Ok, I don't know where you got the idea that any of us are "perfect" moms. We all go nuts from time to time and have the same gripes that you do. That is why we connect here. What do you mean when you say they are being "mean" to you? You are the parent, and if they are truly being mean by doing things such as hitting you, biting you, etc., then you have to put a stop to it. It will most likely require your husband to step in at the moment it is happening and use his deep, stern voice when he tells them not to hit HIS WIFE. I'm not sure why, but when it is put that way instead of "Don't hit your mother," it is more effective. I think it could be that your husband letting the kids know that you are HIS, gets it out of the kids mind that you are THEIRS and they can do whatever they want to you. We all get frustrated at our husbands and kids, and we are not all living in complete mothering bliss. Unless you call breaking up fights, struggling to get the kids dressed every day, making sure they've eaten, brushed their teeth, making sure they do their homework, giving them a bath, making sure they eat again, brush their teeth again, get PJs on, breaking up yet another argument, and getting laundry done, dishes done and toilets cleaned, mothering bliss. But, that's what we signed up for, so we need to make the BEST of it. For example, the other night when my husband came home, I was frazzled from doing most of what was on my previous list, the kids were arguing over toys, plus I had to wrap all the Christmas presents to send to my folks. I was not in a real great mood. All it took to get me back to my sweet self was to hug my kids and my husband. Then my husband went a grabbed a beer for himself and me. I'm not a wine drinker, so a beer was good to calm my nerves. If you're an alcoholic, I don't suggest you do that. What I'm saying is, your husband has to be on your side when you are having a tough time with the kids or whatever it is, and vice versa. If you notice your husband is in a mood, don't make it worse by nagging him or seeing if you can be in a worse mood than him. Grab him a beer, hug him tight, or do something nice for him to break the tension. When both parents are happy and on the same side, it makes it easier to handle the day to day stuff, like breaking up arguments. You both have to be in agreement with how the kids are disciplined too, or it won't work when you are home with the kids alone. You can't be a weak mom. If the kids see you are weak and you don't follow through with what you say, they will take over the household when Dad isn't home. They are still young enough for you to get a handle on this. Be consistent, and mean what you say. Don't tell the kids they better stop doing whatever it is without a consequence if they don't. Separate them when they are getting out of control with each other. You have to teach them how to treat each other so that they will not become bullies to other children. Involve your husband as much as possible when you need to discipline or get them to stop fighting. If they see you dealing with them together (you and your husband) they will learn that you mean business, and you will not be disrespected. After a while it becomes second nature for your husband to speak up when chaos is going on. Just last night, I told my 6 yr old boy that we needed to get his homework done and then he would be getting in the bath. My husband was standing in the kitchen with us at the time and my sweet little boy said, "No." My husband turned around and asked, "What did you say?" Our son decided he didn't want to go down that path, so he went and got his homework, then had a bath after his Dad made him apologize for being disrespectful to me. I actually almost saw a glow over my husband's head. Being a wife and a mother takes hard work, and you have to keep it up daily, or it falls apart.
