Family picture...if Someone Is Missing...

I would have it done. That way she will have a reminder of the family she still has left. And if he had a wife or kids include them. She will love it. We look at pictures of our family with and without my dad. And yes sometimes it makes us miss him but we also love our family that are still with us.

Good luck and God Bless!

S.,
Was your brother married with children? If so, they can be included, right?
Bitter as it is, this IS what your family looks like now. Yes, it hurts that your brother is gone (I'm so sorry.) but life IS for the living and what would your brother think? I'll bet he still thinks it's a good idea. Good luck, whatever you decide.
You can always matte & frame a special picture of your brother for your mom as well, right?
You know best to decide what's best for your situation.

Well, what if you all lose another family member (spouse/grandchild...), you will regret not having a family picture with him/her/them in it.

My dad died young. It would be a shame if our family never got family pictures because of this. We can miss our loved ones, but not at the expense of not celebrating and crating memories of the living family. If it is a very sore spot, then you can get a nice picture of him framed, and one of the siblings can hold his framed photo for the portrait. Really though, that would be even a larger reminder to me and I personally do not like it when my mom wants to hold a photo of my dad in our pictures, (she doesn't always though). Maybe you can do a few shots with the photo, and a several shots without.

I'm thinking you're going to receive recommendations like take an old photo and photo shop him in....which I have seen done before, and quite frankly, I find that more disturbing.

Honey, your family's loss is significant, and your mother will probably never 'get over it.' But Life does move on, we do march forward.

Perhaps you can take a family picture in a favorite location of your brothers? What comes to mind when you think of him? A sport? Certain music or restaurant? Favorite color - then all wear that?

I think it's really wonderful of you to bring the family picture up again. I would ask your own family this same question here. And you can all figure out together how to honor him in the group picture?

Honestly, you ARE still a family....just minus one. That does not mean you don't get to live and enjoy your lives now. Doing this will help her realize that her son also lived, and not just died.

Just because you don't take a formal picture doesn't mean your family is any more whole.. I'd take the picture, while it may remind your mom that she lost a son it will also remind her of the amazing kids and grandkids she still has. I agree with Heidi to include the deceased brothers family if there is any!

why not go there get professional pics done of each person and then make it like a collage, if theres 4 of you, one in each corner, and you can have one of the photos of your brother included too
i saw your update, was their something that was unique to him, was he silly, if so you could make a silly photo in memory of him, or did he play sports, you could do a sports photo in memory of him, or maybe the little one hold a single rose?

You should get a picture of your brother. Take the family picture and find a place that will put your brothers picture in it as if he were there. I have a co worker at work that did this. It's really neat. (I am not sure who they had do it for them sorry)
HTH..

let it go....it would be a constant reminder of her loss.

OR flipping it, you could do it with you holding a photo of him. (hmmm, I just grimaced....so that means I'm uncomfortable with this idea.)

& as a head's up, I have lost a child. We do have family photos since then, but it's been 18 years since my daughter's death. With just 3 years passed, not sure how raw your mom's emotions are......

A family picture is a reminder of all the loved ones you still have, not of the ones you have lost. Mom will love it. She thinks of your brother everyday. A picture without him isn't going to make her think about him anymore than she already does. Celebrate the living and do it in his honor. Don't hide his memory to keep everyone comfortable. If anything celebrate him. I would have his wife hold the picture of him. Have a toast to him afterward.

I lost my oldest son almost 4 years ago. I now have 2 more kids. I always look at my family pics and feel a sadness because he should be in them. I still do get the pics though because I would regret it later in life if I didn't have them done. I think you should have them done. It will sting a little, but your mom will still cherish this picture.

I think it's MORE important to have the picture taken. Life is for the living.

WORSE case senario is she puts it away and doesn't look at it but I HIGHLY doubt that's going to happen if there's KIDS in the picture.

We do a collage picture for my parents. Each sibling takes a picture of their own family and we put it in a collage. You can do this and insert a picture of your brother.

What about taking a family picture and holding a picture of your deceased brother? That way he is still represented?

You can't beat yourself up over not taking the picture sooner. Unfortunate things happen :-(

OR - what about having a caricature (sp?) drawing done of all of you? Take a picture of everyone to an artist and have them put something together? It might be something different and cute, not a formal picture, but a fun reminder of everyone together? That way, too, you don't have to go through the process of having the photo shoot done without your brother there?

I think that with other family members - your spouses and children - it will be less an example of him missing. If it were just you and your surviving siblings it would be one thing but with the others there, I think it would be fine. I just lost my brother yesterday, but it was a long time coming (he was an addict). I would imagine that my parents would still welcome portraits of the rest of us and our spouses and siblings in the future.

On the one hand I think it would be a painful reminder on the other hand you certainly don't need any reminders to remember your child died.
After my son died I think it took about 7 years before I would get in a picture with my 2 daughters and husband. We have tons of pictures of my girls together and alone and me with the girls and my husband with the girls but very few pictures of the 4 of us together. Even after 10 years my stomach still gets sick when a picture is taken of the four of us together. I do however think that God forbid something happened to my husband or one of my girls how I would regret not having more pictures. It is really hard. I think you should ask your mom if she would like to have the picture and go from there. I don't think this gift would need to be a surprise.
Also, I think it would be really creepy to photo shop a picture of a deceased loved one into a current day picture but that is just my opinion.
Sorry about the loss of your brother. So sad.

I am sorry for your loss, but as many have said, you need to remember you and your other family members are still living. My parents just celebrated 50 years of marriage. My oldest bother is not very close to my mother an would never be in a family picture that she would receive. However, he would allow his children to be in a picture.
My younger brother and I coordinated a date, time and place to meet. We also chose matching outfits. My older brothers kids wore navy and white striped shirt w/ navy shorts. My younger brothers kids wore navy shirts with white shorts and my kids wore white shirts with navy shorts. They looked great. You could tell which kids went together.
We took multiple pictures all around a park. Pictures of the kids together an apart. Pictures of all the boys and some of just the girls. We then chose our favorite of the group of grandkids and had it blown up and framed as a present. We wanted them to recieve the other pictures too, so my younger brother suggested making a photo book.
We went to shutterfly.com and down loaded all the new pictures. We then added older pictures. Pictures from when we were growing up (individual an family shots). We also included pictures of our individual families. I arranged the book so that the first page was a wedding picture of my parents. The next 2 pages were of my older brothers family (past years). The next 2 pages were of my family (past years). The next 2 pages were of my younger brothers family (past years). The next 2 pages were of the new pictures taken at the park of the grandchildren. The next 2 pages were of our family or my parents as we were growing up. Then I repeated the pattern until I felt like the book was complete.
Maybe this would be away for you to get some new pictures of everyone and past pictures of your borther. Just pray about your decission and I am sure it will work out. I will be praying for you too.

I would make it into like a memorial or remembrance photo. You could engrave the family photo with something special for your brother, or put his picture next to the family shot and frame it, as well as engrave his name and a tribute statement or quote. I have seen some family pictures where they all wear the same color shirt, or have a colored ribbon to show their remembrance for someone. I find that a lot more tasteful then holding a pic or scanning his picture in there. Make it memorable and respectful. If it were me, that would be what I would do. It could be a way to find healing and peace for your family and their grief.

Very sorry for your loss.

We've done periodic pictures of all the grandchildren for my parents. I've never really known anyone who does a complete family photo that includes the adults unless it was taken at a wedding. IMHO, I'm thinking it would be weird to do the picture without your parents in it if it's a true family picture. I might rather just do a picture of all the grandchildren for them. This way, it won't seem as though someone is missing from it. Does that make sense? So sorry for your loss.

I am going to try to do the same with so but I am going to try to scan a pic of his son and take the regualar picture and put his pic over it and scan it. I am trying to figure this one out too.