Cries Too Much

Hey! I went through an emotional phase with my daughter. I tried talking to her about it and I tried putting her on time-out but they didn't work. I talked to my cousin who is a daycare provider and she said when she gets children who like to cry and whne a lot she just ignores it. She will just sit there and ignore it or walk out of the room and tell the child she doen't wanna hear the whining. I tried it with my daughter and it worked like a charm. Oh, she also said to tell them that if they want to cry and be babies they can do it in the other room. So she had a place where they could go to cry for a minute and then they were done. As long as you don't baby it or give them attention they will eventually catch on that it's not gonna work anymore. I hope this gives you some ideas and helps. Good Luck!

T.,
I have a similar situation at home too. I have the 1-2-3 Magic book that was mentioned to me a while back by a coworker and then by the counselor the kids see. If your child is whining or crying because they want attention, maybe trying to find something of interest for them to do would help some. I have tried all sorts of things with mine so I understand it is a frustrating process. My 5 year old stepson starts whining if you tell him no about something, and he will start crying if you ask him to explain why he did or did not do something. I can explain to him that I want to know why he did something the way he did and he will still start crying. I have gotten to the point I feel that he cries hoping that will distract us to the point we will forget what we asked in the first place. And this has been going on for over a year now and he has learned the hard way that he cannot act like that in school or he will be picked on. I have been told he just wants attention, but now I am being told that there must be an underlying issue that we have not discovered yet. I do not want to tell you that you need to take him to a counselor, but that might be something to think about. Sometimes I have found that it is easier for them to tell someone they do not know what is going on (that person cannot reprimand them) than it is to tell their family. Hope this has help some.
P.

Hi T.,

I know this is going to sound harsh, but it worked very quickly for me. I have a very bright 5 year old who is a little high strung. I tried everything else I could think of and it didn't work. Then when he walked up whining, I tried saying, "stop whining like a girl and tell me what you need". He had to stop whining before I would listen. As I said, it worked very quickly. At first he said, "I'm not a girl." So, I said, "Then stop whining like one and talk to me."

Hope it helps!!

I wouldn't withhold your love from him. Sounds like he needs as much as he can get. I take it there's no dad in the picture. Something must be missing in his life. You may want to consult with a psychologist.

Some people are just more sensitive than others. I'm not sure what sets him off...if he's in trouble well to bad...but if he is just upset about something, whats wrong with a little cuddle. Is he in day care? Doesn't sound like it...and maybe it would be good a few days a week just to see how he's going to handle being in school all day. But as far as being a mommas boy...big deal! That ends to soon and you'll miss it when its gone.

Hi T.,
My son is 3 and he is the same way. I got A wonderfull book called "raising your sprinted child" and it has helped alot. I know its hard, to have it happen. My in laws talk about my son ALL the time. They are always saying how my son looks and acts like his daddy. Then they will say but Kyle Was never such a mommy's boy and he never cried as much .It really hurts. So be strong.

Read "1-2-3 Magic" by Dr. Thomas Phelan
good luck,
M. (39, mother of Gracie 3 & Maddie 9months)

I dont know if this will help but my son wouldnt leave my sight at one time, I decided to join different playgroups, gymboree, and mommy's mornings out. It really helped for me. Actually now he is 4 and in preschool. When I drop him off half the time he forgets to say bye bye mommy. Another thing that helped me was to get out the house for about a hour or so a week. I explained that I was coming back, which at first he would have a cow but now he tells me that I will be back he doesnt need to go and make sure that I bring him back a treat.

I hope that helps some!

D.
Mommy to Matthew 4yrs old and Mikayla and Morgan 9 month old twins.

you didnt say whether it was temper tantrums or just hug me creies. i tried just telling my son when he whined to ask for a hug if he wanted one...it worked.

My soon to be 5 yr old does the same thing, I think it is the age. What works for us, is to have a "Mommy and Alex talk". She sits on my lap(if we are at home) and we talk it out. Depending on the "problem" I give her choices on how we can do the right thing and make her happy. We always end with a hug and a kiss. Our children deserve our love and need it. sometimes all they need is some of mommy's love. Nothing wrong with a "momma's boy".

Yuck I know how frustrating the crying can be, but I think you should not punish him for it. He is expressing himself, just inappropriately, but he's not hurting anyone. When he isn't upset you two need to talk about ways to express yourself when you are sad happy angry etc... together, make a chart of what you should do to express yourself and then practice doing those things when not upset. When he starts freaking out bring him to the chart and remind him that he needs to choose another way to express his feelings! Children are still learning how to express their emotions and they really have to be taught ways other than crying.

T.,first, take to the doctor to rule out physical pain. Then try to identify why he cries so much, there is always a reason. If you can't fin out, just spend more time with him doing things together, this will reassure him that you are there for him no matter what.Also, make sure to find out if something unusual happened in the last months: did he meet somebody new?Is there a new caregiver besides you, maybe somebody he didn't like and who did something wrong? If he cries especially at night before going to bed it could be a cue of somenthig wrong happened to him. Ihope nothing too horrible if you know what I mean. There are weird people out there. Be patient and good luck.

Check out www.trianglemommies.com! They will offer you the advice that you need!