Different Treatment from Pedi with Second Child?

Updated on February 06, 2010
C.M. asks from Denton, TX
11 answers

Hey moms,

Is it normal for pediatricians to treat you differently with you second child? My first child's pediatrician was great. Then we moved to another town found another ped, then had no insurance, and finally have it again. I was so excited because my little guy hadn't seen a pediatrician since he was 6 months. I was finally able to find a place to take him for his 15 month check up. I found a place that looked really nice, the peds bios were impressive, and they always get me in very quickly. However, the doctor is extremely impersonal. For my son's well baby check she came in, looked him over, told me what percentage he was on the growth chart, asked what foods he didn't like and that was it. I was so disappointed!!!! I thought she would ask more questions like "how long has he been walking", or "is he saying a few words yet?" She didn't tell me what to look forward to before he turns 18 months. Is this normal because I already have an older child?

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So What Happened?

I have made an appointment with another doctor for his 18 month check up....hopefully the new pediatrician will be better. It was nice to hear that the pediatrician not going over milestones or asking about them was not normal.

More Answers

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

No, this is not normal because of the number of children. It's just the bedside manner of the physician.

I spent the last 10 years in and out of hundreds of physician offices professionally - all have different personalities and different levels of engagement in their patients. Their biographies may be impressive, but education and years of experience don't translate into bedside manner.

That being said, I was diagnosed with cancer when our second was 10 weeks old. My oncologist is the best lymphoma expert in Indiana. I did not like his bedside manner, but I'll take his brilliance any day (his nurse is an angel).

If you don't like her bedside manner, and she's not providing the care you expect, you have every right to find another pediatrician or a family practitioner (though I personally recommend a pediatrician at that age).
If you're in the situation again where you are not covered by insurance, please know that just about every community has clinics that service people without insurance with fees on a sliding scale based upon ability to pay.

Our kids are 22 months apart - it's really critical to ask questions when that second child is in for their well-baby visits. In our case, the American Academy of Pediatrics had changed their policies on several things between children. I'm glad I made a comment about introducing certain foods (with our older child we were told NO peanut butter before 15 months). The AAP had changed their policies in that period of time.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't think it has much to do with it being your second child. I agree it is probably a bedside manner issue or perhaps the doc made a judgement call about your parenting after seeing in his chart that your son hadn't been to a ped since he was six months old. Not cool of the doc either way not to go over milestones and ask questions.

My pediatrician doesn't have the warmest bedside manner, but she's very efficient and is decent with my child. It's strange, but she's kind of grown on me. Occasionally she will be unavailable and I will see another doc in the practice and be surprised at how much more engaged other docs appear to be.

Look for another doctor if this wasn't a good fit. You deserve to feel comfortable with the choice.

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

No that is not normal at all!!! I would find another pedi if I were you! Good luck

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S.D.

answers from San Francisco on

We've had the same pediatrician from the birth of my first child, and no, the only difference with the second child is that she prefaces the milestone talk with, "You might remember..." But she is just as curious about my second child's development and does repeat all the same milestones we heard 2 years prior. In your case, it is the bedside manner.

I.M.

answers from New York on

Dear C.,
As a mom you must go with your guts! If this pediatrician is not what you expected, then change and find another one that is a little bit more personal. Maybe because it was your first time and she doesn't know you or your baby she might've been dry, maybe is just her personality. The point here is that you need to have a pediatrician that you can conversate with, ask questions, and that cares about your child. Remember that you will have to deal with this doctor for a long while, specially if you have another child, you'll have to go see her for one or both your children. So, try to find someone that you feel more comfortable with.
I have a pediatrician for my children that when I had my first child, I knew there was something wrong with him, I knew he couldn't breath well (he had asthma) but over the phone the doctor insisted that because my son was crying he couldn't be as bad as I had said he was. To make the story short, I took him to the emergency room as per his request and he found out that my son was indeed as bad as I thought he was. From that day on he never questioned me about anything ever again, and my children and I love him. Don't stop looking until you find what you want!!! You are talking about your children here!! they need the best.
I.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

It's probably just your doctor's personailty.I think that yes sometimes if you are a 2nd time mom with healthy children and a calm personailty doctors may not realize they aren't being attentive. If you are not happy, find another doctor who meets your needs. Regardless of bios, bottom line is you are dealing with your baby's health so you should have peace of mind. We've been through 3 doctrs -1 insurance change and one Dr. retired -and each has been very different. With our 1st child we saw the PA on the 1st visit. They gave us the option to see the main Dr. for our 2nd visit but we chose to stick with the PA because she did have a wonderful bedside manner. You need to have confidence in the person treating your child.

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

don't think it has to do with it being your S. child...sounds more like that's the dr. each one is different, and it sounds like this one is just in too big of a hurry.

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G.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

No I too have a second child and my pediatrician does not treat us any different then he did with the first one. I agree with the other comments about trying a different pediatrician. When we had our first child we interviewed our pediatrician to see if he was a good fit for our family. This is a free visit where you can meet the pediatrician and ask them questions. If you have some time you could try this and find one you like.

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

I'm on my 3rd child now (he's 2) and with each visit my pediatrician has still given me the milestone information as well as all of the things to watch out for, etc. Sometimes she says, "I know you remember this from your other kids but...." and then goes into the info but she never omits it and just assumes I remember everything and don't want to hear it again. Before jumping ship to another practice maybe give another doctor in the practice a try, it could just be her bedside manner. The practice that we are with has 3 pediatricians and while I'd be ok seeing any of the 3 in a pinch, I certainly have my favorite.

Good luck,
K.

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H.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

it took us trying out 4 pediatricians to find the one we liked when we lived on the west coast, we have moved recently and are on our first and so far I don't like her. I am searching for another option Just doesn't fit our family's needs. Find the one that is right for you!

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L.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hey! I would give the doctor a 2nd chance and share your concerns. We switched doctors because our first one moved and we didn't like the replacement. We went to another doctor based on a friend's advice and I was not impressed with the first visit. That being said we gave it another shot and we love our pedi now. He is great with our kids and us. He always asks about the other one when we are in the office and the office staff is wonderful as well. Everyone has a bad day occasionally. If the 2nd chance gives you the same vibe then by all means switch to someone you are more comfortable with. Good Luck!

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