Do You Think Counselling Is the Answer for Eveything?

I personally have never seen a therapist or the like. I was forced to speak to one by my ex under the guise that it is for the kids. 30 minutes the guys says don't need to speak to you anymore, you are fine. :)

I throw it out here a lot more than I do in the real world. In the real world I can ask all the questions I like until I understand enough to help them or annoy them to the point they never speak to M. again. Either way, not my problem anymore. :p

On here we get bits and pieces. When I see a bit or piece that in the real world would have some serious questions following it I go straight to get a therapist. I will not throw something out here that could do serious damage and a lot of advice here could do just that.

I guess it has become my go to, you need to talk to a human being not a computer, response.

I think that counseling can be a step in the right direction for anyone wanting to resolve their issues. Otherwise, what else are they going to do, just ignore their problems and hope they'll go away?

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I'm thinking that a person that turns to a public question site and states that her marriage is "on the rocks" or "in the toilet" but can't quite put a finger on the "why" part of the equation just might be the person to benefit from counseling most of all.
That's not an insult. Asking strangers how to heal your marriage (that you're not sure why is on the rocks to begin with) just might indicate the need for more personal, individualized advice. And that's when I suggest counseling. Especially if there are numerous children involved in her decision--especially then, it needs to be logical and real, because other little lives depend on clear decision making. And Lord knows, the grass is not always greener, right? They need to be realistic about that part too. So marriage issues are O. situation that I think the "try counseling" is very good advice.
The other is children with extreme or violent behavior. That needs a professional, imo.

I think my profession is a crock: ) Kidding, of course. I can't tell you how many times I've had someone sitting across from M. where I thought, gosh, if they only trusted themselves, they know the answer, that its right there but x,y or z is preventing them from believing in themselves or following through. That's what counseling is for. Walking with someone so they find their own answers, client empowerment, not therapist reliance. Some times that can take time. Some times, one session and they've gotten what they needed in that moment.

I've seen my own therapist for years because i want to make sure I am NOT giving my opinion, but I'm facilitating the client's agenda, NOT my own.

I come from the strange position that I don't automatically call my MD for everything, where as some people think their MD's need to be consulted for a cold. I'm of the mind that prevention and healthy living take care of a lot, but I know how to take care of myself and I know who to call for home remedies. But I'd be remiss if my daughter had a temp of 104 and I didn't call the MD. Same thing with crisis or when life is becoming so complicated one can't see the forest through the trees. May be time to make a call to someone who can be of help.

When a leg is broken, we use a crutch, until we don't need one.

Ok, you say please don't be rude, but you are being a touch rude and judgemental here. When my parents divorced w/out counciling I would have had way BIGGER problems then I went thru. It helped to teach M. how to communicate when my mother could not, because she had never learned either. Her stepfather and first husband shut her up the first chance they got, how can she teach M. to communicate when she does not know how? When I lost my daughter no one in my life knew how to handle it ... got counciling. If one does not know how to deal with something and no one around them can help for whatever reason then, yes it may be needed. A parent who is not sure how to work an issue out with their child because they have never dealt with it seeks help. Honestly, I do think that for every person at some point in their life it can be useful, it does not always have to come from a professional, do you call someone to seek advice when you are in a tough situation?

I think It allows you not to burn out your friends and have a 3rd party thT isn't involved to bounce ideas off of. They rarely actually have answers. More often they help you find they answer you already knew.

You know, I wasn't going to respond to this but then I re-read it and became disturbed by your statement of "we need to be strong enough to face the problems and try to come out stronger. For people who can't overcome it they are the ones who need counselling or professional help." That attitude is exactly what keeps people stuck, because they fear that getting help means they are "weak." I was 28 years old before I finally began to learn that there is strength in accepting help of all kinds--not just counseling. Being on the receiving end has made M. a more compassionate and giving person.

You say you have nothing against people who go for counseling but your words about strength imply that you believe it is only those who aren't "strong enough" who need counseling--a very shaming approach.

I agree with Luna that counseling doesn't solve, but puts light on, problems. At the end of the day it is up to us to try to change--but for those of us who came out of really ill family systems, some unconditional support (counseling is really about relationship, not about getting someone's opinion) and learning new skills will help us make the change.

You really triggered something for M., SK. Good thing I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow.

Counseling may be overrated for some because some people are happy being stuck in their muck. From a personal point of view of someone who has found counseling very helpful, it helps you be able to see some different points of view other than just black or white. Counseling for M. helped M. to see shades of gray and in high density color. Counseling can help teach you some skills you never had before such as being an effective listener or speaker when it comes to speaking about how you are feeling. Counseling also helped M. learn how to identify what I am feeling and how to express it effectively.

There are many situations in life that call for different ways of communicating. As humand beings we don't come with instruction manuals for every situation and difficulty of life and living. Counseling can provide a safe and trustworthy environment for cultivating ourselves and others. It can be a good thing for one who is willing to put in the hard work it takes to look honestly at yourself and then move to changing the ways you think that might be holding you back or causing you or another pain.

I don't think that counselling is necessarily the first step, but it should be considered a tool in one's toolbox, especially once a situation has been reached where neither can come to an agreement of communicate effectively.

BUT, if the counselling does not provide the attendees tools to cope in the future or to make better choices, but is just somewhere to b*t** and vent, it's worthless.

I wonder why you post questions, then delete the entire content after receiving responses? You've done that 3x. I think that shows a "pattern" and a lot of insecurity...b/c we are all just strangers here, and I think that more moms can readily see who understood the gist of the question, who did not, who overreacted, etc. But rather than let history stand, you protect yourself by deleting the original post

Now then, what would help your insecurity the best??? Learning to communicate better? How does one develop a thicker skin on their own? Probably getting to the root of the insecurity, and knee-jerk emotional reactions to people who don't agree. And since we personally as humans are seldom good self-analyzers, seeking outside professional help seems to do the trick.

I think people from traumatic backgrounds, or people who live in unhealthy domestic relationships, or have major behavior issues with their kids - they NEED professional counseling. Because if they had all the answers, they wouldn't be here asking us.

I believe in counseling. The person going has to be willing to do the work. When the next problem arises, they should have developed the skill set to deal with it on their own.
Unfortunately, I believe most people won't change. But as for children, they are more likely to.
There are different kinds of therapy. For example, when we had an armed robbery/home invasion, I went to have eye movement desensitivity therapy. It basically evaporated the post traumatic stress in 15 minutes. Talking about it would not have helped M..
Grief counseling was also very helpful to M. after my nephew was murdered. I could not have functioned without it for a very long time.

I think it's kind of ironic that you ask the moms not to judge you but it sounds as if you are judging others in your statement. Think of all the different types of counselors there are out there (genetic, anger, loss, family, marriage, depression, etc... The list goes on and on). Call yourself fortunate that you have not had to use one, but don't judge others for getting help for themselves.

It does not always help. but can point you in the directions to finding out what is truly in your heart.

I GRADUATED OUT OF counseling in July of this year. I was able to grasp the things I needed to control the symptoms of my life, the PTSD and Anorexia from taking over my brain...I may never be completely free from Either...but I have the strength and know how to stare back at it and say ''you can not beat M.''.

You have to be willing to try what the counselor is telling you will work. Because IT WILL WORK. They give techniques that help you walk through difficult things.

Spilling your guts is optional. But if you decided to do so...you will learn how to be free. to own emotions. Be able to except them. Label them and move through them. You no longer have to deal with pent up anger. Or the need to stuff feeling down inside.

Five years ago I would have told you counseling was a waste of time. That it only gives you an excuse to talk about yourself a bit more in the company of an unbiased opinion.

Now I would say everyone should try it for a year and then see how free they are from themselves and the handcuffs of their mental battles.

Even the sane people need to be taught how to deal with the insane stuff.

I think counseling is the answer for a lot of things, for sure.

There are people that come on here and already know the answer to their question, they just don't like it. It hurts or it's scary. Counseling helps them come to terms with what they already know.

There are people that come on here that genuinely don't know the answer, whether it's to their marriage or parenting skills and options. Counseling helps teach them what they need to know to make good choices.

Some people come on here so sure that they already know the answer and couldn't be more wrong. Counseling helps them figure that out.

Counseling helps work through grief, deal with addiction, handle parenting issues, save a marriage, get out of a terrible marriage, know when to stick and when to walk away from anything from family to friends to a crappy job, learn to set boundaries and respect them, recover from childhood trauma. Some people can do this on their own, and they are the truly lucky ones, but I truly think that at one time or another in our lives we could all use an objective party to walk us through some really difficult time.

I don't know, I'll have to ask my counselor and get back to you! ;)

Based on the actual experiences of myself, my friends and acquaintances, counseling (either individual or a support group) can be extremely helpful in these areas:

Someone who's not dealing well with grief or trauma;

Any family relationship where emotional reactivity has overwhelmed good communication;

Co-dependent people learning good boundaries, or people brought up in such dysfunctional families, they may not know what "normal" feelings or behavior is.

I'm sure there are other perfectly worthy reasons to see a counselor, but those are the areas that have appeared to be the most useful from my perspective.

Just seeing a counselor is no guarantee of improvement. Different professionals can be better or not so great depending on experience and personalities of all involved parties. Sometimes a bit of shopping around is needed to find a good fit.

And it is essential that the counseled person be willing to stretch and grow, or no good will probably come of it. A good counselor will probably challenge the client to grow, and be able to help her/him cope with the discomfort of growing.

You should really consider some counseling for this...just kidding.

You ask if counseling is "a good thing now" and I would say that yes, it is and always has been. A lot of the issues that are brought up here are signs of something not working right in someone's life or family life. The problems might seem trivial, but if there is a pattern of poor communication, hurt feelings, destructive patterns of thoughts and behavior that cause problems again and again, why not seek out some kind of professional help?

I am open to counseling and have learned a lot from it. My husband is usually the driving force behind anyone in our family seeing a counselor or therapist and it's hard for him to click with people so we've seen A LOT of therapists/counselors. Social workers, clergy, psychologists, psychiatrists, psychopharmacologists, marriage counselors, family therapists, cognitive-behavioral therapists, child psychologists, trauma counselors...we've seen them all. Right now the family roster is whittled down to a team of 4 - a family therapist who is awesome, my husband's psycho-pharmacologist who is also our marriage counselor, his CBT and my SD's trauma counselor to help her deal with having witnessed years of domestic violence in her mother's home. Is there any pressing crisis that has us in therapy? No, but we have a blended family with a lot of different backgrounds and perspectives and issues and not everything meshes together nicely, so when we find ourselves disagreeing again and again on the same important things, or we find that the kids are not behaving in ways that we like and what we're doing isn't working, we turn to our team of experts and find out what we should do (and then I second guess their answers and get opinions here LOL).

Anyway...when I recommend counseling it's because a question seems to reveal something pretty pervasive that the person needs to work through. It's not a magic cure all, but I don't think it's overrated.

I believe it can help a lot of issues if you find the right counselor it does help. As for it being a crutch I totally disagree with the Mom that stated that. People have issues that they can't deal with so they get pushed deep down in side and times we don't even know they are issues. I try not to judge people since I haven't been in their shoes. Even the strongest people have to go and I don't see it as a weakness. It takes courage to face our fears and take a look at ourself and it takes a lot of hard work to overcome them. Our mind is a complicated thing it helps us, protects us and the list goes on and on. It isn't always right for everyone but if someone wants help then it will help with the right therapist. It is like anything else we do if it isn't working go to someone else.

I see both sides...I totally agree with you that "go to counseling" seems to be a frequent suggestion on this site and often for things that I would not consider "counseling worthy", That being said, I do think that many more people are open to it now and that it is more socially acceptable this day in age. I myself went to counseling for about two years to deal with feelings surrounding my battle with cancer. Did it help? Yes...Do I seek out my therapist when my hubby and I have a rough patch...No. You are right in saying that people need to figure out how to problem solve for themselves, however sometimes those are the people who need therapy to TEACH them how to problem solve!!

I suggest counseling usually for marital problems that are severe or someone going through severe grief over a death, or teen depression/rebellion or something.

For school aged children, it is good to alert the school counselor to be aware of the situation,

I do not think counseling is always the answer, but many people are so lost and confused or selfish that for them, it can be an eye opener. I usually suggest a good self-help book, but most people would rather wallow in their problems and ask complete strangers online, than check it out at a library or order it for $10 online.

Frankly, I'm surprised at how many people consider cheating or leaving their spouse over workable issues without ever communicating to them about issues or considering outside marital help. Isn't going to counseling a few times worth the investment of a marriage?

Counseling isn't always the answer, but it often times IS the answer. Why go through life miserable and stuck when you could have an impartial party give you tools to change your situation?

My friend took her young son to counseling (play therapy) and it has made a HUGE change in their lives. She now knows how to get through to her son, understand his personality and assist him through the anxiety that he goes through. It was worth gold to her.

I would rather see counseling be over used than see people struggling their entire lives with something AND pass it down from generation to generation. That happens all the time and it's a tragedy.

After my son died, my son's pediatrician strongly advised counseling since the divorce rate is so high among couples who loose a child.
The counselor we saw specialized in early infant death. Going into counseling I would have said I had a great marriage... After 3 wks with her I was unhappy in my marriage. fortunately, I knew nothing had changed in my marriage it was just where the counselor was putting the focus. Bottom line, she was a terrible counselor but we were able to recognize this. We stopped paying her $120 and treated ourselves to dinner instead and my marriage was never better or stronger.
I did however see another counselor for an issue I had related to my sons death and he was able to help M. in just three sessions and I have been fine since then.
I just think you have to be so careful with who you see if you are trying the counseling route. I really would hesitate to send my child to a counselor too because I believe there are far more incompetent ones than really helpful ones.

Counseling isn't the answer to everything, but it never hurts! My husband and I have a GREAT marriage all because we regularly see a marriage counselor. One of the reasons we started going was because my husband and I want to always be growing as individuals, and as a couple. Counseling has helped M. in so many ways I cannot describe and I think its sad that people look at it as a "solution" to problems. Why does someone need to have a reason to become a better you? I want to be the best my I can be, for myself, my husband, my kids, my friends, and counseling helps M. achieve that.

I don't think it will solve your problem, but it may help you deal with it better.

I think your sensitive to the word counseling...or you're just reading posts that are types of questions that one would need counseling. For example, almost all "My marriage is falling apart" type posts you will see a lot of counseling replies because I do think in most instances if a couple wants to stay together and work things out its highly likely they need a third party involved.

As far as my experience, I've asked a lot of questions and I've never been told to seek counseling. I also personally don't know anyone seeking counseling.

I have to confess, I feel like I give this answer frequently. That's probably because I had a very good experience with it. It really helped M. to resolve some of my "inner child" issues, which in turn made M. a better parent.

I don't think it's the answer for everything, though, especially for typical life stressors (unless it's a recurring theme and you're having trouble understanding the origin or coping).

I'm not as big a fan of it for kids, mainly because my personal POV is that many child behavior issues have a physical basis. Of course there are some kids for whom counseling is a huge help.

I also don't like when a parent dumps a kid off at a counselor and says "fix him/her." Alot of problems, imho, pertain to the entire family dynamic.

Good question!

I do not think counseling always works the way people think it will. It's one of those things you need to hand over to God when there is an issue. It will be what it will be, and if the counseling helps you get through it, I'm all for it. I think people look at counseling as a way to get to their desired result (maybe a saved marriage) when really the goal should be a civil divorce.

I also think so many people now rely on having someone to talk to that won't judge you or the other parties for what is going on...some days I feel like I need a million counselors just for M.!

I don't think it's always the answer or always needed, but it can be very helpful in situations where one person cometely tunes the other out or a couple can't talk without it dissolving into a hige fight. It can be very enlightening to hear an objective third party's take on what you're saying. I've also seen people really confront life-long issues and personality/emotional problems that they weren't handling well on their own. It can also REALLY help troubled and depressed kids who do not and won't (and sometimes can't) talk to their parents about their problems. I don't think people should run for therapy at the first hint of trouble, but if something goes on and on and on - it's probably a good idea.

I haven't read all the answers yet, but I totally agree with you. I have a psychology background, much of it in counseling, even though I'm not a counselor at present. I think counseling is not always the answer. A lot of people mistake counselors as someone that can solve their problems. I've seen lots of people go to a counselor a few times, and the end result is "they couldn't help M." or "they didn't tell M. something I don't already know." But while there are different kinds of counselors, many people don't realize that it's not a problem-solving service. It can help with clarity and reflection, which can lead to making decisions, but they can't tell someone what to do about their particular problems. I believe this is one of the reasons it is wrongly suggested so much. It CAN and does help in many situations in a different way, though, don't get M. wrong. But I agree, it's not always the best tool for a situation.

I see it on here a lot too. Thing is, if that particular mom wanted to go to counseling, she would be there and not posting a question on Mamapedia. Sometimes, moms just want other moms take on things. Not to be told something that they already know. Everyone knows that counseling is an option. JMO.

I am pro counselling. I think most of the time we never stop and we don't listen to our heart. Often a "sounding board" that has no interest in the outcome of the solution is a great idea.

I think it also helps to hear the things we say out loud, I am a verbal learner to some extent and if I hear what I am saying it often makes my brain go "OOOOOHHHHH!! I know what to do! That was so easy!! I just needed to hear that out loud!". So sometimes it is a wonderful idea.

Well? Counseling is a pretty broad term. While the term does encompass psychotherapy, it's not limited to it. Heck, after only a few years in school and in the field, one of my girlfriends is a "counselor" at an HIV testing site. Some social workers are considered (or consider themselves) counselors, as do some clergymen or other spiritual guides. Even licensed psychotherapists have different degrees of experience, education, and utilize different methodologies.

Do I think "counseling" is ALWAYS a good thing? Heck no. Sometimes, I think it causes detriment to a person or couple. However, I believe the right professional, matched with the right person, can effect change and have positive results

Counselors are people. They have flaws. They come with varying degrees of understanding and compassion. To say that a third party opinion is always valuable would be, in my mind, an over statement. Nonetheless, I know lots of individuals who gain strength and inner guidance from counseling (be it professional/licensed or more informal). Asking for help/support does not make people weak or less capable of dealing with an issue by themselves. Hopefully it would help equip them with the tools to walk through stronger.

I *myself* am not a huge fan of going to therapy. I am a huge fan of asking for and giving help and support when needed, and I am a big fan of information.

I think it's because alot of people say it because it's the polite way of saying... um yeah... you need help.

Funny thing is I've been to a therapist and did find it good. I liked her. She became like a friend. I could talk to her about things that I would never say to anyone else and knew I wasn't judged or If I was she sure hid it well. I think a therapist is better than a psychiatrist by a long shot. They handle the medical side and want to medicate while a therapist usually tries behavioral modification and other things that are far less invasive.

So for most things I think if you could use a little more support or you just need someone else well I've found they can be a good resource.

I think counseling usually is an option when two people can't agree and are married or things that apply to raising kids with different ideas, etc. You sometimes just need a 3rd party to help you talk it out and balance. Otherwise many issues I agree with you on not needing counseling for and everyone seems to think that is the way to go. If you watch old TV programs, old ones, where the kids see death, pets die, etc, etc. they don't go to a counselor but they learn how to deal with issues in life to prepare them to be strong adults. That's how it was when I grew up. That's just my opinion though. Most won't agree.

I think that in some cases, counseling becomes one more crutch. My aunt is a perfect example of this. She's been in counseling my entire life. To M. that is just one more addiction!

I also believe that in some cases, counseling can be beneficial. I also firmly believe that in many other cases all that's needed is a "good listener & a shoulder to cry on"....well, that & prayer! :) Peace to all....

It's just one of many resources that smart, insiteful, problem solvers use to overcome an obstacle in their lives. Like anything else it is abused by some who run to their doctor at the slightest problem, but most people go when they are just stuck in life and have tried to overcome on their own but for whatever can't.
A good counselor will help you figure out what to do yourself, not tell you what to do. The idea is that most people already know what's right sometimes you just need someone with some distance and perspective to bounce things off of. They don't know you well, have no agenda and will not tell anyone else what you discuss. It seems that some people see it as a source of weakness where as I usually think people who seek help in this way are strong and smart to do so.

I think counseling can be very useful for certain people. I had to go to counseling when I was diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). I found it very cheesy to sit and talk to someone I didn't have a rapport with, and I really got the feeling that I was only there so the doctor could keep prescribing meds to M.. I basically talked, she listened, and every once in a while asked M. a question. I didn't get the feeling that she was willing to connect with M., if you get what I mean. Like she had to maintain this professional boundary which, for M., didn't do a thing to help M. with my issues--which I didn't have, except for SAD.

Four years ago, I got really, really sick and couldn't find any help from anyone in my clinic so I went to alternative medicine/Integration Doctor/Naturopathic Doctor. There I discovered that my SAD disorder was because I was severely deficient in Vitamin D. Once I started taking Vit D, I got off both of my depression meds and haven't had any problems/issues since. Got rid of the psychiatrist too. ;)

However, my daughter has anxiety/ODC issues. She's been seeing a Childhood Specialist since she was 5 (she's now 11). Her psychologist is the absolute best. It's like sitting there with your best friend--she's my friend too! (I get a bit of counseling on the side to help M. help my daughter.) With my daughter's issues, no matter how many times mom and dad tell her something, it seems to sink in or is "validated" when it comes from someone other than the parents. We've had nothing but good news with my daughter and her counseling, and it's really helped her learn how to deal and cope with her issues on her own.

Of course, now we've changed insurance companies and she has to go to a new counselor; I have no idea how that's going to go. Her counselor gave us the name of someone in our new company who is good with children/works like her current counselor, so I guess it's just a wait and see attitude.

I personally think for some people, counseling is the way to go. But really, all it is is sitting down and talking. Can people truly not do that anymore these days?

I also think stating you're in counseling is a status symbol type thing, and I definitely think that for some people (yuppies, the rich) it's almost the "in" thing; that if you don't go to counseling, there's something "wrong" with you. Their tag would be that everyone has something they need to work on or something that's bothering them that should be handled by a professional.

Please. I don't need doctors, specialists, or meds staring M. in the face; I get enough of that from TV and looking through magazines. Take care of yourself: eat wholesome, organic food, throw out the junk and processed foods, drink clean water, get your exercise, get a good night sleep every night, keep the stress down to a minimal, and don't let the little things become big problems and you won't have any issues. It's really about taking care of yourself, taking care of your marriage, and taking care of your family.

It comes with being responsible.

I agree with you. Counseling is NOT always the best answer. I think your right when you say that people just jump to the thought of counseling because I truly believe that they think it will be a quick fix and it will solve everything.

But obviously not all the time. People tell others to do counseling for the smallest stuff sometimes and I can never figure out why. When did we as couples or families jump to think they need it? What happened to good old fashioned working it out on your own. Now I know that not all situations can be delt with on their own but I dont think people try hard enough sometimes. It's just like divorce, people are so eager to jump on that bandwagon too, and it's sad. Not all things and situations need to end that way.

So, I think that yes, it can be helpful but sometimes I find it unnecessary too.
It should be considered in the real situations, not just small ones where we could make things right on our own.

I have noticed that too. In fact, seeing counseling mentioned all the time on this site has made M. really curious about it and I may indeed start seeing a counselor soon. Lord knows I have enough stress and things I am struggling with, that my mom and my husband, as loving and patient as they are, just get sick of hearing about sometimes! LOL
But i think as you are finding, everyone has different attitudes toward counseling. My parents for example think any kind of counseling is lame and that everyone should just have the strength to pick themselves up by their bootstraps and carry on. I mean, it's almost like a taboo to them....they get visibly uptight at the merest mention of therapists, psychologists, etc....it is kinda funny. A generational thing I guess.
I will say this though, as much as counseling is hyped up by some folks and as much as I would like to try it one day I fear I might be disappointed. Because I have known a number of people (including my husband) who tried it in the past and found it to be super awkward talking to a stranger and quit.

I like to tell my kids that we were given a kind of "toolbox" from our parents that their parents give to them and so on. In this box are tools that help us through life such as how to live, love, survive and cope, etc. Sometimes tools are old and don't work and sometimes they are missing. The good news is that we can aquire new tools and add them for future generations, while discarding ones that aren't effective. These tools come from God and others. The bible, therapists, good books and other moms and dads are to name a few.

So, for some of us who were raised in some degree of dysfuntion, we may still feel "damaged" but we can use and aquire tools to live a funtional life. I do think we can become dependant on therapists and the like and underestimate our ability to solve things on our own - especially as mothers who have a God given ability to discern what is best for our children. How many times have you thought something first, only to be confirmed by a doctor, etc. Trust your gut and don't be afraid to ask for help when you can't figure it out yourself.

conseling is AWESOME!! It's like having a personal coach on life. They have an objective view and are not attached to what is going on. They add a different perspective and provide you with some tools that may help. Conseling doesn't mean your broke or something needs to be fixed, it's just part of a healthy relationship. It helps us ride the waves of life. Kids benefit becasue they have an opportunity to voice their feelings without fear of being judged. LOVE IT! Don't worry about what others think...because you either see the value of conseling or you don't. You either create the value or you don't. I wouldn't recommend it for anyone who wouldn't create value from it......

Well, I think there definitely is a stigma about counseling that I don't think there should be. Why not get a little help with a problem or problems one is having? That does not have to mean dependency... in fact any good counselor would encourage the clients independence, coping skills and ability to deal with future problems without the help of counseling. I work in a mental health clinic, and I can also add that some people are dependent on counseling but that is often the result of their mental health issues, not the counselors they seek.

I agree that we need to learn to deal with our own problems and in most situations, parents should be the people teaching our children how to deal with these problems. But I also so not think there is anything wrong with seeking outside help, so long is it isn't a way of being avoidant of one's own responsibility as a parent. Counseling can be a great tool, but shouldn't be a crutch for a parent. You have to keep in mind that many of the societal and cultural structures, networks, etc. that once were in place are no longer there for many of us. Many of us do not have wise elders, religious figures, sane grand parents or parents, helpful aunts and uncles, networks of friends, or village chieftans so to speak to help us with our struggles in life. I think therapists for many people now play these roles out of need.

I definitely think that marriage counseling is not always the answer, even though it gets recommended a lot on here (and for good reason). It really requires both parties involved to be committed and open to change. In my own experience that is not always the case, although I still think it is worth a shot even when one of the two spouses is reluctant or closed to the idea ... sometimes there can be a change of heart once they get engaged in the process. However when people are too stubborn, afraid of change, or too fixed on blaming the other person for all their problems, therapy is a waste of time and money!

I am not pro counseling, but it depends on the issue and back history. Sometimes I think it hinders one's ability to be honest with self and what they truly want. In the longrun reality will bite again.

I'm with you. I am not 'anti counseling' on anything. But sometimes I think the same money spent on counseling could be spent on the roof that has become a continuing annoying problem, on a vacation or nights out and sometimes people just need to bend a little and hear eachother. If you need a lot of counseling and see that eventually that it isn't working, then sadly it's time to go for another treatment. And that means, sadly, people should wake up and change their lives. Which is kind of what counseling is usually telling them to do. we all need to bend a little.