Do You Know Someone like This???

Not only do I know someone like this, it's my sister! I recently got sick of all of her BS and cut her out of my life. I was just sick of the drama and her trying to make everyone around her miserable. My life has been peaceful ever since. I love her, I just don't need people bringing me down.

I agree with the comment about Borderline Personality Disorder. Unfortunately, unlike the other post, the people in my life with this disorder never outgrew it. One of those people is over 70 years old now and has this type of personality. If you want some ideas on strategies to deal with this, I suggest the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells."

Sounds just like my ex husband.
He definitely has a behavioral/personality disorder and I know that because the psychiatrist we saw to "help" us save our marriage told me so.
He's narcassistic, truly believing the whole world revolves around him. If he wants a certain brand of bbq sauce and the store doesn't have any, it's deliberate. They ruined his whole day and dinner plans.
He's a sociopath because he has no empathy for anyone else and he inflicts pain on others, but justifies it by telling himself they did something to deserve it. He feels justified in "punishing" others. Even adults.
He portrays himself to be superior to everyone he comes in contact with.
He's also obsessive. He hangs on to things and events where he feels he's been wronged, he hangs on to people that he blames for ruining his life but he won't stay away from them. They tried giving him medication for these things, but he refused it because "there's nothing wrong with him".
It's the rest of the world that's messed up.
He is a very insecure and unhappy person.
He does things to assure that he'll get attention (just like a naughty 2 year old) and everyone around him can be fine and happy and having a good time, and he'll start something to bring everyone down.
He's miserable inside and the saying is true...."Misery loves company."

Before we got married, he was charming, kind, romantic and understanding. He treated me so well that people were jealous.
The minute we got married, it all changed.
He treated me like a slave, I had no say in anything, I was to keep my mouth shut and do as I was told....
That didn't last long.
We've been divorced 13 years and I rarely even speak to him although he makes it clear he is waiting for me to come to my senses and take him back.
He got arrested for something serious and blamed me for it. I wasn't involved in any way. He took me to court to get out of paying child support based on the fact that he couldn't get a job due to his criminal record and it was my fault.
He takes zero responsibility for his own actions. None.

A couple years ago, I googled personality disorders. It's very interesting what you can find. I don't have a link, but it even talked about what you can do if you are dealing with a person exhibiting x behavior.
It helped me a lot because I don't feed into what my ex-husband needs in order to satisfy himself. Give it a try.

Best wishes.

Oh boy. Do I ever! It's a severe case of someone who should have been put in their place & forced to 'put on their big-girl pants' long long ago, but have instead been allowed to run un-checked for years, stomping their foot and crying when people dare treat them the way they treat others. Unfortunately, it is usually at the point that the person can no longer be changed, for the better that is.

sounds like narcisitic personality disorder to me with a heaping helping of bi-polar. In the old days they would call that a not nice person. I'm sure that not nice person is a clinnical term. ;-)

I agree Narcissism and Bipolar maybe?

Check out:
http://parrishmiller.com/narcissists.html

No, I don't think it's a disorder, I think there are just a lot of core traits that insecure, unhappy people share.

I think most, if not all, people like that were poorly parented: they were usually not given the attention they needed and were criticized a lot as children. My mother has many of those traits, so I know one of those people intimately. And I know my mother doesn't have a "disorder," there's just a part of her emotionally that stopped growing when she was about 5, because her emotional needs were not met.

Not all personality traits we don't like add up to an identifiable "disorder" and only qualified psychologists can diagnose them. Even then, there is often disagreement between psychologists as to whether a person qualifies as having a disorder and which one. All we can do is distance ourselves either from the person or from their behaviors. It's not about us or anything we do, it's about the person that is displaying these behaviors - it's their problem, not ours.

I know this is challenging - having been with a man for over 25 years (now my ex-husband) who has been, at various times, diagnosed with narcissistic behaviors, chronic depression, anger issues, and most recently bi-polar disorder. But also have people in my life who have not been diagnosed with anything who have caused as much or more challenge in my life.

My first read on your description is Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have bipolar disorder; this sounds nothing like bipolar disorder which is characterized by depression and mania - not generally a personality disorder. (I get annoyed when everyone wants to blame everything on bipolar disorder.)

This is a good resource for reading about NPD:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/narcissistic-personality...

I can think of a lot of people in my present and past that are this exact way. One thing that they all have in common is that they all have extremely low self-esteem. Some also have strained relationships with parents or other family members starting from the time they were really young. Most had to take the role of a caregiver in their family before they were mature enough to handle the responsibility. You'd think this would make them more mature, but a lot of them revert to childlike ways to handle difficult situations.

However, this list also sounds like some mental health issues, too. Good luck dealing with this. It may seem like a good idea to suggest the help of a doctor, but often that makes you the bad guy, too.

You just described my MIL, SIL (2), and a BIL. It IS a disorder! My MIL is finally admitting there's a problem and since she's been on meds, has done a COMPLETE turnaround. She's realizing that the common denominator is her and is working hard to get it under control!

Why are you describing my mom? The sad thing is that I'm starting to turn into her, I'm trying my hardest not to. . . I need to move out sooo bad!!

That's my sister. She's been diagnosed as hyperthyroid, and I've been told people who are hyperthyroid are not terribly rational a lot of the time. She's had the heart palpitations, and she's had several operations to get her eye balls to fit back in their sockets. She's better when she takes her medicine like her doctor says she should, but she goes off it sometimes because she's worried about weight gain. My Mom likes to think this has always been the problem with my sister, but I think Mom's just hoping that's the only thing there is. Personally I think she's got a few other problems that have not been addressed, but then there are plenty of people who are just plain rotten who have no medical reason for it.

I'd say that is text book Borderline Personality Disorder...

Look it up.

Oh and that is NOT bi-polar disorder. People who aren't familiar with bipolar have no idea what it is. It is actually a person who goes from being manic as in thinking they are god, can fly, have lots of gratuitous sex, gambling their money away and not thinking twice about it... Of course that is worst case. To being Depressed and wanting to die, commit suicide, staring at a wall for hours, having no desire to move get out of bed, and of course less severe things and goes between the two. Naturally some have "normal" periods and no symptoms are there. It's a clinical disorder NOT a personality disorder. So no it isn't bi-polar.

I get sooooo sick of people having no clue what it is and just saying that about everything. It use to be manic depressant disorder but they changed it to bi-polar because of the stigma and it describes the condition better.

Sounds like my mom and if I could tell you about my childhood... Believe me I couldn't wait to get out of the house once college began! You can't reason with them at all. You have better luck talking to a brick wall then trying to reason with these personalities. Tried to get her help, but if they don't believe they have a problem - kinda hard to take them to the doc. The symptoms are very obvious and it's a combination of dementia, paranoid schizophrenia and obsessive compulsive disorder...at least all that rolled into one person with my mom. If there's one name for all those combined, I don't know what it is. But what you mention is exactly how my mom acts. You can find your local NAMI group for family support. I would attend these w/out the persons w/mental issues.

Could be Borderline Personality Disorder. After doing a lot of research on it, it seems that many people can "outgrow" or "mature" out of this, but they have to have a desire to do so.

They sound Bi-Polar. There are many people out there like this.

Sounds like my MIL, SIL, and niece - they all have these tendencies, but the niece is the only one who is DIAGNOSED with Bi-Polar Disorder, amongst other things and has a very low IQ. MIL and SIL will not admit that there could possibly be anything wrong with themselves, so they will no go to get a diagnosis or treatment, BUT her mother and grandmother act just the same as her, so I have a feeling they either #1 have the same disorder, or #2 they are just one big dysfunctional family who have all learned all their misbehaviors form one another.

Good luck dealing with people like this, to keep yourself form going crazy/being attacked, you have to draw very clear boundries with people with these selfish/narcisitic tendencies - and form their poeint of view, you will always be wrong, they will always be the victim, and you just can't win - so just give up trying to change them, and instead protect yourself from them.

Unfortunately that is what i have learned after marrying into this family.