42 answers

Any Suggestions for a 3Rd Grader Struggling in School?

I have an 8 year old who is struggling in school. he's always been right on grade level (with effort) but this year has been particularly difficult for him academically. he has problems focusing, completing tasks, remembering things and transitioning from task to task. he's struggling esp. with reading and math. he is also receives speech therapy for articulation (has received these services since age 4). he's very athletic and social, but his struggles with academics are beginning to affect his outlook on life. He has a great supportive teacher--which is a help, but still need some advice! Am considering testing for Learning Disabilities, but am very concerned about labeling. any success stories? advice on tutors? books to read? providers for testing services? advice period? thanks!

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So What Happened?™

thanks for all the ideas...the verdict..to obtain comprehensive testing through an agency that doesn't label, but rather focuses on learning styles AND pursue testing through the school system (which is the only way for him to have accommodations if needed).

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I am a mom of 4 kids...19,17,15 and 6. My 15 year old son had always struggled in school...we did testing and after sometime found out that he was in need of an IEP (indiviual education plan). This has been a tremendous help to him and many of his classes are modified so he can grasp the material. You should never be concerned with labeling...that does not matter, What matters is that your child gets the help he needs now before he gets older and the struggles become more difficult. Because I have teenagers...I decided to home school my 6 year old daughter. Do whatvever it takes while he is still young.


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My daughter also started having problems in 3rd grade. She was tested and did have a learning disability. I understand your concern for labeling, but if he needs help and doesn't get it, his outlook i.e. self-esteem will suffer. Be prepared to be a squeaky wheel, it took almost all of 3rd grade to get her tested. Even with the help she was still having problems with focus, and staying on task. In 4th grade I finally had her tested for ADD. She had it, mid to moderate. At home and school, behavior modification was used. It sounds like your son has ADD also. This can be harder to diagnos since there isn't the hyperactivity with it. But there is one with poor impulse control, which my daughter has. The help my daughter received and her very supportive 4th grade teacher made such a difference. I never did put her on meds, but wish I had when she began High School. This is where her poor impulse control showed. She is a senior and graduated mid-year because she had all her credits. I know the help she received in elementary and middle school made it possible. Also this year, her senior year I put her on ADD meds and she can tell such a difference. I should also say that I have ADD also which I came to realize when she was tested. It was years before I started on any meds, but they do make a difference. Last summer I decided to take a break from them, never will again. I was so lost. Which is why I started my daughter on some. I figured she must feel like that, and it's a terrible feeling. There are some good books out there on the subject. DRIVEN TO DISTRACTION is one of them. Also OUT OF THE FOG. I do not know the authors names. I hope this helps, and I am sorry for being so long-winded.

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My daughter went through the same thing. She had all the symptons that you have described. Has he been tested for dyslexia? It is not a label...most children grow out of it. My daughter is in 5th grade and still has problems with math and spelling but is getting A-B grades. Now a days the teachers cram so much into the day that children have a hard time trying to keep up. The teachers have changed...they use to teach to the slowest in the class but now they teach to the top and hope that the rest will catch up. Look it up on the internet, there are 7 different levels. Email me if you need more info. :)

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I would advise that you go to Sylvan Learning Center or Huntington LC and have him tested. It's pricey, but at least you can see what you're looking at. Sometimes they have free/discounted testing. I am now a public school teacher (as well as a doctoral student in education) but I used to be a director of ed. for Sylvan. I saw miracles happen for some of the kids in the program and it was SO neat. The younger, the better, because by high school it is really hard to fix both academically and emotionally the damage of being behind for so many years. If he's only in third grade, there's no way that he can need a LONG program at Sylvan or wherever, if he's been keeping up with his classmates. I'd advise this step before having the public school test him because once he qualifies for special services, it's really hard to get him untracked, which has implications for high school graduation (diploma track and college prep). If you want to talk further, you can send me a message. Happy to help or answer questions. By the way, I have absolutley no ties to Sylvan or other tutoring services, so I'm not "marketing".
I would say though, all Sylvans and/or all tutor services are NOT equal. So choose wisely!

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My son was struggling with 3rd grade as well. He never made below a B and yet the teacher said she could see him as being on that slipped between the cracks. They were learning so much new stuff at such a fast pace, he was having trouble keeping up with it all. He started not wanting to get up in the mornings, said he didn't feel good. He would go to the nurses station alot! When I would go eat lunch with him, he would beg to go home with me and get upset when he couldn't. He begged me to home school him. I had a few good friends who home schooled but they were all stay at home moms. I was a single full time realtor and didn't know how I could make it work. I finally stepped out on faith when my friend said, "J., God's already made the provision, you just don't see it yet." I pulled him out at Spring Break last year, and have had no regrets. Initially he went on listing appointments with me and would get his work while I did mine. I was worried that clients would think I was a part time realtor or wow, she brings her kids to work with her, but God really did work it all out, and the clients were very receptive and respectful. Then, in the fall, my 6th grader said that she wanted to be home schooled in the 7th and my child care issues were solved. My son had actually started showing out in class a bit before I pulled him out because I think he'd rather have classmates laugh at his jokes than at him struggling in school. He said he felt "dumb" at school. When they are home you can reiterate how proud you are of them and how very smart they are. You can change their lives forever. It works for us. Good luck. Have Faith. J.

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Hi, I'm sorry i don't have any advice for ya but i was hoping maybe if you got some advice that helps you,you could possibly pass it on to me.I have an 11 yr old son who's going through the same thing in the fourth grade.We thought it might have been due to the dr,s keep upping his allergy shot meds(he gets 3 a week now)but the allergist said it should have no affect.We just took him to our family dr. they said test him for adhd well we just did that last year.All the testing came back great.He was even over average on some of the test.I just don't know what else to do.Thankyou much and good luck!

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If you are in the Raleigh area, contact Sheryl Underhill at Learning Rx on Six Forks Road. The program there isn't like the tutoring places, ie Sullivan, Huntington Learning, etc. It gets to the root of the problem. Here is where you can get more information about the program.

Hi I am a mother of 2 girls. My 7 year old was having problems with hyperness. I had to have her tested because I worry all the time about disablities. Being that I work with kids of all types of handicappes.My advice to you is don't worry about labels. If your child needs to be tested then go ahead and do the test. This way you know if there is something wrong or not. Then you know what kind of help to get for him.Your childs doctor can set up appointments for testing. Mine did.. Like I said don't worry about labels look at it as giving your son a chance at a happy productive life.. Good luck I know its hard to think about somthing being wrong, but there is therapy and support groups out there if needed.. again good luck!!!

It sounds to me like he does have a learning disablity. What you are describing is exactly what happen to me when i was in the 3rd grade. I was tested and found to have a learning disablity. I went to resource classes for part of the day and my regular classes for everything else by having a slightly easer spelling, reading, and math classes it alowed me to get better grades and keep up with the work in the other classes. when i say the classes were slighly easer, that is exactly what I mean the class was smaler, so i had more one on one time with my teacer and got a little extra help with what i had problems with. At first it was hard being labled as learning disabled mostly because i was afraid that my famliy would see me diffrently. with the love that my parents showed me i relized that was not the case. I graduated high school and collage. And now i am married with two wonderful children. once i graduated high school i was thankful to my parents for haveing me tested and labled as learning disabled. I had been able to keep up my grades to get in to collage and even get a grant fom Vocational Rehab to pay for my collage and tuouter in collage alowing for the miner accomidations (Slightly longer time to take the test, someone to get an extra copy of notes from and a touter) that i needed inorder to complete the work load required. I had to work hard to make it, but with out the help that i receved by my parrents having me tested i do not think that i would be where i am today.

I hope this story helps you, I know that it is a hard decetion to make.

Hi C.!
I am a single mom of a 10 year old boy who has ADHD and those are the problems he has. I completely get that you don't want him labeled and I recommend that you get him tested outside of school. I tried medication with my son but it zapped his personality and made him a zombie. I took him off of the meds and looked for a nutritional option. I changed his diet but saw little change. Then I found a nutritional supplement that has made an amazing difference! He has only been on it for 3 weeks and I have seen a difference in his grades and his self esteem. It is so great to watch him growing! I would love to share with you if you are interested!
Hope to talk to you soon!
Be Blessed!

Hello, just wanted to give you an little advice in that area we found out 5 yrs. ago that my youngest was deaf in both ears.She was having so many problems in school catching on to stuff. somethings she would get some she wouldn't because part of her brain would process only the beginning or the end of a sentence. So me and the school got together an setup this program for her that when she has to test she is in an whole other room from all the other kids . She don't have to rush or anything their is no time limit on her as if she was in the class with all the other students. She sits in front of the class @ all times no matter what. Her friends supports her, my family and church family. Because by me showing her that she is no different then another kid. God is just going to use you to help other kids who maybe going through the same thing you can help them. But I got her a math program form Target to help for with math it brokes everything down for herto understand her math grades have gone up greatly is essences to mathmatics and they have the reading program to.

I am a mother of a 7 year old in 2nd grade myself. My son alos received speech therapy and has ADHD ( and possibly Asperger's Disorder). Like your son, he is very athletic and semi sociable. But I want to get him tested. I was worried about the labeling as well. In the end I decided it was more important to get my son the best help early in the game than to worry about about what others think. Better to be proactive than reactive. My son has come a long way and I believe with the proper services you will see the same results. You may want to try some educational computer games or even some of the educational video games. Worked wonders for my son. He knew about fractions and stuff before he started kindergarten. Try different ways to make learning fun. It will be a challenge, but well worth it. I commend you on the grad school too! Let me know if I can be of further help. God bless!

I would see if your school offers any supportive programs from Centerstone. My daughter has sessions with a worker from there during school hours that include exercises on focus and other areas. My daughter has ADD, inattentive type that can be controlled without medicine, just focus triggers. It is a challenge but it is manageable and now that we know what it is, it is less frustrating for us than it used to be. Her school work has improved also. She still makes careless mistakes here and there but not nearly as much as before. Talk to your pediatrician and discuss options. Honestly, it feels better to have an explenation why your child has struggles and what you can do about it than it does to just sit in your frustration. The learning centers in Clarksville offer seminars on ADD that helped me decide that is was better to find out how to help my daughter now than wait until it was harder for her.



I am a teacher turned stay at home mom and I am sure other teachers have respond to you. I really do not think you are doing him any favors by not having him tested. If he really has a disability then he needs to recieve services from a teacher who is trained to help him. He will also recieve accomidations on his EOG if you are in NC. I have two close friends who I have advised to do the same and the children have had great sucess with school. Even honor roll since they started recieving them. One was a speech only like your son and they did a full evaluation and found she had a learning disability that affected her reading and spelling. The earlier you find out the sooner he can get help learning to cope and he may not need serivces in middle school. As a parent and teacher I would want to know if there is a problem so it can be fixed. There may not even be one. But I would want to know. I also can not stand the word labeling. It is a learning style and all people learn differently. I wish that was how special education could be handled. If that is the case you can tell him he just has a different learning style. And he will be alright.

A. M

Hi C.,
Set up an appointment with the guidance counselor at the school to discuss your concerns. They are very well-trained in situations such as these, and can lead you down the right path as far as assessment and advice.

have you considered having your child tested for ADD?

If you have internet access you could try this amazing website that we use daily in my school. It is: www.internet4classrooms.com You can click on K-8 grade level help and then click on your son's grade and then the subject you would like him to pratice on. There are several fun interactive activities that your son could do to help him with his academics. Our school uses this specific website as a resource to all our students and the kids really enjoy it.
Check it out and if you have any questions let me know.

I am a teacher (taking some time off to stay home with my daughter), and I have seen this time and time again. As others suggested, you really shouldn't be scared of labels. Sure, you might not want to make it a big deal, but these conditions do actually exist, and they do hinder a lot of children (and sometimes adults if they're not dealt with as children). As also mentioned before, he could have ADD (not ADHD), which has gotten a bad rep over the past several years b/c it can be over diagnosed and some kids are over medicated. The problem is that some kids do have ADD and they're not getting help b/c no one wants to label their child as ADD anymore. What is so wrong with saying that a kid has trouble paying attention? I don't see a problem with it. It's a fact of life. It's common, especially in boys, and there are tons of things that can be done for it...some treatments not involving medicine. Your son might just need some techniques to help remind him to pay attention. I've had lots of ADD and ADHD students, some very mild and some very severe. Most of the ones that have parents that are proactive about getting to the bottom of it are very successful. My husband had ADD way back in the 80s and suffered in school from around 2nd grade (which is around when it usually shows up) to 5th grade...he was barely passing and had developed a lot of trouble reading b/c he was so behind. His parents finally decided to try out some treatment, which in his case was medication, and from then on he was a different kid. By high school he was in honors classes and no longer had a need for the medication. He will tell you it's the best thing they could have done.

Whether your child has ADD is hard to determine just through reading what you've written, but it doesn't sound like a learning disability to me. If he's been up to speed until now, then it's probably nothing more than an attention issue. Either way, I hope you guys figure it out soon and he starts feeling more comfortable in school again!

Hi C.,
Our son began struggling with the same issues in 3rd grade. After conferring with our physician, we learned that our son has ADD. He did not suffer with the typical hyperactivity that accompanies ADHD. We sought counseling and received a wealth of information and coping techniques. We opted not to use medication, but elected instead to use pacing techniques. We would give him ample notice before he was going to be expected to move from one task to another (ie - You will have to come inside in 10 mins, then count down every 5 mins). We scheduled the more quiet, sedentary activities right after school (homework/reading) and would allow the momentum/activity to build (outside play, video games) until about 1 hour before bedtime. We would then begin a series of activities to wind down each night (bath, reading/singing). We would also break down his homework assignments into manageable pieces. If he had several pages of homework a day, I would only hand him one piece at a time. If he saw all of the papers he would get overwhelmed and shut down. We did the same thing when asking him to clean his room. We would ask him to first pick up his socks, then his cars, etc. He simply couldn't get past the enormity of the task without specific directions.

We also worked with his teacher to identify the classroom procedures and asked for accomodations when turning in his homework. Rather than having one folder for each class, he would place all homework in one folder. before the accomodation he would inevitably place the homework in the wrong folder, or when the homework was in the right folder, he'd take the wrong one to class. We had to work closely with his teacher to ensure the techniques we had employed were working effectively. When we saw a problem, we would address is right away and change our technique.

Our son is now 14 and he still struggles with some of the same issues, but we continue to help him with structuring techniques and with complete consistency, they work. We have our biggest problems when we are not 100% consistent. That will be your biggest challenge once you find what works. Good luck and God bless!!!

Fish oil! It comes strawberry flavored for kids in liquid form or chewables. Especially good for help concentrating. I started my second grader on it. Eliminating processed foods could be very helpful also.


My daughter went thru exactly the same thing as your child. We found out it was her eye sight, she needed glasses...and who would have thought. Later a couple years later she experienced some of these issues again and we had the glasses and it stemmed from when she and I were hit by a truck while I was driving my school bus. She had anxiety. We got her on medication and she is doing A/B Honor roll work. Loving it for her as she is more relaxed now and also more excited about school because she is less frusturated.

Hope this helps.


forget about labeling your child, and focus on helping him. have him tested for a learning disability as well as ADD. most people think that ADD is about hyper kids with discipline problems, but it just is not. your son seems to have many tells for ADD. lack of focus and hard transitions are a clue. also have you looked into a program like kumon (i probably spelled that wrong) or sylven learning centers? the have a little test they give kids to find out what areas they need help in and offer one on one or group tutoring. they are really great.

Just a thought has he been tested for Add.

I have a grandson who is very smart and he has add, the med he is on, helps him to focus, and stays on target, and the schools are really good about not labeling him. He is also in 3rd grade and it seems, third grade is where things get alittle tougher all around, I hope things work out for you

My son had touble focusing and could not ever remember or keep up with anything since kindergarten. He is a freshman in high school now. I took his for behavorial testing at Vanderbilt. He has ADD-attention deficit disorder. We tried medicine, but he didn't like any of them. We then gave him a progress chart for each day. Each teacher would sign it and I would sign it daily. It taught him good habits. He also has 2 sets of books. One he keeps at home and one if each classroom. He is doing GREAT! He does not drink caffeine during the day and that helps alot. Good Luck!

I had the same problem with my middle son. I had him tested and he had ADD. He just could not stay on task, every little thing that went on in the classromm distracted him. He got on midication, I am not saying that is the right thing, all children are different. However it did help somewhat. But after the school tested him, he was given an IEP. Which gave him extra help in things. It was reviewed each year to make any changes . He had extended time on test, went some place with less ditractions for test and also had his test read aloud to him. Sometimes his work was modified for example If they had 20 spelling words, he would be required to know atleast half the words and was tested on them any extra he was able to retain was a bonus. I understand thw worry of labeling, I had the same worry but the more important thing is that he succeeds. It is best to get him on track before he gets to middle school. Middle school is a whole different world. My son graduated high school a year ago. Had he not gotten the IEP with the extra help, I don't think he would have made it. Hope this helps. S.

I am a special education teacher and let me start by saying that 3rd grade is extremely hard. It is a huge transition from 2nd grade and I find that many students become identified witha learning disability at the 3rd grade point. As far as labeling - things have changed dramatically since we were in school. I teach in Sumner County and I know that we do a great job not making a big deal out of students leaving the classroom. I teach both gifted students and students with disabilities and the other students don't know which my students are coming for. I feel that children today are much more open with students with special needs. If your son needs help, it is best to start as early as possible. You can have testing done, if he qualifies for services and diagnosed with a disability, you still have the choice of whether or not he will receive services. However, if he needs the help then you probably should proceed in that direction. The services for special education are a huge range. Anything from consultation to full pull out services. He may just need a special ed assistant to check on him a few times a day. If he is having trouble focusing and completing task, you may want to check out ADD or ADHD. I know that it seeems over diagnosed, but if at 3rd grade he is still having trouble with these areas, it may be something he can not physically control. I hope this information helps - his speech therapist will have tons of information and will be able to help you also. Good Luck!!

Have you discussed this behavior with your pediatrician? I am a graduate student, as well, and a nurse for 23 years.

One of my close friends has a 9th grade daughter who had the same issues, but only in math. She reads constantly, but could not focus on other subjects. Believe it or not, there is a dyslexia in math...I had never heard of it. Some children only have this with reading, but she was isolated to math. After taking a course and learning how to "see" math in a different light and learning the way "she" needed to learn, her grades have improved tremendously.

This note is not to diagnose your son, but I would talk to his pediatrician and ask his/her opinion on the testing. Finding out now can promote his learning and decrease the chances of him becoming labled. If he needs to "see" things differently, so what? He can still learn and excel in school - just in his way of learning!

I have worked with surgeons that are dyslexic and have attention deficit disorder. One, in particular, told me that he would have to read his material twice in order to completely understand the subject. The point I want to make is that your son, no matter what, can succeed at anything! You are a great mother to look into avenues that can help him at an early age to overcome anything.

L. Mullins, RN, B.S.N

Wow, your son sounds exactly like mine did in 3rd grade. Always friendly, always helpful, but always falling behind no matter what we did. It was totally unexpected, and made for a miserable 3rd grade year. I had considered having him tested by a learning center to see how we could better help with homework, organizational skills, etc., and when I mentioned this to his 4th grade teacher she asked if we'd ever had him tested for ADD. Because of his excellent behavior I never thought of him being hyper (which would be ADHD,) but she assured me you could be ADD without involving ADHD. To make a long story short, within a week he was put on a low dose of Adderall XR (one pill a day; no need to send medicine to school) and within two days the teachers saw a marked improvement. His grades went from C's and D's to A's and B's and have remained there ever since. He's now a freshman in high school and still takes the Adderall (same low dose, incidentally) still makes A's and B's and is excelling in the band. In fact, today as I write this he's at auditions for the All State band! I never thought of his trouble in school as possibily being something medical, but do both of you a favor and run it by your doctor and see if you can get answers. It's made a world of difference in our whole family.

I am a special education teacher and can understand your fear of him being labelled. The book, Help for Struggling Student,by Mimi Gold has some great strategies you can use at home. Also see if your son's school offers inclusion services. If so he would stay in his regular education classroom but receive extra help from a Spec. ed. teacher.Good luck and email me if you have any questions about the testing process. Also have you had him tested for ADD? The book I mentioned also addresses organizational skills and attention building lessons.


I had the same struggles with my son. Learning discrepancies will usually show up in the 3rd grade. We had our son tested with an agency outside of the public school system for several reasons. He had many great tutors, wonderful support at his elementary school but nothing really seemed to change until we went to Leslie Rosenberg in Apex, N.C. for eye therapy in middle school. Our sons confidence rose tremendously. His issues looked like ADD ( we never had any progress with any medication and would suggest the therapy first for sure) He is now in High School on the honor roll, not taking Honor Classes because of his reading difficulties but all his teachers say he is the model student in effort. Also, check out dyslexia, which he has ,also. I could write a book but have to tend to dinner. Good Luck!!

C. W

Dear C.,

I would definitely considered having him tested for ADD. I put off having my daughter tested until she was 10--her teachers started suggesting it to me when she was 8--because I didn't want her labeled either. I wish I had done it earlier.

Right after she began taking adderall, her grades shot up and she started making the honor roll regularly. She just needed help focusing, and the adderall does that for her. I don't give it to her on weekends or during the summer, although the doctor seems to think I should, because I don't see any need for it. She doesn't have any behavior problems, it's just concentrating on school work.

I would go ahead and have him tested for learning disablities/ADD. As you well know, school only gets harder (I am also in grad school), and I am sure that you want to give him every chance to succeed!

Good luck to you.

if you are close enough to Hopkinsville KY you can have him tested privately by the Dyslexia program. I can get you the #. I do private tutoring for children through a company called Club Z that is contracted through the Chistian Co, KY school system. I would be happy to give you any advice with your questions

It seems as though you already know what you need to do, but you are afraid of the possible end results. Do not fear labels. It is more important that you find out what is wrong so you can make it right. Whatever label they give him, rename it, but help him. I am new to the area so I do not know of any testing facilities of tutoring programs, nor of any counseling possibilities. But I know these would be good places to start. I know drugs maybe a quick fix, but please do not medicate your child. Just think of your childhood, basically, put yourself in his shoes instead of being so anxious for results.

Good luck and God bless,


You child sounds just like my niece. We had supportive teachers and everything but she was just still falling behind in school. We did some testing in the school such as taking a test with the rest of the class and grading it, taking the same test with a cubical around her, then taking the same test again with head phones off and a cubical around her. The third time she passed with flying colors. After working with the school we finally decided to have her tested for ADD (Attention Deficet Disorder). My sister was totally against this in the beggining because she did not want her child labeled in the school. I told her this would be better for her in the long run if this is what she had and the school could not label her because their was laws that protected kids from being labeled(well in arkansas their is I don't know about your state). I know this is hard for any parent to grasp that their child may have ADD, but just think how much they can progress if they are diagnosied. Your child will not have to tell his friend sthat he has this disorder if he don;t want to . My niece take a pill in the morning and thats it. I would check with your school district and see if they can offer and providers for testing. I know here in our district some of these services are provided free of charge through the school, we just had to sign a paper allowing them to test her. One other thing we found helpful was DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED with him while doing homework. Get up and walk away and then come back and help. Just don't let him know that you are discouraged!! I hope this helps.


P.S. Good Luck!!

I have a second grade daughter that had the same issues and I did not like the thought of having her tested for add or adhd but in the long run I did have her tested and I was there when the doctor did all the test and seeing for myself I realized that I needed to get her help. They put her on medicines and I have seen big changes in her attention and how she acts. I was afraid of the labels and all but in reality many children and even adults have these kinds of problems and it is not uncommon in school anymore. Getting your son the help he needs is the most inportant thing so I would suggest getting him checked for ADD.

Hi C.,

Please do not concern yourself with labeling, just have your child assessed. If he does have a disability, he can receive help and improve academically but if he has a disability and does not receive the help he needs, he will continue to spiral down, and trust me, kids will make fun of him for that.


Wow! I have an eight year old in the 2nd grade struggling with the exact same thing! He started public school when he was four years old. I had a parent/counselor/teacher meeting on yesterday. He has a problem with focusing mainly, but can easily be directed when told to. I may have a suggestion that may work. Try having him tested in smaller groups. The counselor suggested a low-dose of medication for ADD, but I refuse to. Also, I am a christian and I trust God to help my son, and I am also trusting God to help yours! I will be praying!!!!!! Hope that helps.

Hi C.,

Sounds like your son may have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Many people don't realize children can have the attention deficit without the hyperactivity. It's worth looking into. I have two daughters,both diagnosed with ADD. I would definitely talk to his teacher and consider testing. If I can help let me know.


I don't know how they work it, but I would look up the National Institute for Learning Disabilities (NILD) and see if they have a certified therapist in your area. The therapy is a drug-free, fun method that has proven success.

I am the mother of a 10 year with the exact same problems, I believe that it is a boy thing at times. I have had him tested, my best advice for you is to have him tested outside of the school system, usually if you have insurance your insurance will pay for the testing. (I have BCBS)If the school test them that is where the labeling comes in. Just my opinion. I found that the important thing is patience and lots of it. Sometimes what would take 15-20 minutes for homework would take us 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours. VERY FRUSTRATING. I had Jon repeat the second grade, it hurt at the time and I felt like I had shattered his world, however it was the best decision I have ever made for him. He is now in the 4th grade and though he has to work at it he makes pretty deceint grades. When I had him tested the therapist said that he was border line ADD, I could try him on medicine but was suggested that I take him off during the summer months. We tried Adderall, I hated it my son lost like 20lbs in what seemed like a matter of weeks. Medication is something that I do not recommend unless you absolutely have to. Whatever decision you make, good luck, because from experience you are going to need it. I know how it feels and trust me you and him will get through it. If you need to chat or have any question from experience point of view, you can email me at ____@____.com Luck & God Bless

I have a 10 year old grandson, who was and is still having major difficulties the same way your son is beginning to perform. He was assessed and determined that he does have ADHD. His pediatrician was in agreement with the diagnosis and prescribed medication. We suspected it three years ago and proceeded to get some answers and assistance.

The teachers, his mother and I meet once or twice a year for evaluation, any changes and progress. We are in close contact with his teachers by note, e-mail and telephone. I do not know what your school system has in regards to provisions for testing services, but seek them out.

Search the internet for infomation. Go to Google and type in ADHD, Learning Difficulties, even this site has a web link. Go to the Library and ask the Librarian for information. This is something that cannot be passed on to a tutor.

It might be wise to see a pediatrician and explain the symptoms. Look to your pediatrician for advice. He or she may suggest that he be tested for ADHD or see if his struggles are a part of his Learning Disability. Whatever you do, please do not put the issue off.

Do not worry about the labeling, times are not as bad as they were years ago when I was teaching. The most important issue is your son and how you can best help him. Try to always be positive with him. ADHD and some Learning Disabilities do not go away.

Progress can be made, good luck.

Saturday March 8, 2008

speaking from experience with my oldest daughter... it sounds like ADD..... the school may be able to help.... get in touch with the school phsycologist... that is how i did it... since phsycyatrists are so costly... the phycologist through the system was free for me... she had me fill out a questionaire about behaviors at home and had the teacher fill them out from school then had her diagnosis... then i took that to our pediatrician... and he did a trial with ritalin... without the teacher knowing.... then after 2 weeks we asked the teacher how she was doing... she had great improvement...at school and home... i knew i did the right thing when she came home after the 1st day and said "thank you mommy" i was like for what... she said the meds... cause she could stay focused now.... the dr also gave her a dosage that would only have to be given in the morning so the school didn't have to be involved...please do no be worried about the labeling... the most important thing is to get something that helps your son be able to learn and succeed... sending you good wishes and prayers...V.:)

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