Can I Take a Minute to Complain???

Updated on August 26, 2012
J.F. asks from Bloomington, IN
21 answers

All-in-all I think I've handled this situation very well, but I'm very frustrated today and need to vent.

Last Thursday I went into the ER with the worst migraine I have ever had....it'd been almost 2 full days of having it. The dr. did a CT scan and found a tumor on my putuitary gland. This tumor explains sooooo many of my symptoms in the past few years (see my recent post). I found the news almost a relief in a way. It explained things. They sent me home still in pain and I was told by a nurse that "you just need to sleep this off." Ummm. No. I don't think that is how it works.

Since then, I saw a neurosurgeon on Friday. He gave me better meds and ordered an MRI for this past Wed. Monday, I saw a new primary doctor (since I didn't have one) and she took fantastic notes and moved the MRI up to Tuesday....she seemed very worried about the tumor and my headaches. She changed my meds to another one to help manage the headache....it seems to work along with ibuprofen around the clock....it makes it a dull roar unless I do any real activity, then I get pounding.

Tuesday, I had the MRI and got a phone call within 3 hours later saying the tumor was bigger than they thought, was on my optic nerve, and showed evidence that it has bled (and may be actively bleeding). My primary dr. was very concerned and wanted me to also call the NS the next day to make sure he saw it.

Wednesday, when I called the NS's office, the lady there (I'm assuming a receptionist) was flustered and didn't like that I was asking questions. I told her I was concerned that the dr. wouldn't see my images until Friday when he returned because my primary seemd quite concerned. She then asked who I was and that "Oh yes. That sounds familiar. He did see your images this morning and that you don't need to panic." I told her I wasn't panicking and that I was just trying to figure out the next move since it sounded pretty serious. She tried talking me down (which I didn't need). When I said I was concerned that I have this horrible headache that isn't going away, she says, "It'll go away!" Oh really? When is that? Grrr. So I quickly got off the phone with her and waited for my primary dr.'s office to call me. That woman was much nicer and answered my questions. The NS wanted me to see an opthamologist and they had me go that day (Wed.).

So here I am today, Friday wanting to hear from my NS. We waited until almost 11:30 and finally called. The same woman answered and my husband asked if we needed to make an appt. She seemed irritated that we called and said that we needed to see the opthamologist first. He explained that I already did and that they should have the report. She then says, "Oh yeah. He did want to see her after that." Duh. So she scheduled the appt for next Tuesday.

So I'm complaining that this woman doesn't seem to want to be bothered to do her job, and that it's a good thing I don't just let things go. I'm also irritated that I still have a headache that is difficult to manage and it just doesn't seem to be a big deal to keep putting me off. When I ask about my situation, I'm treated like I'm an idiot. How am I supposed to react when I have one doctor asking me daily if my vision has changed and to run to the ER if it does and another person (a receptionist) tell me to calm down, get over myself, and my headache will just go away.....and I can see the doctor when she gets around to scheduling it? I would feel so much better if I could hear this information from the NS himself. Ya know?

I just want this behind me. I want to live life again without headaches that keep me from driving and functioning. I want to go back to work and enjoy my kids. I just want to be treated with respect when I ask real questions, not like some over freaked person who thinks that they are dying. I'm not dying. This is treatable. It will probably require surgery, and I'm good with that.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ok. I'm good now. Not looking forward to a pain-filled weekend, but I just needed to vent some steam. The hubs has been doing it all, and I can't unload my stress on him....although he seems to be feeling the same way.

Thanks again!
J.

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A.L.

answers from Charleston on

When you're feeling better, call the practice manager of the office of the crazy receptionist and tell then how this woman treated you. Guarantee they will want to know, because you're probably not the only patient she treats this way.

I get migraines too, but can't even imagine how you must be feeling! Sending you ((hugs)), and vent all you want!

4 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would absolutely tell the doctor this when you see him. His receptionist should notbe dispensing medical advice.

3 moms found this helpful

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E.D.

answers from Seattle on

Dang, that stinks.

It IS a good thing that you are a person who keeps on tryin' until she finds a way around the barrier. It's not fair that you are being required to do so especially when you are in terrible pain and stress - but it does make me think you are a brave, tough, amazing lady.

I'm sending you all my best. Please vent away. You certainly shouldn't have to be silent through this.

(Oh yah, and you may consider making a complaint with your NS about the receptionist. Not sure if it would accomplished the desired result (professional service) but it might be worth a try?)

7 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Chicago on

I am so sorry! I have found that if a doctor is awful they usually have fantastic staff and vice versa!!!! I have seen a few exceptions but that was my attitude a few years ago!

Either insist the NS call you back or go in and wait until he comes out to speak to you. This is nuts.

My other suggestion - have your primary doctor call the NS.

6 moms found this helpful

J.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hugs!

I hope this goes as easy as possble for you and your family.

BTW-Quite a relief to see someone here has a wonderfully supportive and caring husband. :)

Have a relaxing weekend.

5 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Boston on

J. you are a saint! You are doing a great job handling something that is a very big deal with grace and patience even while in pain.

Since your primary sounds like she and her staff "get it" can someone from her office put a call into the NS office and put a bug in the doctor and receptionists ear that this is a high priority case so please get on the ball? Sometimes hearing it from a peer, especially a doctor who can steer patients to the specialists office, has more weight than a patient who they don't know well. They might even be able to get your appointment moved up a day if he's in the office Monday. My PCP has been able to say some magic words and get me into a specialist sooner when needed.

Hope you get treated quickly and are well again soon.

5 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Often a receptionist can turn more people away from a docs practice that if he were a bad doc. They often overstep their boundaries and don't seem to understand they are not doing their job. In their mind they are really good at it.

I think you should mention this to the doc at the appointment, perhaps asking him if he can refer you to another doc because you don't like calling his office would be an eye opener for him...lol.

I hope this all turns out to be something they can swoop in and take out with no further issues. I know things like this can be very stressful and make us weary with worry. Just try to remember it's what it is and nothing is worse than the anxiety of the "What if". Take a breath and relax as much as possible. Do stuff to distract yourself if you find that you can't stop dwelling on this.

Keeping yourself busy will also make the time go faster.

5 moms found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Tallahassee on

So sorry you're having to go through all of that. I had a similar experience with a urologists office when my 2-year old daughter kept getting UTI's. Our family doctor was concerned and wanted her to see a specialist. The specialist had us take DD to get some tests done at the hospital. When I tried to make a follow up appointment to go over the results with the urologist the receptionist refused to set up an appointment with him and kept telling us that we could only get an appointment with a nurse. No thank you! I don't mind seeing a nurse for a cold or the flu, but I want to see a doctor to go over my 2-year old's test results. I called our family doctor's office back and talked to our doctor's assistant and she handled everything for us. She called the urologist's office and ripped their receptionist a new one. The receptionist called me back to appologize and set up an appointment with the doctor. Unfortunatley, that wasn't the last of the problems we had with their office either, but we're done with them now. The urologist was a great doctor, but his staff was terrible.

We also had a problem when I suspected DD had another UTI. I took a urine sample to the urologist's office and they called me back the next day telling me that DD did have an infection and I needed to go pick up the prescription they called in for her and get her started on it immediately. This was on a Friday and by the time I got to the pharmacy it was about 4:00. The pharmacist gave me the prescription and I realized it was pills. Not just any pills, but Cipro, which are HUGE and not approved for young kids. The pharmacist handed me the phone so I could call the doctor's office and they told me to just crush up the pill and give it to her that way or just wait until Monday to get a new prescription (although they initially told me to get DD started on the meds IMMEDIATELY). As she was telling me this my daughter was crying and screaming because she didn't feel good. I told the pharmacist what they said and she was livid. She took the phone and told them that you can't crush up Cipro because it loses it's efficacy and it's also not approved for young kids. She told them to ask a doctor for another medication and they put her on hold. We were on hold for about 10 minutes when the pharmacist told me to hang up and call back because she thought they were just going to "forget" about me until they closed the office so I couldn't call back. I hung up and called back and eventually they were able to get us a prescription for a liquid antibiotic. Thank goodness for the helpful pharmacist.

5 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Sending you HUMONGO (((((((((hugs))))))))

I would suggest also, that your husband, when you do meet with the NS, take a moment to mention to him/her that the receptionist seemed ____ (unresponsive, unconcerned, indifferent, whatever it is to describe how you feel she was wrong) and that you both found it disconcerting.

He should know how she "handles" patients on the phone, if he doesn't already.
But be diplomatic, because you just never know. She could be his wife.

5 moms found this helpful

⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

Hi J.,

I am very sorry you are going through this. My husband was diagnosed with his pit tumor 3.5 years ago. He has undergone 2 surgeries and 7 weeks of radiation and is doing better. It is still butted up against the optic nerve and is wrapped around both carotids. He still gets the occasional headache.

I understand your frustration. It is a big deal and the receptionist, or whoever took your calls at your neuro's ofc, needs to understand that. I am sure she gets a hundred calls a day so she is desensitized, but should handle it better! It does sound like you are on the right path now for treatment. I worked for the neuro who saw my husband and I know how busy/crazy their schedules are. An appt on Tuesday is pretty good for a specialist. Is he a pit tumor specialist? If not, see if you can find one. And also make sure the ENT you end up with is also familiar with pit tumors.

I wish you the best in your recovery and if you ever have questions or need to talk, please feel free to PM me.

4 moms found this helpful
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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm sorry you are in so much pain and hope you are better soon. For ME, I would be laying down on the ER floor until they helped me with the pain. I have never had a migraine, but I have a friend who has battled with them a long time. She has to go to the ER and get shots another friend (male) has to carry around shots he gives himself. For both the shots don't always work right away and they are down for the count a couple of days. So again, I pray your pain goes away soon and the surgery eliminates your migraines all together.

Blessings....

3 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

The receptionist is an idiot. Isn't it nice to be able to vent about her on this site? :)

Who cares if she doesn't like your asking questions. Do what you need to do.

We've got your back. Keep us posted!

3 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I feel ya, granted not my brain but my knee. Kind of a useful thing to have in working condition. That is actually how surgeon's offices work. I was going nuts because they couldn't get my insurance moving and get my MRI and until they did I couldn't get back in to figure out what to do and argh!! Just from what they said, how they said it, I felt like I was number 99 and number 100 died of waiting!!

Thing is my orthopedic surgeon is good friends with one of my bosses. I knew damn well he was doing everything he could to speed it along because despite the amount of time I spend online here at work, he wants me in the office every day, I am rather needed.

Even though the run around, the everything is fine like I have knee surgery every day, the ho hum, it got to me. What kept me from the point you are in is knowing there is no way they are actually blowing me off because my boss would have killed him!

I wish you had that, it really helps.

Oh, for anyone who has heard my boss stories, this is the other one, the nice one. :)

Oh, my favorite! I had to wait four days longer for my surgery because my orthopedic surgeon went fishing with my boss!! Really!! I laugh about it now but at the time I was thinking, fish!!??

2 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm so sorry she is giving your some sort of run around. I can completely agree that I would need to vent too.

I think your questions are very valid and not at all of any kind of norm. Good for you and your husband for standing up for you.

I wish had some sort of words of wisdom to send you so instead I'm sending you a big hug and thoughts that someone is sending go away pain thoughts.

And take as many minutes you need to get that vent out...and do it again if you need to!

2 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I am so sorry that you are in pain and that you are being treated that way by the receptionist.

I would definitely mention it to the doctor. IMO, it takes a very compassionate person to work as a receptionist in a medical office. Not everyone is cut out for it.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Kudos to your fantastic hubby for taking such good care of you!

2 moms found this helpful
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P.P.

answers from Chicago on

Sometimes people in the medical profession aren't as professional as they should be and it is very annoying. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I sympathize. I hope you are in good health soon.

2 moms found this helpful
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H.L.

answers from Portland on

I'm so sorry you are going through this! I recently took a friend to the ER with a migraine and they hardly did anything for her. It was as if they just thought she was seeking drugs or something. I was so frustrated that they simply dismissed her like that.

What a scary situation and that receptionist sounds horrible. You have every right to get info and not be belittled. Definitely complain to the doctor about it.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

When I was pregnant I had a terrible sinus infection. All the Dr's blew me off, so I bypassed the OB and called an ENT! They were OK until I said I was pregnant, and then they said, ah, it's just stuffy nose from that. Wait until the baby is born. Now, I know my treatment while pregnant would have been limited, but NOBODY took me seriously.

I eventually had to have surgery, and my baby stopped nursing at 10 months because he wouldn't go back to the breast after 2 weeks + of pumping and dumping.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.D.

answers from Cincinnati on

Absolutely you can vent. I am so sorry for what you are going through. At least your husband is very supportive. Just a migraine, huh, so it will go away even though there is a tumor on your pituitary gland? I mean really. Is there anything you and your husband can do to take your mind off this. I would be a wreck if I had a tumor and wanting answers and the receptionist was being condescending.
I really hope you feel better soon.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I'd call and ask to talk directly with the neurosurgeon. Be insistent that you'll talk only with him.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

Just have your primary care doc and or ophthalmologist call NS for appt and plan.

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