I don't know if I'm over reacting but this has been bugging the hell out of me. I normally give my 4yr old daughter a thin hoodie to take to school with her in addition to her jacket in case it gets chilly in the class room. The girl that shares her cubby with her almost never has a jacket and the teachers have mistakenly given that girl my daughter's hoodie/jacket before, but always, they caught it before the girl left because all of my daughter's items are labeled with iron on's. So...last week, I go to pick her up from school and her hoodie is gone. I ask the teachers and they say that they don't remember if anyone gave it to someone else but they'll let me know if a parent brings it back in. Today...I'm at my daughter's cubby hanging up her jacket, what do I see? Why, it's her hot pick hoodie! I'm thinking that one of the parents returned it so I picked it up to ck the label I put on it to make sure it was hers, but instead I see a white rectangle of gluey residue where her label would be and in black maker the name of the little girl who shares my daughter's cubby. I was so annoyed that I just left without saying anything.
Should I talk to the little girl's parent about this? The teachers, or should I just let it go? It's just bugging me because I can't understand why anyone would do that?! It's just a Carter's sweatshirt, probably no more that $10, I can't understand why someone would do that, and my daughter loves that hoodlie!
Also...my daughter recognized the hoodie as hers. I'm worried what she can learn from this experience. Children learn more from what they see and she can see that someone took her sweatshirt and mommy is letting it happen. I'm afraid that she'll walk away from this thinking that it is okay to take things that don't belong to her.
P.S. Tuition to this school is $11,000 a year, I seriously doubt any child here would be "in need" of a $10 hoodie.
That would have really frosted me too, NW. But I would have taken the hoodie home and not sent it back to school.
Sounds bad? I'm sorry, but I don't believe that theft should be rewarded by letting someone THAT BLATANT get away with it.
I also would have demanded that my daughter get a different cubby to share with someone else. The girl whose mother steals should have to be paired with a BOY.
That's my feeling here.
Dawn
"Oh, I see you found my daughter's sweatshirt! Thanks for bringing it back to school!"
Or just talk to the teacher about the situation and explain it the way you explained it here. Don't go to the other parents just yet. Give the teacher the chance to be the middle man and don't make any assumptions just yet.
I would definitely talk to the teacher, the principal and if they don't handle it, then the parents.
I also would have taken that iron on removal with the other child's name in it's place as it being stolen as well.
Don't think there aren't 'poor' families in that expensive school... my daughter's school is $12,100 a year and if I hadn't gotten $9,000 is multiple grants, I could not have afford to have my child attend. I would never steal another child's items, tho I am jealous FOR my child since these people have so much money to waste.
Did you take it back? I would have taken it back, and if asked, say there must have been some sort of misunderstanding and you just wanted to make sure your daughter had her favorite hoodie back!
Just let it go. Instead of using the stance of you "letting it happen", let it be a lesson to your daughter in humility and being the better person. Both excellent lessons. You don't know the situation at this girl's home, nor do you know the circumstances. And if tuition is $11,000 a year, you can afford another one.
I would have taken it and made them fix it right there. And I would REFUSE to let my daughter share any other clothes. It's not your job to clothe the other kids, and like you said, your daughter will either think it's okay to take things that aren't hers or she won't want to lend things out for fear of never getting them back.
My daughter just lost her hoodie, does that kid have ours as well? ;)
I love what JessicaWessica said: 'Oh! You found our hoodie, thanks so much!!'
Its very possible the parents changed the name and let her wear it back to school because the little girl told her parents that the school gave it to her when she was leaving school.
The little girl didn't lie. The school did give it to her as she was leaving school... by mistake. Im sure if it was brought up the mom would do the right thing (and be embarrassed about the whole mix up). My guess is its just all a big miscommunication!
My big advice is to get a distinctive color hoodie as a replacement. I started getting our son more obscure colors like orange so there was less risk of anyone getting away with swiping his (either intentionally or by mistake). If you can't find a strange color, consider using fabric paint and writing her name on the outside of the hoodie. Less likely to try to take that one if her name's right on the front.
And I agree with the others who've mentioned getting reassigned a different cubby. This arrangement clearly isn't working out and you shouldn't have to fear your daughter's things being swiped all the time.
Ok so she probably was given the hoodie by a teacher or an aid to keep her warm leaving school last week, by mistake. Bringing it back to school was good, but changing the name tag was a bit much. If youre certain its yours, then tell the teacher and take it back. Confronting the parent might make things difficult for weeks to come. I dont think Id let my child take it back to school after this, because it will just end up back in the hands of the other child. I also wonder, if your daughter loves it that much, and its not so expensive, can you just let it go and buy her a new one, brighter and newer, and clean, and forget it. Maybe the little girl doesnt ever get a nice pink hoodie and her family cant aford it. As for your question, "why would anyone do that?" Because a lot of people do things they shouldnt to benefit themselves.
That would tick me off as well. I would speak to the teacher, although, like you.... I'd have been to upset to have done it this morning!!!
they are probably poor. or worse. they feel entitled to stuff they did not earn or buy themselves.
I would let it go. Make sure your daughter has her jacket every day.
If you are feeling generous, go to the local Goodwill and pick up a jacket and some other items for this little girl. Put HER name in the articles and leave them in your daughter's cubby. Get the hot pink hoodie back or buy her a new one and ensure that her name is in several places...my boys have expensive jackets. Their names are not only in the collar but in the pocket as well.
Who knows. It could be that the other girl is telling her parents that your daughter is giving her this stuff...you never know.
From what you describe it sounds like the teacher/school is at fault. If they are in the habit of trying to send your daughter's hoodie home with the cubbymate than it sure sounds like this time it happened. I think confronting the parent would be a mistake because they did not take it, they were just the recipient. I would talk to the teacher and make her make things right (whether it be the school reimbursing you for the hoodie or by interceding wih the parents). I'm sure if the teacher has to handle it than your daughter's belongings won't accidentally go home with the wrong student again.
I would personalize your DD's hoodies. In addition to ironing in the name tags, I would also get an iron-on of a favorite cartoon character or a cute saying or something like that. Something so distinctive that it can't be mistaken as someone else's. Heck, maybe even a tiara that has 'princess _______' so that it will be obvious that it isn't the other girl's hoodie. How annoying, to pay for something and have someone else feel they are entitled to it.
Yes, talk to the teacher and the parents. You should have done it the day you discovered the theft!! And you need to have your daughter moved in with a new cubby mate who will not steal her items.
I probably would have said something right then. I mean, you already asked about the sweatshirt.
I might have said, "Oh good...it turned up....hey wait....why is the other girl's name in it now?"
That would have opened a discussion with the teacher who could then have a discussion with the other girl's parents.
I understand sharing a cubby, but personally, I NEVER allowed my kids to share jackets, sweaters, hats, hair brushes or hair pretties. That is the first line of defense when it comes to preventing the spread of lice. My kids' schools didn't allow such sharing. They might have had an extra jacket or sweater in the class if a child fell down and got wet, whatever....the child could either keep it or give it back to the teacher to take home and wash. Children were never expected to share each other's personal clothing.
In fact, my son's school had a "clothes closet". It was full of donated clothing, some of it brand new, for kids that had potty accidents, spilled milk all over themselves at lunch, fell and got muddy....didn't have a coat, period.
They were all clean and never expected to be returned.
To me, the school should have something like that or encourage parents to have an extra instead of loaning out someone else's things.
You can choose to point out to the teacher what happened and let it go from there, but you can also make a point of letting her know that your child is not to share clothing with other kids. It's not about being selfish.
My kids schools every year, at the beginning of the year, sent home fliers advising children NOT so share personal items. It doesn't matter how expensive a school is, kids can get lice and not sharing things like that can help keep it contained.
I understand a parent thinking that the school gave the other girl the sweatshirt, but I personally would have asked and confirmed that before changing the name. It had obviously started out as someone else's.
Best wishes.
Talk to the teachers first. They can talk with the other parent and see what they say.
No need to be emotional over this. Just be calm and try to learn what really happened.
OMG........that's so unheard of. I would let the parents know that you know that they took it.....but let them have the hoodie. They obviously are in serious need.
"This is why we cannot have nice things" ~ Just kidding.
Just mention it to the teacher. I agree this child probably said the school gave it to her or some other nonsense.. and let this be a lesson to always put your child's name on her coats, jackets, sweater, anything she may take off at school.. (snow boots, rain boots, umbrella. ) etc,, from now on.
The school made this suggestion in the school manual. I always kept a fabric pen, and sharpies, just for this reason.
If the teacher sent it home on another child that child's parent may have thought it was given to her. I know that the school my grandson goes to has a big lost and found. after a length of time they give the stuff away.
Don't forget, that it IS possible that someone else has the same hoodie.
It might just still show up.
If you act on assumptions, be prepared to be embarrassed. It might not be the same hoodie!
It could be a strange coincidence, if the hoodie is a current season most likely they bought the same one and maybe they don't realize they took yours home by mistake. That exact thing has happened to my daughters coat, nieman marcus personalizes the initials of the child on the inside lining, we were able to determine thats what has happened in our situation.
Well, if you cant let it go and it seems like you can't. You should speak to the parents, but don't accuse them of steeling that will end very badly. Maybe your daughter gave it to the little girl and doesn't remember, or the child told her parents it was given to her. I bet it's just a miss understanding.
good luck.
Is it possible to keep her her stuff in her backpack?
