Education Concern

One thing I have learned from the school system is they do not test real young ones for learning difficulties.... My son (the baby) has been struggling for years and it was not until this year that they are finally doing something. He is now in 3rd grade... the previous teachers knew that something was not right but they did not seem to do anything. What I would do is I would write a letter to the principle... if nothing comes of it this year... I would talk to next years teacher at the beginning of the year and keep on it until something is done... There are teachers that will listen you just have to find the right ones.

I'd start with a thorough visit to her pediatrician, to rule out possible issues with nutrition, allergies, sleep disorders or depression. All of these can cause the kinds of problems you're describing and can be interrelated. Many children have sleep problems that parents are unaware of because the kids sleep through the night, but they don't sleep well. If those are all ruled out, I'd go back to school and ask that your daughter be referred to her school's Student Assistance Team ( I think they're pretty much mandatory everywhere now) where they can do systematic documentation of interventions they use to help her and the outcomes of those interventions. Ask her teacher if she uses something called a "running record" to help diagnose reading problems. Meanwhile, hang in there with your daughter and encourage her successes in every aspect. Remember development is very individualized.

Hi M.,
You know your daughter better than anybody, so go with your instincts. There is certainly a good possibility that she has a learning disability. The sooner you you have the school test her for this the better so that you can know what to do to help your daughter. Make an appointment with the principal and see what the first step would be to get the ball rolling. Don't delay since there might be some hoops to jump through to make it happen. Also, check with your pediatrician about your concerns. Maybe it is something physical- eyes, ears, etc. Maybe it is something like ADHD that keeps her from focusing. I don't know, but keep looking for answers! The sooner she gets started with help, the better for her. Good luck!

Hi M.,
(So what does her teacher think is going on?)

You are great to be concerned and watching out for your daughter.

The testing for seeing if she qualifies for Special Ed services is a long one; so unfortunately, it's too late to get her "held back" for next year. However, you can make an appointment to have a meeting with the IEP Facilitator ("Head Teacher") and her regular classroom teacher, and begin the process.

It sounds like you have a "feeling" about what's going on, so stick with it until the "experts" can prove otherwise.
T

Okay, this opens up a huge topic and honestly we are all guilty of it..... so here is my suggestion based off experience. Stop compairing your children. Remember we are all born individuals and it doesn't/shouldn't matter which child does what better/more often/worse, etc. etc. They are their own person with their own needs.

I did the exact same thing. My son was born very bright, no problems at all catching on with anything. My daughter on the other hand has a severe speech and language delay and has to be in Special Ed Classes at school because she simply isn't as fast. I reconized the issue right away and at first I did the whole....well, my son isn't like this so why is she questioning..... put all that to the side and just consintrate on your daughter being your daughter and her needs.

I took my daughters concerns to the school nurse and she then sent the concern to the school counceler.... There are many tests that the school can do to see if she may be suffering from a learning disability that may be affecting her confidence in school. Her age would say that's exactly whats going on anyways. So, I would go to the school and request that she be tested. My daugter is in Reading/Launguage and Speech help and has earned her confidence back and is doing great in school now. It was the best choice I ever made. But remember, the first choice is to "not compare". If she ever hears you with school officials or even on the phone with another person compairing her to her siblings, than that's what she is retaining.... not the concern, but the compairing..... Hope that makes sense......

Oh, by the way..... Kudos to you for catching tis.... It will change her life as soon as the diagnoises is made...... Go back for that second opinion (demand it from the school) and don't skip a beat doing it...... Your child may never know how hard you faught for her, but your own heart will....

First of all, kudos to you for being all the ball with this, and not letting her 'slip through the cracks'.
You say her teacher doesn’t think she’s special needs then what is her teacher’s solution? It sounds like she needs to figure out her own learning style. Humans naturally love learning, so something has to happen to make it a negative experience, be it a teacher or a learning disability. I would get a second opinion on the special needs, and if you have the money, a tutoring place like Sylvan would probably be great.
It worries me that a 7 yr old needs naps regularly, unless there’s something medically wrong, she’s probably doing that to avoid the homework issue. If homework has been a negative experience with the two of you, she may never want to do homework with you, and a tutor may be the only way to make it a positive experience again. She has to feel successful, so if the work is truly too difficult, that won’t happen. She also needs to know it’s okay to make mistakes or not understand something.
Good luck to you, because the sooner a solution is found the better.

I have studied elementary education just about finished, and I think that parents often know more than what we can learn in a classroom. If you feel that something is wrong, seek out additional resources. Your daughter's teacher spends every day with her and may not notice some things because she is just used to it. However, it could also just be that your daughter has a different learning style than your other children. She may be a more tactile or auditory learner. Try giving her more options for completing her homework, see if the teacher will try new methods with your daughter also. Grades are not everything, but I too have family that was able to slip through the cracks in the education system. Early intervention is best, so trust your motherly instincts and try to help her now. If nothing else, you'll know you did everything you could.

I homeschool my 4 children and had one that was having similar trouble. I was just patient with her and worked with her at her pace. She didn't learn to read fluently until she was 9. She is going into 8th grade and she is fine now. Your daughter is still pretty young and she may be either bored with it or finds it difficult. Either thing is okay with young children. If you suspect a physical problem, you could take her to her doctor. If he doesn't find anything wrong, it might just be her age. Keep an eye on things and work with her and read a lot to her. Don't get frustrated...not all children can fit into the mold that they set for all the students. My daughter struggled so much but she is so intelligent and it is easier for her now. Good luck and God bless!

Dear M.,
Go to my profile and read one of the responses on there- it addresses a similar question. Whether your child is a genius or slow, getting them tested for their learning style makes a world of difference and truly gives them one open door to their full learning potential. It has changed life for our family.

It's possible she could have a learning delay, but I have another idea worth mentioning. Has she had her hearing and eyesight tested recently? My eyesight quickly started to degrade starting at about 7 yrs old and I had difficulty in school because of it. It was difficult to see clearly and I was not as confident or interested in school. Once I got glasses, things improved dramatically. It's possible that you daughter could be embarrassed to say something about it and makes excuses to avoid the issue altogether. If it turns out that she does have a delay, you could look into Sylvan Learning Center for tutoring.

http://tutoring.sylvanlearning.com/

Is she happy? Could someone or something be bothering her? Maybe she is not in the school that is right for her even if her sibings had great experiences there. Her behavior may only be an emotional issue rather than a physical one. Try visiting other schools with her, and shadowing in other classes/environmants. It can't hurt. Her attitude/personality change may surprise you.