Food Throwing

I definitely wouldn't be hitting the child. (It's interesting the difference between pediatricians. Another person told us that her pediatrician said that the child is exploring and to let them, which they are, but you can still nip that a bit.) Hitting is never an option. That only redirects their attention to you hitting and not the problem at hand and teaches him to eventually become experts at hitting.

We were just discussing this on a Love and Logic group that I'm on. Someone has triplets and this is what she did with this meal battle. First of all, it would really help to get the book called "How to Get your Kid to Eat, but not too much" by Ellyn Satter. She said that it is a wonderful, wonderful book about teaching your kids healthy attitudes about eating and food and how to avoid food and meal battles. The mother said that within one day, meals were SO much better.

Here are some things you can do though (read further below to see what to do when he throws again):

First have all the food cut on and on the trays BEFORE he is in his chair because some kids will quickly lose patience for sitting there.

Only put 1 tbsp of each item on the tray at a time. - If there is so much food on the tray, the child can easily be dumping it on the floor. This will also allow him to learn to ask for more and evaluate his level of hunger.

Do not react about food. This means no pressuring to eat, praising for eating something, pushing them to eat more, tricking. It's ok to comment, "I see you like peas today," or praise the skills they are using. This is mentioned in the book above. It keeps eating from becoming a battle or control issue.

If he starts fussing and doesn't want anything, immediately get him down. He is done...whether he ate one bite or not. Parents tend to keep their kids in the highchair way too long. He'll eat what he needs. In that book, it talks about how little they have to eat to meet their nutritional requirements (2 tbsp of veggies is the daily min req.). Everything else is a bonus.

Let's say he resists going in the chair...just say, "Ok, we can eat a little later." Let him decide when he is hungry. This is an important skill. We don't let others decide when we are hungry at home, do we? I certainly don't.

If he throws a cup, in a light tone say, "Uh-oh. Cup is all gone." Then put it on the table next to you. When he gestures or asks for it, just say, "Oh, this is sad. Cup is all gone." No lectures. Lecturing throws the lesson out of the window.

If he drops food (even if it's the very first bite), very brightly say, "All done! Breakfast is over!" and down he goes. If he barely ate, try again in an hour or 15 or 30 minutes, or for an older child, the next snack. As he gets used to this routine and what you'll do...give it a daily dose of a week or two (he'll pick up on it), then he'll know that throwing food is an immediate uh-oh, but he'll get to try again immediately after he is done in time out. It shouldn't happen often after that. When it does, you just tell him, "If you don't want it, you don't have to eat it, but we don't throw food. It's bad manners." (No yelling. Just empathy.)

If you are still eating your dinner when he wants down, let him down, but continue to finish your dinner. Another matter, if he is trying to eat off your plate, put him back in the chair and say, "I'll be glad to give you some _______ when you are sitting in your chair." If he resists, say, "Ok, you're welcome to get down." and put him down. Repeat a few times and he will either stay in his chair or stop begging off of you.

The mother of the triplets said that the Satter book up above was wonderful. She said that changing what she was doing solved most of the problem. And with parenting, we all know that what *we* do is either going to fuel the fire or stop the problem all together.

I hope this helps!

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K.,
He's def old enough to where you can punish him for this. He's trying to get his way and this is the age to let him know, it's not his way. What you can do rather than hit him with a spoon, is take him from the table as you are telling him NO we don't act like this at the table, and then in a few more minutes try to bring him back. Keep being consistant though, if he doesn't get his full meal in, oh well next time he'll be hungry and won't act like that. Good Luck!!

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When you set him down at the table (before giving him his food) tell him no throwing food or he will be put in time out, this is his warning!! If he does it, remove him from the table and put him in time out for 2 mins every time he throws or knocks food off his tray (tell him you are putting him there for throwing food). While he is there, go about eating your food while ignoring him. He'll either get tired of being in time out or hungry that he'll eat instead!! Same thing for hitting, put him on the floor in the corner for it. Tell him it is not nice to hit and make him say he is sorry (he probably won't say it but at least have him give a hug to the person he hit at).

If you and his parents start cracking down on behaviours you don't want him doing now, he will become a 2yr old that will be bouncing off the walls that drives others nuts!! And it will only be harder for you guys to discipline him in the long run too.

Good luck!!

S.

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I don't hit my 20 month old when he does that. Instead he gets his tray taken away from him for 2 whole minutes until he says he is ready to eat properly. I ask him if he is ready to eat properly and he answers yes... After crying for a little. However, he stops throwing the food for the rest of the meal.

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I agree with Velanna. Make the punishment fit the crime. Take the food away whenever he throws it on the floor for a few minutes until he agrees to eat nicely.

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