Engagement Party Gift or Not to Gift?

I think that etiquette is that you bring a gift - probably the equivalent of what you would bring to a shower. If you will also be going to the wedding and will be bringing a gift to that, I would bring a smaller engagement gift, but that's just me. If you're also going to get invited to the shower, I'd make it even smaller. Maybe something off the registry for the engagement gift and a small monetary gift for the wedding? Anyway, I would at least bring something. Have fun!

Assuming that they probably don't have many nice household items (if the bride is from Japan, I can't imagine she brought much "stuff" with her, and military men usually travel light), I would suggest that you look up their registry and buy something from that. If they don't yet have a registry, then a gift card to Williams-Sonoma or Macy's would be nice. Or, if you know they like to cook, maybe get then a nice All-Clad pan, baking dishes, or something like that. I like to give household items for engagement parties for younger couples, because it gives them a little head start on setting up their household. For second marriages, or people who have a ton of household items already, then you could go with a spa gift certificate, or some other "treat" they can enjoy together.

Yes, a gift should be given. Just to let you know, the Japanese people are HUGE gift-givers. Every occasion results in a gift, a beautifully wrapped, usually expensive gift, although it's always given with a humble "well, it's really not much and a quite boring item, but please accept this gift". If this is her first time in the US, she might be quite culture shocked, so if you have access to a Japanese department store like Takashimaya or even if you can get something from their online store delivered to them, it might help her transition. I grew up in Japan and moved here for college and had MAJOR culture shock, even though I'm American and was a foreigner in Japan, it was still a huge transition to live in the US. So she might be quite overwhelmed being here. A thoughtful gift that is familiar to her will certainly be appreciated.

I agree with the nice bottle of wine :) Maybe a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant? Or to a really nice japanese restaurant...

Have a wonderful time!

A nice bottle of champagne or wine to help celebrate might be right. Without knowing the couple it is hard to say for sure.

The best gift we received was our invitation framed. It still hangs on our bedroom wall 8 years after we got married. A memory forever...

I would ask the folks who are throwing the party. My parents always had some sort of barbeque or some type of party to celebrate an engagement, and the people attending usually chipped in for the gift, WHICH WAS THE WEDDING GIFT!! It was usually something big, like the complete silverware set or something. I think they did this party so that everyone could really meet and greet the spouse in a relaxed way that was not the wedding day. It was more of a shower, really. If you think of it as a shower, then yes, a gift is appropriate. Find out from the party thrower what the intent is.

Hello, I also have never been to an engagement party. However, I would maybe get a gift card to a restaurant where they could go together and have a nice evening. I don't know what else you could buy for them now. There will be a time for gifts later.
K. K.

For engagement parties you do not need to bring a gift. If you like though a bottle of champagne or wine is always fine for those that drink or if they are having a large wedding a wedding planner (folder or book) is a nice addition. You can also give them things like a gift certifcate for a photo studio to take engagement photos and a picture frame. I know many manners columns say a gift certificate is not a gift however they really are so a gift certificate to a restaurant would also be nice you could right a nice card or not to tell them that dinner is on you and you hope that they will spend as much quality time together as they can and take a break from soem of their wedding planning.

Yes a gift is very appropriate...Something nice and classy is alway good..some type of decor for their house if they are already living together, nice bottle of wine with a set of wine glasses...

If you have a Japanese shop in town.... you could get them a gift there... maybe a set of Sake cups and a serving carafe... and a tray.
And with a nice bottle of sake or a special Japanese wine.
That would be real nice.
Or a Japanese tea set.... or a set of eating bowls....
I'm sure she will really appreciate that deeply. The Japanese culture, has a deep appreciation for the intention of a gift.. and the feelings/ceremonial traditions behind it.
Oh and a nice pair of Japanese chop sticks. That is ALWAYS very nice... they have real nice ones, at the Japanese shops. Just ask the store clerk.
I'm sure, she will 'miss' many Japanese foods/things, since moving here.
AND, I would, for the wedding gift, get them a nice set of Japanese place settings, dishes etc. She will feel more at 'home' cooking with them, for her new husband.

I come from an Asian culture being that my State is largely Asians.

California, has a Japanese area right? Gardena was it? Maybe you can find something there.

good luck,
Susan

how about a picture frame or a digital frame....a set of champagne glasses....a restaurant gift certificate.....tickets to a play.....a gift certificate to a nice store like williams sonoma or harry & david, crate & barrel, pottery barn.

It is not required but a few people gave me some small gifts: picture frames (a personalized one w/ our engegement date enscribed from things remembered was one), matching beach towels (right before summer), there was one really cool book that the couple fills in about how they met and their courtship. I went to Barnes n nobles and bought another for when by bro in law got engaged. Since she is from Japan maybe something special to welcome here and introduce your family to her. Or take them out to dinner to welcome her. I do not think anything is expected at theses things but it's always a nice suprise when someone takes the time to offer.

I have always brought a nice gift from the list from where they registered. I sometimes do a second gift at the wedding too if I am really close to the couple. If you are financially able maybe you could do both. If it is stretching things a bit then take the gift to the engagement party and then just a card at the wedding.

Hi A. R.,
We received a nice set of champagne flutes(we used for our first toast at our reception). We also received a few other thoughtful things to help us prepare for our wedding-gift cards, bottles of wine, inspirational books, cards, advice, etc. Anything thoughtful to let the couple know you are thinking of them! I certainly think that your presence and a card is plenty though. Enjoy! :)

Normally a nice card is sufficient. If you do give a nice engagement gift, then you're not obligated to offer a wedding gift. Some people just give some money for both occasions. Have fun at the party. :D

I agree with the other posters. Bring something for the party like wine, champagne, a cheese tray, cookies, etc. Or just a nice card congratulating them would also be fine.