Chicago or Michigan - Dilemma

I have lived in both places. And hands down I have found that the MI kids are nicer in school. (No offense out there!) Also, the MI side of the lake tends to be nicer as well. That being said, I lived near Pontiac- in Clarckston and Brighton. I also lived in Illinios- north of Chicago in Antioch. The school system was great, but the general attitude of the kids was terrible. Not nice at all. I now live in NJ and LOVE it!

Move to Michigan. This is a no-brainer. Chicago isn't the only town that has lots of things to do nor is it the only place in the world to raise kids. While I don't know this for certain, Chicago is most likely exponentially more expensive (housing, shopping, taxes, etc.) than Michigan. I'm sure the congestion, traffic, commuting, which can equate into stress is worse here, too.

Allow your children and your husband to continue to keep the relationship and bonds they've developed over the years. Heck, you deserve it too! The back and forth travel could potentially be extremely stressful for all involved: dad works hard all week and then drives several hours (or flies) home to jam as much stuff as possible into the weekend, you wind up wrangling your children 24-7 during the week when dad is there providing you little to no time to yourself if needed, and the kids miss out on having their father around for the day-to-day activities.

I realize a lot of families make this work. I teach high school and several of my students had fathers who flew to New York City or DC for the week to work and then came home on the weekends and while it worked, it was exceptionally difficult.

If the only thing that is holding you back from moving to Michigan is the amount of "cool activities" that can be done, then imo that's not a good enough reason to split the family unit on a regular basis. There are plenty of cool things to do in Michigan.

I think it's hard to have the family apart. Where are you looking to live in MI? It doesn't matter how the economy is for you here if your husband has a good job already. You'll get a great deal on a home! I live in the NW suburbs and highly recommend it here. There's plenty to do for families including metro and state parks, along with lots of lakes and highly rated schools. Yes, there's good zoos and museums, although it's not the same as Chicago. Things are much more spread out here. Many Michiganders prefer to do things in the suburbs. Message me if you want more info!

I think you need to consider the costs, both financial and emotional, of having your husband living away from home for the majority of the time. What will it cost money-wise for him to be paying for an apartment or hotel to stay at during the week and then have to travel back and forth on the weekends? How will it affect your kids to have their father gone more often than he is home? How will his absence affect your marriage? I can tell you that my husband went on the road as a truck driver for 3 months this past winter and spring and having him away SUCKED.

I know Chicago has a lot to offer and you love it there, but you can find great things for your kids no matter where you go. Keeping the family together should be more important than what parks and musuems the kids can go to. If you do decide to move to MI, I would not actually live IN in Detroit, but the suburbs are very nice - Oakland County communities (Walled Lake, West Bloomfield, Milford, Clarkston, etc.) or also Plymouth/Canton area west of the city. Another consideration would be a college town like Ann Arbor, which has a ton of cultural activities for all ages. There would be a commute involved, but it's still closer than Chicago!

There is plenty to do in Michigan. If you can't find something to do, then you didn't try. You don't say where your husband works, but odds are you won't be living in Detroit. There are plenty of nice suburbs in the Detroit area and there are all kinds of family activities.

I live in Plymouth and I love it here. There are all kinds of community events throughout the year - childrens concerts, art festival, ice festival, fall festival, farmer's market, etc. We have a great downtown area for walking around, shopping, eating, and it even has an old movie theater that shows kid movies on Thursday afternoons through the summer. My neighbors are great. If any of us need anything, there's always another neighbor to help out.

There are zoos in Royal Oak and Toledo. There's Greenfield Village in Dearborn. There are waterparks within a reasonable driving distance. Frankenmuth is little over an hour from here. The local library always has kid programs going on. All of the popular live kid shows come through the area. Usually at the Fox Theater in Detroit or the Palace in Auburn Hills. In the last year or so, we've seen the touring productions of Mary Poppins and Wicked. We also saw Mythbusters Live. My kids are too old for the little kid shows, but the Wiggles, Sesame Street and all of those other shows come through here. In Detroit, there are the Detroit Institute of Arts, Detroit Science Center, and Detroit Historical Museum. There's a children's museum in Ann Arbor. I could go on.

And Chicago isn't that far away if you want to go visit.

What area are you specifically looking at moving to? I am born and raised in Michigan. I have lived in Detroit and its surrounding suburbs all of my life. I have several relatives who have moved to Chicago and the suburbs surrounding Chicago. I have also been to Chicago myself. From what I have been told and my own opinion, I think the Chicago area is way better than Detroit area. The Detroit area has lost a great chunk of its population in the past few years. Jobs are gone, people have jumped ship, houses are in foreclosure, and the city itself is in ruins. The crime rate here is bad especially in the city. Just read our local news stations: www.wxyz.com, www.clickondetroit.com, and www.myfoxdetroit.com. Chicago, just like any other big city, has issues, but it's still vibrant and strong. I have several relatives who have moved to IL from MI in the past few years. They wouldn't come back here if you paid them to.

Southeast MI doesn't have a whole lot of stuff like zoos, museums. We have the Detroit Zoo (in suburban Detroit), the Detroit Institute of Arts (in Detroit), and we have small museums which are located in the other cities. Most Michiganians travel to Ohio to the Toledo Zoo and Cedar Point. The absolute best part of MI, in my opinion, is the Traverse City area--absolutely beautiful with the Sleeping Bear Dunes, the wineries, and waterfront.

Feel free to message me and I can tell you more:)

I have to agree with Christy Lee. Your first priorty should be to keep the family together. We lived apart for a couple of months years ago when my husband was transferred and I stayed to sell the house. That was so hard! Our daughter missed her Daddy, I missed my husband and he missed his girls. Not a good way for a family.

Lets face it Chicago is amazing with lots to do. Any city you live in will have activities you will just need to find them. I moved a lot growing up and my mom always made it an adventure.

I think this decision should have been made prior to him accepting the job, IMO.

I'm originally from MI and agree with a lot of other posters. If you decide to move, you should check out the Plymouth/Canton area- the schools are great and the high schools (there are 3 all on one "campus") are on par with New Trier. Though the area feels very suburban- like a Naperville for example, Plymouth has a cute little downtown area. Definately look into Ann Arbor- the schools are great and being a University town, you'll have more culture and activities to take part in, not to mention the community will be more diverse (similar to Evanston but bigger). On the other side of town (assuming you'll be in the Detroit suburbs) check out Birmingham or Bloomfield Hills- again great schools and Birmingham has a small downtown area (these communities are similar to the North Shore minus the lake). By far, the best thing about MI is going UpNorth!

Lots of great answers here. If your husband took a job in MI, you should give it a try. My brother has lived in Northville and Plymouth(he and his wife have four kids) and he loves it. I agree with others that there is not as much to do as in Chicago, but there are still plenty of children's activities to keep everyone busy. The people are friendly and housing is cheaper. I think it's worth it to give it a shot, especially since your child is still pretty young. Lots of good luck to you whatever you decide and hope that you'll be happy!!

MI is a beautiful state with alot to do. Depending on where you live will tell you about the schools. I grew up in suburb of Detroit and still have family there. I wouldnt send my kids to that school district, but one of the neighboring ones is good and my sister just graduated from it. Research research research. Good luck!!!!!

you won't know until you try it - and if it doesn't work - chicago will always be here.

I love Chicago too, but I would NEVER be able to justify living several hours away from my husband just so we could give the kids better cultural experiences. Detroit was once a jewel of a city, and actually, I am kinda obsessed with learning about its heyday and downfall. Quite fascinating stuff. Perhaps you could learn about it and if it sparks your interest you could help instill a spirit of preservation in your kids.

I have only been to the Detroit area once, and was in the suburbs near Dearborn. Farmington Hills is a beautiful area, comparable to Wilmette. I'd center my search around there.

Don't come to Michigan.....