I Hate Our Pediatrician

Updated on September 09, 2010
H.J. asks from Baltimore, MD
53 answers

I have a pediatrician that does not seem to like or get kids that are not perfect little robots. First of all there is not a single toy or book in the office. The last time we went she told my just 4 year old son to lay down. He looked at me first and then I walked over and he layed down. She then asked me if he follows directions based on the fact that he did not lay down for her. She only asked him once. He also had a hard time with the hearing test. He did not understand what he had to do. At the end of the appointment she asked if this was typical behavior for him. I told her that this was good behavior for him. Seriously he didn't cry or fight about anything except the shots. Am I being riduculous?

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

No. Get a new pediatrician.

By the way, I didn't like one of mine, and he was the famous Dr. Sears.

3 moms found this helpful
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B.H.

answers from Tallahassee on

I do understand the no books and toys. That is a breeding ground for germs! If you are not happy I would find another doctor. You wnat someone that loves kids and is a good doctor!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

try dr. moniserrio at childrens hospital on brook road. not only is he personable, and great with kids, but he tells the parents what he is going
to do, ahead of time. not to say, he is great with kids, but, my little frankie, rabbit punched him in the nay nays, after i warned him, she kicks. and he didnt, get angry or even raise his voice, he just let out a high pitched squeek, and shifted himself out of range of her feet.call me, he is really a nice guy
K. h

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

OK - so I agree abou there being good and bad pediatricians. It's in every profession. How has she been up to this point?

I would likely be ticked, too. But, if you look through another set of eyes, here's what I see. She is concerned for your son, and asking these questions is A LOT better than being dismissive and letting him go off with a smile and no interest.

My Oncologist has NO bedside manner. He's a nerdy scientist (I am too), who is a brilliant Lymphoma expert. His nurse gives me the bedside manner I need, and I take his brilliance so I can stay cancer free as long as possible.

If you don't like her, change. Here's the website to the American Academy of Pediatric's Doctor Finder: http://www.healthychildren.org/English/tips-tools/find-pe...

I thought my Family Practitioner was awful, hated going to him, but he's the one who was concerned enough about a small swollen node on my collarbone to refer me to an ENT for biopsy when my favorite doctor, my OB/GYN "wasn't concerned". Sometimes, the ones we don't like have the most brilliant minds and may heal us in ways we can't normally see.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Des Moines on

I have changed Pediatrician offices 3 times in the last 5 years...That means that we pretty much saw every doc in the first 2 offices. The way I see it is, you are entering an 18 yr relationship with that doc and if you do not like them or do not like the clinic then you need to move on and find another. Afterall, they are taking care your precious little kiddo.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

Why is this even a question? Bail out NOW!

2 moms found this helpful
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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Nope, I would have higher expectations of a pediatrician's bed side manner.
What is ridiculuous is that you are still seeing him, find a different one and don't look back. A family doctor will be fine, too - if your area doesn't have too many pedis or your insurance is restrictive.
Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

I agree. Why is this even a question in your mind? Take control of your family's healthcare and change docs! Pretty simple and straightforward! Healthcare is like any other business or service. If you are happy with what you are paying for then you make a change.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.F.

answers from Chicago on

Change pediatricians! There are good one and bad ones just like any other profession.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

OK, just to validate you--you're not being petty at all. You're trying to get the best health care for your child and this is not it.
If this doctor is so distracted by completely normal, cooperative child behavior, then how can she reliably assess symptoms and diagnose problems? She can't, and you cannot trust her recommendations. Shop around and find a doc who actually enjoys children. Our pediatrician always chats with our kids and jokes around in the cheeriest way, and the office is definitely child-friendly. After so many years of residency to finish a pediatrics specialty, it's reasonable to expect good bedside manner from a pediatrician. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.E.

answers from New York on

Find a new one if you're uncomfortable.

But...a lot of pedi's offices don't have toys or books. I mean, who goes to a pedi's office? Sick kids! You wouldn't then want your healthy kids getting sick from the toys.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Fortunately there are many pediatricians who will see children and switching to one that is a better fit is something you can do. Why waste energy being annoyed by this pediatrician when you can easily pick up the phone and find a better one? Write them off and move on.

L.T.

answers from Phoenix on

Is this the only ped you have ever seen? I ask because my daughter was 18 months before I got fed up and found a new ped and the difference was night and day. I interviewed a few peds while I was pregnant, and thought I'd made a good choice, but I was wrong.
Having no prior ped experience I had no idea what it was supposed to be like. Now that I've switched I am amazed how much nicer a visit can be, or how much easier shots can be administered.
Ask around and find a new doc (your OB is a great place to start), and I think you'll be amazed at how much better things are.
One last thing, try to find an office with nurse hotline that can help you decide a course of treatment, recommend ER or Urgent Care and in some cases and even tell you if you really need an appointment. The poor economy forced my peds office to cancel that service, but it was great and hopefully it will be back someday.

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

There are all types of people and all types of pediatricians. Many pediatricians are taking away toys and books from waiting rooms due to spread of germs and illnesses. But, you are not being ridiculous. If you don't like this pediatrician's bedside manner, you can always get another one. On the flip side, I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the hearing test. Some people are quick to label children, and sometimes children with real issues are undiagnosed. It's always easier to provide care when a child is so young, so if there is any doubt, I'd try to find out now. Have there been any other instances when your son seemed to not follow an instruction unless you were present? If this is the first time something like this has happened and he's been in preschool or daycare and there's been no odd behavior noticed, I probably wouldn't worry about it. Obviously, the appointment probably could have been handled a bit more delicately, but I probably would want a second hearing test to make sure there is nothing else going on and that it was a case of not understanding the directions.

C.T.

answers from Detroit on

i would have gotten a new one a long time ago!

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds like you need a new doctor.

I went through 4 before I settled on the one that we're using now, and I'm still not totally in love with her. Depending on how the next apt goes with my son, I'm considering a switch again.

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O.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Time to change doctors. ASAP.

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

I suppose it could be that the doctor was having a bad day, but it doesn't really sound like, based on the questions she asked you. It sounds more like this doc doesn't particularly take any joy or satisfaction in helping her young patients. Ask your friends/neighbors/family/coworkers, etc., for recommendations on their pediatrician, and perhaps even call your local Children's Hospital for a reference.

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V.B.

answers from Houston on

Your pediatrician should be a resource for you and someone that you trust and have a good relationship with. If your kids are anything like mine, you spend a lot of time there, so if you don't like them, it can become a major source of frustration. I changed pedi's a couple of times when we first moved a few years ago because I wasn't happy with the ones I started with and lately I have even considered changing again based on some great recommendations I've heard about another pedi. Your kids should also be comfortable with them. One of the reasons I haven't changed now is because my daughter likes ours so much. Life is too short to be annoyed by your doctor and there are so many out there to choose from that there is no reason to stay with one you aren't happy with. Interview some others and go to their offices to check them out and make the change. You will all be happier! Good luck.

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C.D.

answers from Washington DC on

First off, not having toys and books in the office doesn't mean that they don't like or get children. It's a dr's office where children come in sick. It's common sense to not have those things because they would be exchanging many hands and further spreadin germs. Secondly, how many times do you have to tell your child to do something before they listen? I'm sorry, once is my only option. If she's the regular pediatrician, he should know her by now. He's 4, the shots should have been the only thing he threw a fit about. In my opinion, she's asking questions based on the skill set he should have by his age, not because she started her practice yesterday. She sees lot's of children lots of different ages, and your sons is kind of odd for his age.

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

Make a change before you have an emergency arise.

If I had it to do over again I wouldn't go within 5 miles of a ped (and I have liked mine personally).

Good luck.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I agree with all the other posters...change pediatricians NOW!

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D.K.

answers from Washington DC on

You're not being ridiculous. One of my requirements for a pediatrician is that they have their own kids. I won't go to a ped that doesn't have personal experience with raising children. You have every right to ask this question of any prospective pediatricians. It sounds like yours has NO CLUE about kids in general. If that's the case then I wouldn't think she'd be a very good doctor TO KIDS. Find a new ped, someone that has kids of their own and "gets it".

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H.H.

answers from Hartford on

you are not, if you dont like her you should get another one. there are many to choose from so just keep looking. good luck

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K.F.

answers from Washington DC on

She could just be ruling out any issues....but if you don't like her, get someone else.

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S.J.

answers from Denver on

Find a new one, there are tons of them out there. I would suggest going and interviewing some before you decide on another one. I interviewed about 5 prior to picking the one I liked. We are still with her today. This also gives you a chance to see the offices, the staff, etc. before deciding.

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H.N.

answers from Norfolk on

H.,
This one is easy - get a new pediatrician! There are plenty of them out there, so you might as well find one you like!

Good luck!
H.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

Definitely change drs. You need to be comfortable with a pediatrician, you are going to be seeing them for a very long time!

There is one pediatrician in our group that I do not like, I make sure to schedule my appts to NOT be on her schedule!

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K.K.

answers from Springfield on

We see a family practionier because I couldn't think of a single friend or relative around here who loved their pediatrician. I loved my FP. So, I gave it a try with my new baby. Guess what? 7 years later, I am very glad I chose the FP. I would check with other people and get their feedback, then go meet a few and pick a new one. Good luck to you - your dr doesn't sound like they like children OR understand parenting at all. There are ways to ask those questions - and at 4 years old, sounds like your child behaved like any other would have.

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S.R.

answers from McAllen on

Change Pedi,
You want a comfortable with your doctor, this starts as little build ups, but they always affect trust and a doctor-patient relationship cant exist without trust, besides, it makes me feel like your kid is not really welcome at your ped's office, so why have your kid in a place he is not really welcome? There are great doctors out there, so don't worry. Good Luck!!

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J.S.

answers from Mobile on

If you are not comfortable with this Dr. there are thousands out there. Find one that both you and your children work better with.

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A.P.

answers from Boston on

She sounds awful, I would be offended if she treated my kid like that. Some doctors think they know your kid after 10 minutes in a room with them. I have a nurse practitioner who is awesome, she's friendly, outgoing, sings songs to my kids when they come in for a check up. My actual pediatrician (listed on the insurance card) is not as great, she's always in a rush and seems to brush off my concerns with a quick answer. Luckily I get to see the NP most of the time. I'd suggest looking for a new doctor.

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V.M.

answers from Erie on

mine is like that. in fact he didn't even tell my son to lay down, he just started pushing him over, It's easy to say find a new one, but other than word of mouth and trial and error how are you supposed to do that??

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

wow - change now and if they ask why, tell them she needs to be working with adults if she's going to expect adult behaviour.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

You live in Baltimore, not the Boonies! Why on earth would you still be with a pediatrician you don't like with so many to choose from?! My girls came to me through the foster care system, and I HATED the doc they were seeing. I asked to change it. Even though they were on Med Assist, I was told that I could change it any time I wanted. I picked the network I wanted them in and pulled up the list of pediatricians to choose from - it was 3 pages long...Within two weeks, we were hooked up with a pediatrician now at Canton Crossing who is amazing. They get a book for every birthday. Stickers for every visit. Sit on my (well mostly my husband's) lap for most of the exam. Talks to them as much as she talks to us. She schedules appointments, but keeps extra times open in her schedule for sick kid appts. And most importantly doesn't miss a trick.

My point is that pediatricians should like kids and understand to them. You have way too many choices to stick with one who makes you even a little uncomfortable. BTW - the 4 y/o shots s*&^. My oldest walked out of hers after she stopped screaming and told the nurse that "those shots were stupid, and don't do that again."

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W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you found a new pediatrician yet?

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S.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Find another pediatrician... someone your child loves! It will make a big difference in his desire to seek proper healthcare as an adult. My kids think going to the doctor is FUN and they always get a book to take home with them. I'd refer you to our doc, but he is in the military system so it wouldn't help. A good pediatrician will chat with the child before beginning an exam and explain everything before and during treatment. You should both leave the office with a smile. Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Washington DC on

H.,
Find another ped. Always trust your gut instinct (your mommy instinct). Not all peds are created equal. There are plenty of good ones out there. You'll find a good one if you keep looking.

Good luck.
K.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Okay, just in case you need one more vote of encouragement! Bail out...NOW. Follow your instincts (mother wit is never wrong) and find a new pediatrician. No, you're not being ridiculous.

You pay for your health care, so be selective. Find someone who fits your expectations. Trust me, they're out there. I had to bail out on one before finding my current pediatrician. He's been taking care of my son for 9 years now and my daughter her entire 4 years of life. He's exceptional and the perfect fit for my family's needs.

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Change pedi! I posted a similar question a while back and ended up changing. I LOVE our new pedi. She is the total opposite of the last one. I enjoy visits and I feel like she likes my kids.

Good luck!

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M.P.

answers from Washington DC on

Change your pediatrician! From experience, few things are worse than having a doctor who doesn't care or disapproves of you -- in this case your kids and you as a parent. If your kids get sick or hurt, you run into the issue that your pediatrician might not take quite as much interest as she should and she might be prone to blame you instead of being supportive. Your pediatrician's view of children and philosophy of how to treat them should more closely match yours. If your children are healthy, it should be no big deal to change doctors. BTW, when you do decide to change pediatricians, make an appointment for only a consultation. Go in and chat with the doctor with a list of questions prepared (that's how we chose our pediatrician). Then decide.

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D.N.

answers from Orlando on

Bottom line: change doctors. Don't even risk it or waste any more time.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

You're not being ridiculous. Find another doctor. Simple.

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A.S.

answers from Eugene on

What!!!I Over the years I have never met a pediatrician I didn't like. Some are better than others, but they all seemed to like kids. When we could get in to see ours we saw some else. I can't count the number I have seen. What a question, typical behavior would never come at a doctors office!!!! Don't go back you will never, get what you want in the medical care for you son. If you can't even get a well check go smooth.

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J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I agree with everyone else - if you don't like the peditrician, change. It doesn't matter AT ALL why you don't like them. You need a Dr you can trust to give you good advice and help your son when he is ill.

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Y.S.

answers from El Paso on

i say report her!! or ask another mommy if she does the same with her kids

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T.B.

answers from Omaha on

Ok, it's obvious you're not happy with your childs doctor so find another one. You are your childs protector. You pay for health insurance. You and your child both deserve to have a doctor who cares and knows how to handle children. Isn't that what a pediatrician is anyways? There are plenty of different pediatricians out there who love children and have the patience to deal with them.

Mothers Intuition is very strong. Follow your gut and find someone new to take care of your child.

Best wishes for you and your son! :o)

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K.L.

answers from Naples on

I would consider researching concierge physicians in your area! I have a concierge pediatrician in Naples, FL who is AMAZING with kids and works with our family. I think it's important that your pediatrician not only provide quality care, but form a good relationship with you and your son.

Many concierge physicians are willing to spend more time with you and your child to really understand you, your family dynamics, and what's best for your family. I can tell you it's completely worth the extra money!

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

sounds like you need to move on

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Well, if you hate your current pediatrician, go get a new one! You certainly don't have to stay with the same one for any reason. Yours sounds like quite a dud!

T.D.

answers from Fayetteville on

Change your pediatrician. Ask around for recommendations for good ones. Interview them, and then find one that will be a great fit not only for your children, but for you as well. Your peace of mind matters.

-T.

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D.T.

answers from Portland on

I had a ped for my oldest (now 16). He was a good doctor, son liked him, so I stayed. I didn't like him, I have a hearing problem and no matter how much I told him I couldn't hear him, he wouldn't accomodate or try to make it so I could hear him. Most of the time, I had his dad take him to the doctor because of this. We moved after we had second son, and then moved back two years later. I found another ped, one we are still going to, and I like too. If you are not happy with the doctor, you might resist, or hestitate to take your child to see him, and your child will eventually pick up on your feelings and not like going to the doctor.

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