a Women's Survival Center in your area. They will have referrals for places to help you in the meantime. I know it's scary. I left my ex 9 years ago and it was really hard for us in the beginning with him gone, no support circle and no income from him. But we made it through and things are much better now. A good divorce attorney will know how to make your husbnd pay for all the expenses as mine did. Keep your head up and pray about it. You will make it through and everything will happen in God's time.

Blessings - S.

I don't know what county you're in but I know in Macomb County there are certain days that you can fill out your application for Food Stamps, Insurance... and go and wait to see a counselor. Make sure you take anything and everything the forms ask for (employment, mtg. coupon, utilities...) you can get qualified on the spot and get your benefits going within a week. Since you already filled out an application I would just fill out another one and go on the open days (get there early) and wait.
Good luck and Gods blessings.

As long as you are not living with your childrens father you are able to get support, (as long as he has a job and is not working "under the table") go see your case worker at the friend of the court right away or at least go down there and get all the paperwork you need and fill it out that will at least start all the processes & get you a court date. Also go to the Michigan.gov website when there go to the "Education & childrens services" and then to "Directory of agencies participating in education & child services portal", that will take you to a web site that you can enter your information and see what all you can recieve through assistance (if you need more help finding it let me know). Wic, foodstamps, insurance, money assistance, rent assistance, childcare assistance stuff like that. then if you are able to qualify for any of them go see to your local DHS (department of human services) office and get a case worker, most of them are there bcuz they care. Think about your children, trust me it was very hard for me to ask for help when I needed it but I did it and I'm glad I did so I knew my child was taken care of and I wasn't so stressed about all of it, now I am back on my feet and do not need it anymore its a great feeling :) I also recomend getting a jurnal and writting everything down, when men (or woman) are hurting sometimes they will do anything to get back at the person who caused it without any regards to the chilren involved so be prepared when you go to court, with things he said and did only having to do with the children. I hope this helps, good luck with everything and if you need anything more please let me know :)

Try legal aid to help with the divorce for small fee or free is my understanding.

Well perhaps your husband is hurt by the seperation. And is acting out his emotions. Not exactly mature but not completely unexpected either people who feel badly act badly. Obviously he was doing SOMETHING to help you and the kids or else you wouldn't be having money issues right now.

You need to contact the friend of the court and start custody arrangments and child support agreements.

J. ~
Unfortunately, friend of the court is who you go through for child support...and in wayne county they take their sweet time. They tend to run about 6 months behind, and if your husband fights it, and it sounds like he will, it could take longer. The only good thing is that you will get it retroactive to the date you filed. I would deffinitely get the ball rolling with them.

If you have no insurance, you can go to the health department in taylor for things like immunizations and stuff for the kids. If you've applied for medicaid, if you go to the hospital for anything, you have to be treated...medicaid will pick up back bills once you get it.

Do you rent, or own? If you rent, I would also ask the case worker for a list of places that have section 8 subsidized housing...there's quite a few downriver. get ahold of every group you can think of for help...it can't hurt to ask...salvation army, st. vincent de paul, etc. They may help with some food or things.

Do you talk to anyone in his family? Maybe let them know how he's treating you and the kids, they may be a big influence on him to do the right thing.

good luck!
D.

Not to sound rude or anything....but apparently he was doing more for you and your kids than you gave him credit for.... unless of course you were having financial problems with him too. If you want to be a single mom - it is time to step up to the plate and be one... on your own! You asked for it - now you have it. Sorry, but reality isn't always as rosy as we imagine it will be and the grass on the other side is often dry and burned... I was a single mom for 10+ yrs - but I did it with a plan, not on a whim. My children never went without and I did NOT depend on a man. Depend on yourself and get it together - don't wait for the State and a hand-out, but rather be yourself the person you and your kids depend on. It is too late to go back and plan right now - so your only choice is to gather yourself and move on - not stay still.

I wish you and the kids the best.

In my experience, Friend of the Court (FOC) is a joke! Unfortunately, that is the only way you'll get child support. Make an appt and bring proof that he is not living there any more.

you should contact friend of the court, and possibly a lawyer to talk about your options. I will say, just because there is an order, doesn't mean he will pay. If he is working, they will take it from his paycheck, IF they set it up that way. But not all of them state they will take from the paycheck.

And if he isn't working, or keeps switching jobs, and they can't get the money from him, you won't get the money. So you should really plan on not having the money from him for a while.

If you think there is a chance you can save your marriage, I would suggest going to couseling, and seeing if you and him can work through some of the problems.

check with CAA, churches in your area, st vincents if you live near detroit and in many areas now call 411 and they will refer you to help....and yes it most probably will take 45 days for DHS to decide i have been there.....so check with other places and explain and someone should be able to help you.

feel free to email me....i am a single mom also and know how hard it is ____@____.com...us single parent can support each other if not monatarily but emotional support

M.

Hi J. M, My name is K. and I have been where you are now. I just want to encourage you in where you are right now. It is very scary and frightening for sure. The best thing I did was run to Jesus. I rededicated my life to him
and became a Born Again Believer. I truly felt his presence and love at this difficult time. I know for a fact that when God says in Philipians 4:19 that he will
supply all my needs acording to his riches and glory, that
is exactly what he will do. "Call upon Him in times of trouble" "Call unto me and I will show you great and hidden things you know not." Jeriamah 33:3, If you have a church, please share your circumstances and need of help.
They will help you. Please go to church and learn of Jesus
Your children need his love, friendship, direction,
and guidence as well as you. I will be praying for you and
your husband as well. Remember, prayer changes things.
There is a great movie out that you can get at the Christian Bookstore, It is called "Fireproof" Watch it, please and ask your husband to watch it too. I pray
God will use it to change your lives. God Bless, K.

The MI child insurance will pay any bills going back three months from when you apply. I just went through this with my grandson so I know that for sure. Good luck to you and if you like venison let me know and I will help you out with some meat.

You will have to go to the court and file a motion of temporary child support until you have an actual divorce. Hire a lawyer...if your husband has a job, they may make him pay your fees. You will probably need to get a job if you don't already have one. As someone who has gone through this...all that is my best advice. Wait until your ten year anniversary, then he has to pay spousal support. You can afford to take care of them on your own, but you need to act NOW and get this stuff done. Good luck to you!