Do I Get What He Wants, Even If He Won't Use It?

Updated on December 21, 2013
V.T. asks from McKinney, TX
27 answers

My husband wants a valet, the stands that hold a suit jacket and pants. The problem is, he works from home and rarely goes out in a suit. It's just as easy for him to hang things up in his closet, which he does all the time. He never leaves clothes lying around, they are always put back. He wants one with a drawer on it so he can get his stuff of my dresser. My dresser top is messy, so I see where he's coming from, but to spend $100+ on a valet so he can have a drawer to put his stuff sounds silly to me. Would you get it anyway because he wants it, despite the fact that he most likely won't use it for anything else but a drawer? Or get him something else? If you are of the get him something else mentality, any suggestions for a man that has it all and what he doesn't have we can't afford? I'm trying to stay around $100.

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D..

answers from Miami on

Yes, I would. Really, it's a guy thing. We have girl things we don't really need, but like to look at. My "thing" is boxes. I have beautiful boxes. Mother-of-pearl. Japanese lacquer. Antique. I don't even put stuff in them. I sit them around to look beautiful. I have celedon pottery, too. Why do I need any of it? Well, I don't.

Get him the valet.

4 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

If he really wants the valet, I say, just get it.

He may not use it the way you would use it. That's okay. He sees it as a solution to a problem and guys are fixers. Fixing things makes them (most of them, anyway) happy. So, the valet will make him happy. He wants his own space for his stuff. Makes sense to me.

FWIW, last night I was thinking how much *I'd* like a valet. I don't have suits, but I also don't have a closet in my bedroom and my clothes get draped somewhere...and the hoodies I wear would still look cute on it. Would much rather have them draped on something that's meant for it instead of a chair or the bannister!

4 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Yes, I think you should get it for him. The man deserves a place of his own to put his stuff.

ETA: Hey, looky at what I found... http://www.amazon.com/Winsome-Wood-Valet-Stand-Walnut/dp/...

3 moms found this helpful

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Yes, I would get it. If only to prove that I WAS listening.

6 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

If that's what he really wants and you can afford it then get it.
I'm sure my husband finds many of my possessions "silly" but if I really want something he usually gets it for me.

6 moms found this helpful
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T.T.

answers from Washington DC on

Yes. It costs what you want to spend. You don't have any other ideas. Why not make life easy on yourself? Better you get him something he won't use that he asked for than something he won't use that he didn't want in the first place.

4 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

If it would get his stuff off my dresser, then yes, I would get him one.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Yes. Get him what he would like. That is treating him like a grownup. And you might be surprised. I was when my husband was given one!

4 moms found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

I would get it for him, considering you don't have any better ideas and it is something he has specifically asked for.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

I would get him what he wants

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

My dad had one and used it often. My father worked in the agricultural business and wore suits mostly on Sunday and when we were on vacation or staying at someone else's house he hung up his clothes carefully every night. He still used it often. I would get it for him (unless it would be a financial burden), it's a gift for him, not you.

BTW Thank you for telling me what it is called, I've been looking for something similar for my husband for a while now.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I would get it for him. Maybe he just wants it because, well the drawer for one, but also just because they look cool, IMHO.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

It's what he wants so yes, if it was in the budget then I'd get it. If it wasn't in the budget I'd ask him if he wanted to add to the budget.

I don't get anything for Christmas. I haven't for years, birthdays either. So it's odd to me to hear people talking about spending money on a present for hubby or him spending it on the wife. I struggle to have enough food where I can keep a food storage a bit. So buy him what he wants if you have the money, but make sure he knows what you want that's equal in value.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Get it for him. It is what he wants. As an added bonus, his stuff won't be in your drawer:)

2 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Check out craigslist. I just looked and there are different styles for different prices. You may find just what you're looking for.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I've often thought I'd like one of these. They'd an be quite an attractive piece of furniture. I'd definitely get it.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Not all gifts have to be practical if it is what the person wants. why would I get them something I think they would like when I already know what they actually want?

2 moms found this helpful
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I.O.

answers from McAllen on

Maybe he doesn't use one because he doesn't have one. If you can afford to get it, get it. I think that my husband has two of them. He wears a suit every day, but he hangs them in the closet at home. So what's the point, right? Well, he doesn't try to stop me from buying yet another pair of shoes, and I don't always put them where they belong.

We go to work every day and make the hard choices. We pay our dues not to have ALL our requests be "practical".

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Id get him what he wants.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I'd just flat-out ASK him about this. Tell him: "Hey, honey, since you work from home, you don't wear a suit jacket except rarely -- so would you be using the hanging part of the valet or are you really thinking more about it as having a drawer for your stuff? What about a set of drawers for you that fit inside the closet instead?" Because there are such things as rolling three-drawer or four-drawer "towers" that fit right inside many closets. Check places that do storage options, such as Bed, Bath and Beyond; Ikea; Container Store (pricey), even cheap places like Target....Then you can sweetly say, "If you go with this other option, then this Santa has more left over to get you some surprises...."

We've been married 21 years and I would not hesitate to tell my husband, "Cool idea but seriously, think you'll use that? How about this other thing that does what you want done instead and doesn't sit out in the bedroom?"

If he was willing to say "I want X," why not be willing to say, "OK, here's Y which does what X does and maybe you didnt' see it before." I bet your husband just saw the valet in a store or catalog and thought "cool" and thought no further about it! He's already asked for a specific item so it's not like you're spoiling some big surprise to talk with him about it now.

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M.L.

answers from Cleveland on

i have this problem every year. was worse when we didn't have money and he wanted frivolous useless stuff.

this year I just quietly rolled my eyes when he asked for dvd's he will never watch and books from his fav author that he never reads, even though he gets a book everyyear and every year it's untouched.

bugs me to think his idea of his life is so far from reality.

1 mom found this helpful

D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, V.:

How do you know that your husband wants a valet because of the messy dresser top?

If that is the case, how come you two don't discuss how to meet his emotional needs without spending $100.00?

Just want to know.
D.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

Indulge him and get it.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

He puts his clothes up? They are not all over the floor? He gets an A.
He deserves a good present.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Richmond on

Get him a lingerie chest (not for lingerie!) - a tall, skinny set of drawers. He can put it in his closet or somewhere in your bedroom if there is space for it. You can get unfinished ones at Hobby Lobby, Good Wood, etc. for $30 - $50. You can leave as is or paint/stain on your own pretty cheaply. Hobby Lobby frequently has 30% off of 1 item coupons so cheap if you have one close by (check their website). I don't know what your Xmas budget looks like, but if this is what he really wants then make it his Xmas present. The valet sounds like a waste of money. Although, don't we all want frivolous things from time to time. All depends upon your budget - if it's not in the budget, it's just not in the budget!

1 mom found this helpful

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I would ask him why he wants it, then offer other 'reasonable' suggestions to the valet, if he still says he wants the valet then I would buy it for him. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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