Christmas - Caledonia,MS

I never had the talk with my parents. I just found out and never said anything. I have a younger sister and brother so I kept believing! It's kinda an understood.. "you believe you receive."

I wouldn't say anything to her. I'd wait to see if she comes to you.

You just tell her that he's not real, but that the 'idea' of him is real. Tell her then about the real meaning of Christmas

I home school too, and have never thought about this, my daughter is 7, and I figured that she would one day find out on her own. My parents never had a "talk" with me about it.

M.~
Last year, I messed up and sent my 15 yr old daughter out to get something out of the trunk that held all the *stocking stuffers* in it. She said not a word to me about it. Two days later it hit me what I had done. I finally spoke to her about it and she said she has known for years but never let on because she did not want to ruin it for her younger brother or hurt me. It was about then that I realized how mature my daughter was becoming. I think the topic of Santa and wether he is real or not should be brought up by the child. She may be testing you to see what you will say, if you will confirm her thoughts. You know your child better than anyone and know how she will react to the news if indeed she is only questioning to see your reaction and in fact does still believe. Good luck and Happy Holidays.
N. C.

Hi M.! I'm glad you posted on this; my husband & I were just talking yesterday - wondering what the "average" age was for kids no longer believing. I was in third grade - found out reading a magazine article in school library!
Our daughter will be 10 in January. She "tested" Santa two years ago - asked for a VERY detailed homemade doll w/five specific items embroidered on skirt. I braced myself for her disappointment Christmas morning, but my mom-in-law MADE the doll & FedEx'd it! So - we got another year ...
However, LAST year - we awoke Christmas morning to a NOTE TO US FROM "SANTA" telling us how PROUD "Santa" was of our daughter's behavior that year - & that the boys were "okay," too! My husband & I just looked @ each other & smiled! That note from "Santa" - in our daughter's handwriting - is one of our most precious keepsakes!
I've NEVER said directly that there is OR that there isn't a Santa. Just ask my kids, "Well, what do YOU believe?" when it comes up. IF they asked me directly, I'd personally feel obligated to tell the truth ... but they haven't done that ... yet(thank goodness!).
We also have two sons - ages 7 & 3 years - and they both believe.
My advice would be NOT to "rush" the talk - IF she comes to you directly then be honest w/her. BUT - what harm is there, really, if she believes ... or even just pretends to believe ... it's part of the "magic" of the season ... the excitement of Christmas morning ...
Best wishes to you & have a Happy Holiday Season!!!
(P.S. We're stressing the big "double digit" birthday, too, by the way - good luck w/Abagale's!)

I think you are picking a good age! I have a 9 year old as well, and plan on telling him right after Christmas. Good Luck!!

I still haven't told my kids and my oldest is 15. He has hinted that he knows but I just smile and say if you don't believe then he doesn't come. I have 2 reasons. One is that it is more fun when you believe, at least for us ;). The other is that I also have a 7 and 9 yr old and they totally believe. So I don't think I will acknowledge it at least until they are all grown and on their own. Why ruin it for them if they still want to believe?

I would wait until she flat out asks if Santa is real. Kids are are far too curious not to ask if they are really contemplating the truth about something. I know I will dread when that days comes as well. Good luck.

First off, I would love to meet you. I also homeschool and don't know many other homeschooling moms.

I would just tell her that the reason for Santa is to show kindness and thoughfulness to others. That's what I siad to my three year old when he asked why there were two Santas (two different stores). I told him there is one Santa but those Santas reminds us to kind and thoughtful.

You can also look up the legend of Santa. I saw a book about it at McKay's in their Christmas section. That way you can feel out if she still believes he is coming to her house or not. My son this year is just now believing. Sorry I can't help more.

I remember I was about nine. I got a present out of the box from Santa than the box was in the garage. My mom told me Santa left it there to store it in. LOL

I, too, am a stay at home mom. We don't homeschool, but I have a 10 year old daughter who still believes. I wonder about her comments as well, but she seems to really believe. She says only 4 people in her class at school openly tell that they don't believe, but she thinks they're crazy. My parents told me when I was nine (at my insistence) and Christmas was never quite the same. I did enjoy helping with my younger brother's shopping so I look forward to her helping me in that way -- she has 3 younger brothers. If I was sure she wouldn't tell the boys, I MIGHT would tell her early next year. As you can see, my husband and I are in the same boat as you. We don't know how to handle it either.

My 11 year old dtr is hinting around to it also...pull Abagale over to herself and ask her if she believes their is a Santa if she says no then tell her that is her opinion and she is intitled to it but not to say anything about it to Greyson because he still believes in Santa.
If she says yes she still believes then you have at least one more year.
I am off to have the same discussion with Zoe.

I would wait till she says something to you. Why ruin it if she doesn't really know for sure. Santa is real as long as you believe in him. If you haven't seen Polar Express I highly recommend it. My daughter is same age as Abagale and she still believes. She has had kids at school tell her there is no Santa but she refuses to believe them. Merry Christmas!

Your'e lucky it's lasted this long, LOL!!! My son is seven (1st grade), and he found out last year from school and classmates. I think I was more devastated than he was!!

Hi M.~ This is kinda funny you put a post out here about this. Yesterday in fact we had a little "talk" about Santa with our 5 yr old daughter Aubryannah and our 10 yr old Kylee-Marie. Because of the age difference, We had to discuss with Kylee-Marie(she has told us that she knows we are Santa)We told Aubryannah that Santa Claus is the man with the red suit, white beard, the guy she see's on TV, etc.... But Momma and Daddy also are her personal Santa's because we buy them gifts too for being a good little girl all year etc.... She seemed to understand that and was good to go. Now with Kylee-Marie we waited for signs or clues of her "knowing" the truth of Santa (which she was about 8 yrs old when she did so. Once that happens there is no reason to keep going on that there is a Santa other than us. If your Abagale is giving you signs of knowing, then she may already have that idea of the truth. If so hopefully she will come to you in private about it, maybe she is not makin a huge deal of it because of her younger sibling. Does she still believe in the easter bunny, tooth fairy etc..???? If she knows they do not exist then maybe this also includes Santa. I hope it all works out for you.

M.,

What a sweet time in your daughter's life. We homeschool our children as well, and I agree....she probably still believes because she isn't exposed to "the world" like other children her age. I would wait it out through this season, but I would definetly tell her the truth before next year. She will probably find out from others and it would be better to hear it from you and your husband.

We told our children and took some of the sting out of it by telling them the true reason for Christmas and the season. We celebrate Jesus' birth and the giving of His life for ours at Christmas and our children have never looked back.

The truth is you are probably reaaly facing the idea that she is "losing her innocence". That is a tough thing to face and with so many things to deal with in this life it is hard to let them move toward being grown up. I can definetly feel for you there. My son just turned 15 and got his driver's permit......ohhhh do I feel old. (Wasn't it just yesterday that he was in preschool being a lion for the circus play?) Our daughter is almost 13 and everyday I realize she will be a full grown woman and there is nothing I can do about it.

Hopw all goes well, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Hi M.,
I have 3 girls 10, almost 8 and almost 5. I homeschool now, but my oldest went to public school the first few years. She came home in 1st grade and said someone said there was NO Santa Claus. I convinced her there was. I however, flubbed up last year by something I said and had to do a quick cover. I told the oldest two that since Santa started delivering toys to kids the number of children has increased 20 times what it was. I told them that most times Santa has to get the parents to help him. I told them that Santa sometimes gets some of the gifts to the parents prior to Christmas. I told them that Santa and his elves also can't make all the new electronic gadgets kids want so Santa tells the parents what the kids want and the parents buy it. This satisfied them and it also helps if they happen to run across any presents ahead of time. I love the magic of believing in Santa Claus and want them to believe as long as they want. Hey, I still believe in Santa Claus. After all, Santa is giving and the spirit of giving never goes away. I think my oldest is not sure, but still wants to believe. Don't rush her, I am 42 and still believe.

(I actually was told there was NO Santa when I was 8 years right before Christmas....my worse Christmas ever) Don't rush it.

Merry Christmas.

We too have a 9 yr old home schooled daughter. However, we also have an 18 yr old son. We were worried when our son reached that age. All his friends started talking about there not being a santa and when our son asked me, I just told him that I believe. But ... if chose not to believe, I guess Santa won't visit him. Needless to say, at 18, he can't wait for Santa. So ... our 9 yr old already gets this from her brother. I'm not sure what we'll do when he goes off to college. :) I can't wait to view the other mom's advice to you on this.