Dear Moms,
I worked really hard to finish my Bachelor in Music when I was pregnant, and then worked really hard again to send off grad school applications to get my Master in Composition before and after he was born. (I never compromised being a good mom or being with him, that is not what this is about.) I went to 4 interviews with him and traveled all over the place to meet teachers and so forth.
(I used to live in Los Angeles, but am in Germany now, where my family lives.)
I was accepted to the Royal Conservatory in The Hague, Netherlands, which is amazing. My husband is of course a new immigrant here and is still looking for work. Here is the issue: The Hague is wonderful, but not cheap. It's not as expensive as LA, but not as cheap as my tiny little hometown. We just ended up finding an apartment, which was quite a challenge, and of course it is more expensive than what my friends pay at home. I was so relieved, but now friends and family are just making me worry so much about money, and about how much everything will be, and how we'll manage and so on and on.
I can take a government student loan with virtually no interest that I can pay back very slowly later, and I think my husband will find some sort of work.
Again, this is the chance of a lifetime and I have worked so very hard to get there, never even taking a break, always preparing scores and things while my baby slept. Very few people get into these programs, and my chances to find a good job will be better after. I think I should just go for it. I was so excited (and a bit worried), but after all the negative input I feel kind of scared and intimidated and like I might make a mistake.
I don't feel like talking to my friends, so I thought I would ask you moms for a boost, or for some advice. Thanks for being there!
Wow! I did not expect so many wonderful, warm, and encouraging messages. Thank you all so much. I am very moved, and actually feel really good about what we are about to do now. You ladies have made today, and yesterday with your kindness and wit - and may I say that you are wonderful writers? Thank you all. I know I will save these messages and go back to read them when I feel overwhelmed. What a gift you have given me.
Lots of Love to you all. Leo
In my experience, unless you are extremely blessed, family is the last place to turn to for advice about pursuing your dreams. Follow your own path, your own vision. What a wonderful opportunity you have created for yourself! So excited for you!
Chance of a lifetime .. go for it lady!!
Go for it!!! You're no stranger to struggle, so I'm confident you will find a way to make it work for you and your family. You have accomplished so much, don't stop now just because of some folks who are too scared to live their own lives and feel they need to weigh you down with their fear. We're all so proud of you! Go kick some more booty!!
Congratulations on your acheivements! I agree with everyone here - DO IT! You are showing your son what it means to follow your dreams :) It's not as if you are being impulsive or irresponsible here. Quite the opposite, in my view (and I am actually a very conservative person!) AND I know what it's like to struggle financially! Best of luck to you ~
Please take a moment and feel so proud of yourself!!! What great accomplishments in such a short time! And, with a small child! You are amazing!!! Absolutely you have to go for this chance-of-a-lifetime! You and your family will be all the better for it - your lives will be so enriched. Yes, money is always an issue, but it can be worked out and should never be the deciding factor. You are moving to a situation where you will be embraced by your music community and that will extend out into the rest of the community and your family will be welcomed and cared for, and good things will come for all of you. What a great adventure! Enjoy! Peace and wishes for continued success for all of you! B.
How fortunate you are to have this opportunity to model fortitude and passion for your child/ren. In my humble opinion, our children are drowning in stuff (as we are). Growing up with LESS than THE JONES' will be the new status symbol for our kids, and having parents who value education and creativity is better than currency.
I have a feeling your circumstances will never have you out on the street.
Struggle now as you need to, your children will thank you later.
Humans do their best when they are struggling to obtain something, it's one of those paradoxes. Let 'your people' know that you see how much they love you, by how much they are worried for you and don't want to see you 'suffer.' To be on the safe side, seek out a financial adviser through the school that you can consult with. And be sure to surround yourself with friends who value community over 'stuff.'
In the end, what will you look back on?
Carpi Diem!
Oh, and, CONGRATULATIONS! Is it OK for me to be jealous!!? :)
Go for it! You'll be so glad you did!!!
(And, please, let us know how it's going. We'd love to celebrate your success!)
Of course you should do it!!! If you don't, you will always be thinking about it and wondering why you let anyone fill your head with negative thoughts. I think as mother's we always worry that we are doing the right thing for our family. However, this really is a once in a lifetime opportunity and it will be great!! Go for it!! And Congratulations!!!!
Wow. It sounds like an amazing opportunity for you, and considering how hard you've worked to get where you are, I think that you should go for it. When will you ever have another opportunity like this? Go for it! It might be difficult for you financially later on, but as long as you are prepared for that and believe that it is worth it, I say ignore your critics and follow your dream. Good luck!
Go.for.it.
This is a one chance in a lifetime.
Things happen for a reason.
Things that fall into our laps, are also work.
Not easy.
But it is for a reason.
A door... opened for you.
Enter that door.
It will not come again.
People would do anything, to be where you are.
I think that sounds like an awesome opportunity, and one that you cannot pass up. I think it is sad that your family and friends are stressing you out about money, sometimes we have to jump out on a limb. It is a little harder to take those chances when you have children, but with one, it isn't too bad. I think you should go for it. If we listened to friends, family, or peer pressure for everything, we would never get anything done.
Also, if you feel comfortable, I would mention to some of them that the things they said hurt you. You will be just fine, and whether they believe it or not, they should give you encouragement and love.
Do it- this is coming from an artist as well. So many people search their whole lives for something they are passionate about. Well- you know and you have been recognized by getting this opportunity. No one ever said on their death bed, I wish I hadn't tried to follow my dream! Most people live in some degree of fear and that is what is coming out when they speak with you. (And dare I say, perhaps a little jealousy as well?!) I admire your drive- I have had a hard time mixing parenthood with art career and now that my second child is two, I am finally seeing that I will be able to work in earnest again. All the best to you,
S.
Do it. You know it will be a hard slog for a while, but you and your husband can do it. Don't miss out on this opportunity that will mean the rest of your life is exceptional, just because of a few struggles. Do it.
I know your friends and the other naysayers think they're trying to help, but that kind of behavior SO annoys me! It's like when you're pregnant and someone keeps harping on how expensive it is to raise kids - do they imagine that's helpful? Do they want you to say, "Oh, I really don't want this child"? GO FOR IT. Money is one part of the equation, not the deciding factor. Low interest loans are hard to find; if you have one available, great. Congratulations and good luck!
Huge CONGRATULATIONS! After you complete your stint at the Royal Conservatory, you will look back at this time and wonder why you had any worries at all about making this decision. This is a no-brainer. So you suffer for a little while with high costs and low income. The tough times will pass, but your experiences (both actual and on your paper CV) will last a lifetime. After this, you will likely have many new opportunities that you would not otherwise have the chance to explore. If your DH finds his dream job somewhere else afterward, you will probably have an easier time finding a job in music wherever he needs to be. By the way, I work in entertainment and just met several musicians who work on musical scores. Their music and sight-reading skills are amazing. And I'm sure the training they went through was not much different than what you are about to embark on. (ok, bad grammar there, I know) Best wishes!
Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS for all you have already achieved! Now DO NOT listen to any negative talk and grab this opportunity with both hands - like you say, you've worked too hard to give up now! I hope your hubby is supportive, but even if he isn't this is obviously something you care for very much, so you must not let anyone or anything stand in your way. Very few people are lucky enough to earn money doing what they love to do. If you are one of them, its your DUTY to follow through. If you don't, you'll end up resenting everyone who made you doubt yourself and you'll spend the rest of your life wondering "what if". Go for it! Best wishes and God Bless you! :)
This is the advice i would give to you, including to myself:
In the end, when all said and done, it's always better to have tried your best then never tried at all.
So I said, go for it.
Usually (at least for me), the guilt stems from me not giving my very best at something - and not about failing at something that I tried.
Go for it!!!!! To quote a couple of sayings: "When there is a will there's a way", and "No guts, No glory". You sound like a woman who knows what you want and I think you will be creative enough to make it happen. Will it be easy? Probably not, but few things worth having come without sacrifice. And so what if you make a mistake; if you let fear of failure stop you -- that will be a mistake!
