Paying Extra to Sit with Your Own Children on the Plane

Updated on May 26, 2012
K.M. asks from Streamwood, IL
37 answers

Okay, so we will be flying to CA in a few weeks to visit family, my sister demanded we come out this year, she bought. Honestly, I would have reconsidered knowing this could be an option ... I may have to pay extra to actually SIT WITH my 5yr old son. Are you kidding me? We have already bought (my sister) an astronaumically pricey ticket, chosen seats, and now I read that I may not even be able to sit with my son? Well, this will be interesting, I was nearly removed from a plane last year because they assumed something was going to happen and the flight attendents jumped the gun on bringing out the pilot (children can not sit in booster seats on a plane - I will not check it as that is my son's safety in the car) to talk to me and threated if my son sits in it we will be removed. Honestly, it was on the seat because EVERYTHING I was holding went on the seat! Anywho, with the airlines being so quick to remove children esp from flights what would you do if you were told you were not sitting with your child? Mind you my son is 5 w/ ADHD and SPD, he has flown nearly 20 times from the time he was 3mo old but has virtually no impulse control. When he flies with ME he is the praised child, but who knows what would happen if he were alone. So, would you raise a stink or follow rules and make a point to the airline? Honestly, I am such a stubborn "B" when it comes to some things I almost think I would make a point - but who knows until I am in the moment so to speak. So, discuss!

NO, this has not yet happened, but I see this COULD happen - and I like to hear other ideas of handleing it SHOULD it come up ... I can be very narrow minded and stubborn, plus it is an interesting topic you think not?

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So What Happened?

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/forced-fly-solo-even-family...

Our seats ARE booked next to eachother, airlines are changing at the gate for people willing to pay more ... read the article as well for more info, MAJOR airlines we are flying Delta on this flight.

Featured Answers

L.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

Fly Southwest! They don't reserve seats for anyone...and families with kids under 4 get priority seating.

I am with "Dad" (below) - don't freak out about something that hasn't even happened yet!

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Wait, you are flipping out about something you have decided COULD happen? I don't get it.

Did you actually READ the WHOLE article or just the title? It addresses this EXACT situation and specifically says that gate agents will move other passengers to ensure children are seated with a parent. What it's saying is that you can't expect your WHOLE group to be seated together without paying the fee.

You won't have to pay extra to sit with your child. If you both have tickets, you'll be seated together. Last year my son and I flew from CA to FL and when we booked the flight there were no adjacent seats left. When we got to the airport and checked it, I told the counter worker and they moved another passenger. Done.

Let's not get ourselves all worked up over a perceived injustice we haven't even faced.

T.

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B.M.

answers from Dallas on

READ the article again....take some time to comprehend and examine it. It's talking about how you might have to pay extra to find two seats together when you BOOK. If you have already booked and chosen your seats, as you say, then you have no worries.

I see you even commented on the article you linked to. Calm down....you are blowing this out of proportion on something you misunderstood. No need to get your blood pressure up.

14 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Wow, my first thought was I wouldn't want to be on an airplane with you!

Honestly, you get the treatment you deserve. If you get on a plane (or in a restaurant or store or whatever) acting hostile and demanding NO one is going to want to help you or work with you. Sure they want your business, but not at the price of the other passengers/customers safety or comfort.

Now if you show up and find out you are not seated with your son, I am sure they will do everything they can to accomodate you. Flight attendants WANT young children to sit with their parents, it's easier for everyone. And people are generally helpful and willing to trade seats if need be.

Show up with a smile and a positive attitude and things will be fine. Or you can show up angry, stubborn and narrow minded and have a miserable trip :(

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W..

answers from Chicago on

I frequently fly domestically (at least every couple of months) as well as take at least one flight internationally.

There have been PLENTY of times where I have not been able to book seats together with my daughter at time of purchase (for whatever reason).

There has NEVER been a time that I have had to do anything more than just get to the gate and say (politely) "Hi. my daughter and I are not seated together".

If you approach the airlines (or, life, for that matter) with the attitude of your post you will get thrown off the plane.

I wish they had slanted that article differently. It's poorly worded and, as with most media driven information, it's slanted to get people all riled up. Mostly I wish the airlines would get their sh*t together (but that's a whole different can of worms).

In the event that you actually get on the plane without seats together.....
For people NOT to make an exception and allow you to sit by your son would be crazy.
First of all, most people understand that you want to sit by your kid.... special needs or not.
Second..... you just make a deal with someone in a middle seat for your window or aisle seat. Again - I've NEVER had a problem and I fly alot on different airlines.

You have to get to the airport early. You have to be nice. None of this fly in at the last minute and act all crazy and mean demanding things.

If you have such high anxiety that you can't wait until you get to the gate to arrange seating OR if you are such a b*tch that no one ever wants to deal with you.... then yes, you may have to pay a higher fare to sit with your son.

That's called the price of your attitude.

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Added - per the article, you get more chance of premium seating if you are a frequent flyer. You do have frequent flyer cards for you and your son, right? Make sure you give them your frequent flyer cards when you check in. That should help.

Original:
Raising a stink will get you nowhere. If you don't sit with him, then you may end up being thown off the plane if his behavior is awful. You say he's flown 20 times, and you've tried to use a booster seat how many times? I don't understand that part of your post. If you are a veteran flyer, then you know the rules and it's ridiculous to keep fighting with them. (I hope you only did that once...)

Don't be one of those obnoxious flyers who fights with the attendants. Your child needs you - he has a disability. Pay the difference in the ticket. God bless you for dealing with his lack of impulse control - spending money doing it is just part of the deal.

Dawn

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

I'm not understanding why'd be willing to create a scene & inconvenience a plane full of passengers to bring a booster seat on board that you know can't be used on a plane, all because you REFUSE to check it because you need it for a car you're nowhere near being in yet... Wow.

Do you REALLY think an airline is suggesting that 2 year olds sit 5 rows away from their parent? I mean, c'mon.

No offense, but you seem a little high maintenance & dramatic. You are already upset & thinking negatively about this. Which means you will go into the airport with a bad attitude & ready to fight with the employees there. Remember that you reap what you sow.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I've flown a gazillion times.

My son and I are often "seated" in different areas of the plane ticketwise. Easy. Peasy.

Smile of face. Boarding passes in hand. Ticket Gate.

"Excuse me? My son and I aren't seated next to each other on our passes."
"Oh. No problem. We'll sort that for you."

Done.

That easy.

_____

Trust me... this sort of thing is not new... the article writer is just trying to make it sound new. Individual seat pricing and availability has been around for decades. And what do the gate and attendents do? Fix it so families fly together. NO ONE wants a small child separated from the adult who can keep them moderately in hand, and no one wants a freaked out parent. This is OLD NEWS.

Occasionally they CAN'T fix it via the computers, so what the attendents do is to have the family wait in their area until everyone is seated, then do the announcemnet over the loudspeaker asking if anyone is willing to trade. There are always people willing to trade. Esp either adult who would be sitting next to said child (who is usually asking in private first, but sometimes they are with their own party/children... hence the loudspeaker).

Occasionally my son and I have been bumped up a class (for free, of course), but more often, if there is no space in our class, but some space ahead, they bump the person up who is giving up their seat/trading.

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S.Y.

answers from Chicago on

First off calm down. No need to get so confrontational. There have been times that the seating chart did not have two seats together on my flights. So what you do is just get to the airport early, check in as soon as the gate opens. REQUEST (not demand) two seats together. If for some reason, they can not accomodate - then get the seats as close as possible then make a plea to one of the people sitting by your son to trade you seats. This has always worked for me.

Leave your confrontational "B" self at home. Sugar will get you more than vinegar. People want to help a nice person not a B! Good luck.

Also there is not reason to raise and stink and you are NOT "going to make a point to the airlines" so just forget that.

Good luck.

9 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

After the flight from hell we just had with our 3 kids, I'd GLADLY let them sit with someone else during a flight :)

ETA:
For future reference, be sure that any child restraint device you try to bring on the plane has the "FAA Approved" sticker on it. Not all of them do, and if not, they will not allow you to put your child in it during the flight.

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

The additional $25 charge is for the premier seating of the isle or window, not to keep parents apart from their children. This is to give priority to those travelers that actually fly often and have some sort of status or are willing to pay extra). The airlines are businesses and have increased costs as well (so you pay to check bags, early check on fees, headset charges, pay for food...you get it).

Why in the world would you fight with the flight attendants and think you can win that battle?? The airlines are not quick to remove children, they will remove parents that can't behave though (it's actually pretty entertaining from my seat). This is a time where you need to be friendly and kind, not combative. They will work with you if you show your manners.

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J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

If you are in general seating then be sure to get to the gate on time and tell the flight attendants that you need to sit with your son. Also most people will be willing to trade seats so that you will be with your child so I wouldn’t worry about that. The only area your son is not allowed to sit in are the seats on the wings, everyone must be 16 and over to sit there in case of an emergency exit.

They have never allowed booster seats on planes and it is not like driving in a car, the seat belt is enough.

Don't be stubborn, rude or close minded when you board and you will find it to be more of a pleasant experience. I have to say I get annoyed with people that act the way you have described because THEY are the ones that hold up the plane from leaving and cause delays for all the other flights going out after that one. When I see people acting so badly I don’t blame the airlines for kicking them off the flights.

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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

Wait....so this hasn't even happened yet? This is all about the news story?

Call the airlines, you sound like a very pleasant customer for whom I'm sure they would rather work out the details in advance.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

The last time we flew as a family of 5 we spent about 30 minutes at the check-in area before security and they got us seats together on both of our flights down and both back. Most people are accomodating.

I say if the airlines really want to put my 5 year old (who can be a challenge at times) next to some other passenger, good luck to the passenger and the people in front of my son because he will surely kick them at least once every ten minutes.

I don't think this will "fly" (haha) for an extended period of time. Just be nice and ask to be seated together. I also think if your seats are already chosen, then you should still get them,

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

It shouldn't be a problem for your flight since you already booked . . . and if it were I would say to the agent "great, I need a break anyway." (just kidding)

Personally I'm fed up with flying and avoid it whenever possible.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

They will NOT let your 5 year old sit by himself. If you read about this carefully you will note that it may be the case that not both parents will be seated with the child, but at least one parent WILL be seated next to the kid.

Their whole reasoning is that they are opening up seats for frequent flyers. Well, guess what: no business traveler that I know wants to sit next to a squirmy 5 year old on a flight. SERIOUSLY! And especially not if that kids parents are seated nowhere close! That is just ridiculous. Even if they didn't reassign seats, I bet you 100% of people will GLADLY switch with you so they don't have to sit next to a squirmy kid without his or her parents.

Personally I think this will be more of a problem for couples wanting to sit together and families with older kids. It still SUCKS - but that is airlines for you.

In the meanwhile we avoid flying like the pest and only do so when absolutely necessary. I hate it so much (just the hassle of it not the actual flying) that we actually scrapped our annual trip to Europe partially because of that.

Good luck!

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

This was a Brian WIlliams report recently. They are charging more for aisle seats or window seats, but only in the back portion of the plane, where seats are cheaper. It's not that they charge more to sit with a child. It's just the middle seat - the one noone wants - is cheaper than the aisle and window - the ones every body wants. It sucks, but it's good busines..
THe story can be seen on ABC News, but the reccomendations were to go ahead and book seperate seats.
1) Call closer to the time of the trip. They release some of the seats they were holding for breeavement, airline empolyee, handicapped. If they dont get sold, they will let you swap out at no charge.
2) Ask the boarding agent to help. They may be able to move things around for you.
3) He said worst case scenario is a direct appeal to the passengers. EVERYBODY on baord would rather you sit with your own child, so they will be more than glad to trade seats in order to make that happen.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

If you approach the customer service reps at the airport or before with a nice attitude, they will usually bend over backwards to help.

When someone approaches them rudely, with attitude, and acting like the world revolves around them... then they will dig in their heels and not make things so easy.

Same with me... treat me with kindness and respect I'll go out of my way to assist you but you come at me with a holier than thou attitude, I will make your life miserable.

NO adult wants to sit with a child who is not their own on a plane and MOST people if treated nicely will kindly switch seats to make it easier for you in the event the airport personnel could not change the seats.

I am also one of the passengers that don't mind seeing someone getting bumped off a flight if they are wasting time, being demanding and throwing tantrums and making everyone late. Some people act as if it is all about them.... it is not.

Go in with kindness and a good attitude and you will get a lot further.

Have fun on your trip.

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J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

We have flown several times with our daughter through Allegiant. We never pay for a prepaid seat, and we have never been split up. I think that only the most idiotic airlines wouldn't do everything in their power to keep families together.

I can't see many people wanting to sit next to a crying 5 year old who just wants his mom

ETA: I honestly think this is just a scare tactic to get you to pay the extra 25 dollars, A SEAT, so you can sit together.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Why didn't you just book seats next to each other? I really don't understand what happened since every time I fly I have booked or my agent has booked seats next to the people I am flying with.

What happened that your seats aren't next to each other?

Okay so you already have the tickets bought, what does that article have to do with you? It appears to be talking about at the point of sale you will pay more for window seats. So what, there is nothing wrong with the two middle seats.

Can you tell I am really confused?

No it clearly says they are reserving these seats, if you want them you pay more when you are booking. There is not a thing in that article that says they are bumping people from their reserved seats! Seems like you just flipped a nut over nothing. I can assure you I read the article, I am having my doubts you did or at least understood it.

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Honestly, if it were me, I would just wait til we got on the plane and said, "oh my gosh, my son can't sit by himself! Will someone switch with us?" I'm sure whoever is scheduled to sit next to him will happily switch with you. I mean, who is going to want to sit by him WITHOUT you there? I'm not a good flyer and this happened to my husband and I when we got on the plane. I just told the person next to me that I'm not a good flyer and do they mind switching with my hubby and they did. No big deal. I think you are worried before you need to be. Good luck.

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J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I have never heard of this. If they try to split the two of you up because someone paid more to sit in your seat, I would look at the person who paid more, and the flight attendant and say "Sure, you can sit next to him. Here's his juice, his snacks, his toys, his crayons and coloring books...have fun. I'll be back there relaxing with a cocktail."

I'm sure the person who paid more would be like "Damn...um, no."

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

Airlines are not charities. They have gone bankrupt so many times it's unbelievable. Yet some people expect them to not charge for what they can. It's a free country. Don't fly if you don't want to. Drive. The airlines aren't making you use their service. Some people are willing to pay for a certain seat. That should be their right. You can pay too or take your chances. How is that unfair? You're so much more special bc you're flying with a child? Your business is peanuts to them vs the business travelers who are the ones regularly spending money, and not on bargain fares, that keep the airlines afloat for now. If I want to be sure to sit next to my child, I'll pay the extra $25 or $50. If I can't afford it, not the airline's problem. It's the same as someone asking for a discounted seat bc they're poor... Again, it's not charity and flying is not a necessity. It's a business that needs to make a profit or it will again go bankrupt or close down. And like others, no idea why you'd insist on bringing on a booster and waste everyone's time. How rude.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

Most of the time people flying with children if you talk to to the flight attendant will ask whom ever is by you to change seats so that you can be by your child. I have seen it on several flights. Shoot my first time to fly when I was a teen I was scared to death so they asked the guy beside my cousin to switch with me and he did. Try not to stress about it too much. And if they wont switch at first if he acts up they might reconsider!!!

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

If they tried to seat me away from my ADHD 5 year old child, I'd say go ahead because sooner than you think, he person who IS seated next to him is going to ask me if I want to trade seats. Let's face it, a perfect stranger is NOT going to want to put up with a hyperactive child on an airplane. I know I would gladly give up my seat; I might even volunteer to ride in the baggage area!

Just paste a smug smile on your face and go for it!

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B.E.

answers from New York on

This has happened to me 4 times in the last 2 years. Last year our flights were booked, our seats were selected, and suddenly I found out at the airport that my son had been shifted 5 rows up. He was 4 at the time. On the plane someone switched and my son was able to sit across the aisle from me, which worked out OK. Unfortunately, the guy who switched sat next to a teenager who spilled her orange juice all over him and he proceeded to set up a big stink about being too nice about switching his seat and how he was never going to do it again. Sigh.

This year, again, tickets bought, seats reserved. Get to the airport and I find out again our seats are suddenly rows apart and, even worse, I have somehow been relegated to standby. How the heck does that happen? And are you saying you're going to take my 5-year old son on the plane and not me?

The people at the gate were sympathetic and finagled seats together, but it is completely RIDICULOUS! Especially when you book the seats way in advance, as I did. The first airline was Delta, the second was United. We had issues both flying out and back. Unnecessary stress for me each time.

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P.B.

answers from Spartanburg on

What? That's just ridiculous. In 6 years of flying Delta both domestically and internationally, this has never occurred. If we (my son and I) had distant seats, it would be the flight attendant's job to find someone to switch so we could be together. No extra money paid.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

what airline? can't you pick the seats in advance?
there are things worth making a stink about. i'd be pretty pissy about this one myself.
i'd probably make sure the potential seat-mate of my son knew what sort of a flight they were in for. that would probably be enough to fix the problem right there.
;) khairete
S.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Relax:) I can tell you're very anxious about the flight. I fly with my three boys (6, 4, and 1) all the time. There was one time that the only way to pick our seats was to pay extra. I called the airlines because I thought that was a mistake. She said it was not. She assured me that they would NOT seat young children away from their parent(s). It would be handled at the gate. It was not a problem.

Trust me, if the airline won't arrange for you to sit together, I'm sure a kind passenger would switch seats. Most people would not choose to sit next to a 5 year old that isn't theirs.

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Unlike some others, I HAVE had a bad experience with this. My girls were in 5th and 2nd grade the last time we flew as a family. I had purchased the tickets farther in advance than I could select seats. Then I forgot to go back in to the airline web site and select specific seats. I know that was my fault, but still, the airline personnel at the gate for our return trip DID NOT CARE and DID NOT HELP us at all. All four of us were separated. My 10 year old was very fearful and actually sobbing, and yet no one tried to help us. Finally, one kind person offered to switch seats so at least our kids could sit together about 10 rows behind me. I looked back every so often to see my DD crying. Thank goodness it wasn't a very rough flight. Well, I learned my lesson, and just 2 days ago I went in and paid an extra $62.00 on top of our purchased tickets to ensure that does not happen again on this year's vacation.

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R.H.

answers from Austin on

I have rarely seen regular everyday Joes or Janes refuse to give up a seat to allow a parent to sit with a child--even in this current cruel age...

I will not give my aisle seat but otherwise I am okay with it because I was once the mom of a young person.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

I wonder if an airline came along and charged slightly more for its flights without ANY of these extra and unexpected fees, whether that airline would have a lot of success. I'd certainly fly them.

But in the meantime, don't worry. I've had to worry that I won't get to sit with my husband, but no one wants to sit next to someone else's little kid. I'm sure people will be happy to trade with you.

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I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think you're getting riled up over something that is unlikely to happen. And if it does happen, I'm sure the attendants will try to get you sitting together. They are a private co. it does them no good to piss off their customers. Now if you really want something to worry about, worry about your kid getting groped by the union run TSA. They really don't care who they piss off.

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N.C.

answers from Rockford on

I'm glad you asked this...we are flying Delta in a few weeks and on one flight, we were able to pick our seats so the hubs and I are each sitting next to one of our kids, but one flight, the seats are scattered all over. My kids are 12 & 13, so I say they'll be ok for 2 hours. My husband is not so happy about it...we'll all be on the same plane...just not together. He is hoping to request to the nice people we are flying w/, that may some will switch seats so we may at least be closer together.

We haven't flown since '05, so aren't sure what to expect...but his anxiety is making me anxious! GRRRR!

Best of luck in this...I'm anxious to hear how things work out...and IMO, being that he is 5...there should be no rearranging of seats and he should absolutely be sitting right next to you! I hope you have friendly co-flyers and someone steps up and helps out!

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N.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I heard this recently on the news. Our local folks did a story on how "elite" passengers pay for those aisle and window seats and that adds to the breaking up of families who do not pay the extra for seats together. And that if families wanted to ensure seating together their best bet was to pay for it like the others do. They also criticized the nickle and diming to death of the airlines!

Part of their story point was, why would they want to give up their seats to accommodate a family grouping when they DID pay extra for those seats?

I do not fly (almost never)...just not in my pay group or lifestyle unfortunately (fortunately?? LOL). Just relating what I though was an interesting bit of the story and how it trickled down locally....

Good luck!

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

Hi mama, I think you are stressing yourself out over nothing. An airline will never let a minor fly unattended like that, especially a small child. I've had it happen on numerous occasions where you check in and the tickets spit out seats that are not with each other. You simply change your seats at the gate. They always fix the problem so that you are seated next to your child. Even with these new procedures, you'll be fine. Relax and enjoy the trip!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Honestly I kind of thought this was funny. I know you are stressed out but what the heck???

Let them seat him elsewhere, they would be coming to get you within 15 minutes of the plane taking off...they would be going nuts! I would tell him if I wasn't sitting next to him to have fun, mind of course, but knock himself out.

If he acted totally normal it would fall on them to seat you together. If he did well then you would get a break.....

I can't imagine what they are thinking to not insist a child that age have a related adult sitting next to him or not let him ride.

I think their thinking could backfire on them so badly. He could have quite a bit of fun with them before they came to get you too.

I would always make sure to mention to the staff that you wanted to sit by him since he is younger. If they refuse then make sure to confirm that you need to sit by him and they are choosing for you to not sit by him. Then go sit where they tell you to. I would worry a bit but he might do very well, he might not and then you'd be validated.

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