C.P. asks from Dallas, TX on March 13, 2009
Daughter in 1St Grade Need Help
good morning ladies i have a big issue thatb i need your help on.Yesterday was parents conference for my daughter.while speaking to her teacher he told me that he was thinking of keeping her in the first grade again.Me as being her mother i was like no i dont fell that way whats the problem .he was like when having her to take a spelling test with her spelling words and when its time to use her spelling words in a sentence she cant do that But her math and everything else is great.Her spelling is bad.Thats messing up her reading when its time to read.he told me that he is going to have after school tutoring and saturday tutoring that he feels thats she needs to be their so i told him that she will be there.he gave me some poster board to write down spelling word a different way that would help her learn and read them in a easier way.i have so many tears that wants to come down .I CANT SEE MY BABY BACK IN THE 1ST GRADE.I truly feel that i have let her down by not helping her.This has been on my mind since i left the school.Ive been on line trying to find things that would help.PLEASE HELP HE TO GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING...PLEASE
S.J. answers from Dallas on April 25, 2009
I have 3 children and my middle daughter repeated 1st grade. When he teacher came to me and said she thought she needed to repeat I was totally against it. I went ahead and had everything set for her to go to 2nd grade because I was worried about what she would say and didnt want everyone to think she failed. She never failed but was not confident with herself and was very shy. After crying and feeling horrible I finally decided to hold her back. I will tell anyone now that it was the BEST thing I ever did. Now she is ahead and a social butterfly.
A.E. answers from Amarillo on March 16, 2009
Best wishes to you, you will have to spend a good deal of time with her. She might have a learning disability. Please take her to see a prescriptive reading teacher.
Now, let's look at you. You use no puncuation, no spacing at the end of sentences, you do not capitalize words, and you speak like you are a teenager "he's like she needs to" and "i'm like she wants to" Good grief!! Model the appropriate behavior woman, act like an adult, not a child!
Please take this kindly, and not in a hostile manner, if you want her to do things correctly, then you need to do things correctly also.
T.C. answers from Dallas on March 14, 2009
I don't know what district she's in, but you need to get her tested for possibly having dyslexia. They can identify it as early as 2nd semester 1st grade. Scottish Rite does it if you can't find anyone else to. If she's in FWISD, they have a program and you need to get her in the testing phase asap because it does take a long time for them to get to her to be tested........they use the scottish rite methods/materials though.
The reason I suggest this is that with dyslexia a person has strengths and weaknesses. Spelling can be one of the weaknesses. Do not just take this teacher's word for it. Get her tested as young as possible so that if she does have it, she doesn't have to struggle as long and that she won't be stumbling around for years without the proper help.
I know this because I'm a FWISD school counselor and the dyslexia "lead" for my campus. I've seen too many 5th graders that are just being diagnosed after YEARS of struggling throughout school.
S.S. answers from Wichita Falls on March 13, 2009
I'd have her tested for Dyslexia @ Scottish Rite in Dallas. If she has it, there are interventions for it. If not, at least it's one thing to cross off the list. Being held back in first grade really isn't THAT big a deal - especially if it helps her be successful in two - twelve. I have a younger friend who made D's in first grade - technically she passed, but her mom - an RN, held her back. The second time around, she made straight A's. She kept those A's through her senior year, and went to college on a full scholarship. She never regretted being held back because it made the next 12 years so much easier on her, instead of struggling year after year for sub par marks.
I hate to even mention this - but unless you're keyboard challenged, I notice some patterns in your post that make me think you might benefit from an evaluation too - specifically, please go to this website: www.irlen.com and see if anything sounds familiar.
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R.R. answers from Dallas on March 13, 2009
I work in a school and my tendancy is to understand the teacher. Believe me, it is NOT easy for a teacher to face a parent and tell them that. Spelling and reading are basic to so much of their foundation for learning. If she is to a point in first grade that she isn't getting it, then she probably needs to repeat. Spelling and reading use a different part of the brain than math, so it isn't so unusual for kids that are struggling in one area to do very well in another area. Let's put it this way, would you rather endure the disappointment of having her repeat one grade very early, and probably get it; or would you rather endure her struggling year after year after year? At this point I could go into what teens that struggle in school do in their high school years, none of it productive.
There is nothing wrong with trying to tackle her spelling and reading problems now at home. It may help it click, it may not. But please be open to a teacher's suggestion, they are with them for huge amounts of their days.
2 moms found this helpful
D.M. answers from Dallas on March 14, 2009
Like many others have said please test her for dylsexia. My daugher was tested at the end of 1st grade and we found out she was dyslexia. Dyslexia usually runs in families and you may not have even been aware you had it.
It can range from mild to profound. I myself found out that even I had dyslexia see I myself was held back in 1st grade. Here's a few sites on dyslexia that may help their is a lot of misunderstood information about dyslexia.
I hope this information will help and good luck to you.
Don't give up you through you your daughter will succeed since she has a mother like you that really cares.
http://www.dys-add.com/index.html this is the site that also has the video on the subject it’s over 3 hours but I think they are about an hour a piece each one- she is a good speaker and should hold your attention
DISCLAIMER: No two people with dyslexia are exactly alike because dyslexia ranges from mild to moderate to severe to profound. Some people with dyslexia also have AD/HD. This site above has good clues on the different types of dyslexia and the symptoms
What are the rights of a dyslexic person?
The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act 2004 (IDEA), Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, and the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) define the rights of students with dyslexia and other specific learning disabilities. These individuals are legally entitled to special services to help them overcome and accommodate their learning problems. Such services include education programs designed to meet the needs of these students. The Acts also protect people with dyslexia against unfair and illegal discrimination.
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C.B. answers from Dallas on March 14, 2009
Something that has helped out with my children is that when they come home we go through their back pack before anything else. I look at each of their papers and praise them for the ones that they have done a good job on and then we go over each answer that they had gotten wrong. I work with them until they can understand why they had got it wrong so I know they understand the consept.
Spelling lists come home on Monday and I make my kids write down their spelling words 3 times each- they also like to quiz each other on their words.
You can also hang the list on the fridge and go over spelling words with your daughter while fixing dinner each night- I have done this also.
Have your daughter practice reading to you- this can be done when you are sitting down together or also while you are fixing dinner. If she is doing well in her other subjects, she shouldn't be held back just for one. Work with her- it will be hard, but don't give up! Dont' forget to be encourageing and give her lots of hugs- I know how frusterating it is to be a bad speller! I had to re-take a lot of spelling tests when I was in school!
1 mom found this helpful
S.W. answers from Dallas on March 13, 2009
I am a third grade teacher, and like the previous post, it is extremely hard to face a parent and tell them that their child may be better off repeating a grade.
Do NOT think of your child, or yourself as a failure! He obviously feels that your child needs another year to fully understand and grasp first grade.
First grade is all about letter-sound awareness, everything builds on that! If she doesn't get it now/this year, she'll be struggling in second grade and years following- she'll be even more behind.
Maybe one-on-one tutoring will help; a lot of kids just need that extra boost of encouragement and it will click. Again, do NOT think of yourself or your daughter as a failure- she is NOT failing first grade. Think of it as "giving your child the gift of another year."
Hope that helps.
1 mom found this helpful
T.F. answers from Dallas on March 15, 2009
Well, I want to start off by saying that YOU DID NOT FAIL YOUR DAUGHTER BY HER NEEDING TO BE HELD BACK AND HONESTLY, (AND THIS COMES FROM A DAUTHER OF A 2ND GRADE TEACHER WITH MANY TEACHER FRIENDS WHOM KNOWS THIS SITUATION WELL AND HAS DISCUSSED IT MANY TIMES WITH THESE TEACHERS), IT IS BETTER TO DO IT THEN FOR YOUR DAUGHTER TO STRESS AND BE AT THE BACK OF THE CLASS THE REST OF HER SCHOOL YEARS.
Some kids simply need a year for things to click and then that one extra year puts them in honors classes. Some kids just need the added maturity to give them the self esteem to get passed bumps. AND IT IS FAR BETTER TO HOLD THEM BACK IN THE k-1 GRADES THEN LATER, WHEN IF EFFECTS THEIR ESTEEM MUCH MORE!!!!!
Is your child a later birthday for her class? If she is a spring to summer baby and needs the extra year, I as a parent in the know about early education, would most certainly not even think twice about holding her back NOW!!!!!! My son is a May birthday and if it is ever an issue, he will be held back with no worries from me because I know first hand how beneficial it is to the child to go from stuggling to "just getting it" a year later and being more at the top of the class or at normal level than at the back. Really, stuggling in school effects children's self esteem. Why fight esteem and education issues when hopefully that all could be dispursed by "repeating" a year? To, when holding her back, you would also make her one of the oldest in her next class and that is a bonus to the child as well, eps in high school: drivers license, graduating when 18, etc.
JUST SOMETHING TO CONSIDER FROM SOMEONE HIGHLY SURROUNDED BY EARLY EDUCATION SPECIALISTS!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, as a person that has stuggled with spelling my whole life (but no where else), I learned later in life that I had very poor phonics training (I learned this from my mom, a now 2nd grade teacher that was reminding me, as a college student, to remember my phonics rules, which there was nothing there to remember!). Try hooked on Phonics, or something simular, read to her, and have her read (I never read enough for myself as a child) books, signes, receipies for you, billboards, etc..ANYTHING. She will see words over and over and sight-learn the spelling.!!!!!! And make sure she remembers her phonics rules ("when two vowels go a walking, the first one does the talking", "I before E except after C", etc)!
Good luck and remember that holding a child back is NOT a failure and shows nothing about your parenting skills or your child's intellegence!
J.J. answers from Dallas on March 13, 2009
I agree with the others. The teacher has your daughter's best interests at heart. Be sure you are reading to her a lot at home. Try to get her to play with educational toys and games. The important thing now for you is to be sure she doesn't feel bad and start to dislike school. Make learning fun, but make it a part of your every day routine! God bless.
M.P. answers from Dallas on March 14, 2009
Flash cards. She should be practicing at home alot. But you can make it fun. Hide the cards around the house and have her read them to you as she finds them. Make double the cards and play a game of memory where she can only turn over two cards at a time and she is trying to make matches. Get her a dry erase board and you and her can practice spelling them together (she tells you a word to write and you write it and then switch and you tell her one - this gets her to read and write them and she's spending time with you at the same time! win-win!!) Maybe she could invite a friend over after school to study their spelling words together. Good luck!!
-From one first grade mommy to another- : )