Gel In, Gel Out Policy

I absolutely don't think it's rude at all to request guests of your home to follow your rules for sanitizing. BUT...

Have you considered that the sanitizing isn't very helpful? You may want to consider rethinking your ideas on disinfecting. It's clear that despite your attention to disinfecting and sanitizing, illness was not prevented. Too much disinfecting and excessive sanitizing could prevent development of a robust immune system rather than preventing illness. Our bodies need regular exposure to common germs to build a natural resistance. My children have gotten less sick since I let go of the 'gel' and the 'wipes'. Just something to think about. Of course, disregard all that if anyone in your family has a compromised immune system and is, therefore, more susceptible to illness than average.

No, honey -- of course it's not rude --- but it is different '''from the way we used to do things '' ( so is sunscreen and ----- tons of stuff. Since your m i l is likely my generation--- try saying''' I'm sorry it seems odd- but my pediatrician assures me it's what he wants me to do --- I'm just following medical advice--''' -- or some such thing -- a lot of us ''' more than 50s ''' accept ''the authority'' more than we should- but in this case it might settle the question.

Blessings - J.- aka - Old Mom

Not rude, its your home, your rules. I personally would do the same if my child had been sick like that!

Just as pregnant women are "amazing and perfect," a normal immune system is also amazing and perfect. It actually operates best when challenged by the normal pathogens in our environment. Kids who get sick often in their first few years are the norm, and the good news is that their systems are able to mount quick and effective defenses against common infections by the time they enter school.

Having said that, there is evidence that the swine flu hits some people harder than the usual yearly strains, so I would want to take precautions against my kids (or myself) catching it, too.

I would ask people not to come over if they suspect they are sick UNTIL a couple of weeks after my children were vaccinated (which will give them the same immune response as having been ill with that virus). But be aware that if you don't get them vaccinated, they will stay susceptible to the virus if it hangs around for a year or two. You can't protect them forever from every possible source of infection, so immunization is usually a good idea.

As for the gel, that is rightfully your call. A good way to enforce an awkward rule for guests is to just take the responsibility for how you *feel* about it. Say something like, "I am *genuinely anxious* about my kids getting this season's flu, or passing illness on to others. So will you be so kind as to use this gel? I know it's inconvenient, but *I would feel more relaxed* during your visit."

Guests might argue with your science or your rules, but how can they argue with your *FEELINGS*?

BTW, there's lots of scientific evidence that people who consume or produce lots of vitamin D have stronger immune systems. Our skin makes vit.D when we spend time in the sun. During winter months, it's helpful to take large doses as supplements. A minimum of 400 I.U. daily is good, and using a natural vitamin D3 is best. (Some nutritionally-oriented doctors recommend up to 1000 I.U. daily for children, but it can be toxic over time to take too much, especially if you take D2, so I would seek medical advice on that.)

You always ask people to wash their hands before holding an infant. This is in a similar vein.
Do consider Gina's advice about sanitizing. It' probably not your home that is the problem, but everyplace else.
My Ped recommends wiping the handles/basket at the stores (with disf. wipes), she says they truly are the most common place to pick something up.
As always, hand washing of the little bit and mama regularly (before meals, after play, potty, etc) is the best way to control the spread of germs.

I'm sorry he has been so sick, it is agonizing for the mama!

i have everyone that comes in my home wash their hands & i have hand sanitizer out.....this is my home & my wishes.....who cares what your mil thinks

I don't think it's rude, but I do agree that an OVERLY sanitary environment can actually make people MORE vulnerable to getting sick -- because the body never develops antibodies/immunity through exposure to germs. That's what I have read. Wiping down all toys and surfaces seems way excessive to me -- perhaps you are or are becoming a germaphobe? With an irrational fear of germs? I mean, I know getting sick is scary and inconvenient, but it also is very "normal" for children to get colds -- and the research indicates that this contributes to their being healthier as adults. So you might not want to make it your LIFE'S GOAL to prevent them from getting sick.

I will say that even I, who am VERY laid back when it comes to cleanliness, have instituted a new policy where my kids have to wash their hands when they come home from school. Because I think they do pick up a lot there. Other than that, we really don't bother with it much. My son, 10, has gone years without getting sick, and then it's so ridiculously mild. My daughter, 6 gets sick more often, every few months. I think some people are just more vulnerable.

What I think is more tacky? Is making people take their shoes off. I think this shows you care more about your floors than the person visiting.

Hi E.,

If it's something you feel strongly about just take a note from Dr. Sears and say your Dr. recommended/requires it. Typically if it's a Dr. request and not your request nobody will think twice about it. If anyone does question it just tell them the truth. Your son has been sick many times over the last month and you cannot be "all you can be" for all 3 kids when one is constantly getting sick. How do you argue with that? And who really would?

It's your house and your rules if they don't like it they don't have to come over. That sounds a bit harsh but it's the truth.

Good luck!
T.

E.-

Good luck with this!!! A "friend" came over the other day announcing she "Has Swine Flu". Later I asked her not to come over in the future if she’s sick, I’m currently working about 70 hours a week between a full time job and starting my own business. On top of that, we have a major project going on which I cannot miss work.

She not only because offended I’d ask, but then tried to tell me I need to understand SHE works retail and SHE will be getting sick often this year.

I think it’s perfectly acceptable for you to request people either not to come over OR to use sanitizer when they enter the house.

FYI- The news reports I’ve heard say the Swine Flue hits young children VERY HARD. Use that if necessary

My opinion is keeping your children and family healthy is more important than etiquette.

Good Luck-

R. Magby

I do not think it is rude. If you have a child with a compromised immune system people can choose to follow your rules or not come over.

Also taking off shoes is not rude. It is not about the floors. It is about where shoes have been. Public bathrooms? parking lots?
I do not want my daughter crawling around there so why would I want that in my house! (FYI- my grandma keeps on her shoes)

Good luck!