Fiancee and Our Differences

E.
I completely understand how you are feeling. I am a STNA. A few month ago I lost my babysitter. I had to quit my job because I can't afford an other child care. I am with my children 24/7 yes I love them with all my heart but they are the only people I am ever around. I lost most of my friends when I started having kids because the party all the time and I cant do that anyvmore. My husband work full time and is actually going to be working out of town a couple weeks at a time here soon. He doesnt go out on the weekends but he is always working on something and I have the kids. I go nowhere without them. I would love to go back to work but there is no possible way. I say if you can go out with him on saturday, do it. Get out some and give yourself a break. You deserve it. And as far a going back to work do it. You can help out financially have some time with someone over thhe age of two. Good luck I hope it works out for you. I wish I could.

I totally understand where you're coming from. First and foremost I'd suggest sitting down and having an open and honest conversation with your fience. You have very good reasons for your feelings and hopefully after talking more about it he'll begin to understand. I've gone through a very similar situation recently and after having an honest conversation things changed. We also worked it out where the two of us took time together on a regular basis as well. It's so easy to let the "couple" get swallowed up in daily life, and going out together seems to have helped a lot too.
I'd also suggest exploring your own interests. If you can, create avenues for you to meet other women and have a little fun and adult interaction yourself. Get involved in things that interest you and see what happens from there. I'm getting involved in the local YMCA, I'm involved in my kids schools and Scouts. I know your little one isn't quite old enough for those types of things but play groups, diaper dip swimming lessons, etc are always an option. And even putting out the feelers for things you have an interest in like art or what not, taking a class at the local college or many libraries have groups to join where you can not only fulfill an interest but also meet new people. As strange as it may sound Myspace has ben a great way to meet area moms with similar interests too.
Finally, the family that you're having trouble with... I used to run home daycare for the military. We had strict guidelines in our contracts that may come in handy for you. If you'd like to know more about it let me know. I know the contract saved me a lot of headache with issues like that. It's unfortunate how little people aknowledge that a sitter's time is theirs after "closing" and they'll show up late and take advantage of you in that way or not pay simply becasue you're not a "brand name" org. Having been there, I feel for you. E., all in all a talk should solve these issues. I know it's frustrating.

Have you thought about other work at home jobs? The MOM Team allows you to: Make money, interact with other adults and stay home with your kids. If you are interested let me know. I would love to help!

I have had this conversation with my husband sooo many times..."you don't understand how busy and tiring my days are...I need some down time too!"

I think that when mom stays at home and dad works, there is the classic "you don't understand what I go through" thing going on. I have just had to start saying to my husband, I am going out tonight (or tomorrow or Thursday -- whatever) and you need to stay home with the baby. If I don't have anyone to go anywhere with, I go to Barnes & Noble to have a cup of coffee and look at magazines -- it's the perfect escape!!

I think that it just boils down to YOU making the decision to know that you're important enough to do something for yourself! If you feel like going back to working outside of the home, then go for it! Talk to your fiancee!