Chores? Who? When?

Beginning as soon as they can walk! And I say start them early. Anything from picking up toys to gathering the garbage cans. Sorting socks, washing windows, using cleaning wipes to wipe around the doorhandles or toilet seat, vacuuming stairs or along the edges of the hallway, hand washing cups, folding wash clothes and rags, making piles of socks or t-shirts, dusting off the tops of tables, setting the table, putting away utensils from the dishwasher. The list is endless but it does require some creativity to think of them when the kids are young. My kids, ages 5 and 3, have "Help Mommy Time" every morning after breakfast. We work in a room or on a cleaning project together all at the same time. I have found that doing chores together is more productive for us at this age than any sort of chore chart. The trick is to think creatively, be consistent, and make it a happy experiences for everyone to be together. Hope this helps.

I would start with small responsiblities like brushing teeth, feeding the pets, help clear the table or set the table for dinner. 4 is not to young to help out. 3 it depends on the day. You let them help you in the kitchen with meals.

When my kids were little I would cut out labels of the items we needed at the store and let them find them. (without them running wild) It help them learn about shopping and they had a great time.
C. B

Dear T.,

All three of my kids learned that they had to pick up when they were done playing and before bed time. This started as soon as they were walking. We just made a game of it. A couple of months ago I was rearranging my daughters room (4yrs at the time)and going through toys. Her 15 year old brother came in to help me. While I was talking with her about putting toys in certain places and keeping them grouped together, my son pipped in and said to her.."You don't like it now but I am so glad Mom taught me to keep my room clean. Now I have the cleanest room of all of my friends. I can find things I need and it helps me to be originized at school. I can find my homework in my locker and that saves me time." What a wonderful moment it was for me..(My oldest didn't tell me she appreciated me until she was about 21.)

As your kids grow give them more chores. My oldest daughter was doing dishes at about 8. They have always had to help with some portion of cleaning. It helps them to build responsiblity.

My oldest daughter had a friend stay the night and before we could go to the zoo the next day (about 5th grade) she had to do her chores. Her friend told me that she should not have to do these and that we should be able to just go. To which I replied, No, Chelsie, she lives her and helps make the mess & she gets to help clean it up. If you were a thoughtful friend you would offer to help. Needless to say I got a call from her parents that night. I thought they might be mad at me but they wanted to know how I got Chris to do her chores. I told them she doesn't have a choice. They have to be done before playing. Just like I have to work before I get paid.

Let your kids make their beds and pick up their rooms. Give them tips on what to do or show them a couple of times but then let them do it. My 5yr old knows her bed has to be made before school every day. It may not always be straight but she has done her best and I praise her for it. If I know she did not try her best I ask her, she knows and will go fix it.

Hope this all helps.

J.

I have a three year old (will be four in July) and a 6 year old (will be seven in Sept). Both of my kids love helping and I set some reasonable chores to help me out and get them used to helping. Both have to take their dishes to the sink after meals and clean up the area they sat at, they are to put away whatever toys they got out, they put their clothes away after I have folded them. I put their jammies, underwear and socks in a bottom drawer so they could do this.
Every morning my daughter gets up and makes her bed (I didn't even ask this one as I don't even make my bed daily), she is great about wiping down around the sink after getting ready for bed even. Having your children help gives them a great sense of pride, they enjoy having a clean home and being part of it and it makes them responsibile for their own messes.
I would say after 3 they are totally capable of small chores. Even my son gets a kick out of taking a paper towel and wiping down the pictures and so forth in our house. Make sure it is easy stuff but stuff that will truly help you out. I can say having my kids put their clean laundry up is a huge help for me and they know they have to put their dirty clothes in the hamper and not throw them on the floor. Our rule in our home is if you get it out you put it away.

I would say it depends on the child.. You could start with simple chores at 4- From my own experience the sooner the better. I waited until my kids were 7 to really enforce it and it has been a struggle to stay on beat. There are some really neat chore list out there for little kids that make it fun and rewarding.

HOpe that helps.

Hi T., I started having my daughter help me with the household chores one day and when I thought she did it well enough to have as a responsibility it was hers. Things such as dusting, cleaning her room, sweeping the floor, picking up after the pets, etc. The biggest hit was dishes, not sure why. :) I didn't create a reward system until she was older as I wanted her to understand family values and everyone needs to pitch in. Hope this helps. Also, someone the other day was asking for free chore charts to print online and I checked it out and it was wonderful!!! http://www.dltk-cards.com/chart/

I remember being told that you can expect a child to pick up as many things as they are old, with out help. So, if a 4 yr old is asked to pick up 4 specific things and then 4 more specific things, I would think they could handle that. Another mom mentioned that her 19 mo old helps unload the dishwasher, and my son does, too. Like she said, it does take longer than if you do it yourself, but hey! They are helping! I loved the idea of having a help mommy time...I think I am going to use that. I know I prefer to work with someone else, so I think working on a specific job together, each person doing a different job, or all working on the same thing at the same time, i.e. all picking up toys, then all dusting, then all folding blankets, OR one dusting, one picking up toys, one folding blankets. I think at your kids' ages, all working on the same thing at the same time would work best. You can even practice counting while picking up toys. Find some fun music to play, or sing some songs. This has gotten me thinking about how to make chores work for my family, too. thanks for the request!

I have a 2.5 year old son who one day while I was dusting he wanted to help me. He was about 19 monthes at the time. Since then he has been my cleaning machine! He helps me unload the dishwasher by handing me one plate or glass at a time (with both hands) and although it might take 15 minutes longer then it would if I did it alone he LOVES to do it! I also have hardwood floors and he saw me dry mopping and wanted to help so I took a swiffer and took two of the handle pieces out making it kid sized and he now swiffers with the best of them. Now keep in mind that he doesnt always do the best job but he is helping me out and it makes him confident so I have kept it up. I have also had him help me pick up his toys in his play room and his room since he was able to walk. If you help them out and show them how to they usually enjoy it, making it easier to get them to help more as they get older!

There are many books on this subject (and probably plenty on the internet also.)

One of my favorites was "Pick Up Your Socks, And Other Skills Growing Children Need!: A Practical Guide to Raising Reesponsible Children" by Elizabeth Crary, Pati Casebolt

I believe it include a list of suggested chores for different ages.

Now is not too young to start. One of our daughter's first chores was simply to keep the doors closed. (My husband prefers them that way.) So before she was even two we told her that her job was to close any door she found left open. She loved having a job, was very good at it, and it set the stage for future responsibilities.

Hi T.,

My kids all do chores, my kids are 10,8 and 4. The two older ones takes turns taking out the garbage, unloading the dishwasher and sometimes vacumming. While the younger one helps unload the dishwasher ie: hands things to his brothers or puts silverware up, he also likes to help vacuum and clean the bathrooms with me. My older two are also responsible for keeping their bathroom clean.

I started them when they were young whether it was in fun or just asking them to do something. Now they are little helpers. My youngest loves to pick things up so he normally is asked to pick up the toys in the play room.

I would say to just start asking them to do things, or if they show interest in something you are doing let them help.

All your kids are old enough to do chores, but you have to do it in moderation. What your 4 yr old can do the baby can't kind of thing. They will all be able to help sort laundry and put away their things. They should be able to help put away the toys, making their own bed. What I do with my kids (I have 6) when they are that age is take them with me around the house and let them do things with my right there helping. My 4 yr old can put away her own clothes after I have folded them, she helps bring her dirty clothes to the laundry room, she makes her own bed, she dusts, she puts new garbage liners in the cans....the list goes on. The thing that you need to understand is that they are all old enough to do it, but they might not do it exactly they way you want it done. Just be patient with them, don't scold them for the way they are doing it and do not ever do it over while they are watching, because then they won't want to help anymore. Just decide what you want them to do, show them how to do it and let them go. Good luck.
J. (SAHM with 6--12 yr old girl, 6 1/2 yr old boy, 4 1/2 yr old girl, 3 1/2 yr old girl, 2 yr old boy and 4 month old girl) so I know it can be done.

I ask my 3 year old to throw things away for me all the time, or go get... He's getting pretty good at it. He also can follow my lead to pick up his toys and put them in a box. Each child is different, but at 4 I could fold diapers in half, and I've heard of 4 year olds driving tractors before, though child labor laws wouldn't allow this for all day now. (not advocating of course). In any case, try your kids out, see what they can do, and praise their new skills. Make their work and yours as fun as possible. Putting napkins on the table is a good chore for little ones too. My three year old loves to scrub the toilet when I clean the bathroom, I just have to wash his hands after. Kids doing chores at first may be more work for you, but eventually the effort is worth it. Always be polite about asking them for help, even if it's expected.

My daughter has been in a montessori since she was 7 months old and at a early age(14-24 months) they teach to set tables, fold clothes, mop floors, sweep messes, vacuum, wash windows. I don't necessarily have my 3 year old do all these things but I just want you to know that its possible to teach them responsibility and skills like these at a very young age. My daughter loves to do dishes. I have to do them again but she is at least learning the ins and outs of the dishes. She and my 21 month old love to take a wipe and clean around our fireplace. Just a FYI.

My name is E. and we have 5 kids ranging in age from 3 to 17. Since we have a big family, we also have a big house. Not that we couldn't clean the whole thing ourselves, my husband and I wanted to teach the kids how to clean,(I'm not going to college with them!) so we came up with a "job list" there are 7 of us in the house and we picked the 7 "common" rooms, dining room, living rooms, kitchen, bathrooms, laundry room ect... and wrote the name of each one on a block of wood, all same size and shape, put them in a bag and every day we draw a job, this way there is a fairness to it, theres no "why do i always take out the trash" every one get the luck of the draw, even the 3 year old picks. He does what he can and when an older child or dad and mom finish the job we have we help him. We just do simple things like pick up the toys, and socks off the floor, and put dishes in the dishwasher, but it really makes a difference in the house. In 15 minutes or less the whole house is tidy and every one has a part, and all of them are learning to pick up after them selves!