Confused Moms Needs Anwsers

here are my feelings on this situation, always forward never backward. You made the choice to move here and start a life.That takes guts! When do you plan on doing that? I mean starting your life here. Life is funny,sometimes we do things on a whim, somethings that whim leads you to places you never knew that you could or want to go. But really, moving for you was I am sure was a big choice. But you did all the hard stuff. You will never be happy anywhere until you decide you want to be.location is just that location. My husband and kids are my home no matter where I am.

One doesn't get to pick one's family, of course you will miss them, but you can pick new friends that can become like family.But you have to allow yourself to.You already decided that pa is a better life for you and your kids. So enough said there.

A what on earth is your boyfriend still doing there? If you guys are going to have alife together you can't do it in two places. So why isn't he here chasing after you? You have quite a bit of unfinished business it seems. It sounds like you could really love it here but you have to close one door before you can open another. signs are all around us it's just a matter if we choose to see them or not.

Anyways trust your instincts it's what got you this far,sometimes it's only a matter of turning the world down and listening to ourselves.Anyways I hope happiness finds you here or in mississippi.

hey F.,

i don't think I have any advice I can give you but I understand the difficulty of having family and loved ones so far away. My whole fam is back in WI. It is so difficult....even to afford to beable to see them....and then when I do get to see them I always want to move back to WI to be with them. Then adding two grandchildren into the mix....I feel awful that my parents can't see them whenever they want.
My husband is great and a major support when I do struggle with this situation. He would do anything I REALLY wanted to do....but then I do take a step back and look at the situation. We are established here, I have friends here, our church is here. I think you are doing the right thing by praying....It is a difficult situation! I can't tell you anything other than I hear ya and will pray that the Lord reveals his plans to you in time!!!

I had a hard time for the first several years living here because I hadn't any roots, while those immediately around my neighborhood did and formed a clique. I have lived here 9 years and over time I began to know friendly people when I was out and about.

Have you been able to begin to form any manner of support network? What is available through church activities for the family, any manner of mothers' clubs if you are home sometimes during the week for activities if any of your kids is under 5, groups that meet at the library, night classes at the high school ... Do your work and household commitments prevent you from joining any regular activity?

Having insufficient support is very hard, but uprooting again to return to a region of poor economy at this time... that sounds too scary. Can you project another year out how your household will become? I hope you are able to stick it out. It did get better for me, but I wasn't consumed by children yet then. I did find myself in therapy for a while before my new roots began to grow.

(I have heard that my church comes across as unfriendly because we are more reserved. I preferred that and relationships grew slowly as I continued to attend, sitting in the same "new person" spot. I hope you aren't being discouraged by that in congregations near you. Certainly all congregations are not/should not be the same.)

Good luck to you. Persevere.

I knda know your pain. My parents and brothers are almost three hours away from me and while I know it doesn't seem like a long drive I can't always afford the gas to go. Rarely I can. Anyway I know you miss your family but I always see it as you have to do what's best for you and your children. I know it hurts but if this is the best place for you to have a good job a house and the things you need and your kids flourish here than I would stick it out. God never gives you more than you can handle and eventually things will get better. All you need to do is just keep your faith that the lord knows how to help and take care of you. It's what gets me through a lot. God bless!

If you are really truly on the fence about what to do, do nothing right now. The worst decisions are made when we decide irrationally or when we are feeling especially down. When I divorced from my first husband, I was on the fence for months, cried on my way home from work daily, etc., trying to decide if I should leave him or stay. My Mom was right when she told me that I would wake up one morning and know exactly what to do and she was right! Sometimes obsessing about decisions like this only clouds your judgement. Take a few days off from thinking about it, refocus, maybe just take the kids to the park for a picnic on Saturday and enjoy the NOW.

I agree with the other Mom that wrote how brave you are for starting over so far from home and how you have succeeded like you have. You deserve a pat on the back. Stand up straight and put your shoulders back and take a look at this huge step you've made. A big proud smile should be on your face!

The beauty of 2008 is that we have the email technology to communicate and share photos with family and friends daily for pennies and to me that is PRICELESS. There is also a video program called Skype that I believe is free, you just need a camera on your computer to use it.

I wish you lots of luck!

Obviously you love your family and being far away is SO HARD. Maybe you and your sister, boyfriend, other family members, everyone involved... could start a "trip fund" every week each person puts some amount of money aside... $20-$30-$40 whatever works... and you have a car... so set a date to go visit, put in a leave request from work, and all pool the money to pay for the gas and trip expense. PA-MISS shouldn't be too bad a drive. and since you have 3 kids.. driving will definitely be more affordable. Maybe the longing won't be as bad when there is a visit SCHEDULED? Instead of OH i miss you, could be OH i can't wait to see you! I hope this idea helps, Best of luck. Hang in there.