Did I Make a Mistake Taking Away the Paci???

She's fine. You didn't make a mistake. It is probably healthy for her to talk about missing it. She's three, she has a memory.

What did the babies send her as a thank you? I hope it was some sort of "lovey" that she can hold/snuggle with at bed/naptime. That seems like it might be helpful. If not, why not take her to the store and let her pick out a really soft snuggly stuffed animal to "take care of". ?

No you did not make a mistake. 3 is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to old to still be sucking a pacifier. Just give it little more time and dont give in. Being a parent is not easy.

Our first gave it up at 6 weeks on her own. Our second we took when he was about 18 months old, and the last one gave it up around 9 months.

There is no good reason for a 3 year old to have a pacifier. Sorry.

It's going to be a transition. Imagine somene taking away your glass of wine at night? (Or whatever it is you drink...used to be diet coke for me and now it's water...) But the thing you use to calm yourself is taken...it's going to be hard. But she absolutely doesn't NEED it and don't cave. It will cause her more problems to continue to have it.

She is three. Unless a child has special needs, there is no good reason not to take it away. It's a habit, of course she will ask for it. You are now in the process of breaking that habit. You are not damaging her, in any way. If you were, she would not be capable of happily resting on her bed. The pacifier was a crutch. She was too old, and it would have only become worse. You did the right thing.

The longer you wait the harder it is. She will get over it soon. 3 is too old for a paci.

yes, you did the right thing. Stand your ground and she will move on. 3 is too old to still *need* it, its just a habit and makes her feel good, but she needs to learn to sooth herself to sleep. just my opinion. good luck!

Did you write a week or so ago? If you did, I asked you to be strong! My twins are 15 now. Back in the day, one was a thumb sucker, and one was a paci sucker. Once the pacifiers are gone, they are gone, period. Do you want to go through this again in a few weeks? I think not. This too shall pass! You are NOT damaging her. In ten years she will laugh about this, as will you.

Nope. You didn't do the wrong thing. It's a transition for sure. We just took it away 2 weeks ago from our 23 month old.

Yep. Naps are a nightmare and she's started skipping a some here and there. Nightime is going better.

We are also dealing with HORRIBLE teething right now. That paci would have been nice. But, you know what? It's done with.

It is more damaging to them if you are wishy-washy about doing things and not being consistent. You are teaching her that you follow through and life really can go on. :) I know mama. It's hard. I'm in the same boat as you and I am tempted to give it back to her. BUT, I won't. I tell myself not to start something, promise something, or threaten something that I can't or won't deliver on. I got really tired of living by my dad's promises of "one of these days." That sucked. You are doing a great job mama. Stay strong. :)

I agree you were right to take it from her. She is 3 and that's plenty old to go without it. I like what Victoria said about maybe the babies could send her a thank you. In time she will forget about it and move on to bigger and better things.

Be happy you can take it from her. I was a thumb sucker as a child and did it for way too long. In the end I had an open bite at my teeth and had braces for 3 years. I'm sure it would've been much more cost effective for my parents to break the habit than those years of Orthodontist bills. :-) (I have thanked them for my beautiful smile)

You did the right thing, she will be fine. Stay strong Mama!!

You took away the thing she used to self-soothe but did you replace it with something else to help her self-soothe? If not, there's a vacuum there. She needs to be taught a method to self-soothe or be given something that can replace the pacifier, like a new lovey.

At three years old, having her have rest time rather than nap time is great. I'm surprised she was still napping at all at that age.

At night, if she's only staying awake an extra 15 minutes before falling asleep that's not bad either. It's also normal for her to ask for the pacifier though because she's feeling that emptiness that's left by not having a soother/coping mechanism. It's like if someone took your nightly mug of chamomile tea and mystery novel before bed.

You're not psychologically damaging her, but you do need to help teach her a new way to self-soothe.

Three days. That's usually all it takes. Then, they are used to the new normal. i find this to be true in most things with the littles. Hang in there. You will be glad you did. Three is the perfect age to get rid of the pacis!

It's going to be unpleasant for her at first but give it a little more time. She'll forget all about it. YES!! You did the right thing. Coming from me, whose parents didn't take the paci away until I was almost SIX years old, you did the right thing. And no, you are not damaging her in any way. I am pretty sure I am not damaged, although others may disagree. lol

Stay strong. You are teaching her how to handle adversity. Our pediatric dentist told us to get rid of the pacifier at 9 mos. or we would be in for a struggle.

I can assure you that you are in now way psychologically damaging her. Part of the human experience is negative emotions. One of our primary roles as a parent is to help our children learn to work through difficult and negative emotions. It is a healthy part of development.

"The child psychologist who thought she had all the answers to parenting until she became one herself." www.themommypsychologist.com

Hang in there, it will get better and eventually she will stop asking for it. We had to have the "Binky Fairy" come visit our daughter just a few months before her 3rd birthday, told her it was going to be given to a baby that really needed it, and she kept asking for it to come back for about a week - "But it is MY binky! I want it back!" But as the week went on, she got less tearful and dramatic about it, and finally stopped altogether. My DH was tempted to give it back but I told him no way - we've told her it's gone, and we have to have her believing us that what we tell her is true, and doesn't change.

No, you are not causing psychological damage. They all have to get over it at some point. Better this than having her still needing it at 5 or 6.

It has been almost 2 years now. When I tell DD all about how she used to have a binky, she laughs and tells me, "But Mom! Binkies are just for babies!"

You poor thing. I know how it is....my daughter nursed until 3 and then took up the paci...following "losing" the paci she began sucking her thumb. bottom line, if the need to suck is there, the child will find pacification for this. Her "addiction" (i only use that term humorously, hope I don't offend anyone) to the paci will eventually subside as time goes on and if she still has the need to scuk, I assure she will find a way. Until then, you just breathe and know that you are a good mommy whether you give it back or not. :)

You did the right thing. My son sucked his fingers until he was 3 and only stopped when i put that yucky polish on his nails that made them taste bad. However, after he stopped sucking his fingers, he didnt know how to soothe himself to sleep. It took a couple of weeks but he figured it out an never sucked his fingers again. Now im dealing with my baby sucking her thumb because i took her pacifier at about 6 months. She is 12 months now but im hoping i dont have to do the same thing with the yucky polish. Of course i wouldnt do that for a quite a while and as a last resort. Bottom line, stick to your guns. Your daughter will get used to it. Maybe you can give her something to hold, like a bear or doll to take her mind off the pacifier.

No, 3 is a good cutoff. We did the same when our daughter turned 3. We did the elaborate binky fairy letter, shipped them off, then a letter came back from the fairy w/ a pic of a newborn that the binkies went to. Added a sense of closure for our daughter and she carried that letter around and showed everyone the new baby's pic (my co-worker had just had a baby, so it was great timing). But what we did do is go out and purchase a fun chest of dress-up clothes. You know, 'big girl' dress up clothes! This took some of the sting away. Also purchased a new stuffed animal lovey for bed time. Don't give in, she'll be fine. But yes, I agree w/ Jessica, you need to fill the 'vacuum.'

I am sending you E-hugs because I remember feeling and thinking the same thing. L

3 is a good age. She's not wailing and crying and staying up sleepless, she's just asking for it, right? Everyone will be ok.
We told my oldest son that when he turned 3, he was going to be a big boy and then he'd give up his paci for.....I can't remember. But there was something "big boy-ish" for him at the time that he'd be trading the paci in for. It became a non-issue though when we were at Babies R Us preparing for my youngest son's birth and I picked up a couple pacifiers. Joseph was like "are those for me?" and I said "No, we're buying all this stuff for the baby! He's coming in 2 months". He gave up his paci that night, and when I asked why he said "I'm not a baby. I'm a big boy". I praised him for a good decision and we still got him whatever had been agreed upon at that time. Victor is now 2 and 4 months, and he's giving me his paci after breakfast and saying "this night-night". So it's his decision to sleep with it at night, but sometimes he remembers, other times he doesn't. I've noticed when he complains about his ear hurting (sinus issues with pollen) he wants his paci more. Or earlier, when he was cutting another molar, he wanted it. By the time he's 3, it'll be over for him as well, but I think he'll give it up well before then. That will be his choice for the most part, with 3 as the cut off date. His birthday makes him a big boy too.