Dealing with Impatient Toddler

H.,
when it gets embarrassing, say 'stop acting like a 2 yr old!'. The people looking at you will then hopefully realize, 'oh, that what 2 yr olds do' so you can just deal with her, without worrying about being embarrassed.
HTH
L. (Brianna & Shannon) in Collegeville
butterflylindamarie at yahoo dot com

Sometimes I would sing songs to my kids while waiting in check out lines, etc. Or if I was able to, I would explain what was going on in an animated voice - see they lady taking the groceries out of her cart? She has apples and milk and bread. She puts them on the counter and the clerk scans them....Is your daughter able to practice some skill while she is waiting? I've never been to one of those classes so I don't know much about how it works.

She's probably way too young to be in a dance class.

I just read The Happiest Toddler on the Block because my daughter is beginning her tantrum stage...anyway, there are some useful, specific methods in there that may help you. I think the one response you received about 'playing' at taking turns sounds like a great way to introduce the concept. but maybe try looking at the book, fyi: I read it only for the methods and skipped a lot of the background/explanations...i'm seeing results because I am learning how to talk to my daughter in a way that is good for her/me/us using some of the ideas..

I'm surprised that in a class for that age that they even expect them to wait. The few things we did when my daughter was that age, library time and a gym class, didn't involve waiting a turn for anything. It doesn't sound like this is the best thing for her right now.
Making her wait 30 seconds for her juice or a story or something sounds like a pretty decent idea. maybe playdates one on one with a slightly older child might help, too.

i think after the 1st child we do things earlier for the last ones...may just be to early for her to do the class..did same with my last and just pulled him for 6 months then her was ready to follow the routine of class

My advice is to talk to her before hand. Explain how everyone has to wait their turn. This does not mean that she will change her ways automatically. But it does give you the chance to talk to her while she is calm and explain to her what will happen if she has a fit and doesn't take turns. With our older two (our youngest is 13 months old. The others are 4 and almost 9.), my husband set the rule that if you have a fit about something (wanting a toy in the store, wanting to do a specific activity, etc.), then we have to say "No" even if we want to say yes. It has really helped a lot. If she were my child, I would explain to her that if she has a fit, we will have to leave the class and she will need to have a time out until she is calmed down. The important part of that, of course, is the follow through. It usually only takes a couple times of following through before they understand and start to get a better control of their emotions/tantrums. To follow, through, if it were me, I would probably tell the teacher that we need to leave the classroom/gym until your daughter has finished her fit and then take her to the car (or a waiting area) and sit her down and wait. The car is usually a good place to go. Put her in her carseat and close the door. Then wait quietly outside the car (to save your ears) until she is done. When she is done, tell her if she is ready to share and take turns, then the two of you will go back into the class. But make it clear that if she has another fit, you will leave (either to the car again or to the car and home).

My daughter (now almost 9) was the big tantrum thrower in our house. She spent a lot of time from 18 months to 3 years old in her bedroom learning to control her emotions and express them. When they start having fits, it is usually for 2 different reasons. 1. To get their own way. Or 2. Because they don't know how to deal with the emotions they are feeling (whether anger or sadness). In the second case especially they need a time out to learn to control their emotions. It usually doesn't matter what you say to them during a tantrum, they are too busy being loud to hear what you are saying. A time out usually allows them to calm down (sometimes it takes quite a while) and over time recognize and handle their own emotions. It is a learning curve.

We never ignored our daughter during a tantrum. We did however put her in a separate room so that we could remain calm and controlled and not say anything we didn't mean in anger. We would, however, be close by and check on her every couple of minutes and repeat what she needed to do to be done with her time out (stop having a fit and act like a normal person again -- we never said good or bad -- we didn't want her to feel she was bad because of the tantrums. She just needed to learn to control her emotions and express them in a more healthy manner.)

Anyhow, I've rambled on quite a bit. (And by the way, I learned how to deal with them from my Mom. I am guilty of being a tantrum thrower in my toddlerhood.) I hope my email helps a bit. Please feel free to ignore me completely if you think something else will work better. You know your child and only you can really decide what will work for you. Good luck.

No child has patience. Enforce patience and following directions diligently at home at all times. Use very clear concise discipline consistently. If she doesn't have to follow rules at home, she'll be way worse in public. She is young enough to nip this in the bud. Good luck!

The only thing I can suggest is my daughter is 33 months and I have her enrolled in dance but the difference is she follows directions well its just when it comes to taking turns she is impatient so at home I use her Dora characters and their backyard swing set and I show her how they take turns with the characters going down the slide. So when its Boots turn she says "turn" when she puts another one to go down the slide and have her wait until its the next characters turn and have her say "turn" until she understand that each one has its turn to go down the slide.
I understand alot that this is a part of the "I want it now" stage but I tell her "hold on" all the time when she wants something now until she calms down and then give it to her. I think dance is a good way to teach them not only patience but by using a structure that they can start to use their "listening ears" and following direction.

Hope that helps you H.!
S.

I do not feel pulling her out of class is the issue. Usually when my kids are impatient it is for good reason. They are tired, hungry, have to pee, have to poop, needing to be snuggled. Try making sure that her needs....all of them...are met before you walk into class. Let her know that it is her job to wait. I also think you should talk to the instructor. If they let your daughter in at that age...they obviously do not think she is too young. Ask them how this behavior is usually handled. Ask them what they can do to help you. I am sure you are paying for these classes, so ask them to help you. That should be what they are there for.