31 answers

Friends Brother Died, Need Ideas

My best friends 36 yr old brother died recently and I would like to get her something to remember him, but don't know what. I thought about a small bonsai tree, but am having trouble locating one. Any suggestions or ideas are appreciated.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

There is a catalog that has an ornament that is very fitting for these situations. The Ornament is called Merry Christmas from Heaven. You can get it in either Pewter or goldstone. The Catalog is Terry's village. If you go to www.terrysvillage.com I have an old catalog but the number Pewter (FX-95/2712) Goldston (FX-95/3308) I hope this work or you find something that will.

D.- SAHM mother of two. I also do chilcare in my home and am an Independent Stampin' UP! Demonstrator

Hi P.,

I don't know the name of the store, but there was a shop in Royal Oak that was just Bonsai trees. I'm sorry, I don't remember the name of it, but this may get you started in the right direction. I think it was near 12 Mile Rd. ( on one of those streets like Main, Rochester, Washington or Crooks ) I just remember being in front of it sitting at a red light. East side of the street.

Maybe someone else reading this knows who I am thinking of, and where they are exactly.

Good luck,

C.

Try this link: http://ww4.1800flowers.com/dataset.do?dataset=10291&c...

Or, go to www.1800flowers.com and click Plants, then Bonsai. They have a nice selection, and they are reliable! I use them often.

More Answers

Hi P.,

I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's brother's death. Having dealt with the death of my own brother 12 years ago, I can say that if you personally knew him, it may be helpful to your friend to share stories that you have of him or funny memories of him. If you have any pictures or video of him at all, I would copy those and give to her. That meant so much to me. My husband and children never knew my brother (he passed away before I met my husband), so whenever someone can share a story of my brother, I think it helps my husband and kids get to know him even more.

Also, ask your friend to share her memories of her brother. It really does help to talk about it. Many people don't know what to say, but hearing happy stories and memories may be what she needs right now.

Good luck.
C. S.

1 mom found this helpful

I'm so sorry for your, and your friend's loss...
Last summer, my dad passed away, and my friend did the most thoughtful thing ever!
Instead of sending a flower arrangement or plant to the service, she called and asked if my dad had a favorite flower. It happened to be tulips. Red & yellow ones to be exact.
She bought some bulbs, and helped me plant them this fall. Now everytime I look out my window, I have a sweet reminder of my dad, and my friends thoughtfulness...

1 mom found this helpful

My advice is DO NOT get a bonsai tree. My mother gave me one for my wedding present (we had a tree theme). It was beautiful! and then it died. I learned shortly thereafter that most new bonsai owners suffer the death of the first few attempts. They are just extremely tricky to keep. I have often laughed about the dead tree as a symbol of my (really very happy) marriage. Your friend may be reminded of death, helplessness and all the other negative things she is going through as part of her grief if she ends up with a (likely) dead little tree. Sorry.

1 mom found this helpful

My friend's husband passed away and I think being there for her is the best thing to do.I invite her out to lunch just the girls or we both have young girls so we make play dates. Just make sure to keep her busy.Always include her in your places. We talk every day and this just happen a week before Christmas. I just let her know she can call anytime. Just remember being her friend is all she really needs.

P.,

SOrry to hear about your friends loss. Are bonsai trees hard to take care of? If so you could do a peace lily or a rose bush.

S. H

When our daughter and niece died, we had friends plant all kinds of trees in our back yard. We have white pines, blue spruce and even a maple tree which our youngest daughter has both helped plant and nurture to remind her of her sissy and her cousin. Our family loves the remembrances.

I would love to have bonsai trees... but I'm not a diligent gardener, so I'd only have it for a very short time. They require an enormous amount of care. Even if you can find one, make sure your friend will not feel oppressed by the work involved in keeping it alive. I think of live plants the same as pets -- they're hard to give as gifts.

Did you know her brother well? What do you think of when you think of him? A memento of something that reminds you of him would be a lovely gift for his sister, particularly if you explain it when you give it. If he was into bonsai, for instance, a small framed print of a bonsai (painted, photo, whatever) would make a nice gift... as would a framed snapshot of him from your collection, or a small notebook with a story about him written in it. A small carved-stone, wood and stone or crystal bonsai tree would be apt, and wouldn't require any care.

when my brother passed away by husband's side of the family got me a statue of a brother and sister by Isabell Bloom. I sat it outside in our garden and see it everyday. It's a reminder to me of how much my brother loved and was loved and how he lived his life. It's one of my favorite possessions.
Anything you do will be appreciated, even just a card and phone call to let her know you care.

Their is this little place on Inkster road in between I-96 (schoolcraft) and plymouth road that sells bonsai trees. I dont know the name of it by heart, but know their is a place there that sells it.

I would suggest planting a tree in the yard instead bonsai trees require a lot of care watering every day etc.

What about a regular tree that she can plant in her yard. Bonsai trees take alot of work to maintain, unless she's into those. You could pick a tree that's different, not a maple or something ordinary, maybe something that blooms this time of year so that every year around the time he passed away there are flowers.....
flowering cherry, eastern redbud, weeping cherry, dogwood - there's white and pink; lilac ...

I am so sorry to hear about her brother. I think a bonsai tree is a very nice gift. Check out www.ftd.com and type in bonsai in the search engine. I just bought my MIL a bonsai tree from ftd for Mother's Day and she loves it.

MC

First I am sorry for your loss. One of the things that I have done that has worked out well, is to buy a rose bush or something similar. I always attach a card that I write myself that stresses that as God continues to bring life to the rose bush, one can be reminded that the love of the person that died does not go away. As God's love is eternal, all love is eternal. Just because someone has died does not mean that the loves dies. It should be cherished and remembered; and, I believe a rose bush helps to do that.
B.

P.,

My condolences to your best friend!

I just had a baby at the end of Feb. and my aunt got me a Bonsai Tree, which she said she purchased at Nino Salvagio's in Rochester Hills.

You could also try sending a terranium (sp?) from Viviano's or something like that.

If they're a religious family getting a mass said in her brother's name is always nice.

I'm not sure where they make these but a friend of the family took some old clothes of the deceased and had them made into a teddy bear for the family to remember the departed by. I think this is SUPER sweet. If you're really interested in doing that send me a PM and I'll look into it further and ask her who made it!

Best of luck on your quest for the right gift. But honestly, I'm sure the best thing for your best friend is your support right now...although I'm sure you already knew that!!! :)

Try this link: http://ww4.1800flowers.com/dataset.do?dataset=10291&c...

Or, go to www.1800flowers.com and click Plants, then Bonsai. They have a nice selection, and they are reliable! I use them often.

How about a gift certificate to a nearby nursery. Create a card that says the tree/shrub/ flowering plant is in memory of her brother.

Hi P.,

I don't know the name of the store, but there was a shop in Royal Oak that was just Bonsai trees. I'm sorry, I don't remember the name of it, but this may get you started in the right direction. I think it was near 12 Mile Rd. ( on one of those streets like Main, Rochester, Washington or Crooks ) I just remember being in front of it sitting at a red light. East side of the street.

Maybe someone else reading this knows who I am thinking of, and where they are exactly.

Good luck,

C.

Try this place...
Bonsai House
8653 N Inkster Rd, Westland, MI 48185
Phone: ###-###-####

How about a stepping stone or a statue for her garden. Maybe even a nice plant that will come up ever year like a rose bush.

I would think just about any nursery would have a bonsai. I know there's some place in Monroe. Some greenhouse place. Otherwise go online. Some of these online florists, like ProFlowers, or FTD, etc have bonsais. Lovely gift. They aren't always the easiest to take care of, but beautiful. The street fairs sometimes have a bonsai booth.
Best of hunting. And you're a lovely friend for her to have.

When my father passed away, one of my old h.s. teachers bought me wooden chimes. On the part that hangs to hit the chimes she engraved with "In memory of (name here)" I absolutely love it. It something peaceful that they could put outside or even inside. I hope this helps.

Sorry for your loss. God Bless!

Any type of living memorial with a plant, shrub or tree is a great idea that I have used myself.

How about a gift card to a local nursery, with a special note letting her know this is to purchase something for her yard to remember him by ie; a tree similar to the one they liked to play around as kids, if he had a shrub or flower that he admired. My neighbors did this for me when my father passed, in which I used to plant a couple of my Dad's favorite things. Now when I need him, I just play in the yard with my daughter and Papa is there with us.

When my friends husband died at an early age I too wanted to do something special for her. I didn't want to just get her flowers, they don't last. I got together with our neighbors (we live in same neighborhood) and we all contributed towards making a 'peace garden'. We bought several types of plants such as rose of sharon bushes, sedum, lilies, iris, and some decorative grass. We bought a cement bench for the center of the garden. It's all in memory of him. While you probably can't do a whole garden, I love the idea of a lasting plant- a tree in his honor-some sort of perennial plant that will come back year after year.

The tree sounds good however if you have problems locating one why not buy her a crystal ... I can check and see if there is a spesific one or an Amethyst is for calming .
It is for Tranquility ... this would give her something to remember him by but also give her a sense of peace around her.
Just a suggestion .
Hope you find something that you feel is right.
M. ( from England )

Hi P.,

If you can collect old and recent pictures of her brother you can go to www.treasuredphotos.net and create a beautiful keepsake photo book or dvd movie. This is something that will be treasured for a lifetime. If you have any questions or need help my phone number is on the site.

God Bless
C. Biondo

There is a catalog that has an ornament that is very fitting for these situations. The Ornament is called Merry Christmas from Heaven. You can get it in either Pewter or goldstone. The Catalog is Terry's village. If you go to www.terrysvillage.com I have an old catalog but the number Pewter (FX-95/2712) Goldston (FX-95/3308) I hope this work or you find something that will.

D.- SAHM mother of two. I also do chilcare in my home and am an Independent Stampin' UP! Demonstrator

P.:
I'm very sorry about the death of your friends brother. This is something very special from whate I have heard from others.

I know an owner of a florist shop and he has these beautiful tapestries that they make with beautiful sayings and I believe they embroider name/date on it. I have heard its absolutely beautifu. I have not seen it yet but next time I'm in the area of his business will check it out - where do you live? His shop is in Allen Park,
Let me know what you think,
L. Pero ____@____.com

Something with "Footprints in the sand" poem? Good luck.

Is your friend religious? A friend of mine's father passed away unexpectedly a few years ago and I bought her a gold crucifix on a chain that she could wear whenever she felt she wanted to remember him and feel close to him. I am always touched when I see her wear it because she does not wear it every day. This is my suggestion to you.

I think that a Bonsai tree is a wonderful idea. My husband works with them a lot - they are a hobby for him really. We get most of them from gardening stores - like Fruit Basket Flowerland (if you have one around). Any nursery or gardening store should be able to help you out. I know at Fruitbasket, they aren't in the most visible location, so you may have to ask when you get there - or make some phone calls in advance.

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