Grandmother That Doesn't Want to Do with My Two Kids

Everyone grieves differently. but it sounds like it's been a few years and that may indicate something deeper than grief.

could it possibly be a misunderstanding and she's upset with you? sometimes during the grieving process little things other do during that time, since we can be very emotional at this time, little things can get blown into bigger things. that at any other time wouldn't be a big deal.

either way, i would say call her till she talks to you about this. or try to get a relative(her sister/brother or you sister/brother) to also call and/or go see her. i would keep trying. write a letter if you have to expressing your concerns . and if she still doesn't respond,,,, i agree with the other post. could be depression and she may need to seek a therapist. sometimes there is a stigma with therapy, especially for different generations.
maybe if you talk to enough people in the family-that she's also not talking to- they will come together with you to help her move forward.
good luck... email if you need to talk...
my mom passed away 15 years ago when i was 23 (she was 44).. my dad still to this day hasn't dated. and jokes that my mom haunts him..lol lol i hope he's joking anyway..lol
God Bless
T.

It sounds as if your mother might be suffering from depression. I would encourage her to speak to a doctor. If your mother has some friends or relatives that she stays in contact with, see if they can get her to a doctor to be evaluated for depression. Good luck to you!

I really think that you should talk to your mom!! Maybe she needs to talk to someone about what is going on. She is losing precious time with your children and that is not only huring her, but it will really hurt your children...
I have a grand mother that did the same thing. But she would pick and choose when she wanted to be a grandma..And she would pick and choose her favorites. I was the oldes of the grandkids so I was really out of it, but I saw how much it affected my cousins. Eventually your kids won't want anything to do with her and about that time she is going to want to be a grandma!! Talk to her and tell her how you are feeling. Even if you start with sending a letter...she will read it!!
Good Luck!!

I am so sorry that you lost your father. Did this happen recently? If so, maybe your mom just needs some time to deal with it in her own way and mourn. It probably just hurts her to see them because deep down your kids probably make her soooooooooooooo happy inside, and she feels guilty about being happy after losing her husband. Hopefully she comes around soon. I don't know how old your kids are - maybe they could color her a picture and you could mail it? Or maybe you could take a picture of your kids and print it at Walmart with a cute caption on it saying something like, "We love and miss you Grandma". Just a couple ideas ~ you will think of something to reconnect them ~ you know her the best. :)

God Bless.

I lost my father almost 2 years ago. My children are both young and still have grandma. She hasn't been the same since dad died. As you would expect! This was her mate..her soulmate of 40 years. She is very depressed. So they put her on the miracle depression meds that everyone suggests. Guess what didn't make a dent of a difference. You can't even tell. I know she takes them religously and it still didn't make a difference. Every time I see her she still cry's and says she wants to die. Which absolutely kills me and my children are getting older and I don't want them to hear her say this. Cause I know how it hurts me. She is very slowly seeming to accept my father is gone and is seeming to try and move on as best she can. I guess when i get upset about anything to do with this I try and imagine my life without my husband and I let it all go and I go and comfort her. Because for as much as you and your children are hurting...I guarentee she is more.

Hi S. M.
SHAME ON YOUR MOTHER!!!! I have recently lost a grandmother, mother and brother, I am only 46 years old and have 10 grandchildren and one on the way. I see my grandchildren daily. Life is too short to not spend it with family. I would suggest finding a retirement home and visiting with your children. I know our elders would love your children in their lives. Good luck and let me know how it turns out.
Loving Granny
D.

I would say its her loss not yours or your childerens. I don't know how old the kids are but I would guess eventually they will just except time with grandma just isn't going to happen. I'm so sorry this has happened.

Are you the only child? If not and she is doing this with the others then you need to do something called "tough love". If you are the only child she is doing this too then there is something there that needs to be discussed. If you are an only child then the same still applies, there is either depression or something boiling beneath the surface.

There are favorites amongst the grandchildren in my family. The kids feel it and even though we try and cover it up as much as possible they still see it. Eventually Grandma/Grandpa will feel the sting when they get old enough to speak their minds. I just try and remind them that it is not their fault nor their cousins' faults for the special attention.

That must be so hard for you and your kids. From the little bit you described it sounds like your mother is suffering from depression. I would encourage her to get help TODAY. There are lots of free depression clinics all over the US, if money is an issue. If she won't go willingly I would suggest you talk to a psychiatrist TODAY about an intervention with all the family members. If it is depression, with the right meds she could be back to her old self and on her way through the greiving process and spending time with you and her grandkids again within 6 weeks. Good luck!

Give her a little time. She's probably having a really hard time accepting your father's death.
She could be depressed. She may not be singling you out. She may have dropped all her friends and family. Have you tried to set up a play date or brought her a meal or something.
Other than that I don't know how to help you. I hope she feels better soon. Good luck!!!