Do You Allow This?

Updated on February 21, 2012
B.S. asks from Lansing, MI
41 answers

I met up with my sister at McDonalds and she allows her children to run off and play while ordering food. I make mine stand with me to get food, we sit down and eat, then play. Maybe I've heard and seen too many stories of kids getting hurt or doing bad things while not under supervision. So I make sure mine are in sight especially at these sorts of places at all times.

My girls are 6 and 4 and so are my sisters by the way. My sister kept assuring me (while we were ordering food) that because her 4 year old was in the play area, mine could join him. I obviously refused to allow this. What is your take on it? Am I being over protective? (I felt that was the look I was getting from my sister)

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So What Happened?

Yes....I agree about the germs another reason I make my kids eat first too!

LOL,.. my sister and I did not argue over this. And I am fine with her choice, but I still will not allow my children. (My youngest was begging me to let her go by the way, all I had to do was tell her we would leave if she didn't stop and that worked. We've left places before so she knows I mean business.) I mostly don't allow my children because I have seen kids unattended in this play area and similar ones and many of them do things they shouldn't be doing.

I will again stress that I did NOT fight with my sister about this, nor do we ever have parenting fights. Nor do I feel superior to my sister, if she chooses to let her kids go, that is fine by me, but mine aren't. I was just curious to find out if others thought I was being overprotective. I watch my kids like crazy in public places...mostly because I know they can be influenced easily...as they are still young kids who are learning. I can't stress enough how often I see kids doing things they shouldn't in these type of play areas such as climbing on the outside of the play area. Their parent is no where to be found. I also used to work at a video store where parents would let their kids wander off while they picked out their own movies only to find their kids TOTALLY destroyed the kids wall. These are the things I mostly want to prevent outside of eating before playing and the germs.

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I know of a 12 year old boy who hung out in the tunnel and molested kids. An old man sat near the bathroom and followed a boy in and molested him, then left. They never caught him.

I was molested and would not wish it on anyone. I don't allow these things because of OTHER people. Good for you.

5 moms found this helpful

J.U.

answers from Washington DC on

To answer the question, No. Do I feel I am over protective, No. It's really personal choice as well as different parenting. You did what you felt comfortable with.

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

I allow it. My kids take off and play while I order. I get everything set up, they come to the table, sanitize hands, eat, and then are back off playing.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think it makes a hill of beans worth of a difference and this is more about a silly argument among sisters. You are not being overprotective and your sister is not negligent.

13 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I always let mine run and play from a pretty young age (like 3) but the area was well contained and easy to see while I was ordering the food.
I think it's a choice based on the size, location, safety, the maturity of your children and YOUR comfort level, no right or wrong!
Oh, and as far as them sitting down and eating? I didn't really care if they finished their food or not, it's not like I REALLY wanted them eating it in the first place, it was just a treat for them, nothing nutritious about it after all :)

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I let mine go. They dont want to be anywhere but the play area so no worry of them running off. Play area is within eyesight and earshot of register. Making them eat 1st is like putting a treat on a dogs nose and making him sit until you give the command. Kinda cruel. I order, they run, go play. Then after they've played a few minutes, I have them go to the bathroom and wash hands, come back and eat. Then they can play again for a little while If I'm not in a hurry

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Good for you!

Not only are you right from a safety perspective (aren't those McDonald's play areas off where you can't usually see the kids if you're facing the counter ordering?), you are right from the perspective of common courtesy to other diners, who dont want to be sitting there wondering whose kids those are barrelling unaccompanied into the play area.

You also are teaching your kids that we all have to wait and be patient a few minutes before we get to do what we want; you're teaching them that if they want the food, they need to be present for the ordering and THEN it's time to play once that "chore" is done. You're right!

In fact, your kids are old enough -- certainly the six-year-old is -- to order for herself! Get her to practice beforehand, in the car, what she will say. Have her tell the cashier, "Hello, may I please have the...." and say "Thank you." She will love being a "big girl" and it may show your sister that there is a reason to have the kids at the counter -- it's how they learn what to do there! My daughter has been ordering her own food from servers since she was about five. That doesn't mean she gets whatever she wants; we control that; but she does now have good manners and knows how to order politely and treat servers respectfully in restaurants. It's a basic skill the kids won't learn if they've run off and let Mom do all the work!

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

When my son was that age I let him play. I was not taking him there for a stellar meal, I was taking him to run off energy. He could wash his hands eat on the way home if he wanted. There were plenty other resturants that he was expected to sit still and eat and behave. We almost never had a problem with him out. Even then it was isolated and still on the learning curve.

I never did understandd when meeting other families there, that they insisted on kids eating first. I thought we were meeting to let the kids play, not enjoying a meal at Mc Ds.

Maybe that's your sister take on the place too. I was happy to see many others got it when I explained myself. That also usually meant less time I had to spend in the place.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Do you think that if you were in the play area of McDonalds and your child fell from a slide that you would be able to race over from where you were sitting (supervising), push other little kids out of the way, and catch your child before they hit the ground? My point being that even if you are with them they can still get hurt.
I let my kids run around as long as I can see into the play area. If it's around the corner they stay with me, not because I am worried they are going to get hurt but because I am worried some freak-o will steal them.
L.

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C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

No, I wouldn't allow it. Now you just prepare for the perfect parenting police to come on here and berate you for being a helicopter mom and for not allowing your 4 year old to drive you there. Oh yeah, they will also tell you how terrible you are for letting your kids eat that McDonald's trash. Lol.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Our McDonald's does not have a "play area" any more - it has a computer station that has 4 McDonald's games on them.

When we had a ball pit - we ate first then played. There were times I would allow them to play when the line was long....

I have wipes in my purse. I carry them with me all the time. It's okay to let your kids play and not be a helicopter mom all the time...but they are YOUR kids so you need to do what works for you - not your sister, mom or us random mom's on here. You have to do what makes your world right and if that means keeping them close. then keep them close.

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G.T.

answers from Redding on

Mine always ate first and played later. It's called CONTROL.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

when there are two of us one orders the other goes and sits at a table where they can see the play area.

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

Well...the kids probably really don't wanna eat there either....so if 2 mothers were in line...why not one order for everyone and the kids can go to the play area(that's what they really wanna do at McDonalds) until the food is ready. Why make 'em wait....10 years from now....do you think they are gonna learn a lifelong lesson from just having to sit and watch other kids play while they eat all that unhealthy food?

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C.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

We have our son (5 yo) stay with us as well, not to be overprotective, but to teach him appropriate behavior. He is to wait in line with us and place his order. After he has ordered, he can then go get napkins, straws, condiments, etc. and pick a table. After everyone is finished eating, he is to help clean up and throw away our garbage. Only then is he allowed to go play.

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

My kids can go 'claim' a table, but they can't run around. That doesn't have anything to do with being unsupervised, I just don't want them acting like wild children.

Yes, I think you're being over protective. There is no harm in letting them go sit down ahead of you. You have two, so they need to learn to always use the buddy system. My girls can even use a public restroom by themselves, as long as they stay together. They've been doing this since they were about 3 and 5, and we've never once EVER had anything remotely bad happen. They're 6 and 8 now :)

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K.S.

answers from Bloomington on

I personally would make them wait until after eating. If nothing else it helps teach them patience and respect.

Also, the rules do state that 'parents' must be present. So regardless of what 'could' happen while you're not watching. You're mature and respectful when you decide that we will play after we eat. Or, we will play for 5 minutes and then we will order food and eat.

Experience with daycare kids tells me that it's better to eat first, coming back out of the play area (even for food) isn't going to happen w/o resistance.

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A.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Shoot, I never realized how lucky I am that we don't have a play area in our McDonald's! However, when we are out of town and eating out, my son is required to eat first, then play, whether we are at the fast food restaurant, or eating in the park. I'm a mean mom that way! lol

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I always liked mine to eat first before they touched and crawled through the germ infested play area. Not a matter of being over-protective--a matter of hygiene! I always hated seeing kids running back & forth from food to slides, food to slide, etc. Bleccch.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

I wouldn't let mine take off to play while I order, no but I wouldn't make them sit and eat before playing. I let them go play for a little bit and let their appetite grow first and then they always come back for a drink and then it's time to sit and eat and then they can go play. Because if they sit and eat first they are fidgety and dont eat well.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I used to obsess about rules and stuff but now I let the kids have more freedom. They will come and eat if they are hungry and if they are not I am NOT going to have an argument in front of everyone there.

You go to McDonalds to play. The eating is a side benefit, if it happens it happens.

I think that having the kids use some sanitizer when they go in is the best you can do. Every item they touch all day is covered with germs, doorknobs, pencils, toilet flush levers, sink handles, etc...it may be that McDonalds is the cleanest place the kids go. They are constantly cleaning the tables and stuff at ours.

I now let the kids go on in and start getting their shoes off and stuff but they must be present to order. I do not guess what they want or assume I know what they want. I ask each and every time, the 5 year old orders something different each time, a HB with apple dippers and a parfait or a Ch. Burger and a parfait, or nuggets and fries, I never know. So they must be at the register to order their food. Then they run off to get shoes off and such while I am getting drinks and stuff. When I come in they come and eat.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I make mine stay with me, eat then play and they don't go in there unsupervised there are too many in there that their parents don't watch and they are usally the ones that do stuff they shouldn't. That drives me nuts!

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H.P.

answers from Houston on

I don't think that you are being over-protective, but so what if you are? They're not missing out on any great life lessons in not being allowed to play in that area before eating. You have specific reasons for doing it your way; your sister has specific reasons for doing it her way. Neither is wrong.

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L._.

answers from San Diego on

I did not allow it when my kids were very young or if we have a full group of daycare children. Now that my youngest is 11 and we usually only have 4-5 kids with us counting my grandson, I take them to the play place. I get them settled in, give the required instructions and warnings, then go order. I only started trusting her in the last year and she'll be 12 in August.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

My 5yo knows he has to eat his food first and then play. He also has to stay with me during ordering and getting food. The last time we went I did leave him in the play area room, eating his food, so I could help my friend who is pregnant and had her two girls with her, to get all her stuff, but that is a very rare occurrence.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

When my SD was 5/6, she stayed with us til we finished eating and then if we could view the play area clearly, she could play in it. DD is 3.5 and while I don't hover, I don't think she should be alone while I'm not there at all to pay any attention. Don't most places say children should be supervised?

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✿.*.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm with you and also have a sister that doesn't require supervision like I do. Just about every one I know makes their kids eat first, then play. That's the drill, and if they have a problem with it, then we don't need to go there. We had an ambulance at the Mc. Donald's by our house because a little girl sliced the side of her foot on the equipment. It would have happened either way, but her Grandma was right there and SAW what happened as opposed to wondering...

Mc.Donalds food + playground = BLECK! I would rather have a picnic at the park! ;)

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have a 7 year old boy & almost 5 year old girl. We order, eat and then play. Then afterwards we wash our hands. They know that they won't get to play until they're all done eating. If my husband is with me he distracts them by having them help with drinks, napkins and ketchup while I order for everyone.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

We ate first, then played.
I wanted my son's hands clean before he used them to eat.
The germs in those play grounds are disgusting.
Kids who are not quite potty trained will pee through their pants in those tubes and other kids climb through it.
If there was ever a problem with unsupervised kids in the play area acting up or bullying (or being too big as per posted size/weight limits), I'd tell management.
They'd clear the play area, and then only allow kids who had their parents with them and were within stated limits to re-enter.
It's a liability issue and the place could have insurance issues if rules are not obeyed.
You are right and your sister is not.

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H.G.

answers from Dallas on

Im with you! My kids are not out of my sight in a public place. Ever. Too much can happen in that split second imo. They stay with me when we order and until im sitting in there they may not go run. Same goes for chuck e cheese or anywhere else for that matter! Heck, my son is 15 and im just getting used to the idea of him doing his hs baseball stuff without me. But he knows right from wrong and I trust him. My nearly 5 yr old, no way!

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

I personally let mine (6, 4 and 2 1/2) do it, in the ones that are situated in a way where NO CREEPS can get at them, and they can't escape without me seeing them. They know all the other rules for behavior. As for getting hurt etc, that could happen even while I'm sitting in there. And germs? Meh. My kids were sick all winter, and yes, probably from some of those germs. Actually, I don't even make them eat-because I'd rather they didn't eat there! I stuff them before we go, and then order a coffee for myself just so we can use the play yard in winter. SOMETIMES I let them all pick at some fries, but they sort of run back and forth and play while they do it and I read a book.

And also, when I do make my kids stand in line (on road trips in unfamiliar McDonald's where the play yard is far from the counter) they have no trouble behaving in line. It's just I know they love to go in "alone" and play, so when I feel it's safe, I let them.

Are you being overprotective? NO! This is totally your call, there is no right or wrong way. I'm sure some of the moms see me standing in line alone and leisurely going to join my kids later and think I'm nuts. I admit--I'm a bit anti-hoverish. Most of the moms I see have their kids in line and then sit and eat before playing. If anything, your way is probably better. Don't worry about your sister's looks.

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

I'm with you! Until my older stepkids were about 9 or 10, I made them stay with me. If they were in pairs I was more lenient but certainly not at age 4 or even 6! The only public place I will let my 10 year old "watch" my 3 year old is the library while I'm picking out books and they are in the play area. Our library has a separate Youth area that has it's own doors which are far off from the play area. But even then, I get freaked out and make sure I can see them after every book I pick! I will send my 10 year old then to check out the books by herself, again inside the Youth area only.

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B.G.

answers from Champaign on

Hell yes!

All I can say is, you are very lucky that your kids will stand their patiently while you order and wait for the food. My boys are movers. They do not sit or stand still unless they are sleeping. Now, my kindergartener is getting so much better, but my 3 year old? Not even close. I would have to pick him up, place him on the counter (which tends to be frowned upon) and hold his arms and legs with one arm and hand while I tried to get money out of my wallet with the other hand.

My brother's girls, on the other hand, are very patient and will stand there and wait.

This has been true since birth! My brother and SIL could put their kids in teh baby carrier, walk around my parents house, find the extra blankets and bottles and calmly pack up the diaper bag. This could take 30 minutes or more, while their daughter just sat there in the infant carrier. Are you kidding me?

My kids were done with that carrier by 6 months. They were not going to allow themselves to be confined like that when others were able to roam freely. I kept thinking, what am I doing wrong as a mother. Then I came to the realization that they are just hardwired this way.

I do require them to be patient and behave, but there is a limit. As I said, my kindergartner is getting much better and could probably stand and wait until the food was ready. But a 3 year old? Wow! Not only would I be exhausted after trying to keep him in one spot while we waited, I'd have to figure out how to get the food back to our table and hold his hand at the same time. Oh, who am I kidding, I'd have a wild, wiggly 3 year old (who is had to hang onto when he's wild and wiggly and I have nothing else to carry) in one had and a tray with food and drinks in the other. No thank you! The play area is a Godsend, if you ask me.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I think they would be fine, but I make mine eat first as well, just so that she's got more time to concentrate on playing and I'm not constantly making her come back and eat.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

You are not being overprotective!! You are being a smart parent, responsible, and a GREAT parent!! Not to judge your sister but she is asking for trouble by doing what she is doing. I bet many parents who have children abducted would want to talk some sense into your sister. Keep doing what your doing, it only takes a second for something terrible to happen!!!

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

My children were never out of my sight in public. Even when they got older-they went to public restrooms in pairs. Below is a link to the registered sex offenders in your area; there are over 500!

http://www.city-data.com/so/so-Lansing-Michigan.html

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V.M.

answers from Cleveland on

To me the bribe of eating fast food and the promise of play should be enough to get a kid to stand still while ordering.
You can talk to them, sing a quite song, play I spy or a guessing game, until it's your turn to order, This is mcdonalds it's not like you have to wait 10 min for your food. so I think what you insist on is reasonable and if there are children out there that can't wait that long, then you need to go through the drive through and miss out on playland until you can behave. As for getting your money out, do it before you even get into line, have that credit card or $20 bill in your front jeans pocket so there is no fumbling, cram the change in your pocket and you can still hold your kid withyour other hand.

I sort of think that a kid old enough to go to a playland by themselves is too old to play there.

long way of saying i agree with you.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

sounds to me more like a struggle for 'who's the best mom' than any real issue.
i'm fine with kids going to the playplace so long as i can see them reasonably well. it's not like my eyes are going to prevent all falls, bumps and bruises. as long as they can't run outside, and no one can reach in and snag them, why worry? let them be kids. the playplace is way more attractive to them than the disgusting deepfried fat and sugar they're about to be fed, and that's a good thing.
that doesn't mean they can run wild, screaming, out of control or disrupting other diners.
khairete
S.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with you all the way!!!!!!!!......and I make my kids eat before they play too, to me that's just common sense. Yes germs are everywhere BUT why take the chance with being in the germ fest playland before eating? I have my kids wash their hands or use hand sanitizer before they eat, so it would be stupid to let them keep coming back to the table to take a bite.

Also making kids eat first is educating your children about how to behave at a restaurant and at home. I don't let my kids get up from the dinner table till they ask to be excused. There is also no horsing around at restaurants. I guess that's probably why we get comments about how well behaved our children are and can take them to high end restaurants.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My kids have always run over to play while we order. I also don't "make" them eat first before they can play. I don't care when exactly they eat, as long as they eat before we leave. There are literally germs on every single surface and you can't be psycho about it. I think its kind of sad that her kids were off playing and yours were forced to stand there while you ordered, waited until you got the food, then had to eat before they could play. Just my opinion, but I would have let them play since they were their with their cousins. You obviously can do what you want when you are with them by yourself but I think it would have been nice to let them play this time. Good luck.

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M.W.

answers from Detroit on

Nope you're not over protective. I can't stand kids running around unsupervised - they are usually out of control! And its not safe, someone could swipe them so easily! Kids need to be in your sight at all times when you're out and about! PERIOD!

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