25 answers

Suggestions Needed for Bereavement Gift for Widow of My Cousin and His Daughter

Hi Everyone,
I am saddened with the death of my cousin. He battled cancer and has passed away. He left a loving wife and a teenage daughter. I want to send flowers etc., but I wanted to know if there is a gift someone out there has found extremely helpful during this difficult time. I was also thinking of a food basket? Any suggestion would be extremely helpful.
Thanks

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

if you could, pay them a visit with a meal. If they are to far away, this is going to sound a little wacky- but it's really what they might need- paper towels, TP, coffee, plastic cutlery.Simple drug store & grocery store stuff. After a death, somex's running errands can be difficult.

I like to give money. In a tough time such as this, there are always a lot of unexpected expenses. Flowers need to be taken care of and they die anyway. Food is good, but that is usually in abundance. Money can always be used at the moment or down the road for whatever the receiver deems appropriate.

Does she have a flower garden of any kind or landscaping around her home? I have often found that sending a statue of some kind, an angel, stepping stone, something that will be a happy reminder and beautify their home is always a great idea. It's something that will last forever and always be a reminder of their loved one.

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M.~ I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I unfortunately understand how sad and difficult this can be for your cousins wife & daughter.... as well as the rest of the family. (My husband's brother was tragically taken from us two weeks ago) One of the greatest things that anyone has done for my husband and the rest of the family has been to gather old photos you may have of your cousin, make copies of them and make a scrapbook of your memories for them. You could have several family members and friends gather photos or even just jot down the happy memories that they may have to include in this book. They will cherish the great memories that everyone has of their beloved husband/ father not just now, but for years to come.
As for a food basket... its a great idea, but try to keep in mind that several others are thinking on the same lines. My in-laws were completely showered with precooked meals and quickly ran out of room to store everything. Try to make it things that they could possibly freeze or even store for a while. Maybe a basket of their favorite snacks, things that are quick and easy to grab on the go.
Another idea would be to get his wife & daughter gift certificates for a massage or two. One of my mother-in-laws friends did this for her.... and she said that its been the best gift anyone could have given her aside from all the memory books. This is an extremely difficult and stressful time for them, they could use a little stress reliever. My thoughts and prayers go out to your family.

1 mom found this helpful

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my father as a teenager too and it makes you realize that life just isn't fair. My mother thought the best gifts were food or fruit baskets. We were all too overwhelmed to cook nor did we have much of an appetite so it was very convenient to just grab an apple or nibble on grapes instead. A monetary donation is also good if the family has been left with a lot of debt. I wish you all the best & again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry about your loss. You may want to try www.cakeandaprayer.com It is a nice alternative to a food basket and the cake is delicious. Someone sent one to me last year.

Do not send a plant if you do send flowers. I found that the worst thing when my husband died. The guilt of trying to keep a plant living was just too much. I liked the statues I received as well as the garden stone. I found a great book, I'm Grieving As Fast As I Can. This book is for young widows and covers all aspects of grieving. I have given it myself for others. Being there and remembering to call in the weeks ahead is also important. No matter how strong his wife is/has been, she will need someone there for her. For his daughter, maybe tickets for a special place she can go with her friends to escape for a little while that her father has just died. You knwo, an arcade or something. I like the idea of a scrapbook, I wanted people to write down their memories and stories about my husband. Do not force her to do a scrapbook with you, but do one of your stories/pics for her. Especially stories that involved him before he had them as his family.
I am very sorry for your loss. It is great you are thinking of his family like you are. I'm sure making a scrapbook would be very helpful to you too.
R.

Hello, M.! I'm so sorry to hear of the loss in your family. My suggestion as a gift would be a small scrapbook. It is a gift that your cousin's family can look at over and over again, whenever they are in the mood. I wish you and your family luck during this sad time.

My grandmother passed away in January. My family received some really great gifts from thoughtful friends. People gave windchimes, cement stepping stones and some truly beautiful statues. Perhaps you could get something like that in memorial of your cousin. Flowers die and are more of a hassle than anything. Plants are also nice, but only if they are plant people. If not, it's just a bigger headache than anything. What about a gift certificate to a restaurant? They could get out of the house for an evening. If you decide to do food, don't do ham! It seems like everybody and their brother gave my family ham when my grandma died. We wound up throwing most of it away! I am so sorry for your family and their loss. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers.

Hi... When my littl cousin (approx. 12 yrs old) lost he father we got her a cross necklace and a journal from a Christian book store with verses on it. That way she had an outlet to write her feelings/emotions/memories in it if she wanted to. I think a journal is a good idea and maybe a special picture frame of "daddy & me" or "Daddy's litle girl" or something like that, that she can put a really cute picture in. With father's day around the corner, you should be able to find good "father's" picture frmes. This might be something that is a little more personal and meaningful. Also, if they (the wife or daugther) happen to have a green thumb, you could buy them a really neat tree/bush for them to plant in his memory.

I like to give money. In a tough time such as this, there are always a lot of unexpected expenses. Flowers need to be taken care of and they die anyway. Food is good, but that is usually in abundance. Money can always be used at the moment or down the road for whatever the receiver deems appropriate.

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