Half Siblings Intro

It will all depend on if the girlfriend and the daddy are going to be living together. If this is the living arrangements then just tell them that daddy has a girlfriend and they will have a baby, and they will have a baby sister or brother. Then if they have questions let them ask. Please don't ignore the fact that your children will be having a sister or a brother out there. It is not the childrens fault or your fault that this had happened. Just make sure you and your ex-husband are on the same level of communication with the children. If their dad and the girlfriend are not going to be together and the children will be seeing their dad then let dad do so explaining to his children. Just make sure you are the safety net that the kids can fall back on and feel safe. They have been through to much as it is. Just let them know that you love them and none of this is their fault.

When they get older they will start to ask more and more questions. I hate to say this and it will be very hard because you got hurt also. Please don't talk horrible about their dad. Yes he hurt you and hurt the children but let the kids find out if he is a bad person.

My parents were married for more than 20 years and then they divorced. My dad talks horribly about my mom and to this day it hurts badly!! And I am 28 I don't think that I could handle the bad talk at the ages of 6, 8, or even older.

I wish you and your children the best!! You never know you might be able to spend time with the new baby and fall in love with them. I understand that you don't like how the baby came about. My brother-in-law done the same thing and his ex-wife (I still consider her part of the family) goes and picks up the daughter that he had while cheating on her. BIL and EXSIL have 3 children of their own. The children were young when this happened and they were upset with their daddy. But they were not upset with the baby. Yes they were upset with the new baby's mother, because she is the reason that split their family up.

Just take one day at a time. And make sure your children know that they have a Safe and Loving home! I am sure they know that!! Good luck and let us know how things go.

Will this new baby and the girlfriend be living with your ex-husband? If so, then your EX-HUSBAND should do the explaining, not necessarily you.

If the baby is not going to be around the kids--then there is no reason to introduce this new part into their lives. Like you said, they are just getting used to the divorce and living separately from their father. As for the paternity test, I'm not sure why he should have one. Just take his word for it that it's his kid and wash your hands of it. Talk to your children when they are a little older.

First of all, I am sorry to hear about your troubles. I was also a single mom for a while and it can be hard, yet rewarding.
My personal opinion is that you shouldnt request the paternity test. He made this mess, let him be the one to deal with whatever it may bring. As far as the children go, they can be very resilient. My son went through a lot with his father, me and the people we dated, the other children they had, etc. He is 11 years old now and is very happy and well adjusted.
The other advice I will offer is just be prepared to answer their questions. I wouldnt sit them down and make a big production of this situation. It may feel more traumatic that way.
I wish you and your children the best!
God Bless!

Something that comes to mind when I read this... if they are not married and she requests child support, it is an Indiana Law that a paternity test is done... the parent have no say, the test has to be done. (may be a way for you all to really know the truth)
I have an 11 yr that was tested but because I wanted no one questioning me about "if" and an 8yo that had to have the test done PERIOD although neither of us wanted to.

If the kids are going to hear about the baby, or meet the baby, I think you should give them a simple explanation now, so they get the facts from you. Keep them in the loop so there are no surprises later.

After that, wait to see if a paternity test is done or if your ex takes on the father role with this new baby.

If he has a relationship with the baby, it's my personal belief that your kids should also have a sibling relationship. But that's only my two cents because family is important to me and I put a lot of effort into my daughter's relationship with her two half-siblings.

As for the explanation - As calmly as you can, explain their dad chose to have a baby with another woman. He doesn't love them any less and is still their dad. You can even be honest that this new situation is h*** o* all of you, but you'll get through it and having a baby brother/sister might be fun.