My daughter is will be 4 in May. She loves her grandpa on her dads side of the family so I let her go over there pretty regularly. When ever she comes back from his house she is so hard to handle. Screams when she doesnt get her way, hits her big brother (8 1/2), back talks, and other stuff. He doesnt make her mind and thinks its funny. He also has 3 stepdaughters 6-13 yrs old and they dont mind either. I've tried to talk to him and his wife but it hasnt worked. I dont want to stop her from going over there because I dont have many babysitters and she loves her Papaw Jay. What can I do to get control over my child again??
Simple solution. Don't let her go over there without you! I limit my kids time in certain places or do not let them go without me according to the circumstances. I don't put up with screaming, fits, or hitting for any reason. He is just setting her up for problems- as well as his own kids.
Hard situation but, I would limit her visitations over there. Try to hire a sitter or try a local church. Good luck.
J.
www.deliveringonthepromise.com/40420383
I have had the same problem only with the Great Grandma who raised my husband and helps out a whole lot with my husbands other kids that live near her. I finally had to tell her that he would not be able to come over without me or his father and when we are there he knows and I let her know as well that we (me and my husband) are the boss. No matter what Nanny or PeePaw says. It has taken some getting used to but he is slowly getting to where he acts better when we are over there and it doesn't completely undue all that I have worked on at my house. You must be firm with all who are involved. And over the Easter holiday when Nanny was at our house she told me how proud she was of me. That no one else can make him mind. I took this as a complimant. And nicely pointed out that she doesn't want her great grandchildren to be as spoiled as her grandson is. And she agreed with that.
My fatherin law and mother in law have been separated for years and he has married since then and had 2 more children. He thinks that my husband and I are too strict about how we raise our son but he knows if he doesnt respect our wishes then he will not see his only grandson. Now because of issues we have had with leaving our older children in other family members care, we do not let our son visit anyone without one of us there. Because we have different views on most things concerning parenting we just keep it from being an issue by always watching our own child. Now I understand that grandpa might be a convenient babysitter but if can not respect your wishes as far as your child goes then it may be time to find someone else to sit for you that will have your child follow your rules. Now we all know that most grandparents are apt to spoil their grandchildren and thats fine as long as they are not undermining your authority. And like one of the other responders mentioned if grandpa doesnt listen to you maybe he will listen to his son. Our maybe Dad might need to help with the cost of finding a better sitter.
Good luck
I believe your daughter is old enough to understand that her behavior is not right and I think you should talk to the grandparents again and explain that they're underminding your authority. Then I would be VERY strict with her and have a no tolerance rule with her about her behavior. The main key is to get the grandparents to respect your rules and enorce them as well. Consistency is the key!
I am so sorry that I dont have an answer but I do have the same problem. Please let me know if you get any good suggestions.
I had the same problem at first when my children would go see there grandparents on weekends. They would come home not minding back talking and tryin to get away with what they got away with there. After I sat them down and talked to them( many of times) and after many of groundings. Butt woopings, they learned here and there are two diffrent places. They can do what there grandparents allow them to do there. But home they know the rules and if they dont follow and dont mind then the trips to grandparents would become nothing. After a weekend or two of the grandparents not getting the kids (cause the kids were grounded) the grandparents started to lay down some law at there house. But it takes repetive action to get it through. When the grandparents would call and ask to get them I would let them know why there grounded. Like I said they got the hint as well. These are the ex-grandparents. So was real delecate with the situation. Good luck and dont give up. Your house your rules.
Have you seen Little Miss Sunshine? A grandpa is a special person and I know it must be hard. My father gets in my way too and we often bump heads. But I'm clear with my children. Thye can act a certain way if they are with their grandma, grandpa or aunt but it's not going to fly with me. I have told my son no to you are not going to act this way and he is preety good in following thru.
My advice to you would to be sit down with out the children and explain to your FIL and MIL that this behovior is not acceptable and if it continues then you are going to have to reevualate the situation. What about talking to your EX and telling him you know the children love his father but can he please talk to him about thier behavior and discussing the punishments for the behavior. Make a list of what they should be doing or not doing. Make a schedule for them to go by.
Make sure they aren't getting too much caffine and sugar.
Hope this helps and Good Luck
