31 answers

Friends Brother Died, Need Ideas

My best friends 36 yr old brother died recently and I would like to get her something to remember him, but don't know what. I thought about a small bonsai tree, but am having trouble locating one. Any suggestions or ideas are appreciated.

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Featured Answers

There is a catalog that has an ornament that is very fitting for these situations. The Ornament is called Merry Christmas from Heaven. You can get it in either Pewter or goldstone. The Catalog is Terry's village. If you go to www.terrysvillage.com I have an old catalog but the number Pewter (FX-95/2712) Goldston (FX-95/3308) I hope this work or you find something that will.

D.- SAHM mother of two. I also do chilcare in my home and am an Independent Stampin' UP! Demonstrator

Hi P.,

I don't know the name of the store, but there was a shop in Royal Oak that was just Bonsai trees. I'm sorry, I don't remember the name of it, but this may get you started in the right direction. I think it was near 12 Mile Rd. ( on one of those streets like Main, Rochester, Washington or Crooks ) I just remember being in front of it sitting at a red light. East side of the street.

Maybe someone else reading this knows who I am thinking of, and where they are exactly.

Good luck,


Try this link: http://ww4.1800flowers.com/dataset.do?dataset=10291&c...

Or, go to www.1800flowers.com and click Plants, then Bonsai. They have a nice selection, and they are reliable! I use them often.

More Answers

Hi P.,

I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's brother's death. Having dealt with the death of my own brother 12 years ago, I can say that if you personally knew him, it may be helpful to your friend to share stories that you have of him or funny memories of him. If you have any pictures or video of him at all, I would copy those and give to her. That meant so much to me. My husband and children never knew my brother (he passed away before I met my husband), so whenever someone can share a story of my brother, I think it helps my husband and kids get to know him even more.

Also, ask your friend to share her memories of her brother. It really does help to talk about it. Many people don't know what to say, but hearing happy stories and memories may be what she needs right now.

Good luck.
C. S.

1 mom found this helpful

I'm so sorry for your, and your friend's loss...
Last summer, my dad passed away, and my friend did the most thoughtful thing ever!
Instead of sending a flower arrangement or plant to the service, she called and asked if my dad had a favorite flower. It happened to be tulips. Red & yellow ones to be exact.
She bought some bulbs, and helped me plant them this fall. Now everytime I look out my window, I have a sweet reminder of my dad, and my friends thoughtfulness...

1 mom found this helpful

My advice is DO NOT get a bonsai tree. My mother gave me one for my wedding present (we had a tree theme). It was beautiful! and then it died. I learned shortly thereafter that most new bonsai owners suffer the death of the first few attempts. They are just extremely tricky to keep. I have often laughed about the dead tree as a symbol of my (really very happy) marriage. Your friend may be reminded of death, helplessness and all the other negative things she is going through as part of her grief if she ends up with a (likely) dead little tree. Sorry.

1 mom found this helpful

My friend's husband passed away and I think being there for her is the best thing to do.I invite her out to lunch just the girls or we both have young girls so we make play dates. Just make sure to keep her busy.Always include her in your places. We talk every day and this just happen a week before Christmas. I just let her know she can call anytime. Just remember being her friend is all she really needs.


SOrry to hear about your friends loss. Are bonsai trees hard to take care of? If so you could do a peace lily or a rose bush.

S. H

When our daughter and niece died, we had friends plant all kinds of trees in our back yard. We have white pines, blue spruce and even a maple tree which our youngest daughter has both helped plant and nurture to remind her of her sissy and her cousin. Our family loves the remembrances.

I would love to have bonsai trees... but I'm not a diligent gardener, so I'd only have it for a very short time. They require an enormous amount of care. Even if you can find one, make sure your friend will not feel oppressed by the work involved in keeping it alive. I think of live plants the same as pets -- they're hard to give as gifts.

Did you know her brother well? What do you think of when you think of him? A memento of something that reminds you of him would be a lovely gift for his sister, particularly if you explain it when you give it. If he was into bonsai, for instance, a small framed print of a bonsai (painted, photo, whatever) would make a nice gift... as would a framed snapshot of him from your collection, or a small notebook with a story about him written in it. A small carved-stone, wood and stone or crystal bonsai tree would be apt, and wouldn't require any care.

when my brother passed away by husband's side of the family got me a statue of a brother and sister by Isabell Bloom. I sat it outside in our garden and see it everyday. It's a reminder to me of how much my brother loved and was loved and how he lived his life. It's one of my favorite possessions.
Anything you do will be appreciated, even just a card and phone call to let her know you care.

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