Filing for Child support...I Have No Clue How to Go About This.

I went to this webpage and printed out the application, filled it out, and sent it in. I am still in the beginning stages so I cannot offer more information about the process, but this is what I am doing. Hope this helps!

http://www.maine.gov/dhhs/OIAS/dser/application.html

My personal opinion is to take him to court, it will make your life a lot easier. I don't know about you, but the biggest thing that my ex and I would fight about was money. I took him to court, I did let him know about it first so he wasn't just served papers, but from that point forward we have nothing to argue about. I'm in Montgomery County, so I went to the office of domestic relations, I made an appointment first though. I sat down with someone and basically they asked a bunch of questions. They'll tell you what paperwork you need to bring; children's birth certificates, paternity paperwork, paystubs, etc. So I sat with them and filled this whole thing out, and a court date was set. For me the court date was about 2 months later. We both went to court and it wasn't like a tv court show, we went into a mediators office and just the three of us we sat down and figured it all out. The mediator will tell you what he things a fair deal is, but ultimately it's up to the two of you to decide, if you guys can be civil. I'm very lucky in that my ex and I are civil and we could agree on what the mediator helped us figure out. If not, the mediator will step in and make the decision. The very nice thing is that I know that I will get my money every week, it gets directly deposited into my account. I would really recommend it. If you have any other questions let me know, I can give you phone numbers or whatever you need. Good luck!!

From one mom that has been there, you should NEVER try to do this on your own...you will almost ALWAYS get screwed over and it sounds like you know what i am talking about. I dont know what county your in, but I go thru Butler and it was the BEST thing I ever did. Just call up to the the Domestic Relation and request the paperwork for filing for Child Support. They are pretty helpful,but can not give legal advice. I also got an attorney Pro Bono, but there are attornies out there that will charge based on your income and the Domestic Relations can tell you or give you a list of thoses as well.

I hope that this helps you...I dont know the whole situation, but it helps to have the courts when he refuses to give you any money at all.
I hope that it helps you...

Hi S., my name is M. and I am divorced. My ex has custody of our 2 children and I am on the other side of the fence so to speak. When we got divocred we only went to a medeator, BIG MISTAKE!!! Everything was so vague. After 5 years of us going back and forth with money we finally had to get lawyers. My opinion... Find a family attorney! There is so much involved with child support and you have a lot of rights as the custodial parent that it would be in your best interest. The state of CT has alot of programs for people who need help that are working women of low income families. (not saying you are) Alot of attornies have free consults and can help point you in the right direction. Also DO NOT TELL HIM YOUR INTENTIONS! keep it civil and let the lawyers talk about it. After 5 years of fighting, it has been a load off my back disucssing money with him. Frankley its none of his business what you do and howyou do it, it only gives him ammunition. Alot of things can be settled out of court between the two of you,and your lawyers court should be a last resort. A good resource is the state ot CT bar association. Best of luck to you and your family.

This is a tuff situation. Sounds to me that you are torn as to do it or not. Is he willing to pay, because I went through this for a year and a half with my ex and he felt I didn't deserve a dime and was really mean to me about things. After I went to the court house and filed for child support we had a hearing and they awarded me a percentage out of his pay and they took it right out of his pay that way we didn't have to deal with eachother regarding the money just our daughter. We are now very friendly. I think when they don't have to directly give you the money that they don't really feel that it's going to you. I don't know and I am not going to try to figure out what goes on inside a mans head because that is a never ending battle. Good luck to you and I would go to your court house and ask for paper work on filing for child support.

My husband and his ex s/w a negotiator set up by the court house, I called and explained that we needed a final document, this is what the court house reccomended minimal fee, no lawyers, everyone just has to agree w/ each other. They also told us that I wanted to ammend the order that we could just submit a typed letter signed by the involved parties and notarized. Everyone got a copy , and the court house honored it. You can try calling bucks counties domestic relations, located in Doylestown, if you live in bucks county! GOOD LICK!

Allegheny bar association has volunteers for Legal Aid that will give you advice - expert advice- for free. They can also give you a listing of lawyers that are specific to this area.
Make sure you have a list of questions ready for the current situation and where you want it to go in the future - think things through so when you do go to court you don't have to go back for a long long time - it is emotionally draining but you will find it very worthwhile for the peace of mind.

Honestly, even though it may seem easier to handle it on you rown, it is usually best to have a lawyer handle it for you, that way everything is spelled out and understood. It doesn't mean you don't trust your ex or want to begin a "war" with him, it simply means you want it done right. I am pretty sure you can receive a free initial consultation at Trautman @ Associates, ###-###-####. Good Luck!

Like most of them had said it is pretty simple but can be stressful on the other end believe it or not I asked my x for back childsupport that he owed from way back before my children was adopted. I asked him for a lousy 10.00 a week lmao guess what now he ignores my daughter she is Mild MR and very hurt by it but atleast she realizes how much she means to him.
Actually I've taken care of my children all my life and never called for help of course I had a new spouse to help also. I get alot of compliments for my oldest which is 21 she brags to everyone of how her mom did it on her own without any help cause she remembers it all.

Hi S.,
I agree with the other moms. Go through the Court System. I don't have this problem but I have plenty of family and friends that do. My one cousin tried to do this on her own and she literally got screwed. He quit paying her any money for their two kids and she couldn't do anything about it. He would take the kids for days at a time, not returning them and they eventually ended up missing alot of school because of it. At least through the court system, you are guarenteed your money for support and if it comes down to visitation, he could not "run away" with them if he ever got that idea. Definetly call the Domestic Relations Division in your area and get the ball rolling. I don't mean to sound harsh, but, without court orders, he could decide that he doesn't want to pay anymore and just up and leave with the children.

Just go downtown to the family court building and file a petition in the courts he'll be served and then you will have a court date and that will be it.
J.

What you need to do first is go to the Domestic Relations Dept. of your local Court House and file for support in that department. They will deal with contacting your ex and setting up meetings with him to deterine what they feel he owes based on his income and your childs needs. They will stay with you the whole way but no lawyer should be necessary as long as he doesn't fight you tooth and nail and even then Domestic Relations will help you out with that.

I would definately call your local court house - they can tell you how to go about getting a mediator which is less expensive. Good luck!

Hello S.,

Filing for Child Support will make everything so much easier. You and your ex can discuss in court what visitation arrangements you want, or if you want it to be open (he can have them whenever he wants.) Getting gov't issued support will "guarentee" you getting your money. There are concenquences if he doesn't pay. The money can be taken out of his paycheck, if that is needed. Go onto the New York State website, and look around for the child support section. You can always try to call and talk to them to see if it is something you really want to do. Getting support will clarify issues like who pays for the child's insurance, who picks up the bill if there is money left to be paid afterwards, etc. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I get my support from New JErsey. I have been for the past 3.5 years. Good luck.

Liz

You would need to go to the domestic relations department of your local court system. Its not too hard, someone will be assigned to help you fill out the paper work to have your ex served to appear (with you also) at the domestic relations office where they will determine what if any payments he needs to make. You will need to bring recent paystubs, health insurance verification for your child, w-2 and complete a form that they don't even bother to look at that shows what your monthly expenses are. The only way you would actually end up in a "court" is if either you or your ex disagree with the amount determined for support. You will also be entitled to "back-payment" from the date that you actually filed for support (not the date that you both appear at the domestic relations office). Good Luck!

ABSOLUTELY! It is not for you it is for your child! You need to ensure that your child is taken care of.
Call Family Court or Friend of the Court and they will be able to direct you to some resources. Better yet, go down to the Family court and look them in the face and see what assistnace there is.

Hi, It's not a hard process. You need to go to the nearest family court. There they will supply you with a date and give you a summons which you must have serve on your husband. You don't have to pay for a server. Have anyone you know hand it to him and fill out the attached form for you to give back to the courts.

The court will state a definite sum of support and visitation. It's not a difficult process but the lines at court can sometimes be long.

Just remember that if it's all down on paper there is no reason to discuss this issue with him again. It will be settled.

I've been there and done that and believe me it's the best thing to do.

Good luck.

hi S.!
i went thru child support questions too when i inicially wanted to file for it...
after doing social work for three years, and being a single mother for the same time, my view on child support, is that we deserve it, no matter what anyone may tell you. it is your right to get that money on a regular basis...
it is great that your x pays on his own, but as a single parent, it is important to be able to depend on that x-tra money to support your child/ren...
you can always go and file for a support order, all you do is fill in the information they ask you for, and within one month you should get a hearing scheduled. at that hearing you and you x have the chance to come to an agreement between you two, you two can either decide on an amount you think is fair and affordable, or you can let the master rule...
usually you do not need an attorney, i did not use one, people use them when the divorce is ugly, or when one of the parties is just not willing to settle for anything, or is too wealthy and doesn't want to give up some money.
be careful when agreeing to an amount, there are disadvantages, and you should ask your countie's domestic relations office what those are... example, if you have subsidized child care and agree to an amount, the amount of assistance the state is giving you may decrease, don't quote me on this one because each county is different.
also, be aware that if you decide you want more money, you have to pay a new filing fee to set another hearing schedule...
you deserve child support, and it is not a bad thing to file for, think about your child/ren.
the drama is avoided by filinh for child support by avoiding having him to be late paying you, and you needing the money, or him having excuses as to why he may not be paying...
if you would like to talk about this further, feel free to call me ###-###-####... after three years of being a social worker, i love to help people!!!

good luck!!

A.

Your best bet is going to be to take him to court. As much as you don't want to do this, it will be better for both of you in the long run. I don't know where you live and how the laws are there, but when I had taken my son's father for child support one of the first things they asked us was if we could agree on a set amount. If you can do that, they will take that and just make the order accordingly. It will begin coming out of his paychecks and sent directly to you shortly thereafter. If you can't agree, there are a number of steps that must be taken while in there. They will have to figure out your income and his and go from there. As for the custody, you should file something with the courts. You don't necessarily have to take himn to court for that, just come up with an agreement and file it in the proper court. That way you don't have to be the bad one that is suing him for everything. And if, after a while, you want to change it, just amend it in writing and file the amendment.

You do not have to go to court, you can call a Lawyer and they should be able to figure out for you how much he should be paying based on his income and if he disagrees and you cannot come to an agreement on it, then your lawyer may recommend going to court. I'm not sure if there is anyone else that can tell besides a divorce lawyer

Dear Stephine,
take your ex to court for the fact if you are handling it between you and him without the courts , there could be a day that he can show up and say he wants to take your child for the day and leaves the state the truth is theres nothing you can to do because theres no leagel doc saying where your child lives , I took my ex cause didnt know if he would try that but you never know but also for child support you can go to your local child support office and they can help you

I just went thru the same thing. my ex and I split up 9 months ago and Hes not given me a dime to help with the kids and he hardly ever takes them. I recently filed for support from him and we go to court in November; basically all you do is go to the family court building and on the third floor is the support office; you just go and tell them you want to file for support and they will give you the paperwork to fill out you will see a clerk and get a court date. You will need your childrens socials and your ex's information but thats basically it.

yes taking him to court is the only way and the smart way

they have a website normally in each county/state and

phone numbers you can contact on how to get help

Divorce and happy with monthly cs for 6 years

S.,
The process differs depending on what state you live in. In most states you can simple call your County's Child Support Collection Enforcement Unit and file a claim for support. You will have to provide proof of paternity (a birth certificate is usually acceptable if the fahther's name is listed). You can also enlist the help of a mediator as opposed to a lawyer. You will probably have to go to Family Court if the father opposes the support. New York State uses a percentage chart based on how many children you have. For example, if you have two children, you are entitled to 25% of his yearly income. I would begin with support collection and let them advise you of the best way to proceed. I hope this helps. I've been in your situation so I can definitely sympathize. Best of luck to you..

K. R.

HI fellow ma!
Ok I was an unexpected ma and i got fully into the family kick...but then realized he was not interested...this brought up the question of money and visitation...I have a very strong minded mom i have also been on the child end of divorce. I know this is not easy but going to the domestic relations office in your county and explaining your situation to one of the counselors would be your best option. You may have to hurt his poor feelings but he will get over it.My ex has yet to grow a brain and realize i m not taking the money for personal gain but for the care of my child.I believe by what you have said that this man is doing similar mind games with you and I am sorry for the length of time you have had to endure this but i think its time to get a friend or strong willed family member to take you to the domestic relations office and the prothenatary office in your county court house and get the ball rolling.THis is SCARY I know believe me but it will get easier once you have the courts on your side. I would highly recommend getting a lawyer you trust that deals in family courts.I have a few if you would like their names just email me back. I am here for you if you need a shoulder to lean on. My son is 2 and i have been doing the court thing since he was a few months old.I hope you feel the weight lift from your sholders when you have the help of others.
L.

First off it is wonderful to hear that you and your ex were able to manage this huge issue for the past 5 years! It really shows that you both are able to look out for the best interest of your children & you deserve a pat on the back for that!
Sometimes it does make it easier for the kids sake to have visitation arranged by the courts. To begin the process you'd have to go to your county court house domestic relations department.
Be aware that it can get sticky. In order to be awarded child support you'd have to have the kids the majority of the time.
Also remember that this may be another change the children have to adjust to, so try to stay strong! Good luck!

Since I don't know what city you are in, let me say the first thing you should do is find a good, reliable attorney. He or she will be able to tell you exactly what you can and can't do. They will be able to explain to you what the laws are in your State. My suggestion is that you speak to family and friends that have used an attorney for this particular issue and use their attorney if they were happy with the attorney's services. They will also be able to tell you what costs you can expect. As an alternative, you can go to your county domestic relations office. In alot of cases, you can file for support on your own, but they will probably not be able to tell you what your rights are or how much you can ask for, but they will help you with the paperwork and it will be less expensive than using an attorney. Filing for child support is there to help your child and it is his responsibility. Having the courts determine and issue a written order for him to pay guarantees that you will get the money every month. "Taking him to court" may not be pleasant but sometimes it is necessary to ensure that your child is taken care of.