Childish Anger

I have used the "I will not speak to you unless you ask in an appropriate way" the trick to that is not to respond at all, look away and walk away. Usually the kids are so shocked that it sticks if used consistently. Also getting into an argument is going to escalate things. It might not apply in all situations, but it has worked for me.
Has he always had anger issues or did that just recently develop? If it seems like he looses control, even though he is trying, you might want to bring this up to a pediatrician.
(concerning early puberty or hormonal issues)

He's angry for a reason, and the disrespect is most likely the result of him acting out on that anger. As a mom of 4 boys, I STRONGLY urge you to find a counselor for him. The sooner you get his issues addressed, the easier it will be for him and the entire family.

My oldest son had anger issues when he was in 2nd grade (around the time his father and I were going through a divorce). I immediately got him into counseling, individual counseling at first ~ and at the suggestion of his counselor, eventually group anger management therepy along with his individual counseling. It really really worked wonders for him. He wasn't crazy about it, but he is a very well adjusted boy now.

Best of luck to you and your family.

I also have a daughter who is 6 and is a good student and a well rounded kid. My son is 5 and he is very disruptive and full of anger. I have got the school involved and the recomend CRC. We are just getting started with this so I don't know how it will be yet.

I have a son who is 10 who was dealing with anger issues as well. I almost thought it was just an age thing. He used to be so nice and easy going and then all of a sudden he was just angry all the time. We have a split home and even though he was 3 when we divorced that turned out to be the issue. I was fortunate enough to have him in a school that has a divorced home support group. He started the group and it was almost an overnight change. He just needed a place with peers where he had a voice and others understood his pain. I am not sure your situation, but if there was anything from his early childhood that could be traumatic, maybe he just needs a place he can talk about it with people who understand. Sometimes they just can't tell a parent what is going on. Sometimes I don't even think they know why they are so angry. You might talk to a school counselor and see what resources you can use at the school.

J.,

I also suggest that you address his anger with a professional. Pychologists are trained to get to the bottom of these issues and can suggest other types of professionals who can help if he needs more indepth evaluation or treatment, anger is a complex symptom. If he is acting this way at school, you should also ask for help or evaluation, espcially if it is effecting his academic performance. Don't wait.

M.

that is a pre teen for ya.

My son is 8 years old and when he was 3 years old this type of angry stuff started. After going through him telling us that he was going to burn the house down among other nasty hateful comments. We said something to our pediatrician at the time about how he was acting and he(the doctor) seeing it for himself we were still told that it was normal behaviour for a 3 year old, boy was he so wrong. We took him to an allergy doctor thinking that maybe he was allergic to something that he wes eating. That wasn't it so he refered us to a child psyciatrist. We found out right away that he was ADHD and has bi-polar disorder. Medication has helped alot but we still have our days. Hopefully this helps you some.

You can't deal with the anger and disrespectful behavior until you get to the root of the problem. It could be something small/large that he just doesn't know how to handle. Ask his teacher (if they are not telling you already)if his behavior is disruptive at school. Get on one page with whomever you deal with for better success to help him so he does not end up more confused. Consistency works wonders. Good luck to you and your family.