26 answers

Can't Get Anything Done.....

My newest arrival was born 12/5, this is only my 2nd child so I guess I would still call myself a new mom….. I think my oldest daughter went through the same thing but I honestly can’t remember, it seems like ages ago that I had a newborn.
My LO wants to nurse all the time and never wants to be put down….ever! I can’t get anything done around the house and I feel like I’m neglecting my 3 yr old. Help!!! What can I do? Will she grow out of this “phase”? She sounds so pitiful when she cries I can’t help but to pick her up. I guess I would want to be held too if I was in a cozy womb for 40 weeks?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I hear ya! My daughter is 7 months now and my son is 2.5. I still have trouble getting anything done!! She cries to be held all the time. I guess all you can do is to just let them cry when you have to, and hope they 'get it.' Good luck!!

I felt the same way when my second son was born. I ended up "wearing" him a lot. I used a moby wrap when he was tiny, and a baby bjorn since he was about 3 months. Now i have a mei tai and love that too. I was able to get things done and he loved snuggling close to me. I would have gone insane otherwise!

More Answers

My son was 3 when my daughter was born and I found it worked well to read to him while I nursed my daughter. It gave him some much needed attention and the baby still got what she needed.

2 moms found this helpful

Get a sling. Involve your 3 year old in helping, such as fetching a diaper, listening for when she wakes up etc. Our kids are spaced the exact same way and my helper was wonderful! Kudos to you for nursing and keep it up! Life long benefits will follow for both of you. This experience is giving your 3 year old the chance to be the older sibling, which nurtures independence and confidence. Don't fret, it is labor intensive, and the days may be long, but the years are short. Enjoy. Read Dr. Sears or askDrSears.com and watch your family grow.

1 mom found this helpful

Now is not the time to be Superwoman, expect to have a sparkling clean home, and be Everything to Everyone. Enlist the help of friends, neighbors, and family, whether it be someone to come play with your older daughter, or someone to come and sweep and mop your floors. Your main focus is your newborn; of course this does not mean to neglect your 3 year old, but your newborn needs you more right now. Have your 3 y.o. help out in anyway she can. Maybe get her a baby doll she can take care of and mimic you.

Your baby isn't going through a "phase", but our society/culture seems to be in an irreversible one. A generation or two ago, women had their sisters, mothers, and grandmothers living close to them to help out on a frequent basis. Nieces were expected to be "mother's helpers" to their aunts. If you lived in parts of Europe right now, your husband/partner would be home and on PAID paternity leave right now.

1 mom found this helpful

I was in your shoes a little over a year ago. It is challenging and I know I experienced a lot of mommy guilt those mths. The only thing I could do was when I was nursing the baby was to make sure my 3 yr knew she was welcome to sit with us and I would read to her or watch her draw. Whenever the baby wasn't nursing, (which as you know isn't much at that age) daddy had her. I tried to do as much one-on-one time with my 3 yr old.

Oh and the housework just has to wait. Even now I can't keep it up like I use to but I've finally realized, that's ok!!

Finally, my dh has had to do his share of things around the house and with the kids. There's just no way I can do it all.

Good luck hon, it will pass. The sling idea is also a great one.

1 mom found this helpful


I TOTALLY understand how you are feeling. My daughter was born 11/21 and we are starting to move past that phase (she's almost 4 weeks). I think you and I emailed about pacifiers a few weeks ago... My daughter still doesn't really a pacifier so I nurse her frequently! BUT it is getting a little better. My sister-in-law is a lacatation consultant and she says that if you can get through the first 6 weeks, everything gets easier... keep that in mind!

Here is my suggestion,

If you don't have one, get a sling. I have a "Kangaroo Pouch" and it's super cozy warm and my daughter loves it. It is hard still to really get much done because holding her in the sling doesn't really let me clean the bathroom or cook dinner (very effectively anyway), but it does allow me to play with my 3 year old and my 2 year old.

Know that it won't last forever, and try to take advantage of things you can do with your 3 year old while you are holding/feeding the baby... coloring pictures, reading books, even watching a little TV once and a while won't hurt... it's winter in MN after all :)

Good luck to you and congratulations!


1 mom found this helpful

I used the Ergo Baby Carrier. It worked great!!! (You do have to buy the infant insert to use with a baby this young though...) BUT this is also the only carrier I found that cradles your baby instead of straddling them!!!

I always just cradled my son in and then I had 2 free hands to play with my daughter or cook lunch. PLUS, it's even easy enough to go to the bathroom WEARING this carrier.

This is the only carrier I found where the child is is actual contact with you with NO MATERIAL in between. It's a little more expensive than most carriers, but our son is 18 months and I'm still using it with him. It has a weight limit of like 90 #...

I bought mine at their official website online.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi. I'm right there with you with a 2 month old and 2 year old! I discovered the Sleepy Wrap, and it makes it all possible!

I can comfortably carry my infant for HOURS, literally, and tend to my older son. I've tried the baby front carrier style with all the buckles and found it to be hard on my back; the sling style and have a hard time getting the baby in and out by myself; and then found the Sleepy Wrap. At first I was scared by all the yards of fabric, but you figure it out pretty quickly. I can hold the baby in three different positions now, and as she gets older, there are additional positions to use. I just put on the wrap in the morning and keep it on all day, basically, because even when she isn't in it, I don't mind wearing it. It's great when I'm out in a store and she starts fussing in her carseat; I just throw off my coat and slip her in the wrap, and she's instantly comforted. I really can't say enough good things about it. It really has made being the mom to two small ones--and getting things done around the house--possible!

If you're interested, you can find it at www.sleepywrap.com. Free shipping even!

(Wow, that all sounded like a salespitch!)

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I have a 7year old and a 2mo.old and feel exactly like you. I also don't remember my first being this needy and high maintance as I like to call it. I figure they just have different personalities. My house is a disaster and I feel like I'm neglecting my older daughter as well. I just think with time the babies will learn to be content by themselves on the floor or in a swing for short periods of time and things will improve and they are slowly improving for me. My baby is finally starting to like her swing, bouncy chair or some floor time. I want to shout THANK GOD! My Babybjorn carrier has helped me. My daughter also is picky and usually only goes to me, and may I add we had colic problems on top of all this but after a formula change she's better.

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