First Day of School Is Approaching - KINDERGARTEN

My firstborn is going off to K also. It is a natural stage of life. Don't spread your freak out mode to your kid, though! Let your son enjoy this experience, remember it is a normal phase of life (for you AND him), take a deep breath, and let him go. I'll cry too, but I've been telling my daughter that while I'll miss her, she'll have a ton of fun in her new school adventutres. Good luck, and keep it POSITIVE! J.

Well... I've been told that I was odd because I didn't cry on my son's first day of kindergarten. I was very happy for him and very excited that he was so 'grown up' and independent and confident enough to head off to school on his own. We celebrated the milestone. It was also full-time K so he was gone all day. My 2nd child will be heading to kindergarten next year so I know this is the last year to do fun things with her during the week (like the zoo, children's museum, etc). My youngest turns 2 this month so we have lots of time before she starts. It might have helped that the kids go to preschool so we are all used to them being gone for a few hours a day a few days a week. My kids LOVE preschool and look forward to it (and learned quite a bit socially, emotionally and academically) and that carried over to kindergarten.

You will enjoy him being gone... when he comes home and you see how much he's growing and learning and maturing. He's making new friends, learning to navigate the world without his parents, gaining independence (and therefore confidence) and constanting learning new things. You'll be so happy for him because that's your job as his parent - to have him grow into a happy confident independent person. You'll also start to enjoy the time you get to focus on the younger children and doing special things with them. Like when the baby naps you can focus 100% of your attention on the middle child - which she'll love.

At our elementary schools, there are tons of ways for parents to become involved and volunteer. When my son was in kindergarten and 1st grade (he's going into 2nd this year), I would trade kids with another parent of a child in the class for an hour or so once a few times a month. So she'd watch my 2 girls while I volunteered in the classroom and then I'd watch her younger kids when she volunteered. It was a great experience.

Just remember that kids pick up on your moods... so you need to feel happy and confident so he'll sense that. If you are anxious or freaking out then he'll sense that... and he may start to think there's something scary or bad about school! That's the last thing you want.

First child enterring schoolis always difficult and it really is a very long day for a child. The child is usually fine and it is Mom who has the more difficult time. We played school at our house to get us all inthe mood. We talked a lot about becoming such a big boy and going to "big" school. I did write little notes and put them in the lunch box. Of course I cried after I left him in his classroom but it worked OK for all of us. There will be other benchmarks of being gone but like first overnight, first camp etc but none is as hard as the first day of school.

well you already addressed my first thought, homeschool, I started this last year when my youngest was ready to start school, pulling my middle son out of public school and teaching them both, we LOVE it and they have no desire to go back to school and are ahead of their peers. (it can be REALLY easy if you want some info on that just message me)

but in truth with two little ones at home you were told right, you will soon enjoy the little extra peace. it will make it easier for a little one on one time with your youngest two and give you a nice break.

Even in K though your sons day will not end when he gets home, my kids had weekly homework folders, spelling words to practice and books to read, making their day last another hour or two every night after school, then it was dinner and bed time so they could actually get up in the mornings. This was part of why we stopped public schooling. I'm not trying to make you even more apprehensive about it, it can be great. if your schedule allows it can mean you get a couple hours every night to just spend with your oldest, and with school comes all the extra activities and friends and fun things. which ok just means you are running that much more but we all know we love it.

good luck, and remember, for the most part all parents do this and the kids love it and thrive, you'll both be fine.

Oh, L., you're going to receive a trillion responses on this one! :) I can see how this could cause you to be anxious. My first born was soooo excited to begin and I, like you, was very anxious about it. He woke up early the first day of school, got himself ready, and I was a train wreck inside, but I never showed him how concerned I was. Anyway, as the bus came to pick him up, I held it together until the bus drove away!!! Needless to say, I went in and cried for about an hour, took care of my 2yr old for the day and by the time our son got home to tell me all about his new day and how he survived "just fine without me", all of the anxiety I had flew out the window. The next day was a piece of cake!

All moms handle this differently, you just need to find what works for you. Just know that your son will have a great time!

Hope this helps,
D.

What school is he going to that have all day Kindergarten ? The ones we have around here are all 1/2 day, either AM or PM, for just 2.5 hours a day.

Aw, L., I totally empathize. Truth is, I COULDN'T do it, so I homeschooled the firstborn through second grade before sending him to a Waldorf school. My daughter was homeschooled for K last year, and this year will be heading to her brother's school for first grade.

Even at age 8, putting my son in school was difficult for me. After I drove him to school, walked him to the playground, and turned him over to the teacher, I'd go back to the car and sit and cry. This lasted for two weeks. Then I adjusted. It did give me more one on one time with my daughter. And it helped a LOT to see how much he enjoyed school, and was having so much fun.

So, I can't tell you HOW to get through those first few days, but just know that you will get through it. Another rite of passage for both mother and child.

When my daughter starts, on her first day, they have what is called "The Rose Ceremony". The parents lead their child to a bridge (on a stage) and let go of the child's hand. The child then leaves his/her parents, and crosses the bridge alone, to join the teacher and classmates on the other side, where they are given a rose by their Class Eight "buddy" (who will be their buddy through the first year). It's very symbolic, obviously, and there is not a dry eye amongst the Class One parents!

So, you think of me, and send me positive, strengthening thoughts, and I will do the same for you! Oh, and take lots of pictures!

Blessings, J.

I know this is a later response and you already have plenty of advice - but I had to share this. A parent's job is to get their children ready to go out to face the world. I recall my oldest getting on the bus for KDG and I cried. I recall when she first went away to overnight camp and I cried. I recall the first time I handed her the car keys and I cried. She will be leaving for college in the Fall (3.5 hrs. away) and she knows I am going to cry some more.
We do not like to do these types of things, but we need to - for their sake as well as our own. Be strong... and it is till o.k. to cry.

The best thing you can do for your kid is get involved in things you enjoy that do not revolve around them.
Start an exercise program, learn a craft, take a class.
They need to see their Mom enjoying what life has to offer and not being dependent on her kids.

Reading threads like this make me wonder if there's something wrong with me.....okay, not really, but still. I LOVE love love my kids. They're very happy children, very well behaved, like to have lots of fun, just all around great kids. But I am not just their mother. I'm a person with real dreams, aspirations, opinions, and friends whom I love spending time with. Sure, it's hard to think about how fast my kids are growing up, but I refoice in all of the new experiences that come along with them growing up. My youngest goes to kindergarten this year, my other child is going into 2nd grade. I was so excited about having the mornings to myself that I decided to take an online college course from IPFW. When he reaches 1st grade, and is gone all day like my daughter, I plan on taking maybe 2 or 3 classes, or if if I decide to not take more classes, I'd like to volunteer or get a part time job at some place I really enjoy working. I look forward to being able to have lunch with my husband during the week. I look forward to having time to do things I love like browse through bookstores, go shopping, or visit friends. On the flip side, I also look forward to taking the kids to places we can't go yet like on big huge roller coasters, hiking up mountains, and other activities that are for older children. Those first few years of their lives were great, but so were the next few, and the few after that will be great, and so will the ones after that. To me, there's no reason at all to be freaking out. Of course they grow fast, but we knew that when we gave birth to them. I think that it's harder for the moms that have given up their identity to be nothing but moms. It's not completely their fault, and is very easy to let happen, but it doesn't have to be that way. I decided when I first became a mother that I wasn't going to be one of those moms that gets so wrapped up in only being a mother that they have nothing interesting to talk about anymore. I hope that other mothers are able to not let that happen to them. It's great to devote yourself to your children, I definitely have done this, gave up a lot to stay at home with the kids, but doing so doesn't mean that you're not a person outside of motherhood anymore. If you lose that part of you that is who you are, aside from being a mother, you're going to find that when the kids get older you're going to feel completely empty when they don't need you anymore. Instead, let them see the person you really are, and instead of "needing" you, they'll want to be around you just because they see the type of person you are, fun, loving, and passionate, not just in being a mother, but in life.

I don't have the words to explain how, but I promise you will get through it. You will cry (and maybe even follow the bus to school) that first day. You'll then cry again when he comes home. Its best to think of this as he probably is...an adventure. This is not a sad occasion as we moms make it out to be. This is a rite of passage. Take lots of pics and shed your tears of fear, pain, joy and pride. You'll have stories to tell him later in life about all of this. Just think, in a couple of years, you'll get to do it again ;)

I remember that same feeling:) It will actually be harder on you than him. I had the same anxiety and thoughts of homeschooling. It will pass, after a few tears(from you). My daughters 1st day, I was all worried. I drove her to school and she was off and running, excited to be a big girl and she never looked back......to see me crying. I took my other daughter out to lunch and to visit Grandma for the day and they we picked Alli up. She was tired but loved school and all the new adventures. I hope it goes as easy for you:) My biggest fear was not being responsible for her all day and trusting other adults to keep her safe. Her school allows parents to have lunch with the kids, every day if you wanted. I went every Tuesday and she loved it, and so did I. I felt better getting to know the staff that looked out for her every day.. Good luck.

Leaving your son the first day will be difficult. I think about every mom cries as she walks down the hall. I don't know your son but a clean leave is the best for both of you. Don't drag it out, hand him over to the teacher, tell him you will see him later and walk. Even if he cries, walk on. He will adjust after you leave. If you think he will have problems with you leaving, go buy "The Kissing Hand" book. It is a great 1st day of kindergarten book.
Hang in there mom, it does get easier but it is not easy the first day. Guess what, when they head off to college it is the exact same feeling so this won't be your last experience with this!! I left my daughter in Chicago, not knowing a single person, talk about hard. She just graduated in June. She lived to tell about it and you will too!!!

First of all….KUDOS to you (I am sure I will get a lot of hate mail for saying this) for not homeschooling your child. Second of all, I, too, will be sending my firstborn to kindergarten this fall. I do work part time (120 days a year), but spend all of the rest of my time with my children. I even cried when they took her away from me for her kindergarten screening.
I do not know your reasons for homeschooling, but I can tell you from professional standpoint what a great decision you made. I work part time as a school psychologist and it is by far a complaint I have. I do believe that parents have the best of intentions when they decide to homeschool their children, but they do not understand the ramifications of such actions. Particularly when they eventually send their children back to the public educational system. In my district, when a child returns to the school district after being homeschooled, a large majority of those children are behind academically in one or many areas. This is despite the parents ALWAYS saying that their child is at or above grade level. Parents cannot possibly give to their children the instruction at a level or intensity that a qualified and licensed educator can. Not to mention give them the hands-on instruction and experiences that are vital in any child’s education. I know this because I am often the one testing the child when he/she returns to the district after being homeschooled.
Additionally, children who are homeschooled often struggle socially when they return to the school district. They do not quite know how to interact with their peers to help themselves fit in. Although it has appeared as though boys fair much better at a younger age when they return to the schools then girls. As for girls, they can be very hurtful and mean and will quickly exclude anyone new or anyone they view as different. Besides, friendships and cliques are often formed in the very early elementary years. We, as educators, try to prevent this and redirect such behavior but it cannot be stopped entirely.
Finally, mother-to-mother, good luck and stay strong. You are, after all, preparing your child for the rest of his/her life when you send him/her off to school, allow him/her to go to a friend’s home to play, sign him/her up for extracurricular activities, etc. As parents, it is our job to prepare our children to become the most successful adults in life. We teach them to love, be respectful, make good choices and decision, to achieve, to be the best they can be. And in order to do that, it means letting go a little bit at a time.
One thing I do…I write a letter to each of my children on their birthday every year. I write about the last year of their life. What they did, what they said, their behaviors, their milestones, etc. I also tell them how I felt as I watched them grow and develop into who they are each year. And one day, when I feel each child is old enough, I will give her all of her sealed letters and she will see where she was and where she has gone, all the while knowing I was loving and supporting her. I will forever be my daughter’s number one fan! This is just one more way to let her know that.

I guess I was lucky because I worked outside of the home and my children will in pre-school and went on to school from there. I was lucky enough that the pre-schools also taught kindergarten so ----.
Believe me, it causes a few tears and I am sure he will be uncomfortable with being away all day for the first week or so since being gone all day from you will be a shock for him as well, but treat it like an adventure for him to go on, like he is getting a special treat by going to school and make sure you have time when he gets home to spend at least 15 minutes with him talking about his day and how it went.

Well i suppose it's a little late for my advice now, but if there are any summer camps he could go to for a few hrs a day you might get accustomed to him not being there for part of the day.

I think that when the time comes I will also be a little sad b/c my little man is growing up, but I think the transition will be easier b/c he has been attending Preschool 3 days a week for about 4 hours each day.

Good luck and have plenty of kleenex!

L. :)

I know it's very hard especially if they cry and beleive me one starts then they all do. But do not takle them home. BIG MISTAKE. I told our son it's part of growing up and I felt there were things the teacher knew how to teach better than I did. As it turns out Cincinnati Public does nothing or little to nothing leanrning wise with the kids. He was bored out of his head. I already had him ready for reading the only thing I wasn't sure how to teach. She even wanted to hold him back. I said NO WAY! The very next year and I'll quote the teacher stated "she had never seen a child so thristy for knowledge". He excelled. Funny how the same child got to different ideas from 2 different teachers.
I was watching our youngest grandson til momma got a hair in her butt and refuses now to have me watch him. I had him reading and doing math at age 3. He was in preschool and they were amazed he was so advanced.He wasn't though until I got him. We read and watched only educational shows. He got to go to the park and play when the weatrcher wasn't rainy or too hot. We went to the libary one day a week for the children's hour.
I am probably going to be over seeing the middle grandchild's home schooling this year. He gets into so much trouble Mom is pulling him out. Not the same Mom.He got expelled and missed final exams this past year so he is still in the 7th grade. He's doing an online school. He may need to come here to make sure he is doing the work and to stay out of trouble. He really is a sweet kids he just doesn't think before he speaks.

So, when my son started last year in Kindergarten for whole days, I was so worried. He is my only child, I work night shift so I spend just about every single day with him all day long. I'm also a single mom. We do all our household work together, shopping, playing, everything. I was so worried I would simply be lonely when he went to school. The first few weeks I was very lonely. I wasn't SAD like many moms say. I have to say I got him on the bus, walked back into the house and thought "what do I do now?"
After a few weeks I began to enjoy getting stuff done alone, and charished that time he was gone.
I do have to say by the end of the school year, I was more than ready for summer, and I still can't say I'm ready for him to go back. It does get easier and your evenings will be super busy with him so give extra attention to the other two throughout the day!