Etiquette Question - Saving Seats at Kid Events

i guess for me it depends on the number. i can see saving one or two seats. saving half a row- not so much.

there's a fairly large squishy middle ground between consideration (both theirs for their family and everyone else's for letting them save the seats) and entitlement, isn't there?
khairete
S.

Why are you spending time and energy on this. You were not inconvenienced. We are not responsible for strangers.

I find saving seats and saving spots in lines to be really rude and unfair. I never do or say anything, but I do wish the people in charge would set policies in regards to this. I have been to choir/band concerts where seating is standing room only and see people saving not one, but multiple seats for people who aren't even there. Or I have stood in lines at various events for 1/2 hour or more with my kids only to have six people cut into line ahead of me because someone was saving their place. First come first serve should be just that. I can understand saving a seat for someone who is parking the car, or saving a spot in line for someone who leaves to go to the restroom, or saving a place for the elderly or handicapped but so many people feel so entitled! IF you want a good seat then get there early like the rest of us!

This drives me nuts.
We just have me and my husband to go to our sons concerts so we never have a large entourage but I've seen people stake out whole rows or groups of 8 or 10 seats - and it's a toss up if people show up at all or are late.
What's even worse is when these people come late (everyone in the way of their seat have to stand to let them pass) then they sit for a few minutes before a toddler (who could not possibly care less about the show in the first place) has to go, so everyone stands up again as they leave and repeat as necessary as they come and go at will.
One of these days I'm going to sit there and tell them I'm tired and not budging - they can go around - I'm hear to see and listen to a concert and not to do calisthenics as they run back and forth disturbing everyone around them.
People have no manners anymore!
I wish people would quit being so cheap and hire a sitter so the little ones could stay home in comfort while the adults/older kids can enjoy their outing.

Did you have people who could not join you because of those spaces? If so, I'd be peeved. I think saving seats in itself is not bad, and maybe those people are perpetually late, but if you see them at another event, I'd avoid sitting near them if possible. Did their party arrive before the event started? IMO, once the event starts, seats should be fair game for the people who arrived timely. Even in a theatre with tickets, you may find yourself in the back if you are too late.

I was always the poor person saving seats for a mom that never quite made it, an ex that barely made it. It was so embarrassing because why can't my stupid family get their lazy asses going and be there on time to have the seats they felt they so richly deserved.

They could assign tickets but I still would be first in line to get the best tickets. Those seats would still be empty. Do you go to baseball games and think it is unfair that there are empty seats in front of you? It is kind of the same thing.

I didn't like being that person and at least in my life I made sure someone used the seats just before the event started even though I caught hell from my mom for that. Family likes to sit together. Or act like they do.

I never "promise" seats to anyone in that situation. I just tell them I will "try".

As for the proper behavior, I think we all know that it is silly to tell someone they can't set in a seat that is open.

If I am faced with it and there are no other seats, I just sit in the empty seat. When the person says something to me I just tell them the seat is empty and watch the show.

since it was an all day event, an hour and a half later doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me. I thought you were going to say they didn't show up till it was almost over, or something...meh. kinda stinks they couldn't get there quicker, but hey, we don't know. I'm sure I'd want to sit together if something like that happened to me. Maybe they had car trouble or something. who knows. Acceptable, I think.

Eight year band mom here! Yeah, I get the saving seats. I have done that before. A lot of times, we helped with the band and then ran over to the stands to watch the show. We would trade off. So, we did save seats.

If they "saved" an entire row, then that would be wrong; however, if it was a couple of seats, then so what.

I can see saving a seat or two...parent running late from work trying to get there. Saving lots of seats is another story.

If someone genuinely can't get there in time and doesn't want to miss the show, I could see saving seat or two. If it was us, and one of us came in late, we typically stand at the back or take seat in the rear so as not to disturb the concert, etc.

We have a set of moms who every concert stand in line and then take 1-2 of the very front rows. No one else can sit there - they save them. And it's just for their friends who don't want to stand in line. If their friends don't make it, or they don't use up all the seats, these women go through the auditorium and ask their next closest friends if they want to move up. That ... I find a bit funny.

Was this one of those all-day-long events where groups of parents and other audience members come and go, perform and are judged but then depart if they don't advance? The kind of event where High School Band X is playing at around 9:30 a.m. and Band Y might not play until 3:30 p.m., Band Z later still, so the audience ebbs and flows all day long?

Not clear if that's the case here or if folks were getting seats very early for just one show in the evening. But if the former is the case, well, I'd be peeved if the band I wanted to see was playing in one hour's time and I'm there to get a seat, but the other people are there to see a band playing much later in the day and they are there hours and hours early to save seats for that performance -- thus denying seats to people who want to see bands that will perform earlier.

If that were the case, I'd probably ask, "Oh, are you here to see Band X that is playing in an hour? No? What time is your school's performance?" and then I'd politely but pretty firmly say that we'd like to sit there in order to see our band's show and will leave when it's over, which is well before their band's show.
Or maybe these parents stay all day long and expect to see the big finale on the assumption their kid's band will make it into that slot? If that's their case, then they aren't going to listen to even a polite request, unfortunately.

In your case it didn't really affect you personally but I would still be sitting there thinking how rude it was as person after person looked at the row and asked, "Uh, can we sit there?" while the seat-savers keep saying no and the only gap in the stadium gets more and more obvious as the place gets busier.

while i do find it annoying to not be able to sit somewhere just because the seat is saved. i would also like for someone to save me a seat if i am attending to see their kids.

I don't see how this affected you? I mean, you said you all were there anyway so it's not like your party was split up, was it? You were smart enough to get there in time to get seats. For whatever reason the rest of their party was late, they wanted to save seats for them. No biggie.

In this day and age with communication at our finger tips, they KNEW they were still coming, even if it was 1.5 hours late. They would also know if they were NOT coming and could then offer the seats to the next people that asked.

I would only be bothered by this if *I* were late and then couldn't get a seat. But this never happens to me because I plan ahead and get there early. I can especially understand them saving the seats because you said it was an ALL DAY EVENT. So assuming not everyone could get there on time or stay all day, this would make sense to save the seats. JMO

I guess if you had a seat I would wonder why you cared. If you didn't have a seat or a place to sit, I could see you having an issue with them saving seats.

Yes, this can be annoying. While I don't mind when people save maybe 2, 3 or 4 seats for people running late (I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they had work or other obligations) I also find it rude when people rope off whole sections for "family" some of whom don't even bother to show up.
Even so, it's just how some people are, and I try not to let them piss me off or bum me out. Life's too short to sweat this kind of thing, right?

If there is plenty of seating then I see no issue with it, but if there is no seating then they have to just accept that someone may sit there even if they are "saving it". Saying you are saving a seat does not have magic power that keeps people from sitting there. If there was no place else to sit I would just sit there and explain that I am sorry but there is no place else to sit, and that when their party does arrive we will see what we can do to fit them in.

If there was a problem with seating where people were having to stand or climb stairs when they should be having to do that then there should have been someone in charge of moving people over and seating people regardless of what those other people were saying.