Help for a down and Out Mom

Hi L.,
I think it's awesome that you are trying to help your friend during this difficult situation. I think Wolfgang made a good point, she SHOULD file for divorce as soon as possible. BUT...having been a single mom who kept taking my ex back I know that the heart strings are sometimes hard to cut in situations like this. What she can do is file for legal seperation. In this case she will be able to receive temporary assistance from the government (i.e Food Stamps, TANF & Medicaid). She can get information on all of those online here:
http://www.hhsc.state.tx.us/programs/TexasWorks/foodstamp...
http://www.hhsc.state.tx.us/programs/TexasWorks/TANF-FAQ....
http://www.hhsc.state.tx.us/Medicaid/index.html

I don't know where she lives but if she is a resident of North Houston have her check into Northwest Assistance Ministries (NAM) located on FM 1960 in Houston (www.namonline.org). If she can prove loss of income in the last 30-60 she can receive a grant to help her for 3 months with rent and electricity. They will pay all of her rent the first month, half the next and a third the last month. They will give her a "cap" on the electricity they are willing to pay for the 3 months if she has disconnect notices. They can also provide her with ALOT of groceries to help get her through. There is also a website she can go to where she can get a lot of food for a very low price. (www.angelfoodministries.com). There are no income requirements or limitations on getting service with them. It's kind of on the honor system. She will prepay for a set "menu" of food ($25) by a certain date and then go on another day to pick it up. There is enough food for a months worth of meals. And good stuff too. She can check out the menu and pick-up locations by state on that website. It's an awesome resource for people who are unable to qualify for other assistance.
I do hope that this information helps. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or if I can be of more help. I've participated in all of these programs at one point or another and would be more than happy to explain further.
Blessings!
-b

2 moms found this helpful

Dear L.:
I cannot help with your particular question, but I'd like to point out that she should file for divorce ASAP. No matter what, a husband who ruins the foundation of a family (livelihood) is not good by any definition, even if he has the bluest eyes and the sweetest smile. My point is that whatever debt he incurs (still) will be 50% hers, and don't think it stops as you hit the zero mark. Plus, addictions don't go away. He'll do it again.

If she has any doubts about what I said, just have her visualize how the hard-earned college tuition (down the road) is being confiscated to pay for a bad poker hand or an unlucky roll of a dice. She has an obligation to her kids - if not college, I can still think of hundreds of better uses of her income than her husband's gambling debt settlement.

She has to act fast, because even the cheapest lawyer wants some money. Ironically, once you are TOO indebted, you cannot pay for a divorce and you remain married/liable. Damage control is all about preventing FURTHER damage before she can get out of the hole.

I filed mine within two weeks of similarly bad news, and two months later she used $21,000 on a new card in my name that I did not even know of. Since I already filed, I was not liable. Had I waited a little longer, I would have been...

I wish her luck,
W.

1 mom found this helpful

My sister was able to get food stamps while she was still legally married, she just had to let them know that her and her husband were separated and she was raising her kid on her own income.

Sh should definately go to DHS office ASAP, before even thinking about the divorce. There is a lot they can do even if you are still married. I think she could get food stamps and I know she can get a child support order even if married. I have one and we are still married. But she has to know where he works. And it takes many months to actually see a check.
DHS is on Frontage Road right behind Toys r us and Barnes and Noble and Office max, in Fay. Good luck.

well here in fort smith there are several great places. The Pregnancy Help Center helps with everything. we also have the Heart to Heart pregnancy center. call dhs and tell them of her situation. she should get help. I believe they call it spousal abandonment. I have 1 daughter who is almost 7 months old.are you in this area. send me a message and I'll let you know of 3 more places

I wish I knew where you guys were because if she were comfertible with it I would babysit for her for free. From the way it sounds she doesn't want a divorce? But maybe that would be best right now so she can take advantage of all help the government offers. I think if she were to go to DHS they could help with food stamps and childsupport even if they arn't divorced and TANIF. TANIF is money they put on a card for her to use anyway she needs it to.And they would help with her going back to school and getting a better education to help support the kids. and if she does that they pay for child care.
I don't know how much I've helped but that story tuggs at my heart because I've been there.
C.

Tell her to go to DHS anyway, they will help. She may need to bring a letter from her soon to be stating that he does not reside in the home but they will tell her what she is going to need when she goes.