February 16, 2008,
E.M. asks from Cherry Hill, NJ on February 09, 2008
Fourth Grade Daughter and Sex Education
My daughter is in fourth grade. I have bought her a very good book all about "growing up". It is very well written and exactly what I wanted. It is called "It's Perfectly Normal." My husband and I are very open people, meaning that when our children come to us with a question about sex, we are honest and truthful with them. We have always been this way and want to continue to be this way. My question is...when should I give my daughter this book? I don't want her to learn this stuff from her friends or school first. I want my husband and I to be able to talk to her about everything. This book explains it all..in comic book form...all of it! Has anyone else gone through this? Any suggestions would be helpful. Thank you!
M.D. answers from Philadelphia on February 16, 2008
My 10 year old step-daughter, who lives with me full time came to me when she first noticed hair on her legs. I assumed her biological mom was having this conversation with her before this. However, when she came to me the second night in a row stating the hairs did not wash off, I gave her the "All About Girls" book. I briefly described what the book was about first, then she read it at her leisure over the next week or so. Then I initiated questions and gave some of my puberty stories that she found hysterical because my mom didn't know to give me any books then. I started this when she was eight since she had some other questions she did not feel comfortable asking her parents. Fourth grade is a great age for her, and probably just hearing things from you initially will make it easier for her to talk to her dad on her own later. Best wishes!
C.W. answers from Philadelphia on February 11, 2008
Your daughter may be able to tell you a few things you and your husband did not know!! Personally, I feel that she is old enough to read the information you have. I might suggest that you may read it together if she feels comfortable doing so. If she has questions, she can ask them as she reads the info. Both parents there might be a bit too much. Additionally, since other parents may not be on the same "page" as you, I would be honest and tell her that each of her friend's parents will share the information with their children when they feel it is right for their child and to try and refrain from "sharing" the book. Have a great day! CSW
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D.W. answers from Philadelphia on February 10, 2008
my mom started talking ot me about sex when i was in fourth grade. she talked having a period first and it went from there. when i was in eight grade and took sex ed class,I was already well informed and was amazed at how much some of the other kids did not know. i was always able to go to my mom and talk to her about sex and i appreciate her being open with me about it and will do the same for my son when the time comes.
R.W. answers from Philadelphia on February 15, 2008
My son is in the 5th grade and just got a paper sent home from school asking permission to have the 'talk'. I would give her the book when you can and give her a chance to ask questions whenever she feels she's ready. Good Luck!
J.S. answers from Philadelphia on February 10, 2008
I think I have the same book for my daughters. actually i had 2 of them. I talked to them about the books and gave them to read about 4th grade, or when I started noticing "changes" in them. maybe for one it was more interest in boys, or one who was getting breasts. Then they could read it when they felt ready. My youngest has the books now she is in 5th grade. she got them over a yr ago, but was not ready yet.... but now she is. you know your child the best, and said you were very open, use your best judgement, take the cue's from your daughter.