Dealing with Overprotective Moms at the Park.

I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with that. You're a much nicer person than I in that I would probably tell the other mom she's psychotic. Sometimes people like that don't repond to anything subtler. Hopefully, someone else has a more tactful bit of advice for you. Good luck!

Hi R., I'm thinking this is a one time thing, because she seemed particularly protective so I'd blow it off.

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here. When I'm at the park, I'm very active with my daughter and I climb and play with her on the equipment. One of the most annoying things is when other children bide for my attention because their parents aren't interacting with them. I'm not saying that you are that parent not giving your kid attention, but kids see a parent interacting and want a playmate to "Watch me!"

Perhaps your son interacted with her first and she was playing a game with him. (My daughter loves when I pretend to be overly protective and she loves the praise I give her when I realize that she can do something that I was pretending to freak out about.)

The other option is that perhaps she was trying to get YOU to give your son attention somehow so she was being overly annoying to get your attention so show you that SHE was giving your kid attention instead of you. Almost like she was picking a fight with you.

Also, I personally have had to step in when other children step out of line at the park (like bullying), while the parent is either no where in sight, or just ignoring their children. I stepped in once when I saw a young toddler walk in front of a moving swing, which they would have gotten hit had I not stepped in. Where were the parents? The park was that busy that I never saw that little tots parents. I personally think that some parents aren't protective enough. Just something to chew on. My bet is that she was thinking you weren't interacting enough so she was trying to get your attention to get your son away from her, by you giving him attention instead of her.

Just my opinion, no offense intended.

If she can't handle how kids play at playground, she should leave!

I agree fully with the other poster, telling her your watching him and this is his normal behaviour is totally appropriate. He's learning through play and if he should get hurt You will deal with it. If she's worried her child is in danger then maybe that playground isn't suited for her child.

There really is nothing you can do but tell her to worry about her our child! Plain and simple.

As long as your son isn't endangering or hurting someone else, I don't feel other parents have a right to step in. I agree with the Mom's that said to encourage your son and show the other Mom that you are aware and aprove of what he is doing. As long as you are supervising your son and making it obvious that you are doing so, you and your son are doing nothing wrong. Beyond that, I guess I'd just ignore it. Sometimes we have to practice and teach our children tollerance.

I have a neighbor like this!! If you do not see her again don't worry about it. How we deal with it daily is simply by letting our son know that it is fine for him to play how ever WE tell him it is, not her. Then when she says something, we simply say, "He's fine" and leave it at that. Often times then I will follow up with a question to take her mind off of watching my kids so closely. My favorite is, "so, how's your day today?" usually she will go on and on but then she has stopped paying attention to what she feels our son is doing wrong. Just a thought for you... good luck

I am so glad you are allowing your son to be active and play like any normal little boys like to do. It's so refreshing to hear a mom who is not paranoid. Believe, me, your son is the one who will be able to go and experience life with enthusiasm and adventure. My "kids" are all adults now but I remember sometimes cringing inside while allowing them to do things and, actually, encourging them. They are now independent, responsible adults and I like to think encouraging that independence at a young age helped that....sometimes I wish they weren't quite so independent!!:)

Anyway, I don't have a lot of advice for your situation other than to verbally encourage your son with "way to go" and "you can do it" and "good job" within hearing of the other mom....maybe she'll take the hint and try to encourage her own child some day rather than scaring him away from trying things!:) Keep up the good work!

She sounds like a busy body, over protective, freaky mom. Your husband was very polite in what he said. I would ignore it, unless it happens every time you visit this park. In that case, speak up momma!! A lot of moms dont even watch their kids as the park. If you are watching him and you know his limitations, tell her that the situation is under control.

It is so hard to share the park LOL!

I either have other kids begging for my attention because they're parents aren't paying any attention to them.

Nosey other parents who put their noses up and judge my daughter and I from the minute we arrive.

Or other parents who look at me like I'm crazy or nuts for allowing my daughter to play or do certain things.

Or parents to very very small children who are to small to play but insist the bigger kids tip toe around their children. Most parks are rated at around age 5 and older. I teach my daughter to respect younger kids,babies but it is a playground not a playpen.

Kids go to parks to run,play,scream and burn out their energy.

Once in awhile I can go to the park and not experiance any of the above that's a nice day. My daughter knows her limits and can handle her own.

First off, I want to say that I feel your husband did an excellent job of responding to the issue. I would've just said, "He's fine.." with a half-smile on my face...to let her know she is overstepping her boundaries in disciplining and watching out for YOUR child. It's not like she was in fear (or she had any reason to be) in fear for her own child's safety.

Secondly, I want to really put my opinion out there for the people who said that the playground is a place for their kids to run and scream and if the other children have to be side-stepped they are too small... I have a 2 year old and a 3 1/2 year old. The playground SAFETY rating is usually 4 and over, yes...BUT..first of all, if I am there playing WITH my children on the equipment, there is no reason at all that they should not be able to play. That rating is a safety rating meant for equipment liability and risk issues, NOT for the playground age to be raised so other older kids can act like hooligans and smaller children won't play there. I don't mean that kids shouldn't run and play, but sometimes you get the bigger kid (5 or 6 and up) that are running around, pushing and shoving other kids. They cut in line at the slide, push kids aside so they can get by, run so fast that they run into other kids... People need to teach their children to be courteous and respectful of other people, regardless of where they are at. My 2 and 3 year old are learning...so there is no reason that a 5 or 6 year old cannot be courteous of other children on the playground.

I am definitely not an overprotective mom. I just get really angry when I see mothers who let their kids be rude and pushy when they are standing right there. But R., in your case, I think you (and your husband) did and said the right thing.

my five year son is very active too and loves to climb and jump at the park too. all i would say to the other mother is that you are watching you son and he is doing what he always do and that you are watching him so that he doesn't do anything to hurt himself. but if she continues to say things to your son just ask her to please stop talking to your son becuase he isn't allowed to talk to strangers or have to listen to them.

R.-
Kudos to you for being polite and kind to this woman. While her behavior may have seemed ridiculous, you never really know someone else's experiences, and what has happened in their lives to make them behave the way that they do. For me, unless an individual is directly impacting my child in a negative way, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, and be as nice as I would hope someone would be to me. Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe something physically frightening had recently happened to her child. Maybe another child she knew was severly wounded on playground equipment...may she herself had a traumatic experience. While you may never get to the bottom of this irrational behavior, at least you can have the peace of mind knowing that you didn't do anything but humor a very anxious parent, and that's not so bad!

I think what your husband said was probably one of the best ways to handle it - "Our son's a good climber. He's fine."

Another thing you could say is "don't worry, we won't let him do anything he can't handle."

I liked the earlier poster's suggestion that you engage the woman in conversation. I would ask how old her child is, and if this is her first child. That second question is a little passive-agressive depending on how you ask, but my guess would be that this is a woman with only one kid. EVERYONE's overprotective that first time!

The woman may also have been concerned that her child would try to copy things he wasn't up for if he saw your son doing them. Talking to her might give her a chance to say that.

About your hard time saying anything, the best advice I can give is practice!

If you ever get time to read, you might want to check out Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads. It's about dealing with parents in lots of situations like that. Another thing you could try would be to talk over some scenarios with your husband - ask what he'd say in certain situations. That way you'll already have things in mind that you can use should the need arise - having a "script" can really make it easier to speak up.