Exhausted and Moody

You said you had a baby "last year"-- so does that mean your baby is a year old? Is he/she sleeping through the night? If not, that's priority #1. Read a book like "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" or "BabyWise" to get your baby into great sleep habits. Once that happens, you'll be AMAZED at how much your life will be changed. If your baby sleeps well, you will be able to get a good night's rest, too. With good rest, you will be able to function better throughout your day, and have the energy to exercise, to eat right, and to spend more quality time with your husband. If you baby is already sleeping through the night, then there is some other reason you aren't getting enough restful sleep and I recommend speaking with your doctor. Have you been to your annual check up yet?

1 mom found this helpful

OK first of all you have to learn to LOVE yourself of course you have to be moody being a mother is a lot of work, being mom for the first time and not knowing how to deal with it. You have to be in good health in order to be a good mom, try to rest when the baby sleep during the day, and don't forget to be a wife too, love your baby and husband made him feel loved and that he is the king of house (and that makes you the QUEEN). Lots of good luck and don't forget that you have been blessed.

I would suggest a few hours out without the baby. Just you and your significant other. If child care is an issue, feel free to contact me. I am the Director of Beyond Success Home Learning Academy and would be glad to help. You can find out more about me and the Academy at www.bshla.webs.com.

D. T.

I just had my daughter 7 wks ago, and I know it is hard!!! You have to just give the baby over to a family member or husband and do what you have to do!!! I do it everyday when I go to the gym or want to go out! It is not selfish it’s healthy!!!

sounds familiar. my reason behind all those things turned out to be hyperthyroidism. go have blood work done (everything, including vit. D) and see what it says. trust me, once i had my problem corrected i felt like i could see the sun again.
good luck

Hey M.! I hear you..big time. I had a terrible time for the first year of my daughter's life. It was terrible, b/c I thought it would be the happiest time of my life, but I felt tired, overwhelmed, undirected, etc., etc. Are you nursing, by chance? I noticed that it got a little better after I stopped nursing...which was when she was 13 months. I talked to several drs about it, and they said that your hormones are still a bit whacked out when you are nursing. Anyway, it was a bad year..I felt like I couldn't keep up. I was a great mom..but had no energy for anything else. I went to see a therapist after that first year, thinking I might have had post partum. She thought it was more that my expectations of what I could accomplish, now caring for a baby, were way too high. She was right..I was trying to maintain my old "busy", project filled life, while having the enormous job of caring for baby full time. I also talked to my OB, and we decided that I might benefit from a low dose anti-anxiety medicine. I am normally VERY natural, so it was hard to make that decision..but you know what??? It helped me SOOOO much. After even the first few days, I just felt like I got my head back on straight. I was accomplishing more, b/c I was focused, and I even started easily working part time from home. The meds I took were lexapro, at a low dose of only 5 mg. I am pregnant again..so off it...and I do notice a small difference..but it is hard to tell if I am just pregnancy tired. Anyway, I think what you are going through is totally normal for some people. Try to eliminate some of your "to-do's" that really don't matter. And get out of the house..if you stay home with your baby. Just getting out for a little bit each day can really help. I hope any of this helps!!
A. :)

i feel the same way a lot. i call myself chronically annoyed - isn't that horrible? since i've started planning more events to take my 10 month old and 20 month old to, things have gotten better. it helps to be around other mothers and not stuck in the house. as for the sex department, my doctor told me it may be my bc pills. i'm still on them so we'll see what happens when i come off. also, i try not to sweat the small stuff so much. like if the baby gets food all in her hair - oh well. if she throws her food on my floor and makes a mess - oh well. it might get cleaned up and it might not. letting go of the ordered and neatness helps a lot but can be hard to do. you're not alone girl!

M.,
Get your thyroid checked. It's a simple blood test that can determine if you have hypothyroidism. If you do, it's not a big deal as far as managing it. If you have it and don't care for it....your symptoms will get much worse. I almost went into a coma after 9 months of symptoms. I kept chalking it up to being a new, first time Mom. When I learned that all I needed was a tiny pill every morning for me to feel better, I could have kicked myself for not getting it checked much sooner. If you have more questions, I'd be happy to help. I learned a lot about it whe I went through it.

Take care,
L.

If you have insurance, go to a doctor who will check your hormones. (Dr. Marianne Beck in North Broward is great!)
You may lack a number of vitamins and minerals as well. If you cannot afford the expense, go to a local health food store and ask them to recommend a supplement, as this will only get worse.
Blessings

dear M.,

u gon be suprise to see that "this condition" happened to lots of mom after giving birth and in certain case, if don`t recognise that we have the choice to stop it, could last for quite some times.
On the bright, note I am sure you will receive some tips to not fall into the pit we probably all did, before learning the lesson. I have 2 girls, the 2nd time around, I try to avoid some of them!

Even at the origine of this state of being there is some clear reasons ( lack of sleep, unbalance hormonal, adjustement to a new type of life etc...)

As mom, we also have the tendencie, to push it to the extrem, for some reason we think ( aware of it or not) that being a good mom is to become this superhero that do it all, and of course Alone and forget about themselves like by some miracle well get recharge without doing anythings for it: Big.Big mistake!

If we don`t found a way to take care of ourselves, no one will and we`ll keep falling down this slide of moodiness and tiredness, going on with needeness and low selfesteem...It`s call Depression.

When in life we give more than we receive, we create unbalance, (Kabbalh teaching).Also let`s see the situation in her big picture, we think we can go by always giving: False! We can`t give what we don`t have, How can give patience, when we don`t have any left !

Also, even psychology agree, the more we give (specially to childrens) without restriction, the more they will want , losing overtime the sens of appreciation. It`s when they are little already that we teach them appreciation and the concept of Earning things so,

Rules#1: found away to take care of you, to go for a swim, to take a bath and read some, or whatever you like ! As person that put spirituality at the head of evrythings ( i am an Intuitive Counselor with a deree in Education & psychology, also numerologist)after a meditation, I am using crystal too,after that I am a new person!

Another way to get rejuvanate is to take massage, acupuncture, reiki.

Rules#2: learn to date your husband, man are different than us, and don`t automaticly understand what happen to us, roganize a night a week where you can go out (Don`t be scare to found a baby-sitter belive me on that I always found a reason why i can`t! you can also just stay home and organize a romantic dinner ( we sometimes feel funny to do that, because we are not there anymore , the all seduction and romance things but if we really love our partner we should push, the appetit comes by eating ! (french proverb).
the paradoxe of life is that baby that suppose to bring couples together, sometimes separate them ! Because their a re not available for each others !

I hope all those advise will help you, it comes some from my own experience and some from the work i have down with others moms and family

Wish you all the best
Sincerely I.

Hi M.,

I was in the same situation and I waited about a year after I had my baby to do something about it because I thought it would go away as my hormones evened out. I tried everything like exercising, yoga, meditating, diet, going to bed early and everything else that anyone recommended and nothing worked. I was scared to resort to medication, but about 6 months after my doctor prescribed me Zoloft I finally broke down and tried it. It worked and I was back to my normal self in a couple of weeks. Talk to your doctor because even a low dosage of an anti depressant might be worth a try. Hope you feel better soon!

Hi M.,

I don't want to be presumptuous here, but the symptoms you're describing do sound like they could be consistent with postpartum depression. Have you thought about talking to someone about this? Postpartum depression is not uncommon, and oftentimes a brief period of counseling can be extremely helpful.

Be well,
S.

Buy urgent the book "the secrets of the baby wisperer" Tracy Hugg. it will help you make routines for your baby very easy to follow and those routines will give you time for you to rest and be back on track in your life and your relationship...don´t worry, this hard time will pass very soon

get your hormone levels checked. check out dr slavin, he helped suzanne sommers with her levels and is here in S Florida.

welcom to post paton blues harmons are way off see a doc

you need a getaway. either a few days alone or with your spouse. no excuses.

Hi Myla,

I too have gone thru this same situation. I recently mentioned it to my doctor and she recommended trying a supplement called Sam-e. I bought them at Sams Club for about 30 bucks. I've been using it for a couple weeks and dont see a dramatic difference but others say they can see it in me. Good luck!

Hi M.-I think being a Mom takes a toll on all of us no matter how old we are or how old our children are. But I completely understand what you are going through & I went through the same thing when my kids were young. I just wish I knew then what I know now. I have recently began educating my self on some herbal items that are not only good for you, but also give you energy & help you lose weight. They are herbal, so they are natural & completely safe. I am a beleiver of natural stuff. I would love to share with you what I have learned to help you in the areas you need help becasue I beleive they will help you. It is too hard to talk through email. If you would either give me your number or I will give you mine, then we can talk. But I would prefer for my # not to be out there for everyone. So if you want to reply to this then I can give you my number or personal email so we can chat freely. Goodl luck M. & I can't wait to talk to you.

Have yourself checked for anemia or thyroid problems. It's normal to feel tired with a newborn baby but not for so long. As for the sex...get someone to look after your baby for a day and make a date with your husband.

Hormones. Have you talked to your doctor about this? I suffer from PMDD and wanted to try an alternative to prescription medication. I am taking 5-HTP. It's an herb that increases seratonin levels much like Zoloft does. Talk to your doctor and if he/she prescribes or recommends a prescription drug, research online for an alternative.

all I can say is AMEN. I went to my doctor and my thyroid is a little out of whack but it's not too bad. She recommended taking a complex B vitamin each day. It has helped out a little but if it doesn't get better, I may start taking B12 shots. Getting out of the house each day into fresh air helps a lot too...

You dont say how old your child is or whether you have other children, but I can tell you, hormones or not, it takes a real long time to adjust, especially with the first one. My advice: 1) ask your doctor to check thyroid/hormone levels; cut yourself some slack and dont constantly beat yourself up for it. Doing that will make you feel worse. Focus on what are ARE doing. My husband used to turn me toward my son and say "Look at what you ARE doing. You are a mother"; 3) ask your husband for support through this difficult time and explain how much you miss being you and how much you miss your relationship with him. It may make him feel better; 4) if you are a SAHM, nap when the baby does. Right now you and the baby MUST take priority over the housework and other things.

It took me two years to recoup and get on track after my first. You'll be OK. We all go through this.

Good Morning M.,
I sure can appreciate your feelings! It's definetly time to get away! I'm not real sure what your situation is, but if you can, talk to your hubby; and plan a weekend get-a-way. Even if it is to a Days Inn, just you two! I pray you have a dependable person to watch the baby, because you need at least a weekend, for yourself to relax, sleep; and re-kindle the romance! Todays times with everyone so financially strapped, I can understand how this may be difficult, but it is also something you NEED and must explain to hubby!
If a vacation doesn't relieve your exhaustion & moodiness, then you need a therapist to talk to. Mine does wonders for me! I wish you the very best and will say a few prayers for you! God bless,
Kathy N.
PS: Church & good people often help me feel better!

First, let me tell you that you are not alone. It is hard to take care of baby, husband and self. The first year is trying to say the least. Too tired for sex, too tired for anything besides just "getting through the day."
Take care of yourself first. W/out mommy being taken of, you can't give your best to anyone else. You may need to talk to your doctor. Hormone changes and everything trying to balance back out takes time and sometimes we need a little help.
Second, ask for help with friends and family. Even if all you do is go home and take a nap.
The sex will come back- it just takes time.
I know this isn't full of "help" but just a little encouragement from one who knows how you feel.