For Later in Life Mommies

Having given birth to my one and only at 41, I think you have nothing to worry about!

I happen to live in a college town, and many of the moms are a bit older. DD hasn't noticed yet.

It's the relationship you create and maintain, not what others seem to have is what is important.

I don't think most of them really realize it. It's just what they know. I had my children when I was between 25 and 39. My youngest has no clue that I'm older than other moms of kids who are her age. My friends vary in age from early 20s to 60s+. No big deal. I think the whole "socialization" and weird school age segregation is so not normal in real life. I seriously think this is a non-issue unless you make it one.

You are not old.
I was a "later in life" Mom too, still am.
And so are ALL of my friends... both my same age, or younger.
I never feel "old" as compared to my younger friends. And they don't think anything of it either, about me.
It is no big deal.
My kids are now 5 and 9. They NEVER ask me how come I am older than other Mommies.
They on the other hand will say maybe, "That Mommy is sooo young!"
The norm for them, is "me." As a Mom.
That is what a Mommy is to them. Me.

I have never felt, the way you feel.
It never phased me.

My kids have NEVER asked me why I waited so long to have them.
Actually, once I got married, I did not want kids right away. My Husband did. 5 years after we got married, I felt ready. So we did have kids then.
Its fine.

my mom was 44 when I was born.. .. it was never an issue.

I was 39 adn 41 when my kids were born. It will not be an issue.

I am thankful that I worked and saved money so now I am home spending time with them.. I am not sure that I could have quit my job had I been younger.. I wish I was younger so I could be around for them when they get older and have theier own kids.

I was 36 and 38 when I had my kids. Honestly, I don't think it will be an issue. They may realize and ask at some point, but all of my friends are various ages and after a time I forget that they aren't my age!
If my kids ask, I think I will say something similar to what you posted. I wouldn't change a thing! I love that I am older, more settled and mature. I love it!
HTH,
A.

I wouldn't worry (I too am 10 yrs older than many mommy friends) To a child- u are an adult- as are the moms of her friends. I doubt she will ask about the age tjing (at least not for a while) but I am sure in her eyes you are the perfect mommy and she "wouldn't change a thing" either!

I had my daughter at 41. She's 10 now. She knows I'm older than most of her friends moms, but it's not a big deal. I'm also more active than a lot of the other moms she knows. She and I both train in Karate and ride bike, swim, and skate together. She's practicing running lately because she wants to be able to keep up with me!

My group of mom friends range in age from early 30s to mid 40s and I'm the oldest at 51, but we have so much in common that age doesn't matter. At school events, the parents of the 4th graders range from late 20s to late 50s.

My mom was always the oldest mom in all my friends but it wasn't a big deal. I noticed it and knew about it, but I never had an issue with it, it just was what it was!

I was 38 and 40 for my last two. There are plenty of us out there, not just first time older moms but those of us with older and younger kids. My son's have never said anything about me being older because, well to them, all parents are old.

I think it's fairly common now for women to have babies later in life. There are several "older" moms at my kids' school. I have 3 kids that are all 3.5 years apart, so I will probably be considered an older mom by the time my youngest starts school.

I hate to be the one to break this to you but kids don't care, we all look old to them. It doesn't matter. We all look around thirty because that is some age they decided is old, 40 is nursing home.

I was in school between 38 and 42. One of the kids, around 22 declared 40 is ancient!! I asked how old do you think I am? Late 20s, early 30s. I was 41 at the time! The whole class gasped.

They haven't a clue, you don't look any different to them to someone who is ten years older or younger.

I can assure you the question will never happen! We notice, they don't.

Hello, I was 37 when I conceived and then gave birth to my son.. He hasn't asked me why I seem older, but has said, you ARE older :)

However, it never seems to bother him. Additionally, while I am older than some moms, I tend to have more energy, look younger and while a few younger moms that I know are never wanting to do much physically with their kids (they'd rather drive or take the bus) it's not uncommon for my son and I to get out and walk 5 to 7 miles in a day.. and when we do, I race/walk with him.... and will take a ride on his scooter :)

However, there have definitely been times when I felt like, wow, am I the oldest mom here...... and sometimes, I have felt out of place.. Also, I have found that many women my age have older kids and therefore, it's been a struggle at times to find a place where I fit in.. I don't always feel comfortable with the younger moms and older moms whose children are grown seem to stick with their own.. I guess you could say, my son isn't the one with the problem .. I am :) hahah but I am working on it..
despite some of the cons.... there are more pros to being an older mom.... and I wouldn't trade it for the world.. If someone does ask me why I waited... I tell em that at this age, I am a more "apparent" parent than most..... being older does bring wisdom... also, I don't sweat the small stuff like some younger moms do... (nothing against them) but it's true..

That's so funny, because I feel like I'm always the youngest mom. (Almost 30, I have a 3 year old. I'm not that young, really.) It seems like around here, it's the norm to have children 35+. I had my son at a great place in my life, so my age has never been an issue. I do look much younger then I am. I get a lot of, "That mommy is really young" from kiddos. I wonder if that makes their mom feel weird, or if they think I am too young!!

I was 40 and DH was 45 when DS was born. He is now 6. I have never really thought about this. He has never asked. I think he still sees all adults as pretty much the same age - either parents or grandparents.

I guess I'm lucky. I run into this sometime, but honestly everyone I'm good friends with and the moms in my oldest sons' playgroup were all in their late 30s and early 40s. I was actually shocked at my youngest sons' playgroup because many of them were in their late 20s, but it's not really the norm around here. I don't anticipate having to deal with questions about it, because most of my kids' peers have parents the ages of us (41 and 42 right now -they're 6 and 3).

It is funny -most of the people I grew up with who have stayed in my hometown or nearby have kids who are at least in middle school if not high school, college or beyond. A few are even grandparents! I wouldn't change my situation for the world though!

If asked, I will just say that I didn't want kids when I was in my 20s and that I wanted to be in a very committed relationship or married if I ever had kids, so I waited for their father -and then we wanted to spend some time together traveling and for him to finish school before having a child. That's the truth, so I think it should suffice. I think your answer is just fine!

So many women have kids later, it's a non-issue. I have 2 good friends with kids the same age. One is 11 years younger, the other 15 years. Again, non-issue. You're only as young as you feel. Of course, most days I feel a hundred... :)

I am a very old mommy. Much older than you and my kids are 4 and 2. I think about it all the time. I don't expect my kids will notice or care until maybe Junior High. I keep telling myself "If the worst thing I did as a mother was to be old, I'd consider myself a pretty good mother." I am just hoping by the time my boys recognize that I am so much older than their friend's mothers, they will have seen so many kinds of families, they won't care. Same sex parents, foreign adoptions, blended families, kids raised by grandparents... Older mommy is just part of yet another non-traditional family type.

I remember when my mother had my sister in 1970, she repeatedly said "I will be the oldest mother of all her friends!" How old was she at the time? 32!

The 'older mother' stigma is of another generation. I think you are more the norm now. If it is any consolation, I am 52 and have 15 y.o. twins. I can tell you who the hottest Jonas brother is, what text abbreviations mean, and the last guy that broke Taylor Swift's heart. Having children later in life keeps you young!

I am 41 too and my daughter is 5.5. Most of the moms I know and see at her school vary in age. I have never let it bother me.

I think it keeps you young. Like others I have friends who are younger and older, and I don't think it is an issue unless you make it one. We waited since we were busy building careers and saving money for a house. I am satisfied that I got to do wild things when I was younger, had the freedom to do what I wanted and now do not feel like I "missed out" on anything. We were not only more mature but also calmer when the kids came along, we had been around friends and their babies and were not worried about getting up at night to feed them or one of us being able to stay home to raise them (I was home 9 years and now work part time). Our careers were at the point where we had enough seniority to take time off when needed, or to adjust working hours around doctor's appointments or to catch up on some sleep. Finally, our relationship had really settled from that heady in-love feeling to a true understanding of each others strengths and weaknesses, and we were able to communicate around the upheaval that a baby brings and not lose track of disagreeing on ISSUES and not let it affect our love for each other. The kids live with that respect and love they see in us (and I had no problem being "in charge" of them in every sense of the word) and have been really easy to guide to teenage years. Still they are respectful and communicative (although the usual teen moods strike them) and I feel strongly this is because of us waiting until later to have them when we were truly ready to deal with the responsibility.

I'm 30. There are moms who had kids when they were 14 or in their mid 40's in my child's class. Not to mention all the grandma's who are raising their grandkids. It's a huge range of ages!

LOL I used to have the opposite feelings . . . it always seemed like the moms of the kids my kids' ages were older than me. They just seemed so confident and put together. Then there was me - feeling like a fake most of the time. :)

I'm 42 with a 17-yr old and a 14-yr old (soon to be 18 & 15, which means I will have an adult child!!!).

I'm envious of you!

I just turned 51 March 8th. My son was born when I was 40. I feel younger and act younger than my age so I don't see it as a problem. Thankfully, I have never been asked if my son was my grandson...not yet anyway Lol. People say that I look much younger than may age so I just go with the flow. Even though we won't be having any other babies due to a lot of medical problems, I feel like becoming a Mom later in life is awesome. I know more about life and I am so much more patient with my son than I would have been at a younger age. I agree with you and I also tell my son that I waited this long to be a Mom because God wanted me to be the best Mom I could be, and I just wasn't ready at a younger age. We have talked about it a lot and he does not have a problem whatsoever with me being an older Mom.

In my mom's group, there are a bunch of us "over 40s," and a bunch of young "just 30." It's kind of weird actually. I think there is only one person in her mid-30s.

We are trying for baby number 3. For some reason, this baby has me thinking about my age. I never thought about it before. But I am only just now starting to feel "old."

Kids don't have an idea of old.
They don't really have that concept yet.

I waited to have kids and am glad I did.
My mom was 30 (gasp) when she had me.
That was "an older mom" back then.

I think as as teens they have a warped idea.
I remember thinking that when I would graduate high school I would be
18 & half my life was over. Hahahaha.
Skewed concepts.

You'll be fine. :)

I am 41 and have an 8, 5, and 2 year old. I really only think about how old I will be when they are older. My mom and grandma had kids at 20 ish and they are still young and vibrant grandmas/great-grandmas. When my kids are 40 I will be in my 70's.

With my age came more wisdom and calmness with parenting. I guess that's a bonus for me.

I'm not sure what you will have to explain...that you were a certain age when she was born? I have a 3yo daughter and I am 47yo, my hubby will turn 50 tomorrow, so we are obviously much older than most parents of toddlers. We adopted our baby girl with the mind-set that could provide her with a safe and loving home. We have the security, stability and wisdom that comes with maturity. Good or bad, there are so many grandparents these days that are left raising their grandchildren for whatever reason and doing a wonderful job. In so many ways, age is nothing more than a number. We have plenty of energy, perhaps more than many 20 somethings, and we still like to have fun darn it! lol Children crave love, attention and security, which we have in abundance.

So just keep yourself healthy, energetic and young at heart and when your daughter asks you why you are older than most mommies, you can tell her that mommies get better with age and she has one of the best!

I agree with other posts about kids not caring about age, when my daughter was younger, anyone out of HS was 'old', now that she's in HS, age doesn't seem to cross her mind anymore. I had my daughter at 23 and am now working on additions at 39...my daughter has been bugging for a sibling for years but it never worked out in the past. Now that it looks like it will, I've asked her "Don't you think I'm too old for this?", she laughs and says "What?? You're ONLY 39, mom!"...

I am 57 with 20 and 17-year-old sons. My husband is 6 years younger than me. I have great skin care products and I take care of myself ( I am a personal trainer) so everyone thinks I am my husbands age or younger.
This has not been easy to achieve as I have had several major health issues over the last 10 years--stroke, open heart surgery, and cancer.
I have to admit I was concerned knowing that I would have teenagers at the time I would be going through menopause, but that turned out to be a non issue.