DO You Let Young Toddlers Ride Without Carseat?

Hells to the no. It's not only a major safety risk in spite of how many of us grew up and "turned out fine" but it's illegal. There's a reason it's illegal. There's a reason injuries and deaths in children resulting from car accidents have decreased since children are required by law to ride in car safety seats.

Yes, you can get pulled over. You can get ticketed, fined, and charged.

7 moms found this helpful

If it were that short a drive, you all could have walked.

6 moms found this helpful

I am actually shocked you had so many mothers in one group ready to do this. No way! I would hope that anyone doing this would have been reported/pulled over immediately and fined so they would never consider doing something so stupid again. A fine is better than a dead baby.

5 moms found this helpful

The thought that mothers were entertaining this idea disgusts M. PERIOD. I also hated that in the drop off line for preK parents would allow their kids to not be buckled in. We lined up in the parking lot and on a designated neighborhood street and it was like once they were "in line" it was a free for all of out of your seat. I saw kids hanging out of windows, sun roofs, cars bouncing because kids were etc. My son knows the rules are, until you are about to open the door and exit the vehicle seat belt stays on. I would pull up, once a teacher was at my son's car door is when he could unbuckle. I do believe you can get pulled over for it, yes.

5 moms found this helpful

Not a chance! Years ago I had a daycare client family who lived about 5 blocks away from my house. They decided on only paying for one car seat after the child was out of the infant size seat, since according to them, Dad would only be "occasionally" doing pick ups.

Well this meant at least 3 days a week and turned into 1-2 drop offs in the morning as well (within a month of the switch to a bigger toddler seat... Moms hours got changed so they were making adjustments with hours and such at this time).

I politely discussed with them the law, safety, my training on the topic, etc. Handed out pamphlets I had. A week later warned them I could not NOT give them their child, but I could and WOULD call 911 as soon as they left my driveway. Dad did not care...Mr Control freak, "I got this", "what the hell do YOU know, you are just a babysitter" guy said "won't matter, I will be home before your call is over".

He ticked M. right off with many things about that statement. So while I prepared their termination papers, I also called the police, explained the situation, gave addresses, times in my care and the schedule of dads times with no car seat.

A few days later, on a dad no seat day, we went for a walk (we circle the block till we see parents pull up) right before pick up times. I saw a cop circling the neighborhood. He talked to M. (obvious I do daycare..I have a 4 seater stroller and 2 other kids with M.!), he was going to be waiting if he got no other calls taking him away suddenly for this dad.

20 minutes later, this dad showed up, took toddler and drove off. I stayed on the driveway with the other kids doing chalk fun. We saw the cop pull the dad over 2 blocks down the straight-away. :-)

The next afternoon at pick up, dad was there, with a car seat in his car. I handed him the termination letter. I gave them the option of 2 weeks. They stayed the 2 weeks so they could find other care. I never saw the dad again, only Mom.

5 moms found this helpful

I was hit at the stop sign 7 houses from my house. Accidents can happen anywhere, anytime! Kids are ALWAYS in car seats!

4 moms found this helpful

The worst wreck I have ever been in (4 cars were totaled, including ours, when a woman ran a red light and slammed into us, causing us to hit a 3rd and 4th car, while her car spun off the other direction and hit a 5th, with a 6th rear-ending them...) happened 2 blocks from my house. We were driving to the 3rd block...

The distance doesn't matter. Safety does.

4 moms found this helpful

NO WAY. Most accidents happen within 5 miles of your departure. YES, it's illegal. YES, you can (and should) get pulled over. YES, it's stupid. No parent in their right mind would do that...is what I would have assumed. I guess I'm naive, or have too much faith in the common sense of parents. Please do NOT do this...ever.

I would have called the cops so fast, if I saw this happening and could get the license #.

4 moms found this helpful

OMGoodness, no!

The absolute worst I have done is pulled out of my garage 10 feet into my driveway with my baby in my lap because I couldn't get his door open without hitting the wall.

4 moms found this helpful

Absolutely NOT! My 9 year old even was in his booster up until age 8. It is just not safe whether you are traveling 2 miles or 200 miles.

4 moms found this helpful

Never, ever! I'm not a rear-face-until-college type, but do believe it's critical to use car seats the right way, under the legal requirements. Toddler on the lap is just plain dangerous. No way.

Distance doesn't matter. I was in a car accident years ago a block away from where I lived.

4 moms found this helpful

It is against the law to do that. It's a huge safety issue. I hate when people do this, I'm sorry, but the thinking of "it's just a short distance" is ridiculous. I have called the police on people for doing this. You are still in a moving car ANYTHING can happen. And if your child is just sitting on your lap and say someone crashes into you? Then what? Can you think of the possibilities?

That for M. is enough to never, EVER even consider it let alone do it.

3 moms found this helpful

No, I wouldnt do this. It is not safe to ride with a child in your lap, and it is illegal.

3 moms found this helpful

I have seen it done, yes it is illegal and yes they can pull you over for it.

No, never done it nor would I.

3 moms found this helpful

If my house was burning down and the only way to escape was in a car without a car seat then I would. No, I have never done this before....my house is still standing.

I'm really surprised that multiple members of a "M. group" would consider this...on their laps no less! I prefer for my child to not be a projectile and that can can happen in an instant, even in the country or back roads.

2 moms found this helpful

No way Jose! I would never put my child in a dangerous situation on purpose!

2 moms found this helpful

Nope! My kid's were in the carseats until they reached the age that it was not recommended anymore. My best friend lived really close and I still buckled up my kid's when we went over there.

2 moms found this helpful

Ditto Kristen M. I have been in two car accidents in my life...both right on my block...both not my fault. You just never know! My daughter is ALWAYS in a car seat!

2 moms found this helpful

You have exactly the same amount of risk in ONE drive as you do in one hundred drives. It's just as risky once as on time number one hundred.

An accident can occur on a long drive or on a one-block drive.

Just ask yourself the question, "How would I feel if my child were hurt or killed for the sake of a little convenience, and because I figured, 'Just this once it's OK'?"

It IS illegal to go without a car seat in most states now. And at least where we live, yes, you could be pulled over and ticketed (and even made to stay put until someone with a car seat comes to fetch the child!) if you are caught with a child on your lap. Saying "We were only going a short distance" would not have any effect on the cops and their reaction. But much more important than "Will we get pulled over" is the issue of safety.

It sounds as if your moms' group may put some pressure on you to do what they do and go along with the group on holdiing your child on your lap. Please do not do this, and please find another moms' group if they pressure you! I also would never ride in a car with a child held on someone's lap, because in an accident that child could become a missile flying through the car and could hit my properly-strapped-in child, or M..

I'm sure you'll get some posts saying "Calm down, nothing happened to M. as a child and I rode without a car seat or belts!" There are folks who love to post that. But the fact they somehow survived their childhoods does not mean you have to go against your own good instincts. Tell the moms group you will drive yourself and your child, with the legal and safe restraints, but won't ride with others and won't let others have lap kids in your own car!

2 moms found this helpful

Nope. NEVER. EVER. I work in health and safety as my profession. No way would I ever go anywhere with my kids not being in the proper seats.

2 moms found this helpful

When my husband was in college one of his math classes had an assignment where they had to determine the amount of force it would take to hold a child securely on your lap while in an accident. The force would rip the adults arms off before they'd be able to hold onto the child. So no, I wouldn't. I also think its asinine that school buses don't have seat belts.

2 moms found this helpful

nope, never and no way would I, the only car accident I was in was less then an 8th of a mile from home and it was nasty! thankfully my daughter was not hurt severly because she was in her car seat. Myself however is another story...The person that hit M. also had two kids in his car that were not injured bad thanks to the seat!

So many think the seats are just for show, or not that big of a deal but I know for a fact that they are!

2 moms found this helpful

NEVER. Why would I take a chance with my child's safety, when it's something I can have SOME control on?

I have seen an infant (guessing newborn) in a carseat being held by a mother in the front seat. I called 911. My call was taken very seriously.

Against the law, and just plain D.U.M.B.

2 moms found this helpful

It is illegal. In fact you can get ticketed if a cop pulls you over and the kids care seat straps are not tight enough.

1 mom found this helpful

Nope. Never. It doesn't matter what the mileage, speed limit or traffic is like on a road, it's not safe for them to be in the car and not be in a car seat.

In my opinion, the responses about only doing it on back roads, or places you know, or slow areas or whatever don't completely negate the possibility of a single-car accident. What if a dog ran out and the car swerved? Or there was a pothole that blew a tire? Or the little one wriggled free and distracted the driver? In many situations, loss of life or injury can be prevented if we always choose safety over convenience.

When we visited Italy a few years ago we were not able to put our car seat in the taxis or shuttle busses. I hated that! Especially on the narrow Tuscan mountain curves. Even if my then-2-year-old looked cute strapped into the seat with the seat belt. :)

We live up the street from a place that hosts a mom's group with daycare. The parking lot for the building literally starts at the end of our street, about 8 houses down. Since my husband had the car on the days we went, we walked, no matter the weather or temperature. I can't tell you how many times a well-meaning mom offered to drive us home if it was raining or something with the reasoning that it was just up the street and we would be fine. I never took any of the offers. It was nice of my friends to ask but I was always surprised they would suggest it.

1 mom found this helpful

In CA it is illegal. Also, riding with a child on your lap is much more dangerous than putting the child in the seat and strapping a seat belt around them.

Most accidents happen relatively close to home so it really doesn't matter if it's close or not - accidents can happen just pulling out of a parking spot!

I would never ride with a child on my lap. If I had no carseat, they would be in the regular car's seat with a seatbelt.

1 mom found this helpful

It is illegal.

BUT, for a quick drive on back streets with no heavy traffic, no main streets with semi's and large vehicles I have been known to plop a child on my lap to get somewhere.

I do not do this as a general rule though. There is still the risk of an accident, even at extremely slow speeds injury's can still happen. I do think that if you need to get somewhere quickly and have no car-seat a toddler or pre-schooler can ride in a normal seat-belt, but again, back streets, no speeds over 25mph, no heavy traffic, straight to the place and kids out.

It is not a great idea but it is done all the time when someone does not have a car-seat with them.

1 mom found this helpful

Um, no. Never. I actually considered it once when LO and I were on a walk in the neighborhood and DH met us on his way home. Hot second on my mind, then I decided no. Last week, I parked under a tree and had him in the front seat with M.. When I realized that I was a sitting duck for bird pee, I decided to move the car to a different space, just a few paces over. I strapped him into his seat. You can never be too safe, as far as I'm concerned. It doesn't take much energy or time to have a tragedy on one's hands; I ain't giving it a jump-off place.

I admit I did do it once. I was with my SIL, and we put the 2 older kids in the very last row of my van to drive 2 blocks. We did use a regular, adult seatbelt and told them that this was a unique situation. I wouldn't advise it, but I did do it.

It is against the law and it is not the best idea safety wise and I don't mean to say that just because our parents did it and we're ok that we don't need to think twice about it, but chances are you would have been just fine going that short distance. (It's not that distance doesn't matter, it's just that the chances of something going wrong when you're in a car for 5 minutes are much less than if you're in a car for 3 hours.)

We probably shouldn't have done it, but we were in a somewhat unique situation. Later we all left (with kids in careseats) to drive home, but we were kind of in a bind. You do the best you can in the situation.

When they were toddlers no but when they got to be in booster seats if there was not enough room they would sit on my or my husbands lap in the back seat. But that was like at 5 years old. What drives M. nuts is when I see people driving down the road and they have kids younger than my son and they don't even have a seat belt on let alone a car seat.

No Way! Not worth the risk, I'd rather walk... when I had my son I phoned the local police station and asked what was legal and I was told, baby has to be in a car seat in the rear of the car. Better safe than sorry

Honestly...NO WAY....My reasons are not because of the probability to get a ticket or so...it is just I think accidents occur in the silliest way, in seconds and close or far away from home...I rather to exaggerate a little, but I wouldn't want to be sorry for the rest of my life. Just do what your common sense or instinct says.

I admit that I have. But let M. paint the picture...

My parents and my grandparents live 10 miles out of town. They are the only two people who live on this particular street. It is open fields as far as the eye can see. The two houses are separated by a 5 acre hay field. I have, on many occasions, let my son sit on my lap during the one minute drive over there. The only people who drive the road are family members, who know to drive slowly because my parent's dogs like to chase their cars and the cows do get out onto the road every now and then. The only time the police are out there is if we call them. And I'm going less than 20mph.

Now, I would NEVER do that anywhere else especially in town.

No way. But in an emergency, the child should be properly strapped in with his own seat belt. NOT on someone's lap. And only if a belt would fit. I only say this because one time my husband was home. I had taken our van to get to the doctor's office. He did not plan to go anywhere so no problem. His car was in the shop. Well, I ended up being admitted to the hospital to have our son. A neighbor gave him a ride but they have older kids, no seat. He had to get my daughter, 3 1/2, over to my mom's house on the morning to get to the hospital in time for my c-section in the morning. My older kids had to go to school. We had no one we could ask to watch her. So he took her to my mom's house, in the neighbor's car. She sat in the back middle spot with the seat belt on her, using a clip we had to hold it so it was correct on her shoulder. I was glad we saved those. Not on his lap, not sitting with no belt. I did not like it but it was an emergency and my dd is big for her age-looks like she is 6 not 4 now. My son wasn't due for another 10 days so it was not something we expected.

My husband used to think it was fine for him to take her somewhere and just have her belted in. It took a few times of M. telling him why it was not but he gets it now.

I would never do that. I frequently get annoyed that it isn't easier to carpool with friends, but my kids are always in their car seats. My parents live only a half mile from here and I still would never even consider letting my five year old ride in a car from my house to theirs without a car seat.

Glad your friends decided to stay put rather than risk it.

ETA: After reading the other answers, I do agree that there are occasional true emergency situations where I would do this. But only in a real emergency and even then, I'd try to find a way around it.