C-section/missing Out, Just Curious

Doesnt matter how you have them, hormones dictate exactly the same way after the eviction regardless.

I gave birth by c-section. But I still gave birth. Doesn't matter the method it only matters in the results! No, I didn't miss a darn thing.

What exactly is "bonding"? It's a different feeling for different people. I think it's crazy to say someone missed out on anything, maybe the person who delivered v**inally missed out??
I had an emergency c-section and also my body did not produce milk so I could not breast feed. 2 strikes against me in the "perfect mom" world :-)
I love my dd and she loves me. She is healthy and wonderful. I missed out on nothing.
Stop regretting things you can not change and move forward.

I know you asked for those who have only had c-sections but I just wanted to throw my 2 cents in. I have had 2 v**inal deliveries and didn't feel like I bonded at all with my first one until weeks later. 2nd was love at first sight sort of thing. But, I think so many women get caught up in how the baby was delivered and not think about the final outcome is what is important. My Sister in Law had to have all 3 via c-section and I am not joking when I say that she is on anti depressants because of the way she had to give birth. She has 3 beautiful healthy children but feels jipped because of the way they entered this world. 10 fingers 10 toes, 1 healthy baby, 1 healthy mom is the only thing that matters when it comes to your childs delivery.

only thing missing was the v**inal bleeding and kotex's, stitches and swelling and having to squirt urself after the peeing deed.

and for the bonding, its gonna happen regardless, the womb is like an apartment, you can get evicted peacefully or taken out. lol.

My first child was v**inal, after 20 hours of labor, and 2 hours of pushing, all I could think when she finally came out was "Thank God thats over". I didnt even cry I was so relieved.
My second baby was c-section, it was planned, very calm, I was aware of everything that was happening, and when I heard him cry, I actually had that moment, I cried like a baby. I didnt feel cheated whatsoever. It was amazing. I was able to hold him in the same amount of time I was able to hold my daughter.
With my v**inal delivery, it was h*** o* the baby, and she had a bowel movement before she was born. I didnt get to hold her right away, they had to evaluate her. :(

Planned c-section due to breech- Never regretted it and never felt that i missed out or did not bond with my baby. from the moment I left the OR she was with me (before that she was with daddy- never out of our sight)- I would not have changed a thing!

I had an emergency c-section following my water breaking prematurely and 12 hours of pitocin. It was not the birth experience I imagined in my head. But I also never had that "something missing" feeling. Thanks for posting this, I have always wondered if I was alone on that.

I had two and it is what it is. Did not miss out on a thing...my babies were safe and that is all that mattered. We bonded just fine.

No. Mine was an emergency C-section so I cried when I held her. It was awesome for her to be alive after her umbilical chord wrapped over her shoulder.

Why would you (general you) feel like your missing out because your child came out of your lower stomach instead of your v**inal area? I don't get how they can't bond because of what region of the body the child comes out of. Sounds like they are let down by not experiencing a more "natural" birth than anything, and letting it depress them or something. You saw it on a baby show? lol, there's the answer. I swear they pick the people you wish wouldn't reproduce to be on those shows.

I delivered my first naturally and my second via emergency c-section. I can say they were very different experiences. I bonded with both but in very different ways and at different times. Delivering naturally is unbelievable and the bond is instant. Given the emergency c-section, I didn't see my son until about 3 or so hours after he was born and already wrapped up and with my husband. (I had to be put under because epidural wasn't working on one side) I felt I missed out on something there. Either way I had unique experiences with both that I can share.

I had a c-section and I do not feel like I missed out on anything, and I didnt seem to have any trouble bonding with either of my twins. But I have had people ask me I feel like I didnt get to experiance child birth becasue I had a c-section. Last I checked having a c-section is a form of giving birth!

Nope. We knew I would have a c-section from about 20 weeks. There were too many complications and variables. It was planned, and very peaceful. They were playing Steve Miller and we were singing. My son was born perfectly healthy, and two years later...he still is!

My friend had her son 2 weeks before me. She decided on a home birth. (I have nothing wrong with home births, for the record.) When she came to see me in the hospital, she was still waddling in pain and very tired and sore. It was the day after my section, and I was feeling great (with no more pain meds) and walking around much better then her. Maybe, she felt more empowered...I don't know...but she was pretty jealous of my recover time.

I love reading the answers you have gotten, D.! All 3 of my children were c sections, and there have been brief moments when I wonder what it would have been like to go into labor and push them out, but as others have said, it's all about healthy babies and a healthy momma to care for them afterwards. So while it still seems contrary to what I was expecting when I got pregnant, I've never been through labor, and I have 3 beautiful and healthy kids! I was able to nurse them all for at least 10 months, and could not love them anymore than I already do. (They are 9, almost 7, and 4.)

I have had both- v**, csection after failed induction then vbac. While I prefer my v** deliveries for their quick recoveries, I bonded similarly with all my babies or maybe even more so with my csection baby...he had a 6" umbilical cord no one knew about till the csection- so I was so thankful he was alive and perfect! His birth video makes me bawl even now- 2.5 yrs later!

No regrets at all I don't feel like I missed out on anything at all. I knew from about 9 weeks I would have a c/s due to medical issues. I am happy to live in a time that a c/s is possible or both baby and I probably would die during child birth. My first was an emergency at 33 weeks and while not an amazing expericence because of concern for the baby and being wisked off to the NICU I knew it was best for both of us. The hospital staff was amazing. I will have a repeat c/s this fall even though I have been given the option of a VBAC I refused due to my medical issues. Just because I didn't push my children out my v**ina doesn't mean I didn't give birth as I have heard some women state.

I have 2 kids, 1st was born naturally, 2nd via c-section. I bonded just as easily with both, did not feel like I missed out on anything.

I had a c-section followed by two home births. I definitely felt that I missed out after my c-section. I knew that I wasn't supposed to feel that violated and abused after giving birth. The fact that I had a healthy baby didn't really make me feel better about the treatment I received. That being said, I bonded with my baby just fine.
The home births were everything I imagined and more. I came away feeling so powerful, and respected. It was a very healing experience for me. My two homebirth babies had a much gentler and respectful entry into the world than my c-section baby received and I am sorry about that for both of us.
Technology is a wonderful thing but I feel that the c-section rate is much too high for all of them to be truly necessary. I feel certain that mine was a result of lack of patience by the on staff doctor.

I don't feel like I missed anything by having a c-section. Bonding went great between me and DD. While I admire the moms who deliver naturally and especially admire the ones who can do it without pain meds, I had/have no desire to do that. I was just telling someone at my office today that they don't give a girl scout badge for going through all that. The inner satisfaction has to be reward enough, and for me I am just not motivated that way. God willing, you still get a healthy baby either way and that is what I focused on! Thankfully we live in an age where c-sec/pain meds are possible, can you imagine giving birth on the wagon train across the country? It makes me ill just thinking about it.

I have done both.... My preference was a v**inal delivery. That said, the overriding goal was healthy mom & baby.
My 3rd was a STAT c-section due to placental abruption - so was very quickly done and was also scary (because we knew baby was in distress). Baby was not breathing initially on arrival, so was taken to NICU - without me getting to see him. (He is now healthy, and the scare is a thing of the past.)
I think if it had been a more planned c-section or a less scary situation then I would look back on it more fondly. For me the unexpected insult to my body was really hard - and it took multiple days for me to be able to walk to the NICU where he was staying.... So, not your typical c-section (or baby)... Early bonding was hard, as I could not hold/snuggle him - because he was a NICU baby....
Not really the question you asked. Either way, I am happy to have him - and I have bonded with him just as well as the other two. :) (He is now 2.5 months old. :) )

I've experienced both types of delivery and have not felt I missed anything by having the c-section.

Our daughter was an emergency c-section. My water broke, but I never went into active labor and never dilated past 3 cm. After almost 12 hours, her heart rate started to drop so they decided we had to do the c-section. When they gave me the spinal, only my feet went numb. They had to put me completely under. I woke up an hour after she was delivered. I was a sad because I had missed her whole birth and didn't get to hear them say, "It's a girl!" I don't feel like I missed out on any bonding a d on the plus side, since I was out for the first hour she really bonded with daddy.

With our son we tried VBAC but had a similar experience. Water broke, dilated to four cm, stalled out, his heart rate started to have a harder time after each contraction, and the contractions were going nowhere. I already had an epidural, so I was able to stay awake for the delivery. But, the epidural started to wear off before they were done closing me up and I had to be put under until they were finished. With our son I didn't have any feelings of regret. I knew that I had tried to do a v**inal and all that mattered was that I had two healthy, beautiful children.

I had a c-section at 35 weeks, and no, I don't feel that I missed out on anything. I think either way you do it is a magical, scary, amazing, painful, life-changing experience. If c-sections weren't possible my baby (and possibly myself) would have died, and so thank God for c-sections. For my second child, I think I will have a planned c-section rather than risking a vbac (absolutely nothing against vbacs, just had a good c-section experience so I'm thinking I'm going to do it again). In terms of bonding, I think if I loved my little girl any more intensely than I already do I might go crazy :). I don't think we could be any more bonded. One side benefit of a c-section for us was that my husband was the first to see/hold her, and also did most of her cares the first day. He was not historically a baby person, and so I was a little concerned about how he would bond with a baby, and so I think that him holding/seeing/caring for her first was perfect. He is a wonderful daddy and adores his baby girl and is very involved in all aspects of her care (which I never would have imagined him being), and I wonder if some of that is due to their time together immediately.

I have 2 ..the first was "natural" and the 2nd was induced with an epidural.. I must say I felt better alot quicker after the 1st with no anesthetic.. i"m not tyring to be a hero lol just how my body works .. I don't think you should choose surgery if you don't have to have it but if you have a c section because you or your baby needs it then you absolutely are doing the right thing!! I WILL say that I missed the excitement of going into labor the 2nd time (my hubby was headed to Iraqfor the 2nd time and we induced 2 weeks early so he could be there) and I felt kinda sad that we "chose" her birthday .. that lasted about a day ..she loves her Birthday and I do too!! all in all you do whats right for you and your baby and that makes up for "missing out" on what someone else had.

I had 3 c-sections and while not my preferred method, it is what it is. I don't feel I bonded any less other than being more out of it from the pain meds. Of course it made nursing more challenging at first but in the end having my babies born safely was all the mattered.

I will say being the room after my niece had her baby and seeing her up within hours and eating made me long for that experience vs the recovery with a c-section.

I had a hard time bonding with my son after my c-section because it was literally so traumatic (it was life or death, literally); I ended up having post traumatic stress for several months afterward. I also felt utterly awful, physically for about a month, and only gradually better over the next 2 months, so it was really hard for me not to resent this little person that, when I wasn't thinking right/clearly, I felt had caused all of this and still demanded so much time/energy/attention. I was not in a good place for a while after he was born.

I love my son, and I spent hours and hours breastfeeding him (he was an "inefficient" nurser, so he would need to nurse for 1.5 hours in order to be able to have enough food to sleep for 2 hours at a time, as a newborn). So that helped over the long haul, to bond us.

I firmly believe that our bodies were made to birth v**inally. That is how we evolved, and as a species it has worked for millions of years for us (and other mammals). I had faith in my ability to birth naturally, but I unfortunately chose an OB practice who wanted to "err on the side of caution" (I'm sure they would say), and their actions directly resulted in this traumatic birth.

So, yes, I do feel I "missed out" on an experience that I will never have as a woman (we aren't planning to have more children). That's doesn't mean that my son's birth wasn't "valid"--it was, but it was also deeply traumatic.

That is not to say that v**inal births aren't traumatic--some of them are very much so.

I didn't even birth my daughter (adopted my biological niece at 10 days old) either way and I haven't missed out on anything!! I don't see how we could have bonded more than we have.

I also had all three of my children by c section. My first I was in labor and dilated to 5 but didn't have a lot of pain and had to have an emergancy c section. I was put out with both the first and second. By the time I had my third, 5 and half years after the first, they had epidurals available and I had that. It was the only child I got to hear the first cry. That is what I miss most when I think of my first two babies births... that and seeing them right away instead of all cleaned up and wrapped up. I was missing the feeling of having them natural, like I failed or something until my daughter in law let me be in why she was in labor with my first grandchild. She had problems and long labor and they tried to use a suction cup to guild my granddaughter out. It was horrible and in the end she had to have c section too. I decided then God knew I wouldn't be good with pain like that and gave me c sections for that reason. I had easy c sections, was up walking right away, eating without trouble. Only my middle one did I have any trouble and had to have blood transfusions but it was only 17 months after my first so I think that had some to do with it. As far as bonding goes, I never had problems with that, I bonded with them when I carried them and it continued to get stronger as the years go by. I surprised the nurses in the nursery when my youngest was under the lights and I would hear him cry clear in my room. I knew it was him and would head to the nursery and talk with him which always calmed him down. The nurses would say "How do you hear him when you are clear down the hall like that?" I don't know how, I just did.

My first ended up being an emergency c-section as we thought the cord was around his neck. He was in distress anytime I got sick on the ice chips! lol It turned out I had some sort of uterine infection and both of us had a high fever. The ob said that he would have had to do a c-section anything because of the infection.

My second was a VBAC and was progressing fairly well. They had the ob staff on hand, just in case. After trying to push for 45 minutes with absolutely NO results we went in for the c-section. This time around I was more aware of what was going on, but when the nursery called down and said he was 10 pounds 5 3/4 oz I realized WHY he wouldn't come naturally! :)

This time around I know I'll have to have a c-section and it doesn't bother me a bit. I know I tried and went into labor both times, but for various reasons didn't get to push someone out of the 10 cm opening! I'm actually looking forward to *knowing* this ones birthday and he/she isn't due until early December!

Nope. First section was due to a failed induction. Second was planned because of twins (and assorted other reasons) and I never felt like less of a mother because they "came out the chimney rather than the southern route." There was a bond formed when they were squirming around in me, kicking and listening to my voice and all of that. Nothing could take that away from me. I could have been unconscious when they were born and still felt that these are MY children. But I did enjoy hearing that first cry and seeing them "meet the world."

I dont feel like I missed out on anything but the pain. lol

I had two c-sections as well. I had epidurals and felt very little pain. To me, that is the way it should be because I look back at my delivery experiences as very joyous occasions! No regrets at all for me!
A.

my c section was emergency because he was breech and i was in labor. honestly, i am so grateful, i was scared of labor (to the point, still am!) and it was a breeze for me. very little pain or discomfort. recovery was great. it was SO much simpler and easier than i imagined having a baby would be. no regrets!!

My son was breech so I had a planned c-section. I went into labor anyway and it was horrible! They told me that it hurt worse due to his position but who knows. I felt like I was being tortured and begged them to give me pain medication but they couldn't until I was in the OR. I don't think I "missed out" on anything because I don't understand why anyone wants to feel that kind of pain. If I did have another child I woud opt for a v-back if I was a candidate because the c-section recovery was so hard for me. Much worse than I expected. As for bonding, it was not "real" to me for several days. Of course I was happy he was here and breastfed well from the very beginning but I was not "In Love" when I saw him. I was excited and happy...does that count as bonding?

I waited anxiously for almost 9 months to have my first child. at 35 weeks Head was down, we were ready to go. I spent most of my time Anticipating the rush or excitement when my water would break, fearing it would be on my bed and gross out my hubby. Wondering what the contractions would feel like, anxious about whether I would try for no drugs or lots of drugs. Worrying if I was strong enough to do it...

Then at my 36 week appointment we were waiting to hear those wonderful words, "its getting close!"...instead my doctor uses his hands to examine and suddenly asks us "where did the head go?" then walks out! My husband and I looked like deers in the headlights? WTH did he mean, where did the head go? Did it disapear? WHAT IS GOING ON???!!!

Anyway, we had an ultrasound and determined that the head was there (thank god) but that my little baby had flipped completely around into a breach position and that there was a loose not in the cord. Few, what relief! The head didn't fall out!

We scheduled a c-section for 2 weeks later.

I was a little disappointed that after all that time wondering and guessing and waiting that it was now all planned out and I knew exactly what was going to happen and how and when. But in the end it didn't matter, my baby was safe, healthy and she was smart enough to know that something wasn't right with her head down and flipped around. :)

I have to admit that I was a little relieved that I didn't have to show the world how brave I was too.

I planned an all natural don't even think about touching me birth and got a c-section under general. I have no real regrets-- I think because I felt in control of the decision making even though I wasn't in control of the situation (no one ever is!)

There are a whole lotta women who are well bonded with their kids and mothering well who have NEVER given birth at all -- being adoptive, foster, step, etc

personally, deep down i was disappointed that i had to have a c-section. i imagined him being born naturally, and him being handed to me and placed on my chest right after birth. you think of these things when your preggo!! and because of complications with the epidural, i ended up not being able to hold my son for several hours after his birth. i dont think the bonding thing applies though; he is still mine and i got to bf him and hold him and we bonded as soon as i was able to hold him!!

What a good question :D Like some of the other mamas who had v**inal births, I never really "feel" bonded until a bit later. Birth is such a huge accomplishment and making sure that you are taking care of yourself in the baby is what has always been paramount in my mind. Both times I have been more focused on getting a good latch for the baby, finding out who, where and when we are doing the circumcision, waiting for the person to check their hearing, trying to schedule the dang picture, and on and on.... I am always so happy to get home and out of the drama of the hospital!! Then when you do get home it is total mayhem for a bit, so just keeping up and making sure my new babe is doing well is all I can think of so I guess during all of that some bonding is going down, who knows!! But with both of mine by the first month or so, I feel such a relief knowing they are doing well and things are smoothing out that I can take more *time* to bond. But of course I adore my babies from day one. Today I was looking at my 18 month old and just thinking of how over the moon I am for him, I don't think that I would feel less that way if he was born by c-section although I am happy I didn't have to go through surgery to get him :D

I had c-sections with both my kids.
One being an emergency c-section.

NO, I feel NO different than women who had v**inal births.
Bonding with your baby/child, has NOTHING to do, with how they came out of your body.

I breastfed, immediately after I was in recovery.
I nursed on-demand at that hospital.
My son, even while the nurses were bringing him down the hallway to my room... I could HEAR him grunting and squealing on the way to my room. As SOON as they entered my room, my son would be turning his head toward me quite pointedly. He KNEW who his Mommy was and that he was being brought to me to nurse. He and I bonded instantly.
With my daughter, she was the same way.
They both stayed with me in my room as much as possible in the bassinet. But my son had had Jaundice, so he had to be under the blue-lights in the nursery.

It makes NO difference, how a baby was born... and how a Mom/baby bonds or not.
I have never felt, that I 'missed out' on anything, just because I had c-sections.

I am about to have my second c-section in a week and a half. Both were planned, so I also get to miss out on going into labor, and contractions! I'm so excited at the possibility that I could birth three kids and never have felt a single contraction throughout the entire process. Oh, and I also get to miss out on hemorrhoids, peeing when I cough or sneeze, and other issues that arise from delivering v**inally. I don't have to worry about when I'm going into labor, if I'm going into labor, and what do I do with my twin boys if I need to go to the hospital in the middle of the night.

So, nope. I don't feel like I missed out on anything!!!

My son was born by c-section, but I didn't feel like I missed out at all. Maybe it was the 14 hours of hard labor.....maybe it was the fact that they had him with me the whole time and I nursed before I could even sit up....maybe it's because he is my first child. I don't know, but I do know I love nothing more than my son and he, almost 5, is as attached to me as ever! As a matter of fact, he never had a "lovey" - a fav blanket or toy. It was always me (my hubby hates that, but oh well)!

I don't feel as if I missed out on anything. I bonded with my baby because I was talking to him the whole time while he was inside me. I knew he was mine and that's all that mattered. I've heard women say aw you had a c-section as if it was the end of the world. If it wasn't for an alternative way to have babies I wouldn't have any. I'm happy I have a beautiful boy who is healthy and full of life....

My first was a traumatic cesarean experience. I went in trusting my Drs and Nurses - thinking they had MY best interests... but all they had was their own timetable and interests. I asked for minimal interventions - got the full array and ended up with an intervention induced 'emergency' cesarean. To this day, I feel violated, betrayed, resentful and bitter about my daughter's birth. Yeah Yeah - we both survived... whoop dee doo. We would have both survived - with a healthier and happier Mommy - if I had used a Midwife 1st time around. I still have lower pelvic pain, numbness of the first 2 layers (skin and 1 layer of muscles) from belly button down to scar, still get migraines from the epidural and had major complications with the surgery that required a 5 night stay shortly after I left with my baby.

#2 is coming in July - I had been researching and talking with professionals (Midwives and CNMs) and other natural birthing Mothers for the last 5 years. I am having a home birth VBAC and couldn't be more at ease and thankful. I'm a Nurse, so I'm not going in with blinders as many surgery seeking Mommies tend to think, nor do I see the sensationalized 'natural births' most Moms think are reality.

For real natural birthing experiences to view - I recommend watching: Business of Being Born, Orgasmic Birth, Gentle Birthing Choices, Born in Water, and Natural Born Babies

If anyone wants book recommendations - PM me.

I had one natural delivery and 4 C-Sections. I bonded just fine with them all. My natural one tells a better story when we're swapping labor stories but that's about it besides the fact that the recovery for the natural one was soooooooooo much faster than the sections.

I had two c-sections as well. With my first daughter I did get to experience labor and contractions but in the end it resulted in an emergency c-section as her heart rate would drop with every contraction and she wouldn't drop into the birth canal. Ended up she had the cord wrapped around her neck twice.

I just had my second daughter via c-section 4 months ago. I do have to admit that I went back and forth with the idea of another c-section or to try a v-bac because I did worry that I would feel like I would miss out on having a baby v**inally. I got over that because in the end the most important thing is a healthy baby and mom. We chose to go with the c-section as my husband was too scared of what could happen with a vbac. :) With both c-sections I bonded with both of my little girls. Since this second one was planned it was relaxing and calm and the recovery time was much quicker and easier. I'm just thankful for my two healthy girls!