Concern (Sitter) Edit

My first question is what do you pay her? Second... How much time is she with him? Third... Would you prefer that he wants to be with her over you?

As far as cartoons... He doesn't understand what they are or why he likes them yet. He likes the constant action and colors. There's plenty of time to learn. Having 2 kids the same age playing together... That's a dream! I would understand why she wouldn't be pushing herself on their play time if they're not needing it. When my kids are happily playing together... I leave a good thing alone! If it's not broke... Don't fix it!

Doesn't sound like she's lighting any fires as a babysitter. I'd expect more for my son (and my hard-earned money!)

Is this an all-day sitter situation or an occasional sitter for an evening? If it's your all day, every day sitter then I think I'd find another sitter.

The babysitter is a babysitter not a daycare provider. She is probably watching more than one child. My babysitter said, it is not her job to teach the kids alphabets but to make sure of the kids well being. If she is caring and attentive then that is what I would be most concerned about.

I guess it depends what you want for your child. It sounds like you have a babysitter only. If you want more than that, you should look for it. There is an entire spectrum of childcare that goes from simple babysitting - which is what you have - to learning centers with curriculums even for babies.

My child (10 months old) goes to a learning center. He's in the infant room, but even there they have circle time with stories, interactive playtime with the teachers and they do arts/crafts (simple things like smearing baby foods together like paint on paper to see the colors and feel the textures, etc.). And there is not even a TV in the room. The downside is that it's bigger, more kids, and so more germs to go around. And it also costs more.

Maybe you don't want something that structured - and that's ok. Right now you're at one end of the spectrum, and I'm at the other. You can find something in the middle if you prefer. Just think about what environment you want your child to have now and as he grows. And then look for that.

Cartoons are OK for kids, your child is still an infant. At 9 months old there's not a lot they need: some holding, read a book or two, feed 'em, change 'em and let them sleep. There's no reason they need to be in front of a TV set. My two cents. Give the babysitter more direction on what you expect.

How many other kids does she watch???

Get another Sitter.

I tell my sitters NO TV (2.5 yo and 6 mo). They should be interacting with the children with activities or face time, or just laying on the ground and playing with them. If you aren't concerned about TV and are okay with it, you could say X minutes of tv, but if that is all that they seem to do, it may just be easier to say no tv.

Is this an all day sitter, or for the evening? How many kids are there? If the two kids the same age are good playing together, I would be okay with some of that, but you have to decide if you are paying her to take care of your child or supervise your child. It sounds like she is supervising. BTW, how old is she?

Current recommendations by the Academy of Pediatrics are for no screen time for children under 2 years of age. He should certainly be picked up if he cries, is upset, etc and I would expect more than that. I would talk to the sitter about my concerns. If she was not responsive, I would probably change child care arrangements.
D.

I think if you are having that many issues or concerns with your sitter maybe you should think of finding someone else. I have two daughter that are 17 and 20 now and a 4 year old boy. I thought I had a good sitter for them and now am finding out stuff that I don't necessary agree that she did but I was not aware of it at the time. The sitter I have for my son is wonderful and I wish I had known then what I do now. There is a big difference now and I wouldn't change my sitter I have now for anything. Maybe you should discreatly ask around and find out if there is someone out there that would do things the way you like them done, after all he is your child....try asking friends, neighbors, your church for recommendations and when you meet the caretakers ask them questions that you feel is important to you (like how much do you hold them, how do they like to interact with the children in their charge, etc.) also when getting recommentations from people ask them the same questions... Good luck

Even a high school student would be better than this and play with your child.

get another sitter! If I found out my kid wasnt being held and cuddled, I would be livid. My daughter has always gone to home daycares, and both have been great about cuddles and activities. Sure, they watch a little tv (usually while she's getting lunch around or if it pertains to their theme for the week) but I find that, especially with babies, the cuddle time is essential.

I think you need a new babysitter. Or, better yet, a licensed and STAR-red daycare. TV for a 9 month old is unacceptable. As is not interacting with him or playing with him. You will never get this time back-- make sure it is the best possible.

She is obviously expereinced, but perhaps doesn't have the energy to do much more. I have a home daycare and if the kids are playing well together, I leave them to play. I do pick them up, give hugs, play on the floor with them, but they do play "together" a lot. How do you really know that she doesn't do more? Have you asked what the average day looks like? What is her schedule? What are you paying her? Have you talked about your expectations for childcare? Is the tv on all day or just for a show or two?

i think i'd find another sitter as well. they aren't expected to "play" with other kids at that age, but the emotional development is critical at this age. they need to be talked to, played with, read to, etc. this is critical for speech development as well as their general emotional well being. the TV isn't going to do that. i have no problem with sitting them in front of a cartoon for a little bit while you get some laundry done or something, but limit it because they need that physical contact too :)

First question to you: Is your sitter caring for more than two children?

As a young mom (30 + years ago), I was also a working mom. I expected my sitter to really like children, especially mine. I also expected her to cuddle, comfort and play with my child. Your 9 month old is too young to tell you he needs more than cartoons & diaper and feeding time. Go with your gut feeling. Your sitter is not paid to sit.
As a nana, my grandchildren are in daycare. This is the best solution for my children and all four of these little ones seem to be thriving.
Good luck.
R.