Grandparents Custody

Updated on October 31, 2006
B.W. asks from Rural Retreat, VA
6 answers

After my husband and I both worked night shift for a long time, my in-laws decided to try and take custody of my two children. Our home is fine. There are no problems through social services. We don't drink or do drugs. However, a local judge tends to want to keep awarding joint legal, physical, and primary custody to us and my in-laws. Since this has happened, I have had two nervous breakdowns. There have been some behavior concerns with the children. My kids tell me they don't want to be with them. The way the court has set it up, they have my kids when they get out of school on Monday afternoon until 3:30 pm on Friday. When my husband and I take them to school, my mother-in-law tends to go to the school and take the clothes off of them that we put on them and change them into something she bought for them. She will not let them wear character clothing and my oldest child is big into the Bratz phase. The grandmother will not even let the child talk about the Bratz movies she watches when she is with me because the gm says "Bratz are not suitable." However, she lets my 5 and 7 year old watch "My Name Is Earl." While in court, she has called me every name in the book from "slut" to "trash." My husband has broken all ties with them. It is putting a strain on us. I have a good lawyer who is in the process of filing more papers to serve on her. I would like to know if anyone has any more advice for me that a lawyer cannot give me.

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So What Happened?

I have quit a job after the court proceedings. Both my kids are in elementary school and I am in college while they are in school. We made some changes to our finances, such as doing a voluntary repossession on a car to be rid of a car payment and I take public transportation to and from school. My husband does have a very good job. The GM is refusing to give us the documentation where she had them on her health insurance which the insurance my husband has on his job needs proof of previous coverage. She has told my husband that she has them on medicaid and the following week she says she has them on Champus (military insurance).

More Answers

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B.R.

answers from Savannah on

please email me privatly ____@____.com

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M.L.

answers from Johnson City on

Bless your hearts... I know it must be h*** o* all of you. I hope every thing works out for you all.. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys. Good luck with every thing.

M.

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L.W.

answers from Biloxi on

You need to start taking your classes at home on computer and quit work. Then you and your husband will be able to get the grandparents out of the picture as far as the court is concerned. If not, you may lose more than the kids. That kind of stress puts a lot of pressure on the marriage as well. Moving to another state would help if you can manage that. Good luck and we'll be praying for you. LW

C.C.

answers from Nashville on

Is there any way you could quit your job and stay home? I know that would be hard to do financially, but it would be worth it in the long run for your kids--even if that means moving to a less-expensive home or apartment and cutting any extra expenses that you have. I would also try to move to another state if possible. I am so sorry that you have such selfish in-laws. It's a shame they are putting their grandchildren through all that. Take care.

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J.J.

answers from Athens on

Oh wow i'm so sorry to hear your having such a hard time. I have a grandmother like that kind of my first son lived with her from the time he was one till just recently and although I never lost custody i've always been afraid she'd try to take it. He's with me now thankfully but she still thinks she know whats best for him and goes against my wishes alot. Just keep at the legal side of it eventually you'll get a judge that'll do the right thing and tell them to butt out. I know most people hate dealing with DFCS but maybe they could help you by doing some evals and some psych evals on the kids so they can have a dr say it's not good for them to go with the gm. Just don't give up hope and if u ever need to vent or just talk feel free to message or Im me it's ____@____.com (the im's jpjacobs80 too) GOOD LUCK!!!

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K.B.

answers from Hattiesburg on

Wow.. I don't have any advice I just wanted to give you my support. I would seriously consider looking for another job. If that is the reason the inlaws have joint custody I would look for something else. The inlaws are over stepping their boundaries. I am sorry you are going thru this. I hope things get better soon.

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