I have a hard time sleeping when something has upset me, and same is for my husband... the only differance is I am very vocal about it and he is not. Example "I like to get flowers more then twice a year. I understand that you think it is a waste of money but I really enjoy them and it shows that you were thinking about me before you got home from work and bought them. Also it can light my passion (usually that is enough said)."
He on the other hand, like last night, just sits and tosses and turns all night. Finally I said "are you ok, something bothering you." He was quiet... I said "I love you and you can tell me anything, I will always love you." Well he finally told me that a few nights ago he was little jealous that I stayed out late with a guy friend, he knew nothing happended, but he felt insecure about it. I apoligized, I really do not want him to feel like that and promised him that after the games it is one beer and I will be home no later then midnight. He felt bad that I "have" to change but I told him it is not about me changing but about us as a couple. We have been together for EIGHT years and he should be able to tell me anything as well as me him without the other getting bent out of shape.
Anyway wrapping up my long story, point is I try not to stay mad, it is simply not healthy... it really gets me or anyone nowhere. With in 24hrs we deal with whatever and usually we kiss/hug and sometimes passionate love making happens :)
I do not think I have ever had sex mad, sex mad just sees wrong... you have sex because you love each other and care for each other. I can see why you would not want to while mad.
On another note, yes I have had sex with hubby when not feeling in the mood but he needed the connection (I or he were not mad, I just was not in a sexy mood). Ways I can work myself up... asking hubby to buy me flowers, taking a long bath, drinking wine, eating chocolates, sometimes working out... anything that gets those endorphins going to trigger happy, sexy thoughts about myself. To feel sexy towards hubby the majoirty is me feeling sexy first but also need the loving connection, like flowers or a date night, or something he does that is caring without me asking all the time. It is great when you he smiles and says "hey sexy" that of course makes me happy and feel a little sexy, or the quit a$$ slap/grab which in turn I do back (good way to get a little frustration out of tension is there too, of course nothing hard or hurtful).