Fear of Doctors...

Why are the older two afraid? And why is it "silly"?

Besides needles, going to a physician is not pleasant. At the very least, it invades your personal space. Healthy, strong people have a natural sense of boundaries. Unless there is a reason - that makes sense to that particular person - to let down those boundaries some people don't want to do it, hence the tattoos (they seem worth it I suppose - though not to me LOL).

I would respect their concerns, not refer to them as silly, and then try explain why certain things are important. Mostly I would emphasize that your physician works FOR YOU. They are a source of advanced information. They are not all-powerful overlords to be feared or worshiped.

JMO.

J.:

I'm confused - are you a child/sister or their mother? Your profile makes it sound like you are a SISTER to three brothers. This question makes it appear like you are an older mother.

Many people have fear of doctors and needles. If your brother/son (stems from confusion between question and profile) has tattoos and is afraid of needles - then he needs to suck it up.

Ask them WHY they have this fear and talk it through with them - using logic.

I in recent years just got over my fear of medical needles. There is a huge difference between tattooing and piercing needles and those used to inject medications. I still have panic attacks on occasion when I'm at a doctor's office and I have to see several specialists monthly.

I'm not sure what to recommend for your two older children as what finally helped me start to manage my needle fear was being preggo and and having gestational diabetes. Having to inject yourself multiple times a day for the sake of your child kind of helps get the fear of that type of needle away from you.

As for your youngest, let them know that the fear is worse than the minimal amount of pain they'll feel from getting a shot. Recently I was with my 8 year old at the doctor and the finger prick to test her hemoglobin levels hurt much more than the hep B shot she got. She stated as much after the fact. Try to distract your child is possible and always praise them for being strong and getting a shot or checkup whatever the case may be. Please don't downplay any of the fears expressed by any of your children.

I don't believe your 21-year-old has a fear of needles, because getting a tattoo would be a nightmare. Your 21-year-old may have a different fear, however, such as a fear of blood or a fear of veins, fear of internal "stuffs" coming out; there are several options that don't even have named because they are lumped in with "fear of needles" but don't necessarily reflect on the needle itself.

I was unable to get through my phobia (I have a fear of veins that eventually spread to a fear of all needles) without help from a therapist who specialized in anxiety disorders. Over the course of several months, this therapist helped me with visualization and relaxation techniques and eventually went with me to get blood drawn (I was pregnant - the reason for my therapy, actually). I'm still probably not someone who could donate blood, but I am able to deal with blood draws and IVs when I need to, especially when it is for the health of my child, and it is because I know how to use these techniques to keep my anxiety at bay.

What was not helpful was people telling me I was being "silly" or to just "get over it." The terror was too deeply ingrained, and so those words were humiliating without being helpful.

If you feel your children truly have a fear of needles or something similar and you don't want to see a therapist, at least read a couple of books about phobias to see whether your kids might fit the bill and learn some gentle exposure techniques yourself. Once you stop belittling your elder children's fears, they may be more willing to put on a brave face for your daughter to help her cope with her concerns.

Your two oldest need to at least suck it up for the same of the 8 year old. Maybe they can casually mention some (pretend) doctor's appointment they went to and how well it went. With young kids sometimes doing some role-playing can help so they know what to expect. If you yourself don't know what to expect, then call the nurse and explain the situation. I'm sure if your doctor is good, they'll do just about anything to make it a good experience for your child. Also, nothing like a special treat for after the appointment. If this is such a scary thing then I wouldn't have it be a reward for good behavior, but instead just something to look forward to if he/she is scared/nervous. Maybe try an activity that is more complicated than going out for ice cream...something you can talk about in the waiting room, in the appointment... This fear with the older two is deep after all these years, but hopefully as they mature they'll understand how immature it is to be afraid of doctors. If not, sadly they'll probably avoid seeking medical care when they need it.