Emotional Child When Going to School

I'm not sure how your son's school is set up, but I drop my daughters (5 and 8) off at the front of the school, watch them go inside, and leave. Is there a reason for you to walk him to his classroom to even allow this opportunity to come up? It seems like you shouldn't even be in there, 7 years old is plenty old enough for him to walk to his class independently (the teachers in our schools strongly encourage this for this very reason).

I think if you remove yourself, the problem will fade away very quickly.

I suggest that rewards for not crying is NOT the way to go. He has an emotional issue that needs to be addressed. He needs to learn that leaving you at the door is the way to go. I also suggest that you walk him to the door, give him a quick hug and immediately leave. The teacher will attend to him. The longer you linger the more difficult it will be for him to make the break.

If the teacher is planning to do something such as having something for him to do as a reward, that may help but giving him some trinket is not helping him to let go. You want to teach him that getting ready for school and leaving you are things he can do for himself because he will manage his feelings. You don't want him to do what is normal in order to get a trinket. You want him to learn how to manage his feelings.

Peer pressure will also help. I wouldn't worry about being teased. Let the teacher handle that aspect also.

I suggest that you're giving too much emotional and physical attention to your son's clinginess. Be matter of fact, drop him at the door, give him a quick hug and leave. At home that night ask him about his day but don't emphasize his reaction to being left at school. Let him know that it's OK to be sad and that you know he'll eventually figure out how to let go. You help him let go by leaving and not focusing on the problem.

I hate to say it, but I think you're making it worse by feeding into the behavior.

DD went through this when she started Kinder & the best way to get through the phase as quickly as possible was to keep the goodbye short & then promptly leave. Any teacher or childcare professional will confirm that this is the best way.

Since he is 7, can you ask him why he doesn't want to go? Also, I do agree (although it's very difficult) quicker good bye's are best. I would try to leave him before he goes into the classroom? I have been in your shoes and it's so hard to see him upset. This too shall pass - hang in there!!!

Does the teacher have any suggestions? I would think that you should drop him at the door... not come into the classroom at all. That way he says his goodbyes in the hall and the classroom is all his. And can the teacher provide something interesting for him to work on as soon as he gets there that will divert his attention?

Is there another classmate that he can walk in to school with?

I might suggest a YOUNGER child.... for example buddy up to a kindergartner and then he is the "big boy" helping out so-and-so. he can walk the other boy to class and then get himself to his own class?

I would say that this is something (unless you think he's being abused or harmed) for which I would take a "suck it up" approach. Don't coddle him. Don't give him a reward for good behavior. Good behavior is the expectations. I think it's fair to validate...."I know you don't like to go.... but school is important so...." type of attitude.

2nd - LET his friends bring him back in line. This is when peer pressure can be GOOD.

Is there a drop-off where you can pull up in the parking lot and he just gets out of the car? I think that would be easier than walking with him to the playground.

Also, I have found that the odd numbered years (3,5,7,9,11,13, etc.) are the hardest years - seems like that's always a transition period.